Chapter 16
Loxy was wearing a safari outfit, Kaki shorts and shirt, knee high white socks, boots, and even a canvas covered pith helmet, when she arrived for breakfast. The men rose, and she motioned them to sit. Sylvia, Helena, and Midori had become a bit of a click and sat at their end of the table. Judy had remained in her room and nothing Truest could do could bring her out. Truest sat near Samuel. Jon, Fyodor, and Immanuel sat on the other side of the table, heavy into their discussion. Timothy was next to Jon, not participating. William was reading, and every now and then would say, “I didn’t write that. How could they get this wrong?!”
The travelers had been on the river for four days and though they were feeling renewed with every moment, noticeable improved physical health, there was also a growing wanting, perhaps for their old friends and family, for cities and familiar places. The river offered none of that. The air was easier on them, as it had greater oxygen content than what they had experienced in their lives. Consequently, things were bigger. Trees were bigger. Insects were scary bigger, but surprisingly, none molested the humans. It was almost as if there was invisible boundary that the insects respected.
Loxy sat across from Jon, tuning into their ongoing discussion about the Universe and God.
“What a heavy conversation for breakfast,” Loxy said. “They have been at all night,” Sylvia said.
Loxy nodded and focused on her charge. “And how are you this morning, Timothy?”
Loxy asked.
“Fuck you,” Timothy managed. “Ah, I see, still stuck,” Loxy said.
Lemurs lined the river, as if curious about the Riverboat. They frolicked, they climbed, and they sang lemur songs. There were more lemurs species here than had ever been noted. The previous day they had encountered giant lemurs and though they were extremely peaceful bunch, it had given the ladies a fright, and Fyodor and Kant were interested in hunting, which was quickly squashed. Though the giant lemurs were not equal to humans in sentience, they were comparable to that of the great apes, and when educated in how conversant Koko the Gorilla was, they were confronted with information that was very difficult for them to readily accept.
What they could accept was that one of the conditions for living on this planet was not killing animals for sport or food, and though killing for food was allowed, there were some animals that were never to be killed, and the giant lemur was one. Dolphins and whales were examples of others. This ensemble had become the reluctant test group, because there were groups of people in the stations, like Native Americans and Eskimos, and people from centuries past where killing to survive was just a fact of life that were going to struggle with this paradigm.
Samuel suddenly seemed perplex, as if listening to something that no one else heard. “Do any of you hear that?” he asked, a better way than asking everyone else to be quiet.
He paled, and stood as if there was an emergency. “Oh, dear God,” he said, rushing forward to confirm his fears. “Radiance! Reverse, full power.”
By now the others had joined him at forward rail. The waterfall really wasn’t discernable to them. Radiance appeared.
“There is no cause for alarm,” Radiance said, reassuringly. “I can stop are forward progress if that is your wish, but we can also continue downstream without worry.”
“By the sounds of it, that’s got to be a twenty foot drop?!” Clemens said. “That’s pretty good,” Radiance said. “It’s seven meters.”
“What?” Clemens said. “23 feet,” Immanuel said.
“Full reverse!” Clemens said.
Radiance took his hand. “Trust me,” Radiance asked. “I would not allow any harm to come to any of you.”
Clemens looked to Loxy. She nodded. Clemens took hold of the rail with both hands. As they drew closer to the fall, the others became a little more concerned. Loxy, Midori, Truest, and Jon showed no fear. Timothy remained in his chair, a little panicky, but only able to turn his eyes. Though he asked what was going on, no one paid him any mind. As the bow of the riverboat went out over the edge, it dipped a little, and Clemens muttered something under his breath. But the riverboat did nothing more than dip, and advanced out into air, completely free of the river, proceeding as easy as an air ship. The travelers rushed aft to take in the river, the view of the falls, and were completely amazed.
“I think I am going to faint,” Sylvia said. “But I would miss this view!”
