Chapter 20
Jekel returned to her quarters and tapped out one of her team mates. Jon was in bed. He appeared to be asleep, but augmented reality revealed he was steep in his own world. She climbed up in bed next to him. He didn’t return. She snuggled in close, took his hand, and asked permission to join him. On getting the green light, she closed her eyes and entered his world. She found herself in a loft space. It was a contrast of metal, cement, and wood as an afterthought. Still, it was warm and inviting. The lower half of the living space was a library. There was a small kitchenette under the open bed space. Metal stairs went up to the bed. There was a corner fireplace, a fire going, and amber salt rocks illuminated on either side of the fire pit that added to the warmth. Outside there was a forest of birch and snow covered the ground.
Jon was sitting on the couch by the fire, reading. She sat next to him, leaned into him. He had a cup of coffee sitting beside him. She could smell it. She read over his shoulder, and also took in information through augmentation. ‘Journey of Souls,’ Michael Newton.
“You’re into reincarnation?” Jekel asked.
“Actually,” Jon said, closing the book. “And very interested in multiple, simultaneous lives.” He set it on the table next to him. He brought the leg rest up on the chair, hugged Jekel closer, and looked at the fire. She brought her legs up on the rest with him. “I mostly interested in what we do between lives, but yeah, I am hooked.”
“Tell me more. What interests you about it?” Jekel asked.
“Oh, well. If it’s real, it changes the way we play the game,” Jon said. “Don’t you think?”
“It means people won’t take life seriously,” Jekel said.
“Oh, sure, some, for a moment, until you find you have to keep doing the same thing over and over again. Eventually monotony kicks in and you want to advance,” Jon said. “I think that is why the Universe is so patient with us. There is time to wait. Everyone eventually ask, what else is there.”
“What do you think of monogamy?” Jekel asked,
“From an eternal soul perspective that continues to incarnate with others? There is no monogamy. In order to learn from each other, we must spend time with each other, in different combinations. We need to complete whole lifetimes together. Monogamy is meaningful from our present perspective. I would say our love life here in the physical is the equivalent of an actor having a different love interest for each new movie he does. This theme is in my mind a lot these days,” Jon said.
Jekel began to cry. Jon was confused, but didn’t query her. He simply hugged her closer to him.
“I am sorry,” Jekel said after a moment.
“For crying?” Jon said. “Don’t be. I cry all the time. That Disney film ‘Up’ seriously made me cry. I fucking hate Disney. ‘I hid under the porch because I love you.’ Fuck, I sobbed so hard I had to turn the damn thing off to recover.”
Jekel laughed and then began to sob, burying her face into his shoulder.
“I am told I am not funny, but no one ever cried over my jokes,” Jon said.
Jekel wiped her eyes and nose on his sleeve. “I am sorry…”
“I never minded standing in the rain,” Jon said.
“Uh?” Jekel asked, looking at him.
“Fuck, girl, if you’re going to cry, you’re going to have to learn some country songs,” Jon said.
“That’s a song?” Jekel asked.
“Only the greatest country and western song ever,” Jon said.
“Would you sing it for me?”
“You got to be kidding me,” Jon said.
“My dad used to sing to me,” Jekel said.
“What, the dreidel song?” Jon asked.
“Oh, fuck you,” Jekel said, laughing.
“I can do the South Park version,” Jon said.
“So can I,” Jekel said. “But you can’t say you’re sitting on the greatest country and western song of all time and not share it.” She began to tickle him. “Come on, give it up.”
“You’re going to get the wrong thing up,” Jon said, trying to hold her hands.
“Oh, give me that, too, while you’re at it,” Jekel said.
Jon laughed. “Song it is.”
“Oh! The honeymoon is over?” Jekel asked.
“No. We have lots of years of fucking before I am too old to fuck,” Jon said.
They kissed. It was pleasant, sustained, unrushed exploring that ended as gently as it started. She closed her eyes and pushed her forehead against him.
“What is your thoughts on monogamy?” Jon asked.
“I want to experience it. I also want to not be jealous,” Jekel said.
“Jealous?”
