Chapter 9
Hali’s apartment was luxurious, residing in the upper most ring. And inner balcony overlooked a luscious, green park. The outer wall looked out into space. There was living area, the master bedroom, and two guest rooms. Lilith wanted to walk in the park and dragged Jon with her. They came across a lake, where she took her clothes off and dived in, and was begging Jon to join her when security came and asked her to come out of the lake and put her clothes back on. They gave her a warning. She got Jon alone by a tree.
“You think if you and I play here in the park, I’ll get another warning?” Lilith asked.
“Let’s get back,” Jon said.
Hali and Loxy were talking at the table. There was food prepared. Jon’s eyes bounced between his guest room and the food. It was really difficult to decide what he was more hungry for.
“Sit,” Hali insisted.
“Maybe I should see a doctor,” Jon said.
Hali made a call and they ate while they waited for the house call. A doctor arrive. He did a full scan. Then he took out an archaic tool and listened directly to Jon’s heart. He put away his toys and sat down to read over the numbers.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you,” he said. “You’re perfectly healthy, horny, teenage boy.”
“Excuse me,” Jon said. “I am like fifty years old!”
“You are nothing like fifty years old,” the Doctor argued. “Except maybe in appearance. I would have guessed forty, but, yeah, I believe fifty.”
“But,” Jon said.
“Look, you’re a clone. Maybe the original has mastered some restraint due to environment necessity and availability of partners,” the Doctor said. “You are not restrained by environment or lack of partners. You have about standard level inhibition. You’re being influenced by Lilith’s hormones, who is influenced by yours. The two of you are perfectly tuned biofeedback system. You’re confined to a small living area where boredom might increase libido. Nothing wrong with you.”
“Can you give me a pill to bring it back a notch?” Jon asked.
“No!” Lilith and Loxy said.
“Son, just keep doing what you’re doing. It will decline on its own. You will find your normal range in time. If you get desperate, you can always marry them both. Marriage always kills the sex drive.”
“Not in my home,” Lilith said.
“Most of the pilots I treat I have to scold because they don’t exercise. Your present cardiovascular routine is better than any training program on the market,” the Doctor said. “Keep it up.”
“Literally,” Amy said.
“And figuratively,” Lilith said.
“Ahh, to be young again,” the Doctor said. “Do you ever pimp out your bot?” “Um, no!” Jon said.
“We could negotiate,” Amy said.
“No! Technically, she’s my android, and I haven’t even had a turn yet,” Jon said.
“You’re dying,” Amy said, teasingly.
“OMG, so am I!” Lilith said.
“Would you three retire and get over with?” Hali pleaded.
The three of them rushed to their guest room like teenagers given a green light. Four hours later, Jon emerged, casually dress in street clothes which Lilith had bought while out. He stumbled around the kitchen for a snack, an apple, and glass of tea. He retired to an alcove that pushed out from the main apartment, sat on the couch overlooking space, and propped his feet up. He finished the apple and put it on the napkin he had secured. Hali startled him.
“May I sit with you?” she asked.
“Please,” Jon said.
Hali sat by him, put her feet up. She withdrew a cigar and offered him one. He accepted. She withdrew a second. She clipped the ends off both, lit hers, and then lit his with hers. She leaned back, blowing smoke rings towards the glass.
“Thank you for staying on with me,” Hali said.
“Thank you for my life,” Jon said. “I am sorry for the troubles I caused you. I am grateful.”
“Jon,” Hali said, kindly. “In context of your first run, had you not tried to renegotiate your contract, I would have fired you. Haggling is part of the game.”
“Tell me about Keets,” Jon said.
“Do you really want to spend our time discussing another man?” Hali asked.
“He’s not just another man, he was the previous man?” Jon asked.
“He was a client. He didn’t negotiate. I continued to increase the difficulty level of his assignments. He became resentful, but he never stood up for himself. Then he jumped ship, joined the militia, and instead of taking my orders, he now takes orders from others. And he’s doing well. He does what they ask, and then he gets promoted,” Hali said. “Pretty simple. He’s still not happy. And he still blames me. And, he thinks he is saving others from me every time he recruits a pilot.”
“Did you like him?” Jon asked.
“Enough I kept working with him. I had the chance to trade him with a colleague, who had this pup he wanted to be rid of. He convinced me Keets problem is he doesn’t like orders from women,” Hali said.
“Why didn’t you?” Jon asked.
“Loyalty,” Hali said.
