'Leaves and Circuses', or The Downsides of Democracy
'Rolly, I can't believe another year has gone by. Imagine, spring is here once again!' Mayor Koala commented to his friend and co-leader of Koalatown, Judge Rolly.
Mayor Koala was the elected leader of the grove, and had been in power for some years now. In the twilight of middle age, with a few streaks of white in his otherwise dark gray fur, he nonetheless seemed to have great energy, especially where staying in power and gaining any sort of advantage was concerned.
When seeing him seated at his desk, one might have thought that the Mayor was a rather tall koala, for his torso was large and a bit stout, due to his love of good food. Yet when he stood up, he was only of average height, his legs being rather short in proportion to the rest of his body. A natural extravert, the Mayor had a marked jovial disposition, though he was uncomfortably prone to fits of worry. This combination of traits often led to mood swings, his enthusiasm suddenly becoming extinguished by a bout of pessimism, only to exuberantly soar back up again when Rolly helped him to see things from a different angle.
Judge Rolly was plainly older, the white fur on his body being almost as abundant as the gray. He had a small pair of spectacles he used for reading, which gave him a somewhat bookish appearance. Smaller than the Mayor, and rather thin, the Judge had more than a touch of the philosopher in him, since he was both analytical and pensive by nature. This did not, however, squelch his basic sense of practicality, and he, like the Mayor, was very much able to discern, with his clear, penetrating mind, what was most beneficial to them in just about any situation.
The two were sitting on chairs that were on the floor that had been built resting on two sturdy branches in one of the larger trees in south-central Koalatown, a sort of foundation for a tree house that had progressed no farther than its base. A roof-like, waterproof awning, with little side flaps, could be opened above them when the weather was bad. It was big enough to cover the part of the platform where they had their furniture. Someday, they would of course have walls and a real roof built upon their work space, that they now simply referred to as their 'platform', and that served them not only as an office, but also as a rather comfortable area on which to enjoy an impromptu nap whenever they felt the need.
Each was now at his desk, Mayor Koala's just next to the tree-trunk, Judge Rolly's, which was merely a simple table, a bit off to the left-center of the platform. Rolly, being a judge, was Koalatown's equivalent of Judge Grandaddy, though he wasn't as old.
'Yeah, I know what you mean. Seems like the older you get, the faster time flies,' Rolly answered, putting down his feather pen, clasping his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair, causing its front legs to rise off the floor a bit, as he looked up at the leaves that were growing on the branches above him.
'And for us, you know what spring means. The great celebration – or should I say the great chaos – and it should be under way in a few hours,' Mayor Koala remarked with a sigh.
'Well, you're the one who always insists that the party be held,' Rolly blamed his friend.
'We could have just not organized it this year.'
'Oh, Rolly, you may be a good judge, but you'd make a lousy politician. These koalas would have a fit if they missed out on their spring celebration. They've come to expect it, to see it as their right. We'd be swamped with complaints if we canceled it.'
'Right. And you would be in danger of losing the next election,' Rolly replied.
Mayor Koala chortled, 'Rolly, I never could fool you! You're right, of course, no doubt about it. I owe my great popularity to the 'great' events I organize here. Give these koalas leaves and circuses, so to speak, and they won't forget you when election time rolls around.
It's always worked for me in the past, and I have no intention of losing an election in the future. This year, though, I did think it was time we kept things a bit more under control.'
'A bit more? After that fiasco last year at the Spring Celebration, I'd say we should get things a lot more under control.'
'Yes, yes, that huge brawl that broke out back then, I know,' Mayor Koala reminisced.
'That was complete pandemonium. Twenty-six koalas injured, if I recall. A wonder none of them were killed. Let's see…' he paused as he looked for a paper on his desk, '...here is the list from last year. Two broken arms, a broken foot, two concussions; several had at least one tooth knocked out, bruises and cuts of all sorts, three were bitten, one in the nose…'
'Ouch!' Rolly winced. 'That must have really hurt!'
