BEDTIME STORIES ARE SO BORING
By Jose E. Cepeda
INTRODUCTION
It was in the summer of 1944 that invaders struck our planet without warning. They came from the distant heavens in huge invasion fleets, bringing a wrath of hate, destruction, and death. They had carefully crafted up diabolical and sinister plans for the conquest and colonization of Earth. Some called them demons or banshees from another galaxy. To most people, they looked a lot like ugly lizards from someone’s worse nightmare.
The lizards had been studying our planet for years by monitoring our radio signals, waiting for the most opportune time to strike. They didn’t have to wait long. The world was at war, with nation against nation. At first, it seemed that the lizards had the advantage with their superior technology and advanced weaponry. Slowly, the tide of battle turned in favor of the humans, who put aside their differences by banding together to fight a common foe. Eventually, Earth built their own space fleets and took their fight to stars. Thus was born, the Star Corps.
Men, like Captain “Ace” Rango, and women, like Lieutenant Maria Rodriquez, joined the Star Corps to repel the lizard invasion. These dedicated crews spent so much time in deep space combat that they lost touch of daily life on Earth.
While their patrol cruiser was in dry dock for repair and resupply operations, Ace and Maria were granted shore leave. Now they were about to find out how much life had changed on Earth during their absence. Ace had a family obligation to visit his spoiled rotten niece; he would rather fight a hundred lizards instead.
***
“I didn’t know that you had a niece.” Maria was surprised. Lieutenant Maria Rodriquez was wearing her space dress uniform. She sported it well which earned her extra looks and drew nods of approval from the gentlemen on board her bus. One poor man that glanced at her too long too long received a whack from his wife.
The patrol couple was on their way to visit his brother as they rode a crowded forty-passenger bus in downtown Denver during the winter. They had been in outer space so long that they missed Earth’s simple pleasures of being under a big open sky, feeling the warm sun rays on their faces, breathing in fresh air, and walking on its surface with real gravity. This was a welcome escape from shipboard confinement of crammed spaces, recycled air, and artificial gravity. It felt good to be on Earth once again.
“You never asked,” Rango slyly replied. Captain Jason Rango was attired in a formal space uniform, which was standard Star Corps policy for shore leave. He was glad to escape for a few days from his command to spend some time with Maria. She was everything he dreamed of in a woman; attractive, smart, and fun to be with. Maria brought real meaning to his life and purpose to his heart.
Their bus drove past numerous charred, burnt, and pulverized buildings laying in ruin. Broken windows, shuttered store fronts, and missing roof tops were a common sight, as the two continued their conversation.
“What other dark and sinister family secrets are you keeping from me?” Maria winked and teased back.
Over their many adventures together, they had grown closer. For a while, they had harbored a secret shipboard romance from the crew. Finally, Rango proposed to her during an awkward moment when they both faced the possibility of a violent and horrible death. She was actually crazy enough to say “yes,” when her very future was highly doubtful.
Their weathered bus drove past a large recruiting bill board: “Join the Star Corps Now and Stop the Lizards.” On the sign was a picture of man and woman dressed in space battle gear. Underneath the picture was the quote, “They did their part. Do yours.”
“Let’s set a date,” Rango suggested. He was all business and considered marriage to be the next logical step. Rango came from a seafaring family. He remembered how his favorite uncle deeply regretted losing his true love. Being a deep sea fisherman, it was ironic that this uncle never made the Big Catch.
“If you want her, then go for it. Focus on your objective. Plot a course and set sail. Don’t let another friendly gentleman will snatch your prize.” His uncle’s words echoed in his mind, as Rango looked out the bus windows at the snow covered trees. It was nearing December, as Jack Frost painted icicles on the tree branches. Spring and summer weddings are always good.
“Don’t push it,” Maria gently resisted. “Good things take time in their own way.” For now, engagement was enough to her. She had no desire to rush into planning a wedding date. There was plenty of time for that. She remembered how her Mother deeply regretted marrying at such a young age and missing out on the whole courtship experience. Maria had taken her Mother’s advice to heart. She wanted to savor each moment and take things slow and easy. The enchantment of courtship can be a good thing.
“Why not?” Rango pressed. They were both in love and now she plays hard to get?
“Don’t go jumping the gun until I say I’m ready,” Maria said firmly.
“Excuse me. I thought you were ready?” Rango was confused. He thought it was a done deal.
“You don’t seem to understand,” Maria countered in a sweet soft voice. “When things are right, it will happen.”
Rango began to realize that he might never truly understand women. Just when you think you understand them, they shift directions on you, like the winds on the high sea. If life was about timing, then he felt out of synch.
Their dented bus came to a complete halt in front of a large Denver bus terminal. Since the Great Lizard War began, public transportation greatly increased as fuel for privately owned vehicles became scarce. America’s love affair with the automobile was put on hold. The bus doors hissed open, and everyone began to step off. An unfamiliar voice called out to Rango.
