Whoever said that scrills are stupid?
Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy decided to take the forest route over to Koalatown. The woods, which ran east to west, connecting the northern sections of all three groves in Southern Koalaland, were dense and dark, but there was a path near its southern edge which had been there for a long as anyone could remember.
The route was enchantingly scenic: huge tree branches, extending out from both sides of the path, formed a sort of canopy above it that was, during the months when the leaves were fully grown, so thick that one could walk along the trail when it was raining and hardly get wet. There were only about a hundred yards separating the path from the lower edge of the forest, yet one would never know it, for in addition to the trees, there were so many bushes that it was not possible to look through to the fields beyond, which separated Koalaville from Eucalyptus Grove on the one side, and Eucalyptus Grove from Koalatown on the other.
There were seldom any dangerous animals in the forest. True, an occasional boar from Boar Forest, west of Koalatown, might wander over and get lost, and no koala enjoyed meeting a boar. This was not because the wild swine were their enemies, but was simply due to the fact that the boars were a coarse breed and easily excitable, so they might run amok and hurt somebody, even though they had no evil intentions.
There had been rumors that several koalas had seen a mountain lion in the forest, but these were unsubstantiated, and nobody had ever been attacked by one. The only animals that could be seen regularly during a stroll through the woods were rabbits, birds, an occasional deer, and scrills – squirrels, to us. The language of the koalas, though practically the same as ours, nonetheless had certain words that differed slightly, and 'scrills' was one of them. The scrills were not afraid of the koalas, and the koalas felt a certain affinity for them, perhaps because the scrills, too, were tree-dwellers. For a koala, you see, living in a tree was not only the most natural thing in the world, but also the most practical, since it made eating leaves all the easier. The scrills were not seen as competition, for they were not interested in leaves, but only in nuts.
The koalas themselves had added nuts to their diet some decades earlier, but usually collected them from the ground beneath the trees when no scrills were around, for they would never have thought of depriving the harmless little creatures of their main foodstuff.
'Hey Bumpy, why don't we sit down here to rest a bit,' Humpy suggested.
'Yeah, okay. We can have a seat right here by this tree,' he replied.
The three sat down, leaning their backs against the trunk of the tree. Humpy placed his basket of walnuts, which was covered with a thin white cloth to keep the bugs off, next to him on the ground.
'Gee, Bumpy, look at that cute little guy, huh uh huh,' Dumpy noticed, pointing to a wide-eyed brown scrill that was sitting motionless off to their left.
'Oh, he is cute, isn't he?' Humpy smiled. 'I'll give him a walnut. He'll like that.'
He pulled back the cover, reached into the basket, and took out two pieces of walnut, then held out his hand towards the scrill, offering them to him.
The scrill darted forward, and then stopped to size up the three koalas, who were staring at him as well. Then he dashed forward, snatched the two pieces of walnut, ran back a few yards, sat down, and quickly gobbled them up.
'He is a cute one!' Bumpy was delighted. 'And he sure liked those walnuts!'
The scrill scurried up a tree and disappeared. Our three friends decided that this would be a good place to take a little nap, so without further ado, they leaned their heads back against the tree-trunk, stretched out their legs, and soon dozed off.
'Uh, Bumpy, Humpy, wake up!' Dumpy shook his friends' shoulders.
'Huh, what is it?' Bumpy muttered.
'Gee Bumpy, we'd better get goin', we must've been sleepin' for an hour, huh uh huh,' Dumpy drawled.
'Oh, yeah. Humpy, you awake?'
'Yeah, I am… aaaaaooooh,' he yawned. 'I guess we'd better get on over to Koalatown and buy that liquor before dark. Then it's party time!'
'Right, let's go!' Bumpy said as he stood up and stretched.
Humpy picked up the basket of walnuts, and the three started down the path westwards.
They got to Koalatown soon thereafter, entering the grove in the northeast, where the forest path ended.
'So, if I recall, we can trade for the liquor at the tree of… uh, what was his name again?' Bumpy couldn't recollect.
'Tama, I believe,' Humpy answered, 'but I'm not sure I remember where he lives.
Somewhere in the center, maybe a little towards the west.'
'We'll just walk towards the center of the grove, and ask some koalas along the way.'
After walking for a few minutes, Dumpy commented, 'Gee, Koalatown sure isn't as pretty as Koalaville, is it? Huh uh huh.'
'Naw, it sure isn't,' Bumpy replied, 'and it's a real far cry from Eucalyptus Grove. Hah!
These koalas here are gonna turn green with envy when they see us livin' over in that high-class grove!'