They moved to the side and was so swept up by the fact they were flying and the sight of the fall that no one noticed that Timothy rose from his chair, went up behind Jon, and shoved him over the deck. Jon fell without making a sound, hit the paddle wheel, and then down to the river, where he disappeared into the waters. Loxy turned to see Timothy was up, smiled, and approached. His eyes seemed wild with fear.
“Timothy?” Loxy asked.
As Loxy was addressing Timothy, Judy ran up on deck, and was first met by Shakespeare. “We’re flying my dear!”
“Jon fell!” Judy announced. “We went right past my window.”
Everyone took inventory. Indeed, Jon was missing. They were aware of Loxy and Timothy, and suddenly, Jon arrived on the desk, a whirlwind of light and sparks. He moved his neck to and fro and popped a muscle.
“I didn’t do it,” Timothy said. And he collapsed to the deck.
निनमित
Timothy was back in his chair. Radiance had been able to provide a holographic replay of the offense and they were both horrified by the event and amazed at the tech. But more than that Clemens was upset with Loxy’s response to the situation. The travelers were circled near the gang plank, and Clemens had his arms crossed and his foot planted, as if addressing a child.
“I am not allowing you to head off into the wilderness with Timothy alone,” Clemens said. “It’s dangerous out there, and he is either evil, or a reckless fool, and probably both.”
“Getting him alone is necessary to help him heal,” Loxy said.
“She’s going to kill me,” Timothy wailed. He wasn’t in the circle but close enough. “Don’t let her take me out there. She will leave me and feed me to the bears.”
“Why are you being so adamant?” Judy asked. “Because she is a female?”
“Oh, please,” Kant said. “We all know she is capable, probably more so than us.”
“Then why can’t she do as she pleases?” Judy asked. “I mean, we’re all sovereign so we can do what we want.”
“And what about Timothy? Is he sovereign? He can just get away with attempted murder?” Fyodor asked.
“I didn’t do it!” Timothy said. “I still can’t move my body.”
“Let’s say he is sovereign, what authority does she have to take Timothy out into the wilderness, and for what?” Fyodor asked.
“I am confused,” Sylvia said. “Are you for her or against her?”
“There is no legal structure here. No authority,” Kant said.
“Yeah there is,” Clemens said. “My boat, my rules. Loxy, maybe I am bias. I am truly affected by your beauty, your youth, and though I know you are capable, allowing you out there alone seems unreasonable. You don’t even have any gear.”
“She can summon anything she wants from the air,” Midori said. “For now,” Fyodor said.
“What does that mean?” Midori asked.
“I do not wish to be dependent on the arbitrariness of God,” Fyodor said. “He favors us now, but one act of aggression, such as what happened, and God proves to be inconsistent and fickle, and favoring sides, as if watching us is nothing more than a sports match.”
“The mechanism in place here is neither God nor magic, but technology,” Jon tried to explain.
“And technology fails,” Kant said. “Usually at the least favorable time. She could be stranded out there with a homicidal maniac.”
“I didn’t do it!” Timothy persisted. “What if he didn’t do it?” Helena said.
“My dear,” Clemens said, ever gently. “The devil made me do it didn’t work in the dark ages, it won’t work here.”
“I believe in things unseen,” Helen said. She looked to Jon. “You do, too.”
“Well, I do play Pokemon Go,” Jon said.
“Jon, this is serious,” Loxy said.
“I am serious,” Jon said. “And that was seriously funny.”
“You hear anyone laughing?” Loxy asked.
“The stars are laughing,” Jon said. Loxy gave him the look. He mused for a moment before surrendering. “Sorry. Somewhere out there, someone gets me.”
“I get you. It’s amusing. You’re timing sucks,” Loxy said. “Now, back on topic.”
Jon sighed, nodded, then gave his opinion. “Whether Timothy is speaking the truth at this moment or not is irrelevant. Even truth can be spoken manipulatively to avoid consequences. I don’t care if it was Timothy, an evil spirit possession, a tulpa possession, or a psychological manifestation of deeper impulses. Timothy is not a nice person, but he is a human being, and he is this way partly because of circumstances and partly because of choices. If there is any hope of altering his course and opening up new roads for him, it will come from a place of love. I know of no one better than Loxy to demonstrate that love. If she says a walk in the wilderness is what Timothy and she needs, then she will have my support.”
