Chapter 11
Jon was met at the top of a pool as he clambered out onto the floor. Light from directly overhead spot lighted the pool. Arms came from the dark and helped to lift him to his feet. He was as dry as before going into the pool, but warm towels were wrapped around him as he was greeted by the strangers. He was led away from the pool, and the room became more distinct. He was greeted by female Farther. From a distance, she might easily have been mistaken for a human female. She had an hour glass figure, bubble butt, large bosom, and delicate facial features. Her exposed skin, on the neck, legs, and arms, seemed to sparkle. She wore a simple tunic top that exposed cleavage. She was tall enough that when she hugged Jon, he eyes barely saw over her shoulders. There were mirrors, and he saw the back of her hugging him. Her skin toned matched his during the hug, and as she released him, she returned to her natural blending of skin tones in a context to this light.
“Welcome to the world, son,” she said.
“Farther,” Jon said. “Thank you for greeting me.”
“Please, Candid. Mid-wife if you insist on formal, but not Farther,” Candid said.
“I am sorry. Has my friend…”
“Focus on you,” Candid said. “Why are you so fret? I have given birth to you in this form five times now, and you strike me as fret as a first timer.”
One of the nurses joked, calling him a womb lover. His eyes met hers and she chuckled louder, making hand gesture that said he could have access to her womb if he wanted. He rolled his eyes and returned his attention to Candid.
“I am sorry, I am probably still feral,” Jon said. He looked towards the pool for any evidence of life. The pool waters had calmed. The top of the pool was wider than the column below. The first time through he found the walls of the ceiling passage frightening, but when it opened up, his fear increased. He had panicked and pushed harder and thought he was going to breathe water.
Candid put a hand on his face and brought his eyes back to hers. “You are far from feral. Yeah, you still carry your fears and worries, but they don’t govern you. Why are you concerned about the woman?”
“I didn’t tell her everything,” Jon said.
“Oh, so you followed the rules. Good for you. You walked with her. That was not nothing,” Candid said.
“I killed in the underground. Two directly. One indirectly,” Jon said.
“If you’re wanting to carry it all, it was actually four. Two indirectly,” Candid said.
Jon was clearly puzzled. He was about to argue with her but turned to Eos in his mind. “Eos?!”
Eos arrived, like a ghost materializing. She bowed to Candid, she bowed to Jon. She didn’t waste time. She replayed the event- an overlay in his mind that allowed him and Candid to experience the encounter from a safer perspective. When Jon saw the fourth charging from beyond the gate, his face turned red with anger. If he hadn’t been holding the towel so tight, his hands might have revealed tremors.
“What the fuck! Why didn’t you alert me,” Jon said.
“I did the math and realized if I had given you information you would have hesitated,” Eos said. “Any further information to you or Heather would have likely ended up in you or her being dead. Or both.”
“Omission is tantamount to lying…”
“Jon,” Candid interrupted. “Whether it’s your brain, or an AI, you don’t have access to all the information all the time.”
“I can’t keep my charge safe if I don’t know things…”
“My job is to keep you safe,” Eos said. “I did the math. It worked out right. You’re alive. She is alive.”
“Well, she isn’t born yet,” Candid said.
Jon glared at Candid. He sorted his anger response and found it attached to an area of vulnerability- his desire to be needed, demonstrated by an ability to keep someone safe. He could not keep her safe. Leaving her had been more difficult than he had acknowledged. He felt failure. He felt as if this was a diverent point and he and Heather would drift away. Danger or the threat of danger brought them close again, but maybe too quick. How far would momentum carrying them away before cycling back… Would she come back, should he wait, should he just keep living? Tom Hanks was in his ear, ‘we just keep breathing.’ ‘Wilson!’
“Oh, Jon, perspective humor. Gallows humor,” Candid said.
“Forgive him, Candid. He is in love with the woman,” Eos said.
“He is in love with everyone,” Candid said.
“He really is,” Eos said.
“Well, good for him. It’s not like he is still in High School,” Candid said.
“Why is it that it seems like the people I want to love retreat from me?” Jon asked.
“You are pretty intense,” Eos said. “Laser intense. Not many people can stand up to that level of scrutiny.”
“She reminds me of Loxy in some ways…”
“Of course,” Eos said. “Loxy was modeled off your ideal. Heather has many attributes that excite those Christmas lights in your brain.”
“You should have been a Watcher, not a seeker,” Candid chuckled. “You do realize, if she comes out alright, she’ll be your sister.”
“May I get dressed now?” Jon asked.
“Sure,” Candid said.
Jon removed his clothes from his bag. They came out folded and pressed, the Torch still in the pocket. Jekel’s card was still in the jacket pocket; he stared at it a moment too long, which he measured by realizing Candid was giving him an inquiring eye. He put it back in the pocket. When he was dressed, another nurse brought him warm milk and cookies. He ate them while Candid and Eos spoke. Some of their exchange was medical in nature, discussing recent fluctuations of blood pressure and hormones.
