Chapter 16
Emmitt woke on a hospital bed, trying to recall the last thing he had experienced, and the only thing that came to mind was sheer Bliss, an orgasm to beat all orgasms. Transcendence. He laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Harris asked. She was there. Lots of people were in his room. Picard, staked through the heart by a pool stick. He tried to be serious. “Can I go now? I feel great.” “No,” Harris said.
“The tentacle attack at the end of your captivity released hijacking cells into your system. They reached threshold and released a toxin,” the Doctor said. “We missed it in the initial exam following the incident. We can control the toxin, but we can’t excise all the Chaon cells. In order to prevent further seizure episodes, we’re going to have to operate. We’re going to remove your corpus callosum and provide you an artificial one.”
“So, is this it? My career is over?” Emmitt asked.
“Not if you accept the surgery,” the Doctor said. “It will actually increase your value to us. Split brain procedures allow for us to utilize each hemisphere individually, and both hemispheres as a whole, simultaneously. It is risky. You could die in the procedure. You could end up experiencing a plurality, two or more internal personality, alongside of yours. You may be freaked out to discover your left brain is not you, and your right brain is not you, but together they are you. We never know how this turns out until it’s done. You don’t have to do this. You can go home. You will be given an honorary discharge package of high esteem.” “Do the surgery,” Emmitt said.
“Did you hear the part where I said you might die?” Harris said.
“Do the surgery. I didn’t learn to run so I could home to epilepsy,” Emmitt said. “It’s the fun seizures,” Loxy said. “The kind that come with orgasms.” “Will an orgasm trigger seizures?” Emmitt asked.
“Likely,” the Doctor said. “This hijack is design to milk a male for all he’s worth. You could, in theory, cum to death.”
“Fucking do the surgery,” Emmitt said. “I am not giving up sex. I am not giving up Space
Force.”
The Doctor didn’t waste time. The nurse pushed medicines into his IV. Loxy kissed him, “See you on the other side.” They knocked him out. He woke up elsewhere. He found himself in a room with Bliss. “It ends here?”
“No, you have to go back,” Bliss said.
Tipsy was with Bliss. He had never met Tipsy, but Garcia had. She was literally the Jin in the lamp episode of his alternative Trek universe. She was Garcia’s version of Picard’s Q. “Yeah, not getting out of the contract that easy.”
“Easy?” Emmitt asked.
Emmitt woke from the anesthetic, laughing. He saw two multiple worlds. Tipsy in white, meeting him in the clouds saying she was God, ‘You’re dead.’ That pathway had a choice involved. Had she met him earlier, instead of Jon, there was no way he was going to go back to that icy, cold body buried in the waters of Recovery. Lots of choices loomed ahead. He could stay dead, and go with her to wherever it is souls go, or, he could go back and live the life of a man with an artificial corpus callosum. This felt different than the Jon encounter. This felt more dream like. He failed to gain lucidity. He heard House speaking to him in the background, and connected it to an episode, “Really cool brain surgery.” They were separating his brain. He had to be awake. They needed him to talk. He gave them Jackie Chan lines. ‘Traveling.” Traveler! He could also step back in time and not be in Space Force. There was another room with just
Bliss, but she wasn’t counseling Emmitt, she was counseling Garcia. He was privy to their conversation, but not understanding the half of it; he especially wanted to understand their relationship. There was a room in between where he and Garcia were working together to figure out how to keep the story going. This story, his but not his. Variations on a theme. Everything given, everything new. Always. You can go light, or you can go dark. Utopia was in between. Even Twilight Zone had given him that much; episodes “Escape Clause” and “A Nice Place to Visit.” What else could he do but laugh at the craziness of it all. And then he had to wonder, was the brain a time machine and all this in head had resulted in his ‘Bliss’ affair as a child because it was retroactive to his first brain trauma. Or, was he still in that coma so long ago and this was all a fucking dream?! No, don’t let this just all be a dream. But he laughed. If this turns out to be a Life of Pi event I am so going to be angry. If this is Michael Crichton’s “Sphere” ending, I am going to hunt him down and punch him in the face.
“What’s so funny?”
It was Harris asking him. He took inventory of the room. His class was up stairs in a window looking down on him. Sheila Dumont, Giada Rossi, Katarina Marijić, and Loxy were in the room with him. He went to sit up, but a Doctor to his right pushed him back. He knew her.
He didn’t know how he knew her.
“Doctor Crusher?” Emmitt blurted out her name.
“Do I look like Doctor Crusher?” she asked. He wanted to say yes, but if she were, she wasn’t the nice doctor, but the evil step mom doctor. “I’ll be damned if I am going to let you move about before we ascertain your body has accepted the implant.”