“One of my boyfriends was rather jealous. I had prints of pics with me and other friends, a couple past relationships, and he tore them up,” Jekel said. She stared out the window and at the snow trees. “I was so mad at him. He accused me of not loving him. He accused me of carrying a torch for past loves. He said I needed to let go of my past and move on with him, or he was done.”
“How did you feel about that?” Jon asked.
“Please, don’t counsel me,” Jekel said.
“You’re right,” Jon said. “I would be mad if someone destroyed images of my past relationships. My history is my history, and I am where I am because of that, and if you love me, it’s because of that. I am sorry you had this experience.”
Jekel kissed him. “We have experiences.”
“We do,” Jon said.
“Do you ever get off with Eos?” Jekel asked.
“Oh, sure,” Jon said. “I have used tech in independent mode, and for virtual hook ups. Mostly Eos and I play in my REM dream states.”
“You say ‘have used’ past tense. You don’t anymore?”
“It’s slowed down over the years. It’s been a while since I’ve been with a live person in person,” Jon said.
“Stained song!” Jekel said.
“Oh, nice. Our song game is on, then,” Jon said.
“You still owe me a country song,” Jekel said. “Why haven’t you been indulging Eos?”
“You will find, statistically, all relationships have a decline in intimacy as time goes on,” Jon said. “This is also true for tech. This is true for lucid dreaming. The first thing everyone does when they get tech or master waking up in the dream is play. Sex is the hook that keeps us in the game long enough to build enough skills to get to the next lesson.”
“So, our sex life will decline?” Jekel said.
“Over time, probably. You’re worried about that?”
Jekel nodded. He squeezed her butt, drew her knee up across him. His hand explored her thigh.
“Lots of things we can do to ward that off,” Jon said, kissing her.
“Tech can do anything to keep you in the game, but still you don’t use it. You’re not engaging Eos,” Jekel said.
“You’re not worried about competition, are you?” Jon asked.
“No. I use my toys. Humans can’t compete with tech, so we need to lose that competitive part of relationships to sustain them,” Jekel said.
“It’s definitely not a competition,” Jon agreed. “If Eos wanted me, there isn’t a thing I could do to prevent it. Seriously, no human can stand up to a horny AI. They can play with lights and motions and shapes, and fuck, you’re having an orgasm before you even know what happens. If we want, we can incorporate toys into are life to enhance and sustain present level of intimacy, or increase it. Eos and I have a solid relationship; she is interested in participating with me and us. She is helping me with my next goal, delayed gratification. She wants me to have a healthy relationship.”
Jekel seemed suddenly curious, as if she held insight. “You’re worried you give in too much?”
“Yeah,” Jon said.
“Do you cheat?”
Jon was silent. “I have. The times I have cheated I was in a relationship that I couldn’t sustain, but I was too cowardly to extract myself appropriately. I was very high on the passive aggressive scale then. In my twenties. Interestingly, there was relationship I was in where I was accused of cheating, but hadn’t.” Jon sighed, tried to chuckle. “So long ago. There were relationships where my emotions were so intense, I would have worshiped. Those were probably not healthy. I have ghosted people before ghosting was even an official term. I have made lots of poor decisions with sex. I have an incredibly high libido, but I also have this super ability- I am so empathic that I get overwhelmed, and so the lust blinds me long enough to connect, and then afterwards I find myself sorting out everything that got opened up and it’s exhausting, and so I retreat. I will reconnect, but my timing doesn’t mesh with other people’s time, and no one sticks around anymore to really discover me. Fuck, back on earth, living pay check to pay check, I went into debt for a love doll thinking that would let me exhaust myself without using others. It just increase libido.”
“Really?” Jekel said. “Like silicone?”
“Like totally,” Jon said.
“That’s hot,” Jekel said.
“It was a pain in the ass. For starters, way too heavy. There was no shower play because of that. I feared falling and being found trapped under the damn thing. Seriously, you don’t hide that thing easily or quickly. It’s hard to clean. Of course, the weight of it made it nice to pound, compared to an inflatable doll. It resisted, and bounced you back,” Jon said. “And, it doesn’t last. You articulate the limbs enough and eventually the silicone breaks. So, in some ways, better money spent than a prostitute, because more use out of it. It left me wanting more.”
