Travelling to the harbour at Kingsville Piers took most of what turned out to be a generally uneventful day, other than one slightly awkward conversation they had both been avoiding.
“Daelen,” Cat broached at last, “I just wanted to thank you.”
“For what?” he asked, knowing full well what she meant.
“For trusting me with part of your essence, part of who – what – you are. When you were inside me, I got a glimpse, no more than that, but enough to realise something I never understood before. Daelen, we throw around words like ‘higher planar being’ without any real concept of what we’re saying. This body isn’t really you, is it?”
The shadow warrior shook his head. “No, it’s not. Same goes for Kullos and…‘Aden.’ This body is a shell, albeit one I’ve grown quite attached to.”
“But why are you called shadow warriors? All I sensed was light, or at least, that’s the closest word I know to describe it.”
Daelen flushed as if this was embarrassing to talk about.
“That is because I am incomplete. What Kullos did to the original Daelen StormTiger all those centuries ago split me in two.”
“What does that mean?” Cat asked, then when he hesitated, she offered to drop the whole thing.
“No, it’s not that,” he assured her. “It’s just difficult for me to put it in terms you can understand, and I don’t mean that to be insulting. The fault lies with my ability to explain rather than any lacking on your side.”
“Just do your best,” Cat encouraged him.
He considered for a moment, then smiled and stated, “We’re light in a box.”
“You’re what?” Cat laughed.
“We’re light in a box,” he repeated.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Most of the best explanations are,” he asserted. “Just imagine it – light in a box.”
“OK,” Cat agreed.
“Now imagine someone coming along and tearing the box in two. What happens?”
“The light spills out,” Cat answered. Then she grasped the implications. “So, what you’re saying is, the true nature of your people contains the light, keeps it in shadow, hence the name. But Kullos ripped open your outer shell…” she trailed off, considering her next words, “…your skin?”
“Essentially,” Daelen nodded.
Thinking more about the analogy, Cat was horrified.
“So, when you say Kullos ripped your original in two, you mean literally?”
Again, Daelen nodded.
“How are your insides not falling out?” Cat blurted out before she could stop herself.
“Well, physiologically, it’s not as serious as it would be if someone cut you open, but it does take effort to keep myself together.”
Cat just needed to ask one more thing. “Sorry, Daelen,” she broached, tentatively, “I’m trying to find a delicate way of asking this, but when you were inside me, I got the impression…” she trailed off and tried again. “You don’t normally show all of your inner light to other people, do you? I mean your people. Routinely.”
“Not routinely, no,” he agreed.
He explained that his people, the Shadowkin, could make their outer shell semi-translucent to display an aura – the equivalent of facial expressions and body language. A way of conveying emotions. How much they chose to display was governed by complex social norms. Revealing their true inner light, however, was something quite different, and certainly not acceptable in public.
“But you might choose to show it to someone…special?”
“Usually only one. Not always.”
“Oh, Daelen, I’m so sorry,” Cat offered, eyes glistening. “You shouldn’t have had to do that.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he replied, placing a reassuring hand on her arm. “For me, it was little more than breaking a taboo of intimacy – uncomfortable, but not life-changing. You’re actually the third person to see my light, which would raise a few eyebrows among my people – if my people had eyebrows. The implications for you were potentially much more serious. I’m just glad you don’t seem to have suffered any ill-effects.”
“I’m fine,” Cat assured him. “It’s unlikely either of us would have chosen to do it under other circumstances, but things being as they were, we both fully consented, we both knew what we were doing, and I have no regrets.”
“Well if you don’t, then neither do I,” Daelen agreed. Changing the subject, he remarked, “If you don’t mind me saying so, I was impressed with how you handled the pain.”
“It was pretty similar to the pain of shapeshifting,” she replied.
“It’s that painful for you?” he gasped in astonishment. “You seem to do it so freely.”
She shrugged. “Pain is part of nature. I simply don’t let the pain stop me, just as you don’t let yours stop you. Besides, it’s mostly outweighed by the joy of being some other creature for a while.”