Jon and Hali sat quietly, almost finishing their cigar.
“Did you sleep with Keets?” Jon asked.
“Does it matter?” Hali asked.
“No,” Jon said. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” “I didn’t sleep with him,” Hali said.
“Why are you out here, and not on a paradise world?” Jon asked.
“I am not Kelindy. I am mixed. I don’t really fit in anywhere. Most worlds, I am a giant and people get disturbed being around me. The few places I can fit in, well, I am rather small, and stand out. At best, they treat me like a child. At worst, well, Biocorp provided me a home and work, and I am happy,” Hali said.
“You’re happy?” Jon asked.
“Yeah, mostly,” Hali said.
“It’s lonely out in space,” Jon said.
“On such a timeless flight,” Hali said.
“Oh!” Jon said.
“It was in your queue,” Hali said. “I’ve been doing homework. Really, it’s a great thing about pre-singularity worlds. They generate the greatest art, songs, and stories.” “They have high levels of depression, suffering,” Jon said.
“Maybe that’s where it comes from,” Hali said.
“Yeah, the Van Gogh argument. Cure his depression, he still has his ear and his life, but we don’t have art. I don’t like that argument,” Jon said.
“Life after singularity, people kind of loose their edge, net creativity goes down,” Hali said. “And you would imagine there would be more, with greater interlinked interaction patterns.”
Their cigars finished, she handed Jon her glass of wine. He sampled it. Nodded, then took a bigger sip, and handed it back. She held it, looking at it.
“That’s impressive,” Hali said.
“What, that I drank wine?” Jon asked.
“You drank my wine,” Hali said.
“You made that?” Jon asked.
“No, I meant, you will drink after me, or eat after me, like you did earlier,” Hali said.
“I am sorry,” Jon said.
“I like that,” Hali said. “I could eat off your plate and you wouldn’t care?”
“In the past, wouldn’t bother me, now, well, I might fight you for it I am so hungry,” Jon said. “God, I am so worried I am going to get fat.”
“Many clones do,” Hali said. “Men tend to get fat if they’re not getting enough sex. You should balance out.”
Jon shared more of her wine. He was aware that she was sitting closer to him. Anytime either tried to make direct eye contact the other had their eyes in the stars. He felt a like child sitting next to her. The difference in size brought with it the allure of the taboo of being with the older, more experienced partner. This wasn’t that, but it had overtones to that, which was probably more about what was in Jon’s head than what was in a reality. In reality, most species don’t really care about nuances. Hell, some species will mate with you and then eat you, he thought. There were stories of giants consuming humans. Another hidden want, being with a vore.
“So, shall we consummate our agreement?” Hali asked.
“You don’t have to,” Jon said.
“A contract is a contract,” Hali said. “Kind of like a marriage, only better defined.” “Even in a marriage, no means no,” Jon said.
“Are you saying no?” Hali asked.
“I never say no,” Jon said.
“Never?”
“Okay. Rarely say no,” Jon said.
“Are you saying no now?” Hali asked.
“No! Yes, no, wait,” Jon said. “OMG, Hali, I am aroused, I want to. Loxy is awake, in my head, saying ‘just kiss her already.’ I have people in my head, Hali.”
“So do I,” Hali said. “Elton Jon was wrong.” “What?” Jon asked.
“It’s not lonely out in space,” Hali said.
“Funny,” Jon said. He leaned in, as if he might kiss her, but paused. “My experience with technology, the greater the level of connectivity, the greater the loneliness.”
“Yeah,” Hali said. “Unlonely me.”
Jon kissed Hali. Hali kissed back. It was incredibly measured kiss, subtly nuanced in a teasing exploration that grew into an urgency that had them suddenly on the floor. Hali laughed, got up, took his hand, and helped him up. She led him to her room, dimly lit with artificial candles. Their exploration of each other continued on the bed.
Chapter 10
Repairs completed, Biocorp expedited Onuka’s departure, as gate connectivity was expensive. Most ships didn’t even get direct docking time, it was so expensive. Away from the station, using Onuka’s eyes, they discovered the complexity of this space. There was a grid of storage containers moving out away from the station, away from the Nebula, stretching for as far as the eye could see. Little blinking lights on each container, as well as radio identifiers, helped pilots avoid ‘the field.’ The containers held everything from station supplies, to personal belongings. There were people that came to Indigo station, transitioning from worlds, and their stuff was stored in containers, which was much cheaper than keeping their stuff on station.