'Gee Bumpy, that's funny, green koalas! Huh uh huh!' Dumpy laughed.
'Ooh, I think I see one of them coming now,' Humpy said, not seeming too pleased. 'A koala of the green persuasion, I mean. It's that mangy Moldy!'
'Oh no, his friends Chuppy and Guppy are with him,' Bumpy noted. 'Quick, let's hide behind this tree!' They did just that, and waited until the three undesirables had passed.
'That was close! The last time we saw them over here we ended up in a fight,' Bumpy recalled.
'Huh uh huh, yeah, Bumpy, that was some fight, too. One of 'em bit me in the ear, and I didn't even see which one it was,' Dumpy remembered, rubbing the ear in question.
'Yeah, that gang is bad news,' Humpy added. 'Not that I mind a decent brawl, but those low-down koalas just don't fight fair.'
'Yeah, but I did give that Chuppy a good punch in the snoot,' Bumpy laughed, 'and that was fun!'
'Maybe so, but it was that punch you gave him that started the whole fight, if my memory doesn't fail me,' Humpy said with a frown.
'Well, whad'ya expect? He said my mother eats rotten leaves!' Bumpy defended himself.
'Well, your mother has been dead for years, so he wouldn't know, anyway,' Humpy remarked, 'but I see your point. He deserved it.'
'Yeah! Why, I oughta run after him and give him another good punch!' Bumpy snarled.
'No you won't! We don't need any trouble here. We wanna have some fun. So let's go get that liquor, and then go find those girls!' Humpy insisted.
'Yeah, you're right. But if he ever gives me any trouble again, why, I'll...'
'Yeah, I'm sure you will. But let's go!' Humpy said, and the three continued walking towards the center of the grove.
'Excuse us, good koala,' Humpy greeted someone who was walking down Koalatown's main path towards them.
'Yes? How can I help you?' the stranger asked.
'We would like to know how to get to the tree of a certain Tama,' Humpy inquired.
'Oh, need some eucalyptus liquor, huh?'
'You guessed it! Bumpy's the name, this here is Humpy, and that's Dumpy. We're from Koalaville.'
'My name's Swinky. I thought you weren't from these parts. I know a lot of koalas here in Koalatown, but I've never seen you before.'
'We only come over here every once in a while,' Humpy explained. 'What part of the grove are you from?'
'South central, a bit to the west. I work for Mayor Koala, so it's convenient to live near his tree.'
'For Mayor Koala, huh?' Bumpy replied, impressed. 'Sounds like a good job you have.'
'Well, it would be a good job, if he paid decently. I only get one basket of nuts a month, and two of berries, but whenever I ask for a raise, he says it isn't in the budget.' Swinky complained.
'Uh, gee, just what is your work?' Dumpy asked.
'I'm a translator. I can speak – besides our language, of course – primitive koala, boar, and a little bit of the emu tongue as well.'
'Considering some of the citizens we've seen here in Koalatown, your knowledge of the primitive koala language no doubt comes in handy!' Bumpy joked.
'No, I mean really primitive. I can talk to those koalas who aren't as developed as we are.
Like the snow koalas up there on Koala Mountain,' Swinky explained, pointing to the mountain just north of Koalatown.
'Oh, I wouldn't want to meet one of them,' Humpy shuddered. 'I saw a couple of them from a distance last winter. They had come down from the mountain and were roaming around the forest, looking for something to eat. I was nearby, collecting berries. Why, they're big, ugly, and all that long, shaggy white fur – that really gave me the creeps! So as soon as I saw 'em, I turned around and ran as fast as I could.'
'Well, they usually don't mean any harm, but I understand why you were afraid. I don't enjoy dealing with them, but Mayor Koala says he needs somebody to communicate with them when they come down in the winter. After all, the first place they come is Koalatown, since it's the closest.'
'I'm just glad they aren't here now,' Bumpy said. 'I trust them about as far as I can throw 'em.'
'Gee, Bumpy, you mean you used to throw snow koalas?' Dumpy asked innocently.
'No, of course not!' Bumpy replied impatiently.
'Then why can't you trust 'em?' Dumpy wanted to know.
'Oh, it was just an expression. I mean since I can't throw 'em, I can't trust 'em.'
'Well, you probably couldn't throw me too far either. Does that mean you don't trust me?'
Dumpy, looking sad now, inquired.
'Yeah, of course I trust you, even if I can't throw you… Oh, this is ridiculous! I only wanted to say that I don't like snow koalas, 'cause I'm afraid they might pick me up and throw me!'
'Uuh, would that mean that the snow koalas trust you, then?' Dumpy asked.