“Well, I’m still sorry I caused you more.”
“But Daelen, you’ve also given me so much knowledge, and that gift is precious to me. Part of my reason for being on this quest with you is to understand you better. Understanding your power, your nature, your pain…it’s all the same thing. It’s the nature of the Balance.”
*****
They reached the harbour at last and left their ‘borrowed’ horse in the stables. They had no idea when Justaria might be able to reclaim her horse, but Daelen gave them enough money to cover the costs for a whole year, if necessary. If the missing sorceress hadn’t returned in that time, then frankly it was highly unlikely she ever would. Catriona wrote a pair of quick notes, one for the Council of Wizards and one for Justaria personally, taking responsibility for the theft of the horse and the damage to her property. She didn’t dare risk saying too much beyond ‘emergency circumstances,’ but she vowed to volunteer herself for a Conclave when she returned.
“In the interests of increased understanding,” Daelen ventured as they walked down the harbour in search of the ship he kept on retainer, “before your staff nearly killed me, I was thinking I have seen it before, but I haven’t been able to quite remember where.”
“Well, it’s possible you were around one of the times in history when my Angel showed up and made the stars shift.”
“Yes, I suppose that could be it. Anyway, as long as you don’t touch me with it again, I’d be happy to take another look, maybe see if I can unlock its power for you.”
Cat looked troubled by this offer, however.
“If you have information, I will listen, of course, but if you intend to unlock the power itself, then I must refuse. That’s not the way – it’s not my way. No doubt an agent of Darkness would jump at the chance to increase her own power, and an agent of the Light would be glad of the prospect of using this power to save the world in the coming battles. But I am neither of these things. As an agent of the Balance, I do not seek power for its own sake, and I have no interest in becoming a hero. The edicts of Balance teach that power without context is dangerous, whether used with good or evil intentions. Even the best of intentions can cause great harm. The best way to fight that is with knowledge. For what purpose was the staff created and imbued with this power? Why was the power hidden and the knowledge scattered? Why is it that this power has never been used in the centuries that this staff has existed? Why did my Angel give it to me? I find it hard to accept that only I have the necessary skill and resourcefulness to put the pieces together.” With a smile, she added, “Frankly, I’m not that conceited. When I have a complete understanding of the power of my staff, then I will be qualified to choose how, and indeed whether, the power should be used.”
“Well, it’s your staff and your business, so I won’t interfere,” Daelen promised. “You must do what you believe is best, but I want to help if you’ll let me.”
“The best way to help is to do what we already planned: let me stop off at Calin’s Tower.”
“Why is this place so important to you?” Daelen asked.
Catriona was only too pleased to explain.
Calin was a sorceress of the Balance, who had sacrificed all pursuit of magical power, dedicating her life instead to collecting knowledge. Hers was the ultimate collection of rare magical texts in the whole world. She was also a strong proponent of druid magic being given equal status to wizard magic. Wizard, druid, cleric or just the curious, Calin did not discriminate. Her policy was free access to information for all.
“I could happily get lost in there for weeks, but I know we have our quest to think about, so I will just pay a flying visit.”
Cat already new the volumes she wished to borrow, and her staff had a way of drawing her to any others she needed.
“I’m used to studying as I travel, so I won’t slow us down. Since I’m the one who insisted on being your shadow, I won’t be the one to separate us. You can accompany me in your guise as a wizard. We can use the same rumours that have no doubt spread from the FaerWay Tavern, and say you are my current love interest.”
“Alright, we’ll do as you suggest,” Daelen agreed. “I would be honoured to be at your side…my love.”
Giving him the side-eye, Cat’s only response was, “I don’t think there’s any need to get into character just yet, Daelen.”
“Cat,” Daelen began, haltingly, “I know we’ve only just met, but…”
Before he could finish the thought, he was interrupted by the keening cry of a giant albatross, which promptly came in to land. Cat knew, without looking, who was riding this bird.