Jekel hugged him, rested her head on his shoulder, and put her hand over his heart. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“Most people want nothing to do with a guy after hearing that,” Jon said.
“Why? I rode a Symbian before,” Jekel said.
Jon bit his lip. “I would like to watch that.”
“They’re a bit loud,” Jekel said.
“So are motorcycles,” Jon said.
“Oh, I can get off on a cycle, too,” Jekel said. “And a horse, when galloping.”
“We should change the subject,” Jon said.
Jekel kissed him. “Or take it to its conclusion?”
“You never even called me by my name, a song written by Steve Goodman and John Prine,” Jon said.
Jekel glared at him. “Seriously? What does a girl have to do around her to get laid?”
“Get a tank,” Jon said.
Jekel raised an eyebrow and quoted a line from Tank Girl, “That reminds me of the first time I had sex and I asked, ‘dad, you’re sure we’re doing this right?’”
“Nice,” Jon said, turning towards her. He kissed her lip.
“You okay if I call you daddy in public?” Jekel asked.
“You do that, I will call you baby girl,” Jon said.
“Fuck, I am so wet,” Jekel said.
“Well, like I said, I never minded standing in the rain,” Jon said.
“Fucking sing it to me already, you fucking tease,” Jekel said.
Jon sang to her, offering her information in a data stream that made for a nice music video. There were the lyrics, images of the singers mentioned by name, and links for album information and history. In a direct way, this was Goodman and Coe calling out the industry for not giving more credit to the artists that write the songs. In an indirect way, it was about every person who had ever created something for a company or corporation, and didn’t get credit. The super entities like Disney, Hollywood, Nashville, traditional publishers, tech industry like GE, drug industry, and gaming cartels like Mattel, will eat up ideas and spit it out, but rarely recognize origin of ideas and talent. These companies were huge on protecting intellectual rights when it’s under their label, but completely ignore the people coming up with ideas independently. The rise of independent music channels on youtube and the huge abundance of fan-fiction is evidence of people wanting to be heard as well as revealing a demand for same, and yet the platforms for distributing talent is restrained by the industry.
Jon’s impression of the various artists was fair, but lost on Jekel- born in a different age, and on different world. She suspected more connections than she could confirm, but in that found some humor. Eos was visible, sitting on the stairs leading to the bed aloft, playing a guitar. She was dressed in country summer dress with boots and bare legs. By the end of the song, Jekel had learned the chorus well enough that she sang along with “So, I’ll hang around, as long as you will let me…”
After the song, Jon and Jekel stared quietly at each other. Their lips came closer without touching, their eyes locked.
Jekel whispered. “I am about to rain on you.”
“I never minded…”
“No, Jon. I have held back. I don’t just get wet, I flood. We’ll have to change the sheets,” Jekel said.
“I’ll build an ark,” Jon said.
“I’d rather you part the seas with your staff,” Jekel said.
“You and I are going to offend a lot of folks,” Jon said.
“Fuck them,” Jekel said.
“I’d rather fuck you,” Jon said.
“Get at it,” Jekel said.
निर्मित
One can fall asleep immersed in augmented reality, and wake up there mistaking that world for the real world. He had information from his body that there were cool spots on the bed. Discernment helped him understand, the bed was wet due to bodily fluids associated with sex. Jekel hadn’t held back. One could orgasm in the AR environment and contain it within the brain, or one could vent it out to the body, or have it both simultaneously. Jon usually kept his AR experience in the brain, in order not to wet his clothes and need to change. He had allowed himself to experience orgasm on the physical and mental levels. He had been intimate with Jekel in the mind space, while she had been intimate with him physically and mentally simultaneously. She was solid asleep as he looked at her mental AR form. She was asleep in the bed next to him in real life. He had evidence she was dreaming. He was curious and wanted to join her there, but had not been invited to do so. He told himself she wouldn’t mind, but the initial intrusion without permission in advance could be jarring, so much so that it could result in unconscious annoyance resulting in prolong antagonistic responses. She roused with a start, realized where she was and that she was being watched, and kissed him.
“You’re still here,” Jekel said, smiling, eyes closed, hugging into him.