“Hi, Ace. Can I get your autograph?” A thin elderly gentleman eagerly asked, as he approached the couple. He was dressed in a tattered suit with sewn on patches and worn out shoes. The tired and hungry look on his face revealed a poor man that was simply down on his luck. He handed Rango a wrinkled newspaper with his photo on the front page. The newspaper headline read: “Ace Rango Does it Again.” With each new lizard kill, Rango’s celebrity status grew.
“Sure. Who do I make it out to?” Rango took a pen out of his uniform pocket.
“Make it out to Mark Cunningham,” the senior man happily replied. “I’ve been following all your exploits, Captain. Truly amazing lizard kills. You’re the best. You’ve been an inspiration to all of us. I use to serve in the Star Corps, before they threw me out for a bum leg. I can’t go blaming them. I wasn’t much use to them after the lizards shot me up so badly. You keep up the fine work you’re doing. Continue to make us proud.” He patted Rango on the back.
“To Mark it is,” Rango smiled and signed the winkled newspaper with a personalized message. “To a special Star Corps brother in arms. Signed, Ace Rango.”
“Give the lizards hell, Ace.” The old man proudly urged, as Rango handed him an autographed newspaper with a crisp twenty-dollar bill attached. “God bless you, sir.” He gave Rango a snappy salute. “It’s been a long time since I saluted and wore a uniform.” He smiled. “It sure feels good to do that again. It’s just like the old times.” He paused to wipe a tear from his eye. “I miss the service. Thanks again.” He stuffed the money in his coat pocket, tucked the newspaper securely under his arm, and walked off whistling. Lady Luck was smiling on him. Ace’s signature would gain him enough money to live good for a while through the cold Denver winter.
“You did the right thing, back there. But don’t let your Good Samaritan deed all go to your head, Skipper.” Maria gently punched him in the arm.
“Don’t call me skipper. I’m your fiancé now,” Rango shot back.
“As long as I’m in uniform, you’re my Skipper,” Maria teased back. “Got it, Skipper?”
“Of course, Lieutenant, if you want to play it that way,” Rango retorted.
“Yes, Sir.” Maria saluted him, grabbed him in her arms, and gave him a big long passionate kiss. People started clapping. Their big kiss in public drew unwanted attention to the couple. Nearby men, women, and children stopped to take in the moment. It was as though they were being treated to free live Broadway performance.
“Stop that. This is the first time you’ve saluted me, called me Sir, and kissed me in public.” Rango was embarrassed. Was he being ambushed? On the bus she was standing up to him, now she had changed direction like the wind. What triggered this? Was it his generosity to the old man?
“You’re my commanding officer, remember?” Maria gave her sweetest peaches and cream smile. That was the type of smile that drew out the best in Rango. “There’s a first time for everything.”
A police officer came around the corner and assessed the situation. “There’s nothing here to see folks.” He waved his billy club to the watching audience. “Please move about your business folks. There’s nothing more to see around here.” He winked at Rango. “Sorry, sir. I hope these fine folks aren’t disturbing you. It’s just that it’s not every day they see two Star Corps officers kissing in public.” He smiled.
“Of course, Officer, please excuse us.” Rango was a little embarrassed at the unwanted public attention.
”I’m just glad to do my part. I really appreciate the great things you Star Corps folks do for us.” The police officer tipped his hat. “Keeping Earth free from those lizards is a big job indeed.”
“Where can I get a decent taxi cab around here, officer?” Rango inquired as he looked around.
“A cab? You and the pretty lady wait here a second.” The police officer nodded then walked off.
Minutes later, a weathered yellow cab with peeled off paint, windshield cracks, and numerous dents and scrapes on its body pulled in front of the Star Corps couple. It looked like it had come out of a war zone and was ready for the scrap heap. “Did you folks call for a cab?” A husky and unshaven taxi driver yelled out.
“We did.” Rango replied as he opened the rear cab door to let Maria in. They seated themselves inside the rear of the cab. The cramped backseat provided the perfect opportunity for the two lovebirds to huddle closer together. They looked into each other’s eyes and were lost in a valley of wonder and rapture.
“Where to, Pal?” The taxi driver asked breaking their trance. He flipped a red handle which started a fare meter started ticking. Rango reached into his coat pocket and handed him a written address to his brother Ray’s house. “Aurora? Yeah, not a problem.” As cab sped off, the driver looked back at Rango. He stared, and did a double take. “Say, I recognize your face. You’re Ace Rango, the lizard killer. Sure, Ace, great job you’re doing up there. My wife won’t believe me when I tell her my cab was graced by the likes of Earth’s number one space ace. He glanced back at Rango. “I guess folks tell you this all the time? Am I right? I never had a celebrity ride in my cab. I guess I can change more for a ride now. Right?” He laughed adjusting his rearview mirror. “Ace Rango was here, yes, sir.”
