25.
It’s getting dark and I feel miserable. I’m in the grasp of loneliness. Luckily I don’t feel fear anymore for a long time already, it would only paralyze me. Nevertheless, I’m more worried about Diedie, Jabar and Oded. They’ll be deadly worried about me and I can’t bare the thought of that. Diedie probably goes desperately crying and that hurts me more than the fact I’m caught in here. In the meantime Lucas probably came around. I wonder what kind of excuse Jabar gave him.
I already got off the cuffs and I finished the can of water. The dress is next to me on the bed, but I haven’t touched it with one finger yet.
Everything became such a mess! Little more than a week ago everything was still alright and I was nicely sitting in the Falcon and on my way to do my job. And now Oded has lost his pub, Jabar his Lexicon and I’m captive. But we’re all still alive and that’s what I lean on.
The door opens and Selena enters.
‘Noël asks you to put the dress on,’ she says.
‘Tell him to put on the dress himself. It wouldn’t look bad on him, the drag queen.’
‘Have it your way. As long as you don’t put on the dress, you won’t leave the room. I like that better, so, thank you.’
She turns around and walks out of the room.
‘I won’t put on the dress, you hear me!’ I yell at the door and hopefully at the hidden camera, although I can’t still figure out where it is.
I look straight ahead, sulking. Slowly my anger disappears and I realize that when I want to know more about that Noël and his illegal affairs I’ll have to leave the room. And if the only way to do so is to put on that dress… Well, alright, I’ll join in his game. At least for now.
I walk to the bathroom and notice they took away the protective covers from the drains. Well yeah, now they of course know I can’t transform into water or whatever with that stuff inside my body.
I decide to take a long bath and to let me soak. I want to wash off all of the psychological dirt from the contact with Selena, Ed and Noël.
The tub is quickly filled with warm water. I find a plastic bottle in a closet that, with opening it, smells lovely like vanilla. It surely wasn’t there when I looked in the closet for the first time. I see in the mirror that my cheek is quite red and swollen and a bruise, which feels fucking painful, has formed itself on the side of my face. My body starts to look like a coloring book by now.
I realize Noël will see me naked, but I can’t worry about it now. I’ve never been prudish, a body is a body. Besides I don’t know how long I’ll be caught in here and it’s impossible to never wash myself. He has already seen me naked when I took a shower this morning.
I let my dirty clothes drop on the floor and quickly get in the bath. The water is still too hot, but I let myself slide into it, fighting off the pain. I’m not going to parade for too long in my altogether in front of him. The foam reaches my chin and once my body adjusted itself to the temperature I can enjoy it.
With my eyes closed I go through the recent events. Noël hides a lot, I’m sure about that. It seems to be a self-made man with a psychotic side and that can only lead to hidden and dangerous affairs.
The cellar smelled hospitalish and thus is clearly kept clean and sterile. There were several rooms and I wonder what they’re keeping hidden in there. Actually the entire house feels unreal, as if it’s a set. The place where there’s really lived and worked is in the cellar. The fact that Noël’s office is located there is to me already a proof I’m right.
While I’m soaping my hair with foam I’m seeing Selena’s face again when she came to ask me to put on the dress. Looking back I would say that her look was jealous. Would she be in love with Noël? Well, yuck! He could be her gramps.
Besides, what is he planning to do with me? Why do I have to put on that haute couture dress? Doesn’t really fit the profile of a kidnapper that wants to blackmail, I think.
I’m afraid the house isn’t registered in Noël’s name and if so, Jabar will never find me. The escape will thus depend on me, but I doubt whether I’ll be creative enough to do so. However, I go with the flow, keep my eyes open and hope that somewhere an opportunity presents itself.
I wash out my hair carefully and then get out of the bath. While drying myself my thoughts go to Lucas. Would he have called me in the meantime? Is he thinking about me anyway? Despite that we don’t know each other for a long time yet, I have to admit I miss him.
I don’t have a clue about what time it is. I’m not wearing a watch and normally use my mobile phone to know the time. Looking at the light outside, it must be late in the afternoon.
The lingerie and the dress fit perfectly, as if they have been custom-made. Reluctantly I have to admit that Noël has chosen well and has an excellent taste, but don’t you think I’ll tell him. I put on the nylons carefully, which isn’t simple in my position. I rarely wear nylons because they are ripped within an hour with me. The stilettos also fit wonderfully well.