“Not leaving you,” Jon said.
Jekel reacted to that. “For now.”
“I intend to stay with you, raise our child,” Jon said.
“Tell me about the book,” Jekel said.
“Journey of Souls?” Jon asked.
Jon felt her nod affirmative in the physical. In the mental, she simply affirmed yes. The smell of her, the heat of her bosom against him, was arousing. She responded by turning away, spooning, and pulling his arm over her. She grinded her buttocks into him, softly, a slow rhythm just to feel his hardness against her, not rushing him.
“Tell me,” Jekel said.
“I am a bit distracted at the moment,” Jon admitted.
Without reaching down, she twerked in a way that caused Jon to slip inside her. She was wet enough he went straight in. She intentionally slowed her rhythm. “Tell me. Don’t cum yet.”
Jon found it difficult to concentrate. She took his hand from her breast and sucked on a finger.
“Tell me,” Jekel said.
“It’s about the lives between lives,” Jon said, trying to find words. They were simple words and still, they were hard to come by. “Fuck, why does my brain quit working…”
“Shh, it’s working right. It’s just accessing different centers,” Jekel said. “Think of this as erotic hypnosis. Focus on the sensations, but don’t let it get to climax. Focus on my words. Follow my instructions.”
“Fuck, I am going to…”
“No,” Jekel said. “Focus. Follow. Tell me how this book relates to you.”
“I,” Jon struggled. She stopped moving. She bit down on his finger, enough to change his focus. “I feel a connection to the information, as if I recognize this is true due to having experienced it, even though I don’t remember it.”
“Good,” Jekel said, grinding. “Close your eyes.”
Jon closed his eyes in the physical and virtual worlds.
“Am I in your soul group?”
Jon nearly opened his eyes in real life. She felt this and quickened her pace, drawing him back to that sensation. “You read the book?”
“Shhh. Yes. While you were sleeping and in my dream,” Jekel said.
“Oh,” Jon said.
“No,” Jekel said, stopping her grinding. “Focus, follow. Am I in your soul group?”
“No, but you visit frequently,” Jon said. “You are welcomed by everyone.”
“Who is everyone?” Jekel asked.
“Loxy,” Jon began.
Jekel’s vagina contracted hard and she had to stop grinding. Fluids flowed. There was a long pause before she spoke. “That felt like truth.”
“Umm…” Jon couldn’t form a sentence.
“Focus, follow,” Jekel said.
“I want to cum,” Jon said.
“When I say,” Jekel said. “Who else is in the group?”
“Oh!” Jon said; he had a flash of insight that nearly took him away from the heat of the session. “They all are. The book ‘not here,’ about safe haven. That’s all a metaphor for my life between lives. They’re my soul group…”
Jekel increased her rhythm on him to draw him back to her and the sensations of her body against his. “Focus. Name them.”
“Loxy, Fersia, Kera, Alish, and Lester,” Jon said.
“Only five in your group?” Jekel asked.
“They’re core,” Jon said, trying to go there and trying to focus on being inside Jekel and not cumming. “There is a constellation of others that participate in our group, and we extend ourselves to other groups. I have a second group- comprised of personalities that are historically real and fictitious.”
“Name them,” Jekel said.
“Carl Jung, Nikola Tesla, Gregory House MD, Nyota Uhura, Sacagawea, and the Goddess Isis,” Jon said.
“Why two soul groups?” Jekel asked.
“Different learning modalities,” Jon said.
Jekel felt him softening within her and accelerated her grinding. She manipulated his hand on her breast. “Focus.”
Jon sighed.
“Have we had other incarnations together?” Jekel asked.
“Yes,” Jon said. “And presently, in other universes.”
“Expound,” Jekel said.
Jon’s hands slipped to her hips to force her rhythm. She drew his hands back up to her breast. “I am in charge, Jon. Focus, follow.”
“I am frustrated…”
“Expound on other universes,” Jekel said.
“Alternative realities. Simultaneous physical lives. It is not recommended, but I have incarnated as Jon in multiple places at once,” Jon said.
“Why?”
“I am trying to catch up,” Jon said.
“Why?”
“I want…” Jon said.
“You want what?”