Artificial Corpus Callosum. Emmitt touched his head. He was bald. “It’ll grow back, right?”
“Everything’s a joke to you?” Dumont asked, from up above. “You nearly died.”
“Nearly,” Emmitt said. “Am I cleared for duty?” “No!” Harris said.
“Why?” Emmitt asked. “I feel fine. You used a tissue regenerator to increase connectivity. If you want the body to accept this implant, you don’t want me lying around in bed thinking about it. I need to move.”
“You’re always on the move!” Dumont said. “Lie still for a moment.”
“No. There is so much to do and so little time to do it in,” Emmitt said. Did he say it right? Wonka said it wrong. There’s a meme. Willy Wonka was an incarnation of Doctor Who. Focus. “My brain is functioning within normal parameters.” “You don’t have to do it all,” Harris said.
“You’re right, but I just can’t lay here,” Emmitt said. “What’s so damn important?’ Harris asked.
“He’s schedule for the Kobayashi Maru,” Marijić said.
“No,” the Doctor said. “Absolutely not. You can reschedule.”
“No, I can’t,” Emmitt said. “It looks bad.” “I will give you a note,” the Doctor said.
“I will not miss it,” Emmitt said, clearly. “Look, I can sit in the command chair just as well as I can sit in my room. It’ll be fine.”
“The Kobayashi Maru is one of the most stressful tests anyone can face at the academy,” Gates said.
“Nonsense. It’s a simulator,” Emmitt said. “Everybody dies.” House Tag Line. He needed his own tag line. ‘Make it so’ was taken. “Seriously, I got this. So, unless you’re declaring me unfit for duty, and you block my access with a security task force, you can bet your ass I will be there for my tour. You can release me with an AMA caveat.”
“You’re being unreasonable,” Harris said. “You’re not immortal.”
“I am not,” Emmitt said. “But this is important to me. I only get two more shots at this, and rescheduling counts as one of my shots. That, and I really like the crew I picked. Some of them are graduating. I won’t get this particular team again.” He implored them. “This is a once in life time opportunity. I promise. It’ll be okay. You can both be there with me. I am fully recovered from Recovery!”
“I’m getting to old for death. Doctor, you want to go?” Harris asked.
“I hate the Kobayashi Maru,” the Doctor said. She turned to Emmitt. “It’s a simulator, but people still get hurt. It’s stressful.”
“I got this,” Emmitt assured them. “I won’t fail it again.”
“It’s no win scenario!” Rossi said from above. “Everyone fails. That’s written into the software!”
“Let’s bet,” Emmitt said.
“On what? How long you can make it last once the first torpedo is launch?” “I am in,” Erkin said.
“Me, too,” Dumont said.
“He won’t last 60 seconds,” Harris said.
“Is that a sex joke. Is sex on the betting table?” Emmitt asked.
“No!” They all said.
“You’re normal,” Harris said. “Cleared to return to duty.”
Though Emmitt was saddened to learn Dehan was no longer a part of the group, he continued with his exam, pushing that to the back. She would likely have a nice life. Who knows, maybe he would meet her in his second run at Earth. The simulation ended, mission accomplished. Emmit tried to pretend he was surprised. The cheering in the background ended when lights went up full and the bridge separated to let in command staff.
“Clear the Bridge!” Admiral Irina Turgenev storm the bridge. “Not you, Sheehan.” People were exiting, some trying to get a last minute look in his direction. He flashed a smile at Rossi. She had that look of a devoted wife who had just discovered her husband cheated.
Or a counselor who was suspicious of a fellow counselor violating ethics.
“Attention!” Turgenev demanded.
“I promised I would stay in my chair…” And he had. In a way, had actually made his job easier. He had been able to assign task to each side of his brain while still operating from a full brain mode. But for the first time ever, he had minimized his personal role by utilizing all the specialties of those around him. Promising to stay in the chair had helped him. Previously he had relieved the helm officer and taken over the ship. Not this time. He trusted. He could stand up, but in truth, Turgenev scared him. Using his recent surgery as a crutch now was just a ploy to soften this situation. It didn’t work. The fact it didn’t work, made her all the more attractive to him, and he hated his curse. You can’t fuck your way out of this one.
“Now!”
“No,” Emmitt said.
“What?”
“Make me a cadet, and I will stand to order,” Emmitt said. “Otherwise, this is just a game and you have no authority over me.” “Stand, Cadet, or face court-martial.”
Emmitt stood at attention. He looked straight ahead, which is difficult when someone is standing right in front of you.