The cab driver read Rango’s annoyed face as a signal to change the subject. “A lizard ship crashed in Aurora last week. I was there when it happened. I got my first good look at them lizards, really close up. He paused to reflect. “The Army came over and captured them on the spot and had them arrested. Yes, sir, they did.” He laughed. “Thanks to you Star Corps folks, they rarely attack us anymore. It’s not like the bad old days anymore. You help keep the skies safe for us.”
Rango and Maria stared out the windows, as their cab raced down the cold Denver streets. The diabolic work of the lizards was such a sorry sight to see. The side streets were still littered with smashed cars, twisted metal, broken chucks of concrete, and over turned power poles. During their initial invasion, the lizards had ravished much of the Earth with major cities taking on direct hits. It was only after Star Corps was created that the Earthmen were able to repel the invaders. Rebuilding and recovery was a long and slow process.
The taxicab drove past more signs of a post lizard invasion. Large rotating radar dishes could be observed, mounted high up on key buildings throughout the city. Sonic gun emplacements were also scattered strategically about the city along with giant searchlights. Maria saw signs posted along the route, pointing the direction to the nearest public air raid shelter location. Rango spotted some soldiers on lookout towers scanning the sky with their binoculars, looking for traces of potential lizard infiltrators. Lizard commandos were occasionally dropped behind enemy lines for intelligence gathering. Earth’s defenses were far from perfect.
The taxicab pulled into a military checkpoint. A long yellow-striped pole in front of the cab blocked further access. They were warmly welcomed by five soldiers who immediately surrounded the taxicab with rifles pointed at the passengers. Rango thought the soldiers looked awfully young and nervous. They acted like new recruits spending their first day on the job. Maria was nervous, thinking that one of them might accidently discharge a round. Finally, someone in charge stepped forward. “Papers please” the guard demanded, as he peered into the cab. “State your business please.”
The taxi driver rolled his window down. “I got Ace Rango with me here. He’s all the papers I need.” He boldly pointed to Rango and Maria behind him. “Ace wants to visit his brother. You guys have a problem with that?” Rango rolled the window down and smiled. All five faces broke into friendly smiles, as they recognized Rango.
“Ace Rango. It’s really you in the flesh.” The sergeant of the guard immediately rendered Captain Rango a snappy salute. “Allow them pass through. Sorry, Sir, for the inconvenience. Keep up the great job, Sir.” “What did I tell you boys? You never know who’s going to show up at our checkpoint. So, keep your eyes peeled and always look you best. Private Larson, check your uniform. You look like crap. Private Henderson, I saw how you looked at that female officer in the cab. I’ll have none of that behavior here. I’ll have no complaints about check point 17. Do you boys hear?” “Yes, Sergeant,” came the response in unison as they quickly lifted the gate and allowed the cab to speed through.
The taxicab drove past the remains of an old lizard food processing plant. Now, it laid in decay and ruin. Years ago, these huge plants existed all over captured territory on Earth. The lizards once used these abandoned structures to herd in captured humans for massive food processing. Humans were efficiently slaughtered, processed, packaged, and shipped off to a faraway lizard world for interstellar consumption. These lizard food plants were like Nazi concentration camps but were far much worse. The lizards showed no compassion and mercy to their captives. There were unspeakable evils committed in these death plants. Finally, Earth rebel groups rose up to knock them out and burn them to the ground. Rango shuddered to think about it. Those were horrible times indeed.
“Can you drive by the lizard ship crash site?” Rango asked. The driver nodded and took a detour to the wreckage location. Rango had the cab driver wait while he surveyed the scene before him. The lizard ship had crashed on top of an elementary school. Looking through the burnt out remains, Rango observed a lizard ship with a newer design that was sleeker, faster, and better built. He had not yet faced this new version in combat. This would mean a very long protracted war ahead. “I’ve seen enough, driver.” Rango climbed back into the cab. “Let’s go to my brother’s house.”
The night had chased away the day and painted stars in the sky. The taxicab plowed through the snow covered streets and eventually came to a screeching halt in front of Rango’s brother house. He hit a red lever which turned the meter off. “Thanks for the big tip, Ace. Happy hunting.” The driver flashed a big grin, then sped off into the night. His cab had left a long trail of gray smoke to linger for a moment in the cold Denver air.
“Here we are.” Rango winked at Maria, then gave a hardy knock on a door of a large, two story brick house. The dwelling badly needed major repair, but that was probably the least of his brother’s concerns. Everyday life on Earth was a struggle to exist. Like so many of the houses in the neighborhood, seeing a building in despair was considered the norm. The planet wide devastation inflicted by the lizard invasion created a shortage of building materials. The couple glanced at the worn out cars parked along the street. At a closer look, they were actually abandoned and sadly left to rust away.
A heavyset man in his forties appeared at the doorway. The weathered look on his face revealed many years of worry and concern that had taken its toll. He belted out a huge smile and hugged Rango. “It’s good to see you again, Brother.