Ron sank into the first class seat with a heavy groan. The months after the movie’s release had been a constant round of travel and interviews. He and the gang escaped as often as possible to the Garcia family’s restaurant, the one place they could be guaranteed a break from the scrutiny. They laughed and joked with Raûl and his parents and spent happy relaxing hours listening to him and his sister as they translated their grandmother’s stories, most of them about Em's rescue of their family.
The movie he was working on now was partially completed and he was flying to yet another location shoot. He looked forward to time alone in the four days before the cast and crew arrived. This break was a concession to his celebrity status. He was a Hollywood megastar now—offered his pick of roles—a status that he would never have had if not for Em. A status that was every actor’s dream and one that, for better or worse, he loved.
He closed his eyes and sighed again. It was a little over three months since he had been with Em. He assuaged his loneliness with his memories, reliving every detail of their time together. He missed the questions, the discussions, even the arguments. He missed her smile, her frown, her laugh, her face, her body. He felt the familiar erotic ache as his body responded to those mental images.
He had become compulsive. Hell, he’d been compulsive from the first time he saw her on TV, searching for every possible detail about her.
He could hear her voice now as he replayed their last conversation word for word. He had asked what the future held for them.
“I don’t think we can see each other again.”
“But Em—”
“No.” She placed two fingers over his lips. “This time was special, just for us, but it cannot happen again. It was a gift.”
“Em, I can’t go back.”
“You can go back and you will. You have two wonderful kids, Gram, and a new relationship developing with Rita. You can’t give any of that up. I won’t let you.”
“And you?”
“Ron, it will be okay. Trust me.” And she was gone.
Ron sighed again. If he had an eternity to love her, it might be enough. You will have, a deep soothing voice reverberated in his ears. He laughed mirthlessly. God, now his head was playing games with him. Shit, he’d never survive at this rate.
Em had been right—partly. He had gone home to Gram and the kids. What Em didn’t know was that he had already broken up with Rita.
Rita hadn’t given up easily. She invited him out or to her place for dinner, including Gram and the children, making it difficult for him to refuse. There was no sex, but Rita professed understanding. After all, she was a fellow actor, she knew the strains of the creative process and intense publicity.
She met him in Allan’s office, unannounced, and asked to take him for coffee. “You don’t have to explain,” she said. “I understand perfectly. I was good enough for you before, but now that you’re Mr. Big Shot, hobnobbing with Miracle Madame, no less, I’m chopped liver.”
Ron said nothing. Any explanation would sound feeble and only make her angrier.
His silence angered her too. “You fucking asshole!”
“Rita, please.”
“Stuff it up your ass, Ron. I ought to—” She stopped, interrupted by Jamie who had spotted them at the corner table and come over to say hi. Rita brushed past Jamie, causing her to lose her balance.
Ron reached out to steady Jamie and pull out a chair for her. “I’m sorry you had to see that,”
“No need for apology, Ron, but what was that all about?” Jamie glared at the retreating figure.
“I broke up with her several months ago.”
“I thought you were still seeing her.”
“Only when she’d invite Gram and the kids too. I thought by going I was being kind, but that was a huge mistake. She’s not taking it well.”
“No shit! Good riddance. Forget her.” Jamie grinned wickedly. “Tell me about your new movie.” Ron was thankful for the distraction.
Gram, Tia, and Brad surrounded Ron at the airport the next day, bestowing hugs and kisses. “Jeez, what’s she doing here?” The resentment in Brad’s voice startled Ron as he looked up to see Rita approaching.
“Oh, hell,” Tia grumbled under her breath, dragging Gram and Brad away.
Rita stood before him, studied him at length, and then reached out to hug him. Ron stood stiffly, hands at his sides. Rita ignored his lack of response and said simply, “Come back to me Ron.”
“Rita, it’s over. It has been for a long time.” She shook her head, turned, and walked away without looking back.
“I thought you broke up with her. What did she want?” There was an edge in Tia’s voice that he’d never heard before.
“She still wants to be with me.”
“You’re not going back to her, are you Dad?” Brad sounded scared.
“No. But I thought you liked her.” He looked from Tia to Brad with an eyebrow raised. They shook their heads.
“She was really rude to Gram at the basketball game,” Brad said. A slight shrug of Gram’s shoulders told him all he needed to know.
“Good God, why didn’t you say something?”
“It really wasn’t any of our business,” Gram said.
“Besides, we thought you were happy with her,” Brad said.
“You should have said something.”
“Dad, we couldn’t. Brad and I are growing up. We’ll be gone soon. We thought you liked Rita and we didn’t want you to end up alone.”
Ron looked at his kids in amazement, and then gathered them both in a huge bear hug. “When did you get so wise?”
“Must have had some reasonably decent parenting.” Tia grinned and winked at Gram. Ron felt his eyes water as he looked over their heads to Gram. She looked near tears too. He reached out to gather her into the family embrace.
“Or, maybe we’re just the coolest kids in the world,” Brad said.