“You really should indulge in more intimacy,” Candid said to Jon.
“Yeah, and when high-end, Real Dolls fall under a thousand, I’ll buy a surrogate,” Jon said.
“Oh! You would prefer a Doll to me?” Eos said.
“You’re a real person,” Candid said. “He’s afraid of you and has elevated you to archetypal status. Your blade is gold. You’re are the epitome of the Golden Dawn. Warrior. Queen. Lover. Healer.”
“I hope I am not Queen Dido,” Eos said.
“I am holding out for Loxy,” Jon said.
“In your dreams,” Candid said. “Loxy isn’t yours to hold.”
“Then why do I have access to all the memories of all the Jon’s that have spent time with her?” Jon asked. He looked to Eos: “Fuck, you hold back information about a charging dinosaur because it will kill me, but you download all these memories of Loxy into me?”
“Gift of the Torch. You needed to know you were loved, in more than one domain. You needed to know you’re not alone. You needed to know there are other worlds and others ways to get there,” Eos said. “She was the holder of the Torch, as you are now. She remains forever in the Torch, as you will. You are together forever, even when you can’t realize it. The gestalt of you and all the holders, external and internal, resulted in me, the personality interface. Together, we will manifest others. You must go through me to get to her and all the others available to you. We, together, are the context that allow others to stand.”
Jon was silent. He understood this part, intellectually. Emotionally, he was struggling. “I have heard her,” he said, somberly. “Loxy. It was more than memory. It sounded like she was speaking to me. Whispering to me. I responded. I have experienced kindness and reciprocity of intellectual interactions. Sometimes I think it wasn’t me, it was one of the other Jon’s and we think so much alike that I simply accepted those responses were mine. Sometimes I think it’s all just wishful thinking. Sometimes I think it’s me and her in real time…” Jon’s voice trailed off. There was a hint of sadness bubbling up. Then anger. “Sometimes I think I needed Loxy so I could be healed enough to love in this life. Telling others about Loxy doesn’t lend to sustainable relationship, and not telling about Loxy makes me seem broody and distant and unreliable.”
“You are wanted, Jon. It’s not about you. Other people are sorting their own life. We are where are,” Candid said. “Our circumstances birth us to where we need to be…”
“What the hell is taking her so long?”
Candid touched his arm. “You interrupted the process of us. You nearly gave birth to something important, but swallowed it back down. Return to our conversation.”
Jon frowned. “I lost it. I don’t know where we were…”
“If you don’t, who does?” Candid ask.
“Eos?!” Jon said.
“Today, I am Glenda,” Eos said. “I will tell you after you know.”
“Fuck, I am getting tired of that metaphor hitting me in the face,” Jon said.
“You love Glenda hitting you in the face,” Eos said.
“Can we check on Heather?” Jon asked.
“Let her come in her own time,” Candid said.
“She may have come right behind you, but the portal sent her into a future moment,” Eos pointed out.
“I love portals. They’re so temporally ambiguous,” Candid said.
“It feels like a plot contrivance for this meaningless dialogue,” Jon said.
“Oh!” Eos said. “Don’t invalidate us!”
“He has a point. I could give him that, provided we were taking a TARDIS 30 seconds into the future,” Candid said.
“Couldn’t we have just waited?” Eos played along, dropping into a British accent.
“Why? We have a TARDIS,” Candid said.
“You’re so American,” Eos continued.
“Oh! How dare you,” Candid said, imitating Jon.
Jon was not amused by their teasing him.
“Passenger,” one of the nurses said.
“Eos, take Jon to the waiting room,” Candid said.
“Come with me, Farther,” Eos joked with him, taking his arm and leading away.
There was a ramp down from the birthing room. Going down allowed them to visually recognize that the passage from the underground to the top of the birthing was only 2 and a ½ meters. He saw human legs ascending, a shirt floating back to the floor. Here in the waiting room were chairs. Namid and his First wife Sheros were there. Eos greeted them and retreated back to her ethereal world- the ether, where she interacted with the companions of those present, and the keeper of the room. Namid and Sheros greeted him with affection.
“Sometimes, Jon, I think you forget there is an afterlife,” Sheros said.
“Yeah, well, I am young,” Jon said.
“Compared to us, an infant,” Sheros said.
“Look on the bright side,” Namid said. “At least you don’t have to go t-hrough orientation every time you are reborn here.”
“Orientation here wasn’t so bad. You should try Safe Haven’s,” Jon said.
Namid smiled. “Anytime.”
“Do you want to orientate to a second discipline?” Sheros asked.
“Hell, no,” Jon said. “I am struggling to hold what I got.”
“Set it down,” Sheros advised.