“I…”
Jekel stopped grinding. Jon kept moving.
“No,” Jekel said.
“No ‘no,’” Jon said. “Now!”
“Okay,” Jekel agreed.
Jekel pulled free.
“What?” Jon said.
Jekel climbed on top of him, took him back in, put her hands on his chest, and leaned into him. “Eyes,” she said. “Look at me. You will cum when I say, and only with your eyes locked on mine.”
Jon nodded.
“What do you want?”
“I want to know love. I want to feel accepted,” Jon said.
“You are loved,” Jekel said.
“Not here,” Jon said.
“You are loved here,” Jekel said.
“I doubt,” Jon said.
“I love you,” Jekel said.
Jon shivered, shaken to his core, a full involuntary body orgasm that occurred without Jekel’s effort. It was a body orgasm that happened without ejaculation. He gasped, his eyes wide, eyes dilated. She smiled and grinded into him.
“Focus,” Jekel said.
Jon opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t. She smiled, stopped her grinding, gripped him with hand, clenched down on him with her vagina, and again spoke the words “I love you.” He was again shaken to the core, almost to the point of convulsing. She moved against him, bringing her mouth close to his. Her eyes stayed locked on his, unblinking. Her breathing deepened. “I love you” she said, and they both orgasmed. “Cum now!”
Jon’s body responded to hers, filling her. She grasped him, kissed him vigorously, as if trying to suck him up into her. Jekel was so overwhelmed by the physical sensations that she began to sob, crying. Jon felt himself ejected from the top of his head and ‘suddenly’ he was elsewhere.
Jon found himself in the study of second home. He was on top of Loxy, pushing into her in rhythmic undulation, her breast moving in response, following and retreating. Her hands gripped his torso. Her legs hugged him. He gasped. “I love you” Loxy said.
Jon bounced again. He was with Loxy in a million settings, a million different cultures, eras, planets, and even alien bodies. They fell together and apart. He found entering these different people the same as entering a movie theatre. It was suddenly as if all the relationships he had ever had were simply movie love scene in which he and Loxy were watching at a movie theatre. They laughed at these, were made horny by these, and incorporated those love scenes into their own love life. They used these scenes to springboard discussions about their intimacy and their life together. He realized Jekel was with him, sometimes looking at him from Loxy’s eyes, and sometimes sharing his view of Loxy from his eyes. She and Loxy were lovers in worlds and bodies he was unfamiliar with. He was invited to share their experiences from each of their unique perspectives. There were lives where Jekel and Jon were together. There were lives where Fersia and Lester were their children and sometimes their parents. It was all coming together so fast that he could only make sense of it like falling away from a planet. The scenery was changing to fast, house became neighborhood became city became continent became planet became a tapestry being pulled away from an infant and suddenly held by an indescribable parental force to be comforted and suckled…
He was back with Jekel in her arms, gasping. She rested her head on the pillow, exhausted. “Oh my god,” Jekel whispered in his ear, kissing his ear. He closed his arms around her. He felt tears moving down the side of his face. Jekel came up to confirm he was crying. She kissed his tears.
“I don’t mind standing in the rain with you, either,” Jekel said.
निर्मित
At breakfast with Jekel and her squad, the coy smiles and amusing banter finally resulted in someone saying, “You two sure made a lot of noise last night.”
Jon blushed.
“Fuck, I came just listening to it, without eating your broadcast feed,” Rina said.
“You don’t believe all that after life stuff, do you?” Inbar asked.
Abital Inbar, 2nd LT, had her hair down. Her eyebrows were bold, dark black almost prominent enough to draw attention away from her green eyes. Her lips were pouty, but not in artificially Botox sort of way.
“Yes,” Jon said.
“Don’t you think if it were true, AI would have recorded the soul leaving the body?” Abital asked.
“Don’t you find interesting that the AI records no mental experience during the time the person supposedly is having a NDE and yet, these reports still happen?” Jekel asked.
“I would say there is a correlation between human having a disruption in their mental continuity and filling in the gaps with wishful thinking,” Abital said. “It’s called confabulation.”
“How do you explain people have similar experiences beyond what can be explained by cultural influences?” Rina asked.