“Are you eyeballing me?!” Turgenev said.
“No, Admiral!”
“Who helped you cheat?” Turgenev asked.
“I acted alone,” Emmitt said
“Bullshit,” Turgenev said. “Someone had to have helped you.”
“No, I reprogrammed the computer on my own initiative, alone,” Emmitt said. He saw it all play out in his head. He had used two girls, in a manner he would not have prior to his Chaon captivity. He had gotten them to volunteer. One was an experiment. He asked her if he could try to make her orgasm through Remote Viewing and Remote Influencing protocols. He got her to agree he could turn her on anywhere at any time, and if he made her cum without physically engaging her, she would agree to a second date. The other, he flat out hypnotized her, with her permission. Both had access to the training computer. Both were needed to make his trick work.
“So you admit to cheating,” Turgenev said.
“Oh, come on. If you didn’t want someone cheating, why do you have this computer isolated, and not protected by an AI interface?” Emmitt asked. He wanted to go on that he had exploited this tech earlier in life, as it was the same basic default interaction point that had enabled him to hijack Uber-Lift. Because this was a simulator, and a low priority, isolated system, it was likely never given the update. Or, they had left it there because they knew he knew about it. It wasn’t called the Kobayashi Maru for nothing. If they didn’t block the Kirk option, then they were just asking for it. Everything was a test. This was a test. A test of a test. “Someone had to have told you that it was unprotected. Was it Harris? Amano? He told you how to beat…”
“No!” Emmitt said.
“You slept with someone to get access to the simulator!” Turgenev accused.
It was two; his no didn’t come fast enough. Just thinking about his time with them, in his present, ‘right’ mind, brought a smile to his face. They were nice women. He hoped to encounter them again.
“What was her name?”
“You don’t have any proof of that…”
“Your smile says it all!” Turgenev said. “You’re fucking man whore, Kirk-Bond want-tobe. You’re a menace and threat to all females. You need to have your balls cut off…” “I will not be ashamed for my sexuality or my appetite,” Emmitt said. “I am who I am and I will not run from that.”
“Whoever this dumb fucking blond bimbo is, she is a security risk. Give me her name,” Turgenev said.
“No,” Emmitt said. “Your problem is with me, no one else.”
“You have some nerve talking back to me…”
“Permission to speak freely?”
“What’s stopping you?!” Turgenev said. “Dig your own grave.”
“No one has ever won this. Well, unless you count that Trek Movie as a soft disclosure telling people how to win because someone actually won that way?” Emmitt said. “Sure, everyone loses. I get that. I did that. Everyone loses, and yet, you haven’t changed the protocols. Or fixed a known problem with the software. I changed the rules so that it was possible to complete the task, but unlike Kirk in the movie, I didn’t make a mockery of the test. I just made it feasible. Difficult, but winnable. The only reason my gambits worked was because of the sophistication of the tactics, the competency of the crew, and the availability of fighter pilots. I gave you two new battle tactics which have not been utilized before. Technically, one was used in an episode of Star Trek, but one was mine. Garcia’s. In a book I wrote. That counts, right?” Death was death, and part of battle attitude was that if Space Force was going to lose, they wanted death to be spectacular; assume you have already loss, make it big. Let the enemy know as much pain as you can; make their species aware that fighting would be costly. If you feared they were going to take your planet, be prepared to nuke the entire planet! Going to warp, aiming directly for the ship, was technically the Picard Maneuver; Space Force, just rammed them. It was a last ditch effort one step from the last ditch Space Force recommended tactic.
One’s calculations had to be precise, no margin for error. At the end of the maneuver, you were in spitting distance, or still too far away. The battle tacticians would probably be examining his maneuver for real life practical applications for a decade before trying it in actual battle. Unless, there was a Picard in real life who actually did that. Could Trek actually be adaptations of Star Logs? No. Most Captains in the Navy and in Space led relatively boring lives. Security details at warehouses had more excitement than the typical space captain. The mouse coming across the floor to steal a crumb kind of excitement. Watching movies on a cellphone excitement. Falling asleep and startling yourself when you fall kind of excitement. If there was any luck to be had, Emmitt was entering the Tim Allen parody, Galaxy Quest.