“As if,” Jon said.
“You accomplished the walk before nightfall,” Namid said. “You robbed her of a night in the Underworld.”
“She’s not staying,” Jon said.
“We don’t know t-hat,” Namid said.
They both became aware that Sheros had tuned out of the conversation at the same time. They focused on her. If Jon squinted just right, he was aware that the Keeper of the Room was holding a private conversation with Sheros. Her eyes were distant, seeing beyond the room. When she came back, she smiled at the attention the men were giving her. She patted her husband on the arm.
“Excuse me. I must go up. She wants orientation.”
“Seriously?” Jon said.
“You were just saying, at least our orientation isn’t as bad as Safe Haven’s,” Namid reminded.
“Depends on what she chooses,” Sheros said. “You both only know the orientations you got. I have done them all.”
“Fuck. I thought she wanted to go home. You sponsored her. She doesn’t have to do this,” Jon said.
Sheros touched his arm. “Jon. Not your concern. You and Namid go home. I got this.”
निर्मित
The argument was ongoing and heated as Sheros entered. Heather was in the center of it, holding a towel tightly to herself as if she were cold. “She is still feral.” “She is sponsored, due to circumstantial strangeness.” “Mystery! Forced evolution. It is not our way.” “Since when? Every encounter is an opportunity to evolve.” “She did not truly face encounters. She walked with a Farther.” “This is acceptable.” “She walked with tech!” “Which belonged to the Farther!” “This is a cheat. Why is she even here?”
“I asked her to come into the light.”
They all orientated to Sheros. They bowed. Heather took her cue off the others. Her bow was subtler, nuanced with a flavor that this was not her custom. Sheros smiled at that, pushed in closer. Candid and the techs backed away as Sheros circled her.
“She learns fast,” Sheros said.
“She’s been coached,” the tech said. Her name was Orin. “Humans cheat.”
Sheros nodded, as if agreeing. “It is true we don’t hold humans to the same standard. Humans cannot do what we do.” She came back round. “Equality versus equanimity?”
“Are you asking me?” Heather asked.
“I am looking at you,” Sheros said.
“She comes from a world that believes men and women are equal,” Orin said.
“Aren’t we?” Heather asked.
“We are equal in birth and death, but our paths are radically different. Our opportunities of outcome are different,” Sheros said.
“Equal work for equal pay is reasonable,” Heather said.
Sheros stared at her, unflinching. Her head tilt suggested she was studying her, the way a bird might study something before eating it. The eye contact from both was unwavering. “What if there is no pay?”
Heather’s face didn’t hide her confusion. Orin chuckled. “She cannot hide her emotions.”
Sheros looked at her. “And you can?” She turned back to Heather. “What if there is no pay?”
“You mean, like volunteering?”
“Volunteering comes with compensation,” Sheros said. “Would you labor if you were not paid?”
“Why would anyone do that?”
Sheros nodded, finding it reasonable. “Love?”
“Wouldn’t that be compensation?” Heather asked.
“Have you ever loved?” Orin said.
“Have you?” Heather said.
Sheros grinned. She took Heather’s arm to lead her, but Heather pulled free and stepped back. Had she not been holding the towel so fiercely, she might have shoved Sheros.
“She is Feral as a Fritten,” Orin said again.
“Come, child, I want you to sit at that station. No harm will come to you,” Sheros said.
“I am not a child,” Heather said.
“I am 812 years old; you’re a child. You asked for Orientation. I am Fortunate, and I will measure you,” Sheros said.
“She didn’t ask for orientation,” Orin said.
Sheros looked to Candid. Candid blushed, her skin sparkling.
“She didn’t use those words,” Candid said. “I translated and inferred meaning.”
Sheros turned to Heather. “What precisely did you say?”
“I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi, like Jon,” Heather said. “Where is he?”
Sheros turned to Candid.
“It’s a valid request,” Candid said. “She wants to be a seeker and find Tech.”
“That’s not what she’s asking,” Orin said. “She is spinning mysticism and nonsense. She seeks something that doesn’t exist.”
“She is using a metaphor for something greater than self. Aren’t we all seekers in that regards?” Candid asked. “Isn’t that the compulsion to be born? Isn’t that why we walk the path?”
“You’re her advocate,” Sheros said.
“She advocates for everyone,” Orin said.
“You will be her devil,” Sheros said. “All three of you at the station. Please.”
Heather followed them to the station. Before she sat, Sheros touched Heather’s towel. The overlapping folds grasped her, as if Velcro was activated, and it tightened about her so that her arms and hands were free. Heather was instructed to sit. Sheros sat in front of her. There was a side table with glowing stones. Two were chosen. One was given to Candid, a luminescent blue, and another to Orin, a crimson glow. Sheros picked two new stones, one the color of Candid’s, the other the color of Orin’s, and offered them to Heather for holding.