'Ooh!' Bumpy grunted in frustration. 'Let's change the subject! Swinky, can you tell us where Tama lives?'
'Yeah, sure. Go down this path where I just came from, till you get to the central clearing.
Then cross it, taking the path that leads south, and after about a hundred yards you'll see a little path to your right. Take that, and follow it till you come to Tama's place. You can't miss it, since there's a little shack there. That's where Tama keeps the liquor locked up. He'll be there now himself, no doubt, since he finally got the parts to repair the lock today. Somebody broke into the shack last week and tried to steal a bunch of bottles of liquor.'
'Wow!' Humpy exclaimed. 'Did they get away with it?'
'Nope. Duffy, our police chief, and Mabo, one of his deputies, caught them in the act.
Mayor Koala ordered them to be chained to a tree, pending their trial,' Swinky informed them.
'That's quite a story,' Bumpy mused. 'Good they were caught. Otherwise, there might not be any liquor left for us.'
'Don't worry about that. Tama always has a big supply on hand.'
'Excellent! Then we'll go over there right now and get our share,' Humpy said, and all three wished Swinky a good day as they walked away. They found Tama's shack shortly thereafter, next to an especially large and leafy tree. Sure enough, he himself was sitting on a chair just to the left of its door.
'Hello, good sir,' Bumpy greeted Tama as the three approached him. 'We are interested in gettin' a few bottles of your choice eucalyptus liquor.'
'Hmm... I don't believe I've met you fellows before. Do you even know what eucalyptus liquor is?' Tama asked them.
'We certainly do!' Humpy answered. It's just that until now, we always got our supply from someone else here in Koalatown, till we found out he was taking advantage of us, and charging too much. That's why we thought that this time, we'd come right to the source.'
'Well, how many bottles do you want, and what do you have to offer in return?' Tama inquired.
'I'm glad you asked,' said Humpy as he placed the large basket in front of Tama's chair.
'A whole basket filled with walnuts, ready to eat, without the shells. Would that buy us three bottles?'
'Oh, I think that would be acceptable,' Tama replied, pulling off the cloth and admiring the walnuts. 'That's quite a few of them. Must have taken a long time to crack open the shells.'
'You bet it did!' Humpy responded. 'I needed a couple of days to do it.'
'Wait. Let me go inside and get your liquor.' Tama opened the door of the little shack and stepped inside. Bumpy noticed that the wood around the lock was broken off, so Swinky's story of the attempted theft must have been true.
Stepping outside carrying three bottles, Tama placed them on the ground. 'There you are.
These are from a batch I made almost a year ago. It tastes better when it ages a bit, you know.'
'That's very kind of you, sir. We sure do appreciate it!' Humpy said, as he, Bumpy and Dumpy each picked up one of the bottles and held it up towards the bright sky, so as to better be able to admire the fine green color of the booze inside.
'We'll be off now. And thank you very much!' Bumpy called to Tama as the three began to depart.
Tama, who had begun to take the walnuts out of the basket and place them into a large jar, glanced up. 'And I thank you! Bye now! Hey, wait a minute,' his friendly voice had quite suddenly changed to one of suspicion. 'What's this I see? Shells!'
'Huh?' Humpy grunted as the three turned around again and walked back to where he was sitting. 'There isn't a shell in that basket!'
Tama, who had already removed the top layer of walnuts from the basket, disagreed vehemently. 'Not on the top, there aren't. But what are these!'
Removing the walnuts at the top had revealed that beneath them, the basket contained nothing but shells – and empty shells at that.
'Impossible!' Humpy cried out. 'I packed them into that basket myself. I even checked them this morning before we left Koalaville, and there wasn't a shell in that basket!'
'Well, there are now,' said Tama angrily, 'and you were obviously trying to cheat me. I'm going to go get Police Chief Duffy. We don't like thieves around here!'
'Just a minute, let's all calm down,' Bumpy advised. 'There must be some rational explanation for this. Look Tama, Humpy wouldn't try to cheat you, since if he did, you'd never sell us anything again. Somebody else must have taken out the nuts, and put those shells in the bottom.'
'Likely story,' Tama replied. 'Do you expect me to believe that?'
'It'd be nice if you would. Now let's think for a minute. Where were we today?' Bumpy asked his two friends.
'We left Koalaville this morning, and I know there weren't any shells in that basket then,'
Humpy thought aloud. 'Then we walked through the forest, and came here. We didn't go any place else. It's a complete mystery.'
'Uh, gee Bumpy, we did take that long nap…' Dumpy remembered.