“He just tried to kill you, Sir!” Fyodor said. “You would let him go out there, with your woman, alone.”
“Yes,” Jon said.
“I am confused,” Clemens said. “I thought you love her.”
“I love her so much that I can’t find the words to express it,” Jon said. “Maybe if I had a thousand Shakespeare’s and a thousand years, I could approach something remotely akin to the feelings she provokes in me. Maybe I could discuss the many ways I feel I fail her. And yes, I feel fear, and possessiveness, but these things are not love. Love is allowing another to pursue their heart’s interest. The question before us isn’t do we let her go, but do we send her with love, or with protest.”
Loxy took Jon’s hand and squeezed it, beaming at him. “I don’t want go!” Timothy said.
“Now, that part is problematic,” Jon said. “He doesn’t want to go.”
“Do you know anyone who wants to go to the dentist?” Loxy asked.
“I think when he pushed you over he forfeited his right to decide,” Truest said.
“This is why you shouldn’t have brought him out early,” Midori said. “He wasn’t ready yet.”
“We need to stop revisiting that and focus on the here and now,” Loxy said. “None of us are ever completely ready for what life has in store for us.”
“If you’re going, I would feel much better knowing you had hard supplies that can’t be reabsorbed back into the ether,” Kant said.
Loxy turned to Radiance. A backpack stuffed with gear arrived on the deck. “All the things a camping girl might want.”
“You expect her to carry that?” Clemens asked.
Loxy tested the weight. “Pff, I carried heavier up a mountain higher than Everest,” she said. Again, the men were impressed. “But, I will have Timothy’s chair carry it. I mean, no need to exhaust myself when we have a floating chair.”
“I am not going and you can’t make me,” Timothy said.
“Stand up and walk and we’ll discuss an alternative,” Loxy told him. “I can’t walk!” Timothy snapped.
“Then I guess you’re going with me because your chair is slaved to me,” Loxy said. “So this matter is settled?” Clemens said. “You’re going?”
“I am,” Loxy said.
“Are you sure I can’t go with you?” Truest asked.
Clemens face revealed he might die if another woman left his care, but he said nothing, having already lost the battle with Loxy.
“You’re needed here,” Loxy said.
“For what?” Truest asked. “This is just a vacation. Your work is serious. I could learn from you.”
“This is not just a vacation,” Loxy said. “At the river’s end, you will discover your next mission.”
“What’s at the rivers end?” Midori asked. “And why are you privy to knowledge I am not?”
“Go with love, sister,” Loxy said, touching Midori’s arm. “There is no contest between us.”
Loxy turned to see Jon securing the gear on the back of Timothy’s chair. He was pleading for them not to let her take him. They seemed completely unaffected by his plight. Only Helena touched his arm and sent him with blessing. Everyone hugged Loxy. She and Jon hugged last, and she kissed him.
“By the way, in case I forgot to say it earlier, I love you, too,” Loxy said. “Have fun storming the castle,” Jon said.
“There’s a castle?” Sylvia asked.
“I should really introduce them to my core movies,” Jon whispered to Loxy. “Or not,” Loxy said.
“Shakespeare will appreciate it, though,” Jon said. “He might,” Loxy said.
“And I am curious to what would happen if you took the Matrix back in time and showed it to people in Judy’s time, would they understand it’s a movie, or will the special effects be so great they think it’s a documentary,” Jon said. “Or if they see the movie with CGI Judy, will they think she has been brought back to life.”
“I am sure there is a world exploring that very question,” Loxy said. Loxy stepped back and gave Jon the Vulcan peace sign. “Travel Light,” she said.
“Live long and prosper,” Jon gave the sign back.