“Uh-oh,” she remarked. “Here comes trouble.”
Mandalee dismounted and sent the bird away, while Daelen, acting on instinct, flew into the air, powering up rapidly. Cat could feel Mandalee gathering her own powers in response.
“Go away, assassin!” he commanded. “Or I’m going to smack you so hard it’ll take you a month to fly back. If you survive.”
Her green eyes were glowing with fierce anger. “I’m not here for you!” she shot back. “Be thankful for that. I’m here for Catriona.”
“No!” Daelen thundered in response. “You will not harm her!”
“I have no intention of harming or even hurting her, I simply need to talk to her. Alone!”
“Request denied, I will not allow it! Go now, while you still can.”
Alone and ignored, Catriona looked upon the scene with dismay. They were both her friends, and she couldn’t bear to see them tear each other to shreds.
‘But how can I protect one without offending the other?’ she wondered.
Pyrah, sensing her friend’s thoughts, observed sympathically, ‘Not good.’
‘I know,’ Cat sent back, ‘I’ve got to stop it.’ Then she had an idea. ‘Well, a certain someone’s always telling me I have a flair for the dramatic. Maybe I should embrace that.’
Sensing Catriona’s plan, Pyrah wished snakes had eyelids so she could close her eyes to shut out what she feared would be a very messy scene.
Cat used her Windy Steps power to create a staircase of dense air which she then ran up, placing herself high enough to stand directly in the path of any attacks, magical or otherwise. If they wanted to fight each other, they would have to go through her. She pulled out her staff and asked the blue crystal to reflect the light more until it glowed, fiercely, for added theatrical effect.
“I command it;” she declared at the top of her voice, “there will be no battle between you here!” She allowed her words to echo for a moment. When she continued, her voice lost some its fire, but none of its steel. “Mandalee, shut up and calm down. I have sworn not to use my powers to harm you, but I can always restrain you to prevent you from harming yourself.” Turning to Daelen, she added, “As for you, what’s this you say? You ‘will not allow’ us to talk? Who the hell do you think you are to decide what you will or will not allow me to do? I am my own woman, and I will talk to whomever I please. Your permission is not required. Power down this instant – and don’t flatter yourself that I won’t use my magic to restrain you if I must,” Cat let her words ring in the air for a long moment, before continuing in a softer tone. “Now, let’s all just calm down and try to be sensible about this, shall we?”
Daelen powered down but refused to float back to the ground. Catriona calmly walked down her invisible steps, taking her own good time as a sign that she was still very much in control of this situation. Mandalee was still smouldering but kept a lid on it. She hadn’t seen Catriona in this mood before and even with her oath of friendship, she knew better than to push her luck.
“Alright, Cat,” Daelen smoothed, trying to regain some dignity and control. “Talk to your friend, I won’t interfere, but I will stay to listen.”
A furious Mandalee shouted into the air, “No. You will not listen. There are some things in this world you need not know. If you know that she and I are friends, then you should also know that she’s completely safe with me.”
Then, looking at Cat, she told her, “I need to talk. If you truly believe there’s a chance of rekindling our old friendship, then come and see me. Alone,” she emphasised. “I do not want ears other than yours and mine to hear. My business is not his. Send me a sympathic message when you’re ready.”
With that, she invoked her super-speed and streaked away.
At last, Daelen floated down to the ground.
Cat wasn’t happy that they’d made such a scene, but replaying their words in her mind, she was at least thankful Mandalee had not used Daelen’s name. With a bit of care, she realised she could quite easily spin the narrative.
To Daelen’s astonishment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips.
“Don’t worry, lover,” she reassured him, raising her voice just enough to be overheard, “she’s just jealous. Let me go and smooth things over with her.”
She leaned close again and whispered, “Play along. Support the story. This is just Catriona Redfletching in the middle of a love triangle. Nothing to do with Daelen StormTiger.”
“Alright Cat,” he acquiesced, matching her tone, following her lead. “I’m sorry about what I said. Of course, you can talk to anyone you want to. I guess I was jealous, too.”
