11.
We all woke up late this morning and after a hearty breakfast consisting of croissants, white beans in tomato sauce and baked sausages, the three of us go upstairs to the attic to check the online newspaper reports. We take the strong coffee with us for support. Because of Diedie’s mojo to protect our minds I feel exhausted again, despite the hours of sleep I’ve had.
Last night Jabar already heard from Ben the devil brought the money back indeed. The newspaper article reported that the store owners were surprised, but nonetheless relieved, when they noticed their tills were refilled. So they assumed someone took away the stuff with the intention to pay for them later on.
It promises to be a fine day and we immediately feel it when we reach the attic. The attic floor feels like a sauna, just as hot and dry. I open the little attic windows and beg Jabar to purchase an air conditioning.
‘I can’t train this way,’ I put on top of it. ‘I’m sweating already!’
‘I’ll order one today, okay?’
I puff the answer and take a seat in front of one of the computers next to him and Diedie. Jabar goes through the different news sites until I shout: ‘Wait, over there! Go down.’
The article’s heading reads: Double suicide in Antwerp.
Jabar studiously looks at me.
‘Far-fetched, I know, but that guy had an Antwerp accent,’ I say and start to read.
This morning two men were standing, probably around four a.m., on the roof of their apartment and jumped off. The police found a note beneath a stone in two different handwritings that resembled those of the jumpers. The letter told they weren’t able to see their way out, had too much financial and personal problems and saw death as their only solution. The jumpers were identified as the brothers Edward and Joseph Moon.
‘Bingo!’ I clasp my hands.
‘But suicide?’ Diedie says shocked.
‘Would Selena have pushed them?’ I put forward.
‘What about the note?’ Jabar says.
‘She could have forced them to write it. Under hypnosis.’
‘No.’ Diedie shakes her head. ‘Vampires can only use their hypnosis techniques to seduce, to make their victims defenseless against a bite. Not to make them write a letter and certainly not to make them jump off a high apartment.’
‘Highly strange,’ Jabar concludes.
‘Wait a second. Maybe she works together with a devil.’ I look expectantly at them. ‘A devil can easily have forced them through manipulation to write that letter and to let them jump, can’t he?’
‘That’s a possibility. He could even have assigned them to do so beforehand and he didn’t need to be on the spot.’ Jabar approvingly nods and I can feel myself swelling with pride.
‘So that means she doesn’t work alone,’ Diedie thinks.
‘We already knew that. It could even be that her client is that devil, the one who’s behind all of this,’ I say and take a sip from my coffee. ‘It would explain a lot.’
‘But then we still don’t know why and what she’s planning to do with the book. And why that Selena looked up Manon in New York,’ Diedie says.
‘It’s as if the cat is playing with the mouse,’ I say, pondering about it. ‘And in that case I’d rather not be the mouse.’
‘Is the mouse ready for training?’
‘Definitely. I urgently need to let off steam.’ I empty my cup of coffee.
‘Meditation first.’
I pull a face. ‘Ugh no, please no.’
‘You know the zazen-meditation is an essential part of martial arts, Manon. You need to…’
I complete his sentence: ‘Clear your mind of unimportant thoughts to become one with the world and to react instinctive instead of using your rational side.’
Jabar nods, satisfied. ‘You know the theory, now practice.’
I stand up sighing and walk towards the room on the attic we equipped for meditation space.
There’s a deep-pile, cream-colored carpet on the floor with some meditation pillows on it. Further on stands a Buddha statue that also serves as incense holder and a closet in which my jiujitsugi dress hangs up. I get dressed and tie the black belt tidy according to the strict rules around my white suit, which means with a reed knot. Afterwards I put my hair in a tail and light an incense stick, my favorite brand: Nag Champa.
Jabar comes in and takes a seat. He doesn’t wear a jiujitsugi, but white, linen trousers and a loose, white blouse. I take a seat in front of him on a meditation pillow, with my feet underneath the pillow and my hands folded in my lap.
‘Focus on your breathing today,’ Jabar says with his eyes closed.
I know the story, but I wait patiently.
‘Control of the breathing is very important in martial arts. Breathe from your belly, expand your belly as much as you can when breathing out. The more you practice on that, the sooner you lower your body’s center of gravity, which makes you stand more stable during a fight.’
‘Yes, Obiwan.’
‘Manon.’
I grin, although he doesn’t see it. ‘Sorry, I’ll try to do my best.’
I find meditation an annoying part of my fight training. I don’t have the patience for it, but I do realize it makes a positive contribution to your strength. It’s just that I don’t like to admit Jabar is right.
I close my eyes. Uninvited thoughts trickle in. One by one I put them aside and focus on my breathing. I once managed to breathe in and out only once in one minute. This is absolutely not as easy as it sounds and it brings you in an inner state of peace. After that I defeated Jabar for the first time during training.
For some time I can still smell the incense’s sweet scent until it totally disappears from my consciousness. The noises outside become faint, the world around me stops existing. Only the now and my slow breathing matter. My mind is as empty as a hollowed out eggshell and I lose my awareness of time.