*
Longing? So that’s what this sensation is called. I’d been feeling it for an eon without knowing what it was. And those images of Em in Ron’s head—I felt myself responding just as he did. “Damn, this is so hard.”
“What’s so hard?” Mentor tilted her head slightly with a puzzled frown.
“Everything!” I waved my hand and Earth spun in the air before us. Spun faster and faster and faster as if all my worries could fly away with the centrifugal force.
Mentor snapped her fingers and Earth fell back into its orbit. “What are you trying to do? Destroy the whole planet?”
I hung my head. No, not the whole planet. Just one man. The one you sent her. Yes, I’ve finally figured that out. I was sure I was right. Mentor had given Ron and Em the connection, the passion, the love. She’d given Ron everything that should have been mine and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it—except suffer as I watched them.
And that voice reverberating in Ron’s head? Mentor making promises to Ron, using my voice. I raged and paced and… Well, it doesn’t really matter how I behaved, doesn’t change the story one bit. Mentor had undoubtedly made all kinds of promises to Em that I wasn’t privy to.
I glanced up in time to see Mentor smirk before she turned and sauntered away humming a tune.
*
“Excuse me. I think that’s my seat.”
Ron glanced up to see Em standing in the aisle. He muttered and squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing them wearily with his knuckles. “Shit, I have to snap out of this or I’ll be a fucking basket case.”
“Excuse me.”
He opened his eyes again. He stared. Abruptly, he reached up and pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her and ran his hands all over her. Trying to convince himself she was really there. Em giggled, and kissed his forehead. “Ron, I really do need to get to my seat. We’ll be taking off soon.” She scrambled off his lap into the window seat.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I thought we could spend the next four days together.” She ogled him suggestively. “If that’s okay with you?” She peered at him from under her eyelashes.
“Okay? God, do you have no idea?” Ron’s grip on her hand tightened. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
“I know. Ron, I’m sorry. I couldn’t stay away.”
“For Christ’s sake, Em, don’t be sorry.”
“You can’t imagine how badly I need to be with you.”
“Oh yes, I can. Do you have any idea how glad I am to see you? Glad? Hell Em, that’s such an inadequate word to describe how I feel.”
“But I thought by coming back I’d just be making it more difficult for you?”
“No.”
“Ron, be honest. Was it really awful for you after I left? I was so worried, but I had no choice. I had to go. And I never wanted our love to….”
“To what?”
“This sounds stupid. But, I never wanted what we have to interfere with your life, to spoil other opportunities. It’s not supposed to.”
“Em, there are no other opportunities. There is only you.”
“But Powers said,” she wailed.
Ron groaned. “The goddamn powers again. I never understand what the hell you mean when you talk about the powers.”
Em frowned and bit her bottom lip. “I'm not sure if I really have to keep so much a secret? The voice didn't say one way or the other.” She brightened. “I know. I’ll ask them next time.”
“Em, slow down. What on earth are you talking about?”
“What happened after I left? Was it really bad?”
“Yes.”
“Oh God,” she moaned. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. Something you said helps. You talked about two halves to your life; your regular life and your life as Em. I realized that I could think of my life in the same way; my regular life and my life with you. If I keep the two separate, I can live in each and not feel I’m betraying you.”
“Or Rita.”
“She’s no longer part of the picture.”
“What?”
“I broke up with her right after I met you.”
“Damn it, Ron. That wasn’t supposed to happen. I have to go.” Em undid her seat belt and started to rise.
“No!” Ron gripped her arm. The word was a plea and command at the same time.
“But—”
“You don’t understand. I would have broken up with her eventually anyway.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“It’s the truth, Em. Honest.”
Em studied him intently. “I believe you,” she said and he sagged with relief. “Can you live with the limited time we have and the secrecy?”
“Yes.” Did she know he was lying?
*
I was learning that’s what lovers did. Lied to each other. Would I lie to her too?
*
“Okay then. Where shall we go?”
“Someplace neither of us has ever been so we can explore together.”
This flight was taking them to Rome. They decided on the Greek islands, a short hop away, as they fastened their seat-belts.
As soon as possible after takeoff Ron reclined his seat and pulled Em to him. Suited her just fine. She longed to feel the length of his body pressed to hers. She sighed contentedly and slipped her hand inside his shirt hugging his waist. There were only three other people in first class and the cabin lights had dimmed. Ron had enclosed them in a cocoon of privacy with a blanket.
Em shifted to a more comfortable position pressing against him. Her hand brushed his erection. She undid his belt and zipper and reached lower. “Okay, now my panties are wet,” she whispered in his ear and disappeared under the blanket.
*
What she did then, on that airplane, with him, was beyond belief. Ron gripped the armrest with one hand and tangled the fingers of the other in her hair. He gasped and closed his eyes tightly, grinding his teeth together to stifle the moans of pleasure. He came with a sudden fierce burst of passion. He shuddered and shifted both his hands to hug her, his hold tightening on her convulsively.
I had closed my eyes, but couldn’t shut out the sounds, or the feelings.