The Garcia Maneuver was also something never before implemented in battle. In addition to going into high warp directly towards an enemy ship, one of the engine nacelles had been uncoupled. When the ship dropped out of warp, the left nacelle kept going at near relativistic speeds. The collision of the warp nacelle with the enemy ship was the equivalent of equal
amount of antimatter coming into contact with real matter. The enemy ship came apart in a brilliant flash of light, and all ships in the area lost sensors and shields. All cloaked ships became visible. Now the playing field was even. The tactical fighters lost sensors, too, but after their screens depolarized, they were able to take advantage of the situation, visual flight rules and high maneuverability. The bigger ships relied too much on sensors and were effectively crippled. Garcia had won in a previous life, in a different universe, by launching a thousand probes emitting energies at all frequencies range to overwhelm the system, which kept the enemy from calling for reinforcements. This had worked so well, Emmitt had used it, too. He took every advantage he could- which was the cheat, because he knew unless he pulled out all the stops he would lose, and most people don’t assume they’re going to lose. He knew he was going to lose. While the enemy was recovering, he performed what would become known as the Sheehan
Maneuver. He practically rammed the Kobayashi Maru, wedging his ship’s primary hull between its warp nacelles, touching their saucer section with his antennae dish array, turned it back towards Federation space, and with one warp coil remaining, pushed both their ships back into Federation space. All but three of the fighters made it back to Federation space. Once the Kobayashi Maru was in Federation Space, Emmitt separated his ship from theirs, and turned back to render aid to the enemy. That, too, was unprecedented. And that’s when the simulation ended.
Amano entered “Explain why you went back to render aid to the enemy.” “Stay out of this, Amano,” Turgenev said.
“I will not. This is my test,” Amano said. “You turned back to render aid to the enemy. I want to know why?”
“If we’re ever to end this cold war, there has to be overtures of friendships. I won. I won because I watched Star Trek. Not the new shit mind you, but the original Trek. The original Trek that said the future of humanity was better! We matured. ‘Good Will Hunting’ is a great movie for past abuse. Lots of people get better in that movie. ‘Death Wish Three’ is not a viable for long term health. Choose your memes wisely! I proved myself victorious on the battlefield. That’s easy. Anyone can win a fight. The next logical step is to extend compassion, not arrogance,” Emmitt said.
“I disagree,” Amano said. “Convince me I am wrong.”
“No,” Emmitt said. “You, more than any, clearly have a grievance. Your grievance with the Chaons is valid. I am not going to tell you how you should feel. I am telling you how I intend to respond. I extend an invitation for you to join me.”
“How dare you imply an emotional response…”
“He called it right, Amano,” Harris said. “After all this time, you still grieve.” There was silence on the bridge. It was uncomfortable.
“Did it ever occur to you, this test wasn’t about winning?” Turgenev asked. “That is was about how we face death.”
“I have an artificial brain thing that tells you everything you need to know about my ability to face death,” Emmitt said. “I lost my Light in that. I am recovered.”
“And how would you treat the enemy that raped you? Murdered people in front of you?” Amano asked.
“I’d forgive them,” Emmitt said. “You’re not hiring Captain Ahab. I am not hunting white whales or trying to get even with all of Chaons. I will meet each encounter of aggression in the context of that situation. If Space Force declares war, I will win the war. I will always do my due diligence to behave within the context outlined by our charter and mission directives.” “Like a Doctor telling you stay in bed?” Harris asked.
“Exactly,” Emmitt chuckled. “There are always exceptions. I wasn’t sure I could get away with reprogramming the simulator twice.” And that was true. On many accounts. Now that he was sane and less manipulative.
“You will have to be punished. And sworn to secrecy,” Turgenev said. “We can’t have everyone knowing how to win.”
“There is only one way I see to contain this secret,” Harris said.
“Yep,” Turgenev said, extending her hand. “I am hereby promoting you to the rank of
Captain. Report to Star Command for assignment.”
“Seriously?” Emmitt asked. “You’re that hard up for Captains?”
“We’re losing the war with the Chaons. If what you’re doing isn’t working, maybe it’s time to implement cheats,” Turgenev said. “You got a problem with that?”
“Um, no, Admiral,” Emmitt said. He smiled. “Thank you.”
Very few people got to see the whole of ‘Control.’ It was piece mailed for security reasons; if they were showing Emmitt ‘Control,’ then he expected he was seeing less than ten percent. Buildings were governed by AI intelligence. There was a greater Android presence here than in other areas of Command. If it wasn’t for the Androids, humans would have likely been decimated by the Chaons sixty years ago, even without Galactic assistance. Most Androids wore something to identify themselves as androids. They didn’t have to. And they could look like any biological entity they desired. They could look like anything an enemy wanted them to look like. Andrea greeted him. He hugged on her sight, amazed to find her here. He even kissed her. “Tell me you can stay with me.” He suddenly realized, and hit himself for not realizing, all Androids on Earth work for a centralized Android