There was another grid of containers that were habitats. Not everyone could afford to live on Indigo station. For many, habits offered more spacious, luxurious living, a life style they couldn’t afford on the station itself. People were ferried in by shuttle cars. All the habitats had docking but some couldn’t even afford the luxury of a shuttle connecting directly, so they crossed to and from shuttle and habitats wearing spacesuits, or, more bizarrely, just wearing Emergency Life Belts, which created a force field around a person that contained an atmosphere long enough to transition between places. Jon witnessed one of these exchanges and though the person was killing himself. He came outside the airlock, exposed to space. He stood perched as if he were going to jump. The force field was not perceptible from this distance. A shuttle slowed, not a quite a full stop, and the person simply stepped over, latched hold of the shuttle, and went in. The shuttle proceeded to the next pick up.
“Fuck, the things people do to live,” Jon said.
There was a grid of habitats that were not just habitats. They were prisons. These were people that were excommunicated from their worlds and not deemed safe for any society. All their needs were met by drones. There were no airlocks. The cells came equipped with bots on the inside, usually compatible with the species being incarcerated, to minimize loneliness and to allow others, caretakers, families, friends, to interact remotely. If the person being incarcerated was insane, they sometimes destroyed the bots. There were mad people in boxes floating in space. There was a frequency range where anyone could tune into the deranged, the criminal minded, the dangerous, and it was permissible to communicate with them.
“Not sure I like that,” Jon said.
“Well, it’s nice to know they don’t have capital punishment in civilized space,” Loxy said.
“Is this better?” Lilith asked.
“My understanding is, these folks were either immune to normalization protocols, or they chose not to engage,” Loxy said.
“But if they are mentally ill…” Jon began.
“There is a subset of mentally ill that are non-compliant with protocols,” Loxy said. “That said, if you get boxed, it’s not just noncompliance issues. If you get boxed, it’s because you’re killing or raping others. Or you’re a war criminal. Or you’re under strict quarantines due to medical reasons.”
“My kind would kill these folks,” Lilith said. “Anyone who can’t be healed deserves a greater mercy than we can offer.” “I am sad,” Jon said.
“Oh!” Loxy and Lilith reacted. They both turned into him and began loving on him. Amy was charging, so Loxy took care of the inside, Lilith the outside, but they all took care of each other.
Afterwards Jon found himself alone, as Loxy and Lilith were sleeping. He went and found a snack, and opened a book. It was the Founder’s Book, Lilith’s holy book. He found it interesting that it wasn’t just stories. There was math. They were teaching math and ethics! He had to skip over most of the math. He found himself staring at a symbol that looked a great deal like the Yin Yang symbol. It was a circle, divided by a simple wave. There was a noticeable point at the twelve o’clock position of the circle. There were two visible points inside the circle, on either side of the wave. Below this was a diagram of a wave. It was one complete series, a zero line, the wave going up through a nice arch of amplitude, descending down through to trough and coming back up to zero, repeating once.
“What are you doing?” Lilith asked.
Jon was startled out of the book and nearly launched himself from the table.
“OMG, don’t do that,” Jon said.
“Sorry,” Lilith said. “You’re just sitting there. You didn’t see me come in?”
Jon motioned for her to come sit by him. She had all kinds of room on the bench, but she had to sit up against him. He took her hand and then her eyes shifted. She could see the book. And then she realized it was a pristine copy of her book,
“Oh!” Lilith said. Jon felt her hug and kiss him. He had to break free from the book to see her doing this. They returned to the book together. From the book perspective, they both became aware that Loxy was awake and with them.
“Onuk,” Lilith said, touching the point on the line from which the wave began its ascent. Her finger traced the wave and stop at the peak. “On,” Lilith said. She traced the wave back to the zero line and stopped. “Onuka,” she said. She traced the line down to the trough and stopped. “On,” she said. She traced the wave back to the line. “Onuka.” She repeated. This time as she traced the wave, she chanted ‘onnnnnn’ up through the peak and back down to wave, where she completed the phrase ‘uka’ but kept chanting as her finger traced the wave down, ‘onnnnnn,’ back to intersection point of line ‘uka.’
“This is the story of origin,” Lilith said. “The male aspect creates light. The female aspect carries and sustains light.
“So, when you said we were ‘on’ you meant…” Jon began.