*
Ron floated on clouds of contentment as they walked to the beach hand in hand. He thought he could feel Em’s happiness too. He glanced down to see her smiling. She looked happy and carefree. He hoped he could take some credit for that.
They rented an umbrella and two chairs a couple of rows back from the water. Ron tensed as he studied the crowds on the beach. Many of the women were topless. He was hugely relieved when Em took off nothing more than her skirt and told her so. Em told him she was there to get away from attention not attract more.
But it seemed she did—attract attention that is. The beach was crowded and Ron claimed the men were eying her with covert glances or lustful stares. His fine mood evaporated.
He had an insane impulse to cover Em with a beach towel or his T-shirt. He was furious as hell. “Damn it! Look at all those men. Drooling over you.” He gestured to include the whole beach.
Em looked around and then looked back to Ron.
“Oh, Ron, for heaven’s sake. Ignore them.” She chuckled and patted his cheek.
He pulled away. “Don’t patronize me.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“But, they’re just a bunch of guys on the beach, checking out the women. I’m sure you do the same thing.”
“It’s like I don’t exist for Christ’s sake. Like I’m not even here with you.”
“Jesus, Ron.”
“Don’t you get it? They can drool all they want. But I want them to know you’re mine. Mine!”
“You’re jealous?”
“Damn straight!”
“Fuck! I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders and now this.”
“Don’t try the guilt trip thing. I’ve got a right to my feelings.”
“And I don’t need your childishness. I need your support.”
“Well, I need support too, damn it.”
“I get jealous too. Did you ever think of that? When you’re not too busy wallowing in self- pity, that is?”
“Jealous? Of me?”
“Yeah, you’re tight with Jamie. You’ve got fans draping themselves all over you. Gorgeous little nymphets.”
“What about all the clerks and waiters and strangers you flirt with?”
“Just because I’m friendly and like to talk to people—”
“Oh shit, I can’t believe … Em … I can’t believe we’re having this argument. I….”
“Ron, there is only you.”
“No sailors?”
“None.” There was an uncomfortable pause, neither of them looking directly at the other.
“Look….” They both spoke at once and laughed shakily.
“Let’s just agree to make the most of our time together,” Ron said. Em opened her arms for a hug.
Em and Ron strolled to Old Town where they stopped for beer at a small taverna tucked away in a quiet corner. Then they ventured out again, poked around in the shops, and stopped to chat with little old ladies sitting in front of their homes. One looked to be at least ninety. Em translated for Ron.
Em giggled. “She says that we are obviously a couple very much in love.”
“Tell her, she’s right,” Ron whispered in Em's ear as the toothless old woman batted her nonexistent eyelashes at Ron and cackled gleefully.
They window-shopped. Em admired two bracelets that looked suspiciously like O-rings wrapped with gold wires. Ron wanted to buy them for her, but she would have none of it. She paid for them herself with no understanding of why the thought of Ron buying her something was so appalling. She should have liked the idea, cherished anything he bought her, but she feared that she would lose his gift in the transports and lose a part of him along with it. Or maybe anything he bought her would travel with her to her other life and she wouldn’t know where it came from and she’d lose him again.
Ron insisted on a gift. She finally relented but only because it seemed so important to him. They agreed to meet back at the tavern in an hour.
“I’m sorry I’m late.” Em was breathless from running. She hugged Ron and he held on tightly. He seemed weak with relief that she was back. They ordered two beers and Ron presented his gift formally. An unconscious attempt to create rituals they would never share? They laughed to see they had bought each other almost identical amber worry beads.
“I know I’m a worrier, but I thought I hid it well.”
“You do,” she said. “But I know better. Why did you think I needed the beads?”
“Because you fidget and play with your ring or the cutlery or whatever else is handy. You need something to do with your hands.”
“And I can’t always have them on you?”
“Well.” He considered in mock seriousness. “That would be ideal of course but not always the best policy in public.”
On the second day they sailed to Lindos, climbed to the Acropolis and rode the donkeys down, and then rode the donkeys back up and walked down. Ron spotted a basket of little unfired clay donkeys labeled “Lindos Taxi.” Em thought they were cute and bought one for each of them.
That night over dinner, Ron said, “I’ve been thinking about our conversation last time. About what I could do.”
“What have you decided?”
“Prison reform.”
“What? Good Lord, isn’t that a bit of a stretch even for an actor?”
“Several years ago I toured a federal penitentiary in preparation for a role in an insignificant movie. The visit, however, proved to be significant—it made an impression that has haunted me ever since. It wasn’t until I met you that I began to think seriously that I might be able to have some impact.”
“What? Where? How?”
“I’m still trying to figure that out. I’ve been doing some research but so far haven’t found much that’s encouraging. Hell, from what I’ve seen so far I’m ready to advocate for bubble-wrap therapy.”
“Don’t forget sex therapy,” Em added with a mischievous grin.
“At the risk of starting another argument, I want to say I’ve been thinking a lot about the money thing,” Ron said. “Hollywood is an industry where excess is the norm, encouraged even. And when a star fails, every detail becomes part of the public domain.”
“I think,” Em said, “