With my fingers I go through my wet hair and let them dry while loose. Then I go waiting on the bed. That’s all I can do for now. I try to transform again, but just like before it’s tough going and it stops with my underarms.
The waiting starts to annoy me. I get up and walk to the door on which I start to hammer with my fists. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really mean a lot, a three-year-old child has even more strength.
‘Let me out of this fucking room!’ I yell.
I hear something and stop. The door opens. Selena stands before me with a Beretta in her hands.
‘One wrong movement,’ she threatens.
I smile as sweet as I can. ‘And screw up the dress? Don’t think so.’
‘Walk before me.’ She gestures with the pistol in the direction of the hall.
In the passing I take a look at the two paintings that look so out of place here. I can feel my sadness increase visibly. I want to go home! To Jabar and Diedie! Pull yourself together, Manon, see it as an order, damn it.
With my chin in the air I descend the stair, planning to not let my homesickness and sadness show to Selena or whoever in this glazed house. The living room and kitchen look the same as before and we take the stair to the cellar.
I smell garlic and baked meat and it makes my mouth water. I just love to eat, a big weakness of me. While descending the stair BB King welcomes us with his fantastic music, by which the homesickness only grows. Jabar and Diedie namely listened often to BB.
I’m taken into Noël’s office. With a big smile he’s sitting at his desk, as if we’re having a date. The desk itself is covered with a white linen tablecloth, a candlestick with candles, crockery and filled wineglasses. Further on there’s a bottle of red wine and big bowls filled with potatoes, vegetables and a dish of baked roast beef. Everything, except the food of course, is made of plastic. Does he really think you can only hurt someone with glass?
‘Take a seat.’ Noël lights the candles and says: ‘Dip lights.’
Oh, so this is how he wants to do it. I’m curious and take a seat.
‘Is that everything?’ Selena keeps her face tightly into place, but I notice her subdued envy.
‘Yes. Lock the door behind you.’ Noël keeps looking at me while he answers.
Selena leaves the room and pulls the door shut just a bit too loud.
‘Châteauneuf du Pape,’ Noël says and raises his wineglass into the air.
I take my glass, but refuse to toast. The wine tastes deliciously aromatic.
‘What’s the meaning of all of this?’ I ask and put the glass down.
‘Just relax. And enjoy your meal.’
Noël fills our plates, gets from behind his desk and starts to cut the meat into pieces.
‘Say, I can do that myself!’ I say.
‘Sssh’ he shuts me up.
‘What…’
‘Can’t you wait for a minute? I like to cut the meat for you.’
I press my lips tightly together and let him even unfold my napkin and put it on my lap. He takes a seat and does the same with his napkin. With refined gestures he starts to eat and looks integrating at me.
‘Well, bon appétit,’ he says.
I eat a lot less refined than he does and gorge myself like a famished pig.
‘Can’t you do that a bit tidier?’ he asks with raised eyebrows.
My fork hangs between the plate and my mouth. The sauce drips off the piece of roast beef. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Didn’t Jabar teach you some good manners?’
‘I eat like I want to and if you’re having a problem with that, just don’t watch it.’
Noël sighs. ‘Make an effort. For me.’
I burst out laughing. ‘I’m not your wife and still. You don’t have anything to say to me.’
‘Not yet.’
‘Never! Skunk!’
He swallows down a piece of potato. ‘Now what did I tell you about terms of abuse?’
‘That you want to learn more of them?’
Noël sighs and shakes his head. ‘Oh, little girl. All of that will change.’
The way in which he says it gives me the creeps. I don’t think he ever says something without meaning it or without having a clear plan in mind. The food doesn’t taste good anymore, hungry or not. I put down my cutlery and take a big gulp of wine.
‘You drink wine like this, for which you pay at least one hundred Euros per bottle, with little nips,’ he says calmly as if he’s droning a lesson.
When will he stop with that patronized behavior?
‘It disappears in your stomach anyway, so what are you making such a fuss about?’
‘Let’s keep the conversation light-heartedly. What do you think about that?’
I shrug my shoulders and lean backwards in the leather chair.
‘Why is it you can’t stand Jabar?’ I ask.
‘You call that light-hearted?’
‘All things considered I do, yes.’
‘He took away the love of my life from me.’
‘Boohoohoo,’ I sneer. ‘How cliché.’