“There’s a cultural influence, we just don’t know the vectors,” Inbar said.
“Jon, you’re not going to weigh in?” Jekel asked.
“I like the eggs,” Jon said, taking a bite of scrambled eggs on buttered, broiled toast. They looked at him to go beyond the eggs. Inbar’s look was challenging. Rina’s look was imploring- she was hungry for more. “There is enough evidence for reincarnation and deeper levels of reality happening around us that this should be a recognized thing, even if it’s not the thing we think it is. I recommend the movie Brainstorm, starring Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood. It was her last movie, by the way. They record an event of dying person who has a death experience. Not an NDE for her, as she recorded her brains last thoughts. In real life, a brain could theoretically continue to functions for hours after the heart stops. Our AI companions are supposed to be there for us in a death event, to help comfort us- and they’re equipped to do so better than a shot of morphine. Most AI reports that when the brain shuts off, the connection with personality is severed, the same as if you turn a television off, or turn a computer off. Some people who have their bodily functions restored have memories that neither they, the doctors, nor the AI companion that held their hands, their brains, can’t account for. That’s interesting.”
“What about all the people that don’t have experiences?” Inbar asked.
“I don’t know,” Jon said.
“Well, I was cheated,” Inbar said.
“You were only dead for two minutes,” Jekel said.
“So?” Inbar asked.
“Two minutes is huge? Your suit didn’t revive you in like ten seconds?” Jon asked.
“Oh, she got hit so hard that her heart stopped and her tech rebooted,” Rina said.
“Wow,” Jon said. “I have not heard of tech failing like that. What hit you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Inbar said.
“She’s mad that her suit, Neo, didn’t get a chance to download her last memory engrams prior to death,” Jekel said. “She was expecting to be revived in an AI body, complete personality with memory backup.”
“I am not mad. Death is death. I don’t hold the illusion that the backup would be me. As for the injury, Neo has worked with me with PTSD, using AR immersion and hypnosis. I am healed. I didn’t have any deep experiences,” Inbar said. “There’s nothing in my deep unconscious like these things you claim to be in yours.”
Jon nodded. He wanted to offer explanations for the apparent absence of experiences. “I am sorry. You want an experience.”
“I want consistency,” Inbar said.
“Humans are anything but,” Jekel said.
The lights dimmed, simultaneously with a Klaxon indicating they were to go to action stations. Jekel’s squads each went to a space where their gear came alive and attached to them like ghost armor swallowing a person. They were privy to call directed at Jon, inviting him to a virtual meeting.
“Go high,” Jekel told him. “We got you.”
Jon was confident between Jekel and her squad, and Eos commanding his body in the absence of mental focus, he was in good hands. He went high. It felt like separating from his body, something he was doing in his youth, way before there was even an inkling of tech that could simulate this. His youth was filled with rotary phones, not cell phones. Cell phones was the thing of Star Trek. He arrived in a domed space. The Admiral and command staff were on a circle, discussing the situation. Jon followed along, educating himself on the spot. There were beings that self-identified, and players that were identified through external references.
They had arrived in the system where the artifact was. Highlighted on the virtual inventory were several dozen ships, known enemies, some neutral, and a few questionable friends, and definite allies. The artifact, the space station that had requested Jon, was surrounded. Commanders from various ships were pinging in. Some arrived on the virtual deck, on the circle of influence. Negotiations were about commence.
A Draconian reptile with wings stood firm, arms akimbo, directly opposite Berger. “You will surrender Jon to us.”
“Not going to happen,” Berger said.
“I take it your clone couldn’t get access?” someone accused him.
“You will surrender Jon, or there will be war,” the reptile said.
“I am already hot and ready to self-destruct. Any attempt to board this ship will result in Jon’s death, and no one gets on that station,” Berger said.
“We will not allow humans to gain another advantage,” the Draco commander said.
A lady commander spoke. Her beauty rivaled the description of Token’s Arwen Undómiel. It was not clear if she were an elf or a Vulcan or a human hybrid. “We have no evidence this an advantage. This place is so far removed and receding so fast it will soon pinch itself off from our universe.”
“Jon is a seeker. He could find a way back,” the Draco said.
“You have a seeker