“Nicely done,” she whispered, “and I forgive you.”
*****
Catriona left Pyrah with Daelen. Neither Shadowkin nor Ysirian was happy about it, but Mandalee had insisted on being alone. The druidess wasn’t sure if Mandalee would have a problem with Pyrah, but she didn’t want to risk losing this chance to mend bridges because of a technicality.
Cat sent a sympathic message to Mandalee, asking her location.
Mandalee was rusty at this and returned the image of an anchor, which Cat mistook to mean she was on board a ship. After a couple more goes, Cat finally realised she meant she was at an inn called the Anchor. She asked directions of a passer-by, and soon enough she found it. Her old friend was sitting outside. There was a bottle of beer in her hand and another on the table.
Cat sat down opposite and quipped, “Is this drink for me or are you just saving it for later?”
The assassin granted her a half-smile and stated, “It’s for my friend.”
“It’s nice to know I’m still that,” Cat replied removing the cap and doing ‘cheers’ with Mandalee before taking a sip.
“You came when I asked,” Mandalee replied, pointedly, “which is an improvement on last time.”
“Mandalee, I really am so sorry about what happened. Where is Shyleen, anyway? I trust she’s OK?”
The assassin assured her that her feline friend was fine and on her way.
Cat was much relieved to hear it.
“It was two years ago,” the assassin shook her head. “Forget it.”
“No,” Cat refused, resolutely. “I don’t want to forget it. I was a terrible friend, and I want to remember it for the rest of my life so I never, ever do anything like it again.”
“It just hurt so much when she got zapped by that wizard, I couldn’t see for the haze of pain.”
“When someone you love is hurt, you feel it, too,” Cat agreed.
“It’s more than that.” Mandalee shook her head and took another long drink. “She’s a part of me.”
“Of course she is,” Cat affirmed, but her friend insisted she still wasn’t getting it.
For Mandalee, it wasn’t just a metaphor, but it took another half bottle of beer to explain. She became a Cleric of Nature thanks to Shyleen, because Shyleen was no ordinary leopard, just as Pyrah was no regular snake. Although she wasn’t from a plane anywhere near that high, in the scheme of things. “Just one level up, in fact,” she concluded.
“One level up?” Cat puzzled over that until her brain realised, “Wait, Shyleen’s a god?”
“Well,” Mandalee replied with another half-smile, “she doesn’t like the term – says it’s pretentious – but she’s from the Pantheon, yes. She was a follower of Blessed Alycia, and as far as Shyleen was concerned, it was Alycia who was a god, not herself.”
“Because sometimes even the gods have gods,” Cat mused.
“Exactly!” Mandalee gasped. “That’s a great way of putting it.”
“Just something someone said to me recently,” Cat explained dismissively. “So, she came down here because…”
“…Because Blessed Alycia did. According to the legends, anyway.”
There was, in fact, much more to the story, but this was neither the time nor the place to tell it. For the moment, she simply explained that Shyleen gave her affinity with nature and access to clerical powers in the faction of Light.
“In exchange for…?” Cat knew these things always came with a price.
“The only thing that would allow her to fully manifest here.”
“Which was what?”
The answer to that required the rest of her bottle of beer.
“Half my soul,” she admitted quickly.
Cat had no idea what to say. Selling one’s soul was traditionally more the province of a Dark wizard in exchange for power.
Mandalee was adamant that she absolutely did not sell her soul. It was an equal share.
“It’s a completely different thing,” she insisted.
It was a lot to take in, but in the end, it seemed to Catriona that there was only one question of relevance.
“Have you ever regretted it?”
“Never for one fraction of a second.”
“Then who the hell am I to judge?”
When they stood up and embraced, Catriona felt as though her heart had just restarted after a two-year break.
“Anyway,” Mandalee continued finally, as they sat back down, “the point is, Shyleen forgave you and, I suppose…much as I tried not to…so have I.”