From one moment to the other he looks at me as if he wants to slit my throat. Oh, oh, I’ve gone too far. Careful, Manon.
‘Sorry,’ I mumble, not meaning it.
His facial expressions soften and he takes a bite from his meat.
‘Okay, just tell,’ I urge him. ‘I promise I won’t laugh anymore.’
I’m trying my best to look as serious as I can, which works well.
He sighs. ‘I’ll tell you because I want you to know what kind of person Jabar really is. And if you think I’m a monster, you’ll agree with me afterwards. I became this way because of him.’
I nod, but of course have my own ideas on it.
‘When I was thirty,’ he continues, ‘I lived in London. So that was thus in the sixties. I was a cheerful man with many ambitions, but didn’t have a clear direction in life. I enjoyed going out as much as I enjoyed working and I enjoyed the many women even more. I was a lady-killer and never had long-term relationships. Money was unimportant in the sense it disappeared just as quickly as I got it. Money needed to be spent, every day was one to live to the fullest and tomorrow didn’t exist. You don’t eat anymore?’
‘I’m full.’
‘You don’t say: I’m full. You say: I’ve had enough, thank you.’
I pull a face. ‘I’ve had enough.’ But refuse to add ‘thank you’.
‘Very good.’ He takes a bite and chews carefully. ‘My parents left me a not so unkind amount of money, but it was quickly used op on drugs, alcohol and the women. It was the time of the Beatles and the free sex and I have to admit that I’ve had my share of it. I worked in banking and thus earned a lot. But everything knows an end of course.’
I find it very hard to imagine Noël as an unleashed hippy. He takes a nip from his wine and I do the same. BB King still fills the room and I start to feel drowsy.
‘Actually that wasn’t so bad, because I got dragged too much in the decadent life of London back then. I threatened to collapse and met Morgan Tahon right on time.
Noël’s look gets something dreamy when he calls her name. He looks into the distance as if she’s standing before him and then there’s a sad haze around him.
‘Jabar’s sister?’ I ask to wake him.
He looks at me as if I’m only just sitting there. ‘Yes, Jabar’s sister. The love of my life.’
I know Jabar once lived in London, so now I understand how those two met each other.
‘She was a volatile beauty, unreal. She rose above every other woman through her finesse and elegance. And not only that. I was under the spell of her soft voice, she stunned me with her sweet scent. It was as if I was standing in a sea of flowers when I was with her. When she touched me, I forgot that I existed. She could join in any conversation and never raised her voice.’
Again a desperate look appears in his eyes. Noël pushes his plate away from him and pushes a button that is attached in the desk. Selena immediately enters. With a motion of his hand he gestures her to clean the desk. She doesn’t look at me, but I’m sure she’d rather shove the plastic cutlery through my throat. It must be humiliating for her to clean my mess, but she does it anyway. The quick glances she throws at Noël make indeed clear she’s feeling more for him than mere respect or friendship.
Noël doesn’t say a word until Selena leaves with everything, except for the wine. Luckily, because I can still use some more to get through this little trip throughout the past.
‘So she was perfect,’ I say. Pff, isn’t everyone in the beginning?
Noël nods. ‘We had a fantastic time together, although it only lasted for a few weeks. I thought it was odd I couldn’t meet her parents or brother, but I didn’t mind. As long as she was with me.’
‘But that didn’t last.’ And I can already guess why.
He gets a fierce glow in his eyes when he says: ‘No, indeed! And not because we didn’t love each other. We were mad about each other, made love as if we couldn’t get enough of each other, laughed and talked. We were happy!’ That last one comes out very hard.
After fifty years he still loves her and he apparently didn’t forget her, that message is clear.
‘Jabar intervened?’ I suggest, because it seems logical to me.
‘Yes, he intervened. One day he looked out for me at my place. I’ve never had seen him before and thought he came to introduce himself as Morgan’s brother. He pushed off immediately. I couldn’t see Morgan anymore. The family would never approve of it, he assured me in a cool tone. Morgan left abroad and I would never know where. Just like that, from one day to the other, my world fell apart. Jabar left me broken and heavily depressed. I’ve locked and neglected myself inside for months afterwards. I lived between the dirt, scarcely ate, drank buckets of alcohol and smoked like a chimney. I excluded friends and when they were at my door, I didn’t open. I was going under so badly I was able to smell hell and touch it with my fingertips.’