'Well, the koala who was bitten was so drunk that he might not even have felt it till the next day,' the Mayor snickered. 'Oh, then there were numerous cases of upset stomach, vomiting…'
'Okay, I've heard enough. It's really disgusting. Do you honestly think we should have given the permit to Tama when he invented that eucalyptus liquor four years ago? I mean, we could have denied it to him, and he wouldn't have been able to start selling the stuff.
Would've kept things a lot more civilized around here,' Rolly speculated.
'Are you kidding? Before he got the permit, he had already given out free samples of that booze. There was no law against that, and once the koalas tried it, they were clamoring for it.
If I had refused to give him the permit, they would've voted me out of office, and he would have sold it on the black market, anyway.'
'Oh, and I thought your granting him the permit had something to do with Tama's promise to deliver you a monthly supply of nuts and berries, and liquor as well, for as long as you're in office,' Rolly knew the Mayor well.
'As if you didn't accept your share of the goods, too!' Mayor Koala guffawed in response.
'Yeah, well, I guess it was hard to refuse,' Rolly smiled, 'but then, how were we to know that things could get out of hand?'
'Oh Rolly, let's stop browbeating ourselves. Things do get unbearably wild when there's a big party, but that's only twice a year, at the spring and summer celebrations.'
'Not to mention New Year's,' Rolly added.
'Oh yeah, that too.'
'And any other occasion we can find to stage a good party,' Rolly continued.
'Okay, okay, let's say five or six times a year. But ever since we've appointed three policekoalas, who in turn can appoint deputies, the situation only rarely goes beyond what we can handle,' Mayor Koala pointed out.
'Well, let's just hope tonight isn't one of those occasions,' Rolly responded.
'Rolly, you worry more than my old great aunt Maudy did, may the Koala Moon comfort her soul. I've invited Duffy over – he should be here any minute, as a matter of fact – and he's going to tell us how he and the other policekoalas are going to manage things this evening.'
'That is one point in our favor, I must say,' Rolly mused. 'Duffy is one fine koala, perfect as a police chief. Big and strong as he is, he knows how to intimidate those lowlifes over in the southwest.'
'...and he isn't above knocking a few heads together, whenever appropriate, to uphold the public order,' Mayor Koala smiled smugly.
'Oh, yeah, about that kind of stuff,' Rolly picked up a paper from his table, 'I've got a list of complaints here from some koalas who have accused him of brutality. I suppose we should look into this.'
'Of course. Who are the koalas who filed the complaints?' Mayor Koala inquired.
'Let's see,' Rolly studied the list. 'Chuppy, Guppy, Moldy, and one of their friends,' Rolly answered, as the smile on his face broke into a laugh.
'That mangy Chuppy and his gang!' the Mayor jeered. 'If anybody deserves to be roughed up a bit, it's them. Case closed! Remind me to commend Duffy on the good job he's doing.'
'Yeah, and I think I'll tell him to give that Guppy a punch or two for me. The last time we pulled him in for disorderly conduct, he called me an old fool!' Rolly recalled.
'Well, he might have a point there,' Mayor Koala joked, 'but we can't have his kind going around and insulting the authorities, can we?'
'Not as long as we are the authorities!' Rolly laughed. 'I let Guppy off back then, just to get rid of him, but the next time, he's in for trouble.'
'And you see, that's where Duffy comes in. After all, how else should such riffraff be punished? We can't fine them, since they don't have anything,' said the Mayor.
'Oh so true. And remember that time we made three of them do community service, building that path up in the north of the grove?' Judge Rolly asked.
'I do indeed. In a single week, they managed to get themselves into no less than five fights with the inhabitants there. Koalas were begging us to make them go back to the southwest.'
'Yes, ours is a daunting task,' Rolly remarked, 'and rascals like them don't make it any easier. Oh, I believe I see Duffy coming now.'
Soon Duffy was knocking on the trunk of their tree. 'Mayor Koala?'
'Yes, Duffy, climb right up,' the Mayor greeted him. 'How are the preparations coming along?'
'Just fine, sir,' Duffy replied respectfully. Duffy was a rather large koala, and of powerful build, but his most distinctive features were his reddish fur and his freckled face. The freckles were, of course, not visible, being under his fur; nonetheless, everyone in the grove knew they were there, though no one had ever actually seen them. Rather peculiar, to be sure. 'I've had a new idea this year, and I think it will help us to keeps things relatively civilized at the celebration.'