‘What is the sound of the universe?’
I open my eyes and answer intuitively: ‘Black.’
‘Beautiful answer on the koan, Manon, you’re ready.’
‘For how long have we meditated?’
‘A good hour.’
‘Wow.’ I have the feeling only ten minutes have passed.
We walk via the computer room through a glazed door to the dojo, where I perform the standing bow. Calm and self-controlled, exactly how it should be.
‘What will we be practicing today?’ I ask.
‘The ability to react,’ Jabar answers. ‘The kime no kata, only the standing positions.’
‘Okay.’
‘Rei!’ Jabar says in a firm tone.
We greet each other.
The next hour we train intensively.
I don’t sweat easily, but the oppressing atmosphere and the continuous training, quickly make the beads trickle down my face. Jabar is a strict, but extremely good teacher that has been trained in Japan when he lived there, even before I came into his life.
Otherkinds namely move every so many years. Some, like the devils, angels, elves and vampires live at least for three hundred years. Because the government keeps all the details of each and every individual, every so many time the otherkinds get their documents forged or adopt the identity of a dead man. Often in a different country. After so many millenniums of moving it runs in our blood, as with the gypsies. And although witches and transformers only live a few years longer than the average human being, it’s also deeply rooted in us.
Jabar pays attention to the smallest wrong movement and keeps going on about the fact I have to use the strength from my belly and breathing out.
An hour without worries, without brooding and earthly worries.
Afterwards, when I’m standing under the hot shower, I feel extremely good and strong. The tiredness has completely disappeared. Let’s bring that bitch of a Selena on.
Before I leave for work, I try to read a little. Normally, John Vermeulen’s books can make me forget the world around me for hours, but not today. Being at a complete loss I go and clean my bedroom. After slaving away for one hour the room has never been so clean and fresh before.
Right on time I arrive at work in the afternoon. There are some customers already; some regular and a few German tourists.
Oded is wearing a flashy shirt again I’ve never seen before; red parrots and green palm trees.
Squeaky’s little nose sticks out of his breast pocket, sniffing for some sweets.
Oded has already got the Commodities Act-inspectors down on his neck several times for keeping a rat in the pub, although it’s in his breast pocket. But, as with most of those things, he doesn’t bother.
I give the rat a peanut and Oded a kiss. After that I go and clean the glasses in such a way it seems as if I want to grind them to sand.
Oded looks at me from the corners of his eyes. ‘Everything alright?’
I mumble an answer. The euphoric feeling I had after the fight training has unfortunately disappeared.
‘What?’
I absent-mindedly look up at him. ‘No, nothing. Got out of bed on the wrong side, that’s all.’
Although he and Jabar are close friends for many years I don’t know how much I can tell about the book. Oded looks at me with an expression that tells me he doesn’t believe a word I’ve just said, but he doesn’t go on about it.
He does smilingly put a hand on my arm and says: ‘That glass is clean now, I would think.’
‘Erm yes, sorry.’
‘You’d rather go home? Tuesday normally is a quiet day, I can handle it on my own.’
‘No, I need to take my mind off things.’
‘Alright then.’
‘But thanks.’
He winks and goes serving a customer.
I can’t help it, but I can’t look at the customers as plain customers anymore. I notice I’m observing them closely and try to catch conversations. When a man stares at me, I don’t think he wants to seduce me or have a drink, but that he’s a partner of Selena.
Fuck it, that bitch really confused me. If I ever see her again… My imagination plays a trick on me and treats me to a performance of the most horrible violence.
There aren’t any special incidents during the rest of the afternoon and I can’t catch someone on suspicious behavior. It’s as the calm before a storm and I can feel the bursting out of it won’t take too long anymore.
Around nine p.m. a familiar face walks into the pub. Yesterday’s handsome guy!
I take a quick look in the mirror behind the bar. Not really a good hair day, but it falls more elegantly than usual on my shoulders. For the first time I curse my crooked nose and average face.
When he walks towards the bar, my heart makes a little jump of joy. I almost drop the glass I’m holding in my hands.
Of course Oded also sees my face is all smiles and follows my look. The man takes a seat on a bar stool.
Oded grinningly says: ‘Well, that one is coming for more.’
‘For more whisky, he is. Don’t take something into your head.’
A gentle smiles curls about the man’s lips. Did he hear us? I hope he didn’t. Neither a human nor an otherkind could ever have heard us from that distance. Unless… could he be a vamp after all? I can feel my cheeks turning red immediately and turn around quickly.
‘Erm Oded, will you serve him?’
‘Why?’ His eyes twinkle mischievous.
‘I think he has heard us.’
‘Vampire?’
I shrug my shoulders. ‘Don’t know.’
‘You want me to read his mind?’
‘No, no, he would feel it immediately and then your eyes turn black.’
Oded walks towards the man and asks what he wants to drink. The answer comes out so softly I don’t understand. All of a sudden Oded beckons me. I reluctantly go towards him.