निनमित
After dinner a guitar was produced and Jon was encouraged to play. A rendition of the New Christy’s “This Old River Boat” proved to be a good choice. Judy declined singing, so Jon gave her a song inspired by her song, “The Rainbow Connection.” It kind of set up a nostalgic feeling, and was not helped that he followed it with “I am going to go back there someday,” which is kind of a sad song, by a sad character, Gonzo.
“Know anything peppy?” Sylvia asked. “A drinking song, perhaps?” William said.
“Joy to the world by three dog night?” Jon asked. No one knew it of course, so he had to just give it to them. By the last chorus they were singing along. Any Beatles’ song should have been a success, but Judy actually called “Hello, hello,” a bit campy for her. Her comment made him wonder what would happen if he did go back in time and introduce songs by the Beatles as his songs; would they still be a hit because they were great songs, or did it require having the Beatles and the 50’s setting. “While my guitar gently weeps” again provoked strong emotions, they were hoping for something more upbeat.
“Do you only sad songs?” Helena asked. “That’s not really sad,” Jon said, curious.
“Explain the tear drops from your guitar,” William said.
Jon gave the introduction to ‘Black Bird’ and they were like not another sad song. “This is my favorite,” Jon lamented. He sighed. What song could he give them?
“Can you dance?” Judy asked. “Not well,” Jon said.
Judy stood and offered her hand. Radiance took the guitar, but when she sang, there was a full orchestra. Judy requested a Big Band piece, and Jon and Judy danced, while the others clapped. Keeping up with Judy was impossible, she out performed him, and it was all he could do to keep in the game, and if it hadn’t been so strenuous, he might have entertained teaching her some duets so they could perform some of his favorites with her. The fact that he was dancing with her at all, on a River Boat, under an unblemished canopy stars, while the eyes of night lemurs quietly reflected the gentle Riverboat lights back at them, a million eyes like stars curious about the human haunting, should have been all, but it’s never all. The song ended with Judy in his arms. She was smiling. It seemed so sincere that he was convinced she wanted him and if no one else was there, he might have risked kissing her. Her smile dropped, she patted his cheek, and separated from him.
“Now, that’s entertainment,” Judy said.
Radiance provided more music appropriate for dancing and everyone took the dance floor. Jon withdrew to the far side of the upper deck, leaned on the rail and looked back at the eyes turning to the Riverboat, and then fading as they continued down stream. How many worlds were out there, just beyond the light. There were a lot of eyes. He was so distracted by his thoughts that he was hardly aware that the music had died and people had wandered off to their next station, probably their quarters and sleep. Not all. Helena was hovering, and finally committed to intruding on his space. She pulled up alongside him.
“You okay?” Helena asked.
Jon nodded. “I am well, thank you. You?”
“I am alive,” Helena said.
There was a song there, but Jon only smiled. Helena leaned into the rail and stared out into the dark world, which really wasn’t that dark. The stars, the fireflies, the radiant eyes all gave the world a dreamy feel.
“May I ask you a personal question?” Helena asked. “Please,” Jon said.
“You’re in love with Judy,” Helena said. “Oh, yeah,” Jon admitted. No secret there.
“But you’re in a relationship with Loxy,” Helena said.
“How many people are in relationships with one person, while loving another?” Jon asked.
“Wow,” Helena said. “That seems profound somehow.”
“I think it’s just an honest reflection. We all love, and we all love all the time, and it would be dishonest to say that when love doesn’t pan out the way we hope or intend and we move on that we stop loving others, or the previous, or the first. It doesn’t diminish us to love more and better,” Jon said.
“Many would disagree, perhaps even say you loved them less because you loved someone else,” Helena said. “Or perhaps even fear of losing your love should the other suddenly realized what you offered was better or more genuine or your station had changed.”
“Yeah,” Jon agreed, not wanting to expound.
“Are people better at loving in your time?” Helena agreed.
“No, I suspect we are worse at it than any previous generation,” Jon said. “Really?!” Helena asked.