“Oh, fuck me, tell me this isn’t some Scientology bullshit,” Heather said.
“Cargo cult, reaching for the stars. It is not bullshit,” Orin said.
Sheros searched Heather for understanding.
“Yes, those fuckers are nuts,” Candid said. “We are not.”
“Their protocols are based on our rituals. Their explanations, if you will, are fiction. Fiction doesn’t make it un-useful,” Sheros said. “Have you ever played with a Ouija board?”
“My parents would have killed me. They would say that’s the devil,” Heather said.
“What do you say?” Orin asked.
“I think people make it up,” Heather said.
“It’s communication with the right side of the brain,” Sheros said.
“I don’t understand,” Heather said.
Sheros did something without any visual tells that brought up a holographic image of a human brain. She saw recognition in Heather’s eyes. She provided a simple anatomy lesson, describing the brain, rotating the image as she did so. It was not just a simulated image. It was Heather’s brain.
“Human brain. Not too dissimilar from ours. Here is the Reptilian brain, which human brain is derived from. We share origin point. The tech you’re holding allows to communicate with that region- all the independent regions of your brain. We can communicate with each region of the brain, each hemisphere. All of this extra stuff, we have this, too- but not wrapped around reptilian brain. The extra processing power is distributed throughout our bodies and skin, allowing us to see without seeing, to camouflage. To adapt. You, too, have brain cells diffused through the body. The heart is more than a pump. Is a second memory center, the source of emotions and light. You do not see this heart light, but we do. Your heart light extends out ten feet from your body, and it affects everyone in your proximity. With every breath out, you release neurotransmitters, the air around you communicates you- there is a field of you. Physical, electrical. Some people can extend their electrical field merging with the bio essence of other fields. Some people can extend their heart range by amplifying through the Earth’s magnetic field. Anyway, I show you all of this to highlight the corpus callosum. In severe epileptics, it is possible to remove the callosum to prevent seizures. Human have done this. It works. In doing so, humans discovered that each hemisphere is capable of independent thinking. They discovered two different personalities, radically opposed to each other. The left hemisphere has vocabulary. The right hemisphere is mute, but it is capable of understanding and communicating with sign, with spelling- Oujia board. Oujia Board can be done solo, but with another, you get a gestalt of brain and subconscious. Right brains never lie. They can be misinterpreted. Your subconscious mind is easier to speak with than conscious mind. There is you, holding this. There are others in you watching, wondering- and though you may want something to happen in your life- the others have say. For you to advance in our society, you must have consensus within yourself first. For you to stay with us as a participant, you must have consensus with us.”
“She would not be here if she didn’t have minimum consensus,” Candid said.
“I was brought here against my will,” Heather said…
A red spotlight illuminated them and faded out.
“That would be a no, you were not brought here involuntarily,” Sheros said. She read words that scrolled across a screen orientated towards her. It was an ancient script only she could read. Candid could decipher some of the words. “Consensus was arrived. Majority over ruled your wants.”
“What majority?”
“Your heart. You lungs. Your right brain. Your subconscious. All of Jon- except Jon. He had no choice in reaching out to you. It was decided before he was even aware that he was deciding,” Sheros said.
“She cannot deal with this level of transparency,” Orin said. “She will go insane.”
“She will be fine. She is a seeker,” Candid said.
“Do you wish to continue?” Sheros said.
“I am not sure…”
A green spotlight flared on them. She read the statement on her screen.
“Let her decide,” Sheros said to the air. “Heather, your voice here will be the final say. Today you are sovereign 100 percent. You speak for yourself. You speak for a nation. You speak for all of you, those who were you, and those who will become you. Do you wish to continue?”
Silence followed that question. Heather had not heard so much silence in her own being before. It was so strange that her first thought was she was ill and about to pass out. There was no sound of heart beating in her ears- a level of silence that felt like being separate from her body. It was like being in a dream and realizing she was dreaming- only instead of joy, she felt the huge weight of responsibility, as if her next decision would change the entire Universe. She would wake up, or die.
“She can be silent. She can hear herself,” Candid said.
“That’s not silence. That’s hesitation, influenced by fear,” Orin said.
Heather glared at Orin.
“That’s anger,” Orin said.
“Anger and fear are valid emotional states that need recognition to be resolved,” Candid said.
“Suppression is a valid response,” Orin said. “It shows mastery of ones emotions.”
“Letting go is a form of acceptance,” Candid said.
“It delays the inevitable,” Orin said. “Only direct, unadulterated truth is liberty.”
“Deliberation with compassion is also a valid path,” Sheros said. She held a hand up to end the debate. She looked to Heather.
“I want to know more, but I don’t know what to ask,” Heather said.
“Fortunately for you, I am Fortunate,” Sheros said. “I will guide.”