‘He only wants whisky you recommend.’
‘Oh well.’ I continue stuttering: ‘I mean, he knows more about it, you know.’ I point at Oded.
‘You’ve helped me that well yesterday I don’t want to tempt my luck,’ he says in a gentle tone.
My goodness, his voice sounds like warmed up honey, poured out on a velvet blanket. Something like that.
‘I’ll have a look.’ Relieved I turn around, facing the bottles.
It takes me longer than usual before I make my choice, in the meantime hoping my heart will slow down and I don’t come around like a bitch in heat anymore.
‘A Glenlivet this time.’ I put the glass in front of him.
‘What’s your name?’ He takes me by surprise with his question I initially stare at him as if he just asked me to marry him.
‘Your name?’ The left corner of his mouth curls up. ‘Not your PIN code.’
‘Oh, erm, Manon. Maxim.’ And there goes my heartbeat again!
He reaches his hand towards me over the bar. ‘Beautiful name. I’m Lucas Lee.’
Sigh. Could he have an even more beautiful name? Didn’t think so.
I’m so relieved when another customer beckons me, I almost trip over my own feet, but can just hold myself on the washbasin. I don’t dare to look at him, but I stake my beloved Citroën on it he has to repress his laughter right now. Stupid, stupid bungler you are, I heap abuse on myself.
During the rest of the evening I avoid as much as possible immediate contact with Lucas. I’ve never felt this way before by the agency of a man. Most of the time I can get a hold of myself, seen from the outside, but with him my biological system doesn’t seem to obey me anymore. I blush, am clumsy and get clammy hands.
I feel he’s keeping an eye on me. At the moments he doesn’t notice and I spy on him, he looks worried and absorbed in thought.
‘Manon, you’re admirer is calling you,’ Oded grins.
‘Yeah yeah.’
I walk as indifferent as I can towards him and studiously look at him.
‘Can I get the same again?’
‘Why didn’t you ask Oded to do so?’
‘He’s nowhere near as beautiful as you are and I don’t fancy men.’
‘Well, me neither,’ I blurt. What was I thinking? Of course I fancy men! I’m not averse to women either, but I don’t prefer them the most.
He grins and raises his eyebrows.
‘No, erm, that’s not what I meant. I mean I’m not really looking for a guy.’
Wrong again, Manon, you’d better shut up.
‘Oh?’ He looks me deep in the eyes. ‘Who says I’m looking for someone?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
Before I can make a fool of myself even more I grab the bottle of whisky and fill his glass. Too much of course.
‘Thanks.’
‘You’re welcome. I need to…’
I desperately look around looking for a waiting customer, but they have all been served.
‘You definitely need to go out with me,’ he adds.
Damn it, he certainly doesn’t beat about the bush.
‘I don’t need to do anything, except eating from time to time and enjoy an uninterrupted night.’
It sounds tough, but my knees are shaking. If they would have been built of metal, I could have played the xylophone with them.
‘Can I tell you something personal, please?’ He leans over the bar to me.
‘It depends.’
I want to hold still, but I can feel my feet moving closer to him.
‘I don’t want the entire pub to hear it.’
He beckons me with his forefinger.
Nah well, what could go wrong in a pub, right? I slowly move closer to him.
‘What?’
‘A bit closer.’
‘Okay.’
Did I just say ‘okay’? And do I lean completely to him now, so our faces almost touch?
He looks at me so intensely the entire environment disappears and I can only see his eyes, without body, as if they’re hanging in the air. They turn into a deep red color, but I don’t realize it. Not really. I smell his breathing; a mixture of mint and whisky. His body odor a sultry mix of clove and peeled oranges. It seems as if I’m out of my body, every sound is put out and I can only just hear his voice as soft as silk.
‘From the first time I saw you I wanted you so bad.’
I can hear myself say: ‘Than take me with you now. Please.’
His lips touch mine briefly.
‘Manon.’
I can hear it, but I can’t react to it.
‘Manon!’
It’s a different voice. Unimportant.
‘Just look at me, Manon.’ Lucas’s voice. Deliciously warm.
‘Manon!!!’
I seem to wake from a wild daydream and look around astonished. What has happened? Lucas sits on his bar stool and takes a sip from his glass. He doesn’t seem to notice me, but is just looking around.
‘For fuck’s sake! Manon!’
It’s Oded calling out to me with vehement gestures. I walk towards him. Dizzy.
‘What?’
‘Didn’t you notice?’
‘Notice what?’ I seems as if I’ve had a fucking snooze.
‘He’s definitely a bloodsucker now. He was fucking hypnotizing you!’
‘No, he didn’t.’
I look back, but Lucas has left the pub.
‘Yes, he did and you were already far gone. You only didn’t drool yet. It’s a miracle you even responded to my voice. Didn’t you see his goddamn eyes?’
‘Fuck!’ I cry out much too loud through which some customers startle. ‘If I see him again, I’ll kick his balls.’
‘Make sure you’re wearing shoes,’ Oded advises me. ‘With metal tips.’