“Never in the history of the world has there ever been a population that felt so entitled, that not only should we have love, but it should fit all our expectations. One person should fit all our needs, and should that person fail to meet that, in any one thing, they are discarded and the pursuit for the next begins. We are stuck in pursuit, both male and female afflicted with the sickness of Aneas, forging out in search of something that doesn’t exist,” Jon said. “Love has become a commodity, a form of entertainment, not about raising others. There is some raising of others, but it is delivered with an expectation of return, which is not love, but an investment.
True love would not worry that the other might die or leave, but would simply cherish the moment, and should person go, you bow humbly because that is what that person needs at that time. The dance just goes on.”
“So, you don’t believe in commitment?” Helena said.
“Depends on what you mean. There was a time when people stayed together out of necessity. It was a means of survival. The wellbeing of family and children required a certain level of stability. How many relationships did women maintain without love only because their station or abilities couldn’t afford them better? I think now, in this time when everyone has equal access to wealth and education, to birth control, we will finally have the opportunity to discover what true love is. When a human lives two hundred years, and love moves beyond the high school romance version of love, that’s when we’ll see acceptance, patience, and compassion.”
“Is that the relationship you and Loxy have?” Helena said.
“I have never known anyone as loving and compassionate and genuine as Loxy. She provokes health, understanding, and joy,” Jon said.
“But you would bed Judy?” Helena asked. “Yes,” Jon admitted.
“And, Loxy is okay with that?” Helena asked.
“With me having sex? She encourages it. She has even arranged opportunities, and if Judy was so inclined, we would both go to her bed, together or as individuals,” Jon said. Jon could see Helena was struggling with understanding it. “Look, contrary to social beliefs, it is okay to have more than one partner, or even random one night stands. Society has tried to control this, probably more because women were considered commodities than people and so they were owned, the wedding band was a mark of being owned, and so anyone not abiding by rules were shamed into compliance. My entire life is filled with pain because I wanted to be in a box but couldn’t stay in the box. Some of it was given to me by society, some by family, and some because of my own interest. Some of the best relationships I have ever had were one night stands. They afforded me more sense of adventure, fun, and moments of healing than any of my long term relationships. I felt love and accepted, and didn’t have to deal with the baggage that comes with living with a person, and that hook up didn’t have to deal with mine. And I have baggage, Helena. Hell, but even with that, I was able to be more open with strangers than with people that stay in my everyday life. You can be surprisingly honest with strangers, maybe because they are less likely to judge you than your primary group, or maybe they do judge you, but if you never see them again, and they don’t visit your work or your family and friends, so there is no gossip, and so it’s easier to let go and just remember the fun part. And I can provide you with so many reasons why even one random sex event a week is better than a month of living with someone and not having sex. Do I hate myself for the hook ups? Sometimes. I struggle with the conflict, and I have given into the impulse to hook up more often than I said no to myself… And, I am rambling, aren’t I.”
“Do the people from your time all speak so starkly honest?” Helena asked. Jon chuckled. “No, Mam,” he said.
“So, you’re special?” Helena asked.
“No. Yes. We all are,” Jon said. “We all aren’t.”
Helena smiled. “I wish I had met you when I was younger,” Helena said.
Jon mirrored her affection. “Imagine you were younger, what would you do differently right now?”
“You don’t know?” Helena asked. “I am not a psychic,” Jon said.
“We all are, you probably more than most,” Helena said. “Tell me as if I weren’t,” Jon said.
“I would invite you to my bed,” Helena said. “Invite me to your bed,” Jon said.
“Yes,” Helena said.
“No,” Jon said. “Invite me to your bed.”
Helena sorted. Her eyes got bigger with understanding. “You would…” Jon touched her hand on the rail, leaned in and kissed her.
“But I am old,” Helena said. “You’re beautiful,” Jon said. “I am not Judy,” Helena said.
“You are not. I accept you for who you are and if you ask me to make love to you, I would, with joy,” Jon said.
“I have an agenda,” Helena said. “Oh?” Jon asked.
“I was speaking to my spirit guide about you. She said I should ask you about something called Tantra,” Helena said.
“We should definitely retire to your room,” Jon said. Helena took Jon by his arm and led him there.