I can’t help to feel a little bit of sympathy for him. I know, he doesn’t deserve it, but sometimes I’m a real romantic. I wonder whether Jabar will intervene between Lucas and me. Would he also forbid our relationship? And even then! I won’t allow that! I already know now I feel more for Lucas than just lust and I won’t allow Jabar to meddle with it. Besides, I hope Lucas won’t let him chase away that easily.
Noël goes on. ‘One day I decided it had been enough. I showered and put on new clothes. What led to that change was the finding back of a picture of Morgan. She looked right into the lens and it was as if at that moment she, lying on a moldy mattress, looked at me and reprimanded me. There was so much love in that picture, love and compassion. I realized at that moment that if I ever wanted to have her back, I needed to undertake action. For the first in a very long time I walked outside. I still remember it was a cloudy day, but the light troubled me. My eyes got used to the dark. Already after a few steps my muscles started to protest. I was completely run-down. With my last strength I went to a supermarket and stock up all the necessary. I returned to the house and the weeks after I slowly built everything up. Room by room I cleaned the house. Of course I’d lost my job in the meantime and my friends had given up on me. That was fine with me. I wanted to wipe the state clean and was determined to find Morgan. But not before I got rich. Filthy rich, so rich I couldn’t spend the money in my entire life.’
‘You hoped to be good enough for Morgan that way?’
Noël nods and refills our glasses. I’m quite tipsy already, but the wine is too good to leave it.
‘I was then still thinking Jabar had given me the true reason, namely that I was too poor to marry his sister. I didn’t know it was a lie. It didn’t matter how much money I would have. Whatever I would do, I could never become her husband.’
‘Because you’re not an elf. So, what are you? Human?’ I try.
He ignores my question and muses on. ‘Of course I didn’t know that back then. That Morgan was an elf and that otherkinds existed. I didn’t know either that different kinds can’t mutually propagate. And a human and an otherkind surely not.’
‘That’s the way it is, you know.’ I need to give up the wine before I give him a hug out of pity.
‘Yes yes, I do know that. But then Jabar could have explained it to me.’
‘That’s out of the…’
‘I know you need to be kept secret and I understand. But I’m sure Morgan wanted to marry me, despite the fact that I’m not an elf. It didn’t matter to her, I could see it in her eyes and I could feel it in her touches. We would have stayed childless, that’s certain, but it would have been our choice and be happy. Not all couples need to have children.’
I can’t add anything to that, so I nod.
‘We really would have been happy,’ he emphasizes again.
‘If she really loved you, she would have opposed her brother, wouldn’t she?”
“No!’ Noël looks ice-cold at me. ‘She really loved me. Jabar must have convinced her one way or another.’
‘When did you discover otherkinds existed?’ I ask quickly, trying not to affect his temper even more.
It doesn’t seem my question hit him when he goes on. ‘Jabar had my age in London. At least, he looked that way. And since Morgan claimed to be twenty-six, Jabar couldn’t differ that much in age. The day I regained life again, I decided to follow Jabar and study him. He would once lead me to his sister, I was sure about that. I looked up everything I could find about him, which wasn’t much because he fairly stayed out of the public life. I did discover that he and his sister had properties that were spread all over the entire world. But I’m wandering. You already know how rich Jabar is.’
The music stops and Noël says: ‘Play CD two.’
‘Have you become as rich as him?’ I ask.
Noël smiles and sounds less demonic than before, but that could also be because of the wine.
‘Not at all. I’m rich, extremely rich. Nevertheless, I’m not yet reaching the amount he has on his accounts.’
‘You haven’t told about how you discovered us yet.’
‘You’re interrogating me, but that doesn’t matter.’ He grins and for a second his falsity resurfaces. ‘I lost him out of sight for a while, but through private detectives I tracked him down again in Belgium. Meanwhile, you came into sight, an extremely cute baby I have to say.’
‘Thank you.’ I blurt it out before I know it.
‘I saw, as years passed by, that Jabar didn’t age much. Easily two or three times slower than I did. I found it strange, but it could have been a coincidence. I never saw Morgan. I suspect he visited his sister, but that she never visited him in Belgium. Nevertheless, I kept hoping and kept an eye on Jabar. He often left in his private jet to other countries, which wasn’t much of a surprise, since he owned many properties everywhere. But one day I noticed something or better said, the detective that kept an eye on the house in Jabbeke, noticed something special.’