“We are On. We are traveling. Onuk Bay, our launching point. We have many more places of arrival to go before we are complete,” Lilith said. “There can be many starting points. Clearly your origin Onuk launched you, and you have your path. That path brought you to me.
We joined paths. New origin. Now we travel together.”
“But why this symbol. The circle. My people have this,” Jon said.
“This is that,” Lilith said, saying the yin yang symbol and the diagram of the wave is the same.
“How?” Jon asked.
Lilith touched the point at the twelve o’clock position and said “Onuk.” As she traced the circle around she chanted “onnnnn.” When she got back to twelve oclock she said “Uka” and went around a second time with ‘On.” The wave dividing the circle was horizontal. From the intersection of the invisible line that would dissect the circle in half and the 9 o’clock position of the circle she said “Onuk.” As she traced the wave she said “onnnn.” When she arrived at the three o’clock position of the circle she said “uka.” She tapped the upper portion of the inner circle and said, “Light, Male, Fear, Hunger, or Onuk.” She tapped the lower portion of the circle.
“Dark, Female, Love, Acceptance, or Onuka.”
Jon puzzled through it. He loved this. There was no doubt in his mind that this was meaningful in a way he couldn’t articulate. Light is a wave. It has a peak and a trough, and it was this oscillation that made sight possible. It also made darkness possible. Darkness wasn’t just the absence of light, but was where light canceled itself out through diffraction patterns. Without both peak and trough, then there was nothing, but the book did not refer to this as ‘darkness.’ In the book, darkness was something, not nothing. The whole, per the book, was comprised of light, and that light reflected and refracted, and diffracted, and there were places where it was amplified and placed where it was diminished, and the apparent absent was an illusion, but still a place of energetic interaction. The Universe was a hologram. The book, Lilith’s people, knew about holograms!
“Wait wait wait,” Jon said. “You put fear on the side with light and male. Why?” “That is the truth of it,” Lilith said.
“Where I come from, God is a father, and He is the light,” Jon said.
“I am sorry for your confusion,” Lilith said. “Fear launches. It’s the quest. It’s the cry of the infant. It’s the call of the lover. That is the aspect of male. The female is who responds. She embraces the lover. She nourishes the child. She bring peace where before there was fear. It is only when these two aspects are truly coupled that there is clarity. That is the way.” “That is beautiful,” Loxy said.
“I owe you an apology, Lilith,” Jon said.
“How do you figure?” Lilith asked.
“I thought you were a simple shepherdess,” Jon said. In truth, he should have known better. Theoretically, people from his past had abilities to make temples and pyramids and move stones in sophisticated ways, that even modern people couldn’t replicate, so to assume past equals primitive was not good thinking. “You are much more sophisticated than I imagined.” Lilith hugged him in the real and virtual world. “One always assumes the simplest people are the most primitive, but in truth, they are the more advanced. Think about your world, Jon. If a catastrophe happened, and all tech suddenly ceased to operate, who would survive a millennia? The peoples in the cities or the peoples in wilderness? The planet will always recover and it is those who are connected to the earth, who live in balance with nature that survive.”
“Unless you arrive at paradise?” Loxy asked.
“Few civilization arrive at that point,” Lilith said. “That is the Onuk we all wish for.” Loxy felt the bubbling of emotions from Jon, but it had yet to resolve into something solid. Prior to her expanding out into other systems, she would have been able to resolve it quicker. “Jon, what are you feeling?”
“I am an idiot! I know nothing and I yet I make assumptions after assumptions and…” “No, Jon,” Lilith said. “You are not an idiot. You are simply navigating with an incomplete map. You are Onuk. I am Onuka. Together, our map is complete.” “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anyone,” Jon said.
“It’s not about deserve. It’s about love,” Lilith said. “It is about injury and forgiveness.
Male initiates the dance, female completes. While they are ‘on,’ they are learning to dance. That is it.”
Jon’s head was reeling with past fears and conflicting paradigms. “You’re just being nice to me. I am needy and clingy and…”
“Yes, Jon. You are Onuk. You will have many Onukas,” Lilith said. “It takes many spectra to make a rainbow, but when you put them all together, you get one light. I love you and every color you wrap around us.”
Jon cried. Both Lilith and Loxy held him in the virtual space, and different intimacy unfolded, more than lust, more than pleasure, it was a merging that brought with it a profound sense of peace. It was a state better than any amount of cannabis had ever brought. It was the perfect amount of wine. This was bliss. “Akuno,” Lilith said.