'So what? Good edible nut meat doesn't turn into shells just because you're takin' a nap!'
Bumpy snapped at him.
'But gee, uh, what about that scrill?' Dumpy reminded them of the little creature to whom Humpy had given a couple of walnuts. At that, Bumpy and Humpy looked very pensive.
'Why, you don't think that that scrill…?' Humpy asked with a rather confounded look on his face.
'Oh, no! How could we be so dumb? That scrill saw that the basket was filled with nuts, all shelled and ready to eat. The temptation must have been too great for him,' Bumpy theorized.
'But that doesn't make any sense. Why would he leave some nuts in the basket, and fill the bottom part with shells?' Humpy couldn't figure it out.
'Uh, gee, I guess so that we wouldn't notice that he had stolen 'em,' Dumpy suggested.
'Oh, yeah! That was a clever little devil, it was,' Bumpy frowned angrily. 'Who would have thought that a scrill could outsmart us like that?'
Tama, who had been following their conversation closely, spoke up. 'I may be wrong, but I get the impression that you three may be innocent after all.'
'Of course we are! Look, Tama, we weren't tryin' to cheat you, we were cheated ourselves. Hey, do you think that your police chief – Duffy, I think you said his name is – might go back to the forest with us and arrest that thievin' scrill?'
'Oh, hardly. He's never arrested a scrill before, and besides, how can you blame a scrill for taking nuts he finds in the forest? It's what they've done for ages.'
'Well, those nuts were in our basket! Oh, I guess it's no use,' Bumpy groaned in frustration. 'I'm really sorry about this, Tama, and I hope there aren't any hard feelings,' he said as he and his friends put the bottles down on the ground. Humpy went to pick up the basket.
'Wait a minute now. There are some nuts in this basket, and they look delicious. How about if I take these, in return for one bottle? Would that be acceptable?' Tama offered.
'Wow, would it! Sure!' Humpy exclaimed. 'It's really nice of you to trust us like this, after what happened…'
'I suppose your story is true. It sounds too ridiculous to be something you made up. Here's your bottle. And the next time you're in the forest, you'd better not let any scrills get the better of you!' Tama laughed.
'Yeah, you're right there,' Bumpy replied. 'Maybe I'll look for that little critter when we go back through the forest tomorrow. I'd like to teach him a lesson...'
'Not much chance of that,' Tama said. 'Scrills aren't as dumb as they seem, as you three found out. The one that stole those nuts will make sure you don't find him, and the nuts are probably already stored away in the hollow of an old tree somewhere.'
'I guess you're right, and like you said, how can we expect a scrill to resist a bunch of nuts?' Humpy added. 'No use cryin' over spilt milk. We'll just be more careful next time.
Well, thanks again, Tama, and it was a pleasure doing business with you!'
'Sure. I'll be looking forward to seeing you again soon. Enjoy your stay in Koalatown. By the way, are you going to the dance tonight?'
'Uuh, dance? Tonight? Here in the grove?' Dumpy asked.
'Yep. The beginning of the Spring Celebration. It'll be quite an affair. Everybody will be there,' Tama explained.
'Why, we had no idea. A little bit of luck after all! There's nothin' like a good celebration to lift the spirits, I say,' Bumpy lifted up the bottle of eucalyptus liquor, '...if you know what I mean.'
'Hey, come to think of it, maybe there is a way you can earn yourselves two more bottles. After all, you did want three,' Tama said.
'Whad'ya mean? We don't have jobs.' Humpy didn't know what Tama was getting at.
'Well, I need some help. I've gotta move some tables up to the clearing in the center of the grove, where the party will be held. I'm planning to make a lot of sales tonight at that celebration, but I'll need to set up the tables, carry up a bunch of bottles, and even more cups.
If you three help me get everything into that wagon there, and then unload it and set it all up when we get to the clearing, I'll give you two bottles of liquor.'
'Gee, Bumpy, that sounds great, huh uh huh,' Dumpy smiled.
'It sure does!' Humpy rejoiced. 'Not that we are addicted to work, but I suppose a few hours of decent labor won't kill us. Then, with all that liquor, we'll enjoy the party all the more!'
'And besides,' Bumpy added, 'you've been decent with us, and Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy Koala never forget those who treat them well. It's a deal. We'll be glad to help you!'
'Great!' Tama responded. 'Then let's get started. There are two big tables behind the shack that have got to be moved over to the clearing. Follow me.'
They then set to work, and were soon busy loading everything Tama would need for preparing the refreshment stands into the wagon. Despite the loss of the nuts, Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy felt that the day was turning out just fine.