Noël looks pleased at me, clearly being as pleased as Punch because of his discovery.
He continues: ‘I think you were fourteen years old then, and you transformed in the garden into a little weeping willow. It still didn’t look realistic, but the pictures didn’t lie. Ten years ago, photo manipulation was of course already possible, but not as easily as it is now. Besides, the detective was beside himself. He was definitely speaking the truth, was too shocked and nervous to make something up like that. I quickly took it for the truth and killed the man.’
I have to look quite shocked at that moment, because he says: ‘It was necessary to protect your kinds, I hope you’re able to see that.’
I nod in order not to offend him, just now that he’s so chatty and reasonable. Nevertheless, my suspicion is that he didn’t want to share the secret with anyone and hoped that it would come in handy to play a nasty trick on Jabar. Which turns out to be.
‘From then on I kept an eye on you myself as much as I could. In the meantime I had a great financial scope and enough assistance to look after my affairs.’
And plenty of time for his personal obsession goes through my head.
‘I saw you transform a few times and discovered that Diedie was more than an average woman.’ Noël smiles. ‘And the icing on the cake. Oh, besides, you want dessert?’
I shake my head.
‘Well, we do have delicious chocolate mousse.’
‘No, thank you.’
‘Well alright, so the icing on the cake. Jabar often got his Lexicon out of a safe and I saw him making notes in it. Of course I didn’t know what it was, but I did know it had to be a special book. I had already heard several conversations between you two about otherkinds, your trainings, the orders you would get. All extremely interesting. Then the need to be surrounded by otherkinds grew.’
Noël pauses for a while. He takes a nip from his wine and I follow his example. Just getting drunk then.
‘Surely,’ he continues, ‘if I wanted to be strong. Only money wouldn’t be enough to embitter Jabar’s life after he had ruined mine.’
‘How did you came to them?’ I ask, referring to Selena, Ed and the transformer that posed as me. I’m actually wondering where that last one is. I think I haven’t met him yet.
‘Through the list I found on your computer of course. It’s true there were only names and addresses listed on it, but I could already guess it wasn’t a list of normal people. Believe me, if you have the necessary money, then even otherkinds can be persuaded to submit to someone.’
Otherkinds of the lowest kind, yes.
‘A few years ago I was completely ready for it. I wanted to execute my plan before you were strong enough to fulfill your orders. Nevertheless, my body had other plans with me. My heart became so weak and irregular I needed a heart transplantation. That gave you a few years of delay. But now I’m back.’
With a shock I realize he will never let me go, at least not alive. Not a single criminal tells so much without the certainty that the victim won’t pass it on. That much I have learned from movies and books. Does he only want to keep me here to pester Jabar? I suspect there’s more to it than meets the eye.
‘I’m tired,’ he then says. ‘My age is telling him alright. Good night, Manon.’
He turns around in his chair and lets the television screens turn on. On one of them I see our garden in Jabbeke and I hold my breath frightened.
‘Diedie really hasn’t discovered all of them,’ he says with his back towards me. ‘Now go.’
Not steady on my feet I stand up, not only because of the wine, but also because I’m seeing the image of home. The garden is dark and the lights burn cozily inside. My heart pinches and I can feel the tears coming. Quickly, before I see one of my inmates and feel even more miserable, I turn around and walk out of the room.
Selena is awaiting me with her little friend, the Beretta. First I wonder how she knows, but then I remember she’s a vamp with an excellent hearing. She has probably followed the entire conversation.
She guides me to my room.
‘Don’t you think it’s bad what he said about you?’ I ask.
If Noël tries to stir between Jabar and me, I can also do it between Noël and Selena.
‘What?’ she grumbles, but I hear in her voice she very well knows what I’m talking about.
‘Well, that you were easily submitted to his will, only because he had the necessary money.’
‘You think you’re so good, aren’t you, that everything in life can be divided into black and white. That everyone is born rich.’ She pushes me violently up the stair to the first floor. ‘You really don’t know me.’
I look at her and discover in just a second another person. For a second I think I see feelings of guilt with her, but it disappeared so quickly because of her cool look, that I can easily have imagined it.
‘Than why do you work for him? He’s a murderer.’
We arrived at my room. She ignores my question, opens the door and violently pushes me inside.
‘Sweet dreams,’ she says before she slams the door shut.