'Do tell!' Rolly spoke up. 'What is it you've got planned?'
'Well, sir, the problem we had last year was that even though we three policekoalas had deputized five more koalas, it didn't do much good. Those who wanted to fight just did it in places where there weren't any of us around, and in a crowd that large, it was impossible to see just what was happenin' everywhere.'
'Yes, of course,' Mayor Koala understood, 'those deputies were easy to spot with those stupid stars they were wearing on their overalls.'
'Yeah, so this year we goin' to do it a bit differently,' Duffy explained. 'I've told the deputies they can't wear those stars. They have to dress like everybody else, so that the scoundrels in the crowd won't know who they are. That way, when trouble starts, it's more likely that a deputy will be there to see it, call the rest of us, and we can quash the violence before it breaks out and spreads.'
'Why, that's an excellent plan! I see you've been thinking, Duffy. That should work just fine,' Mayor Koala complimented him.
'I'm glad you approve, sir,' Duffy said, then looked a bit hesitant. 'Oh, there is one thing…'
'What's that?' Mayor Koala and Rolly asked in unison.
'Well, those deputy koalas were insistin' on wearin' their stars. Vanity, you know. And in order to get them to promise not to wear them, I had to offer them somethin' in return,' Duffy explained.
'Uh-oh, I think this is the part of the conversation I'm not going to like very much,' Mayor Koala looked sceptical. 'What did you promise them, Duffy?'
'Uuuh, well, I told them that we'd pay each one of them one hundred and fifty walnuts.'
'One hundred and fifty!' Mayor Koala cried out. 'How many deputies do you have?'
'Five, sir,' Duffy replied.
'Doooh! That makes... Let me see…' the Mayor started counting on his fingers and
thumbs, 'seven hundred and fifty walnuts! That will eat up a good five percent of my – I mean, of the Koalatown government's – supply!'
'Sorry, Mayor, but that's the only way I could get them to agree to the plan,' Duffy excused himself.
'Aw, come on now, Mayor,' Judge Rolly consoled him. 'It'll be worth it. If this year's celebration takes place without any problems, it'll be all the better for your reputation. And besides, if it goes well this year, maybe more koalas from Koalaville will come over for the next event we have, which would mean more income for us, of course – I mean, for the government.'
'Yeah, Rolly, maybe you're right. But I expect your plan to work, Duffy. Keep things under control, see to it that no big fights break out, and that everybody has a good time.'
'Well, I can do my best to keep things under control, but that bit about seein' to it that everybody has a good time isn't really up to me.'
'Oh, you know what I mean. The liquor will cheer them up. You just have to make sure they don't start attacking each other,' Mayor Koala instructed him.
'Will do, Mayor. And if some mangy koala gets out of hand,' Duffy began, reaching across his body with his right paw, pulling a sturdy stick out of a little loop he had had sewn into the left side of his dark blue overalls, and then slapping the open palm of his left hand with the long end, 'I'll give him a whack over the noggin with this!'
'Now you're talking!' Mayor Koala approved. 'Put an end to the trouble as soon as it starts. That's the way to do it.'
'Okay, Mayor. I guess I should be goin' now. I want to tell the deputies where they should position themselves during the celebration.'
'Fine, Duffy. Good luck tonight,' Rolly wished him.
'Yes, indeed,' Mayor Koala said. 'Do your duty as you see fit, and I'm confident things will go well. We'll see you at the party.'
'Bye, Judge. See you, Mayor!' Duffy called to them as he climbed down their tree.
'A laudable civil servant, that Duffy. A real no-nonsense type of koala,' Rolly opined.
'No doubt about it. Just what we need here in Koalatown. Those scallywags in the southwest know he won't let 'em get away with much!' the Mayor smirked.
'Right you are,' Rolly concurred. 'Duffy knows how to earn their respect: talk tough, and carry a big stick.'
'A sure formula for success,' Mayor Koala agreed wholeheartedly.