Koalaland: The Making of a Kingdom by David Earl Bolton - HTML preview

PLEASE NOTE: This is an HTML preview only and some elements such as links or page numbers may be incorrect.
Download the book in PDF, ePub, Kindle for a complete version.

The Day After

Koalatown was considerably more peaceful the next morning, no doubt because practically every one of its citizens was sound asleep after having spent the entire night in joyous – and in a majority of cases, drunken – revelry. Mayor Koala and Judge Rolly were in the very small minority who were awake. They had left the celebration shortly after midnight, since they preferred sleep to wild parties.

'Where's that Duffy? He was supposed to report to us this morning to tell us last night's crime statistics,' said the Mayor impatiently.

'Oh, calm down. He needs his sleep, too. After all, I'm sure he and the other policekoalas were up until the party was over.'

'Well, for all we know, half of Koalatown might be chained to trees somewhere due to their disorderly conduct, or some other charges. I want to have an idea of how much time we'll need to spend to give the shabby beasts their trials,' the Mayor remarked.

'Hey, I should be complaining, not you,' Rolly retorted. 'After all, as Judge, I have the obligation to give them their day in court.'

'True, but once you sentence them, their relatives will be coming to me to complain, and to convince me to fire you, though legally, I couldn't do so even if I wanted to' Mayor Koala replied. 'Oh, look, I believe that's Duffy on the way over here now.'

Soon, Duffy was knocking on the Mayoral Tree, and was invited to climb up. 'Have a seat, Duffy,' Rolly offered him a chair, 'and tell us about all the delinquents you arrested last night at the celebration.'

'Judge, Mayor, there's good news and bad news. Can I tell you the good news first?'

'Go ahead,' the Mayor replied, 'but I'll bet the bad news will outweigh the good. At least, that's the way it always seems.'

'Well, the truth is, we hardly had to make any arrests at all. It seems that our idea of placin' the plain-overalls deputies in strategic positions worked like a charm. Whenever trouble was about to erupt, a deputy would just go over and break it up right away. True, a few koalas ended up with lumps on their heads, since we occasionally had to use our sticks to calm them down,' Duffy explained.

'You didn't seriously hurt any of them, I hope?' the Judge asked.

'Naw, just knocked some sense into 'em. They were, for the most part, so drunk that they didn't feel much anyway.'

'And you say you didn't have to make many arrests?' the Mayor inquired, amazed.

'Only one, a certain Bumpy Koala. Caught him in a real big fight up in the north.'

'Bumpy? I don't believe I know that rascal,' Rolly pondered.

'He's not from here. Said he's from Koalaville. Mabo found him fightin' with three of our koalas up on the edge of the forest.'

'What? He attacked three of our own? Must be some kind of nut!' Mayor Koala supposed.

'Well, according to him, they attacked him, which does seem more likely. He said it was Chuppy, Guppy and Moldy.'

'Aha!' the Judge exclaimed. 'The usual suspects! Why didn't you arrest them?'

'Mabo says that Bumpy punched him, and that gave the other three the chance to escape,'

Duffy went on.

'Strange. Why would he hit Mabo to let his three attackers escape? Doesn't make any sense.'

'No, Mayor, it doesn't. So maybe Bumpy's story is true. He said he didn't realize Mabo was there; he just kept thrashin' about, tryin' to protect himself from those three, and Mabo just happened to get hit,' Duffy responded.

'Yeah, well, those blasted criminal types will say anything to get off. He's probably as guilty as they are,' the Judge surmised. 'So I suppose he's chained to the Tree of Justice, awaiting trial along with those two other scoundrels?'

'Uh, well, now we're gettin' to the bad news,' Duffy hesitated.

'Give it to us straight, Duffy,' the Mayor ordered. 'What happened?'

'Well, Mabo chained Bumpy to the tree, but when he went back an hour later to take them all some food, they had all escaped, and…'

'Escaped? But those chains are strong! There's no way they could break them!' the Judge was astonished.

'They didn't break the chains, Judge. It seems they managed to open the ankle shackles somehow.'

'Without a key? Impossible!' Rolly fumed.

'Hmmm,' Mayor Koala mumbled, 'let's look at this logically. The other two – the ones who tried to break into Tama's shack and steal the liquor – had been chained up a couple of days, and hadn't escaped. Then that Bumpy joins them, and in an hour they're all gone.

Sounds to me like he's some sort of technologically savvy rapscallion, the type that you just can't keep chained up for long. Surely most dangerous.'

'Oh, I forgot to mention that we captured Chigow again, just as he was crossing the field over to Eucalyptus Grove,' Duffy added this piece of good news, 'but the other two – Bumpy and Blimpy – weren't around anywhere.'

'Huuuhh,' the Mayor sighed. 'It's always depressing to hear that a couple of villains managed to escape justice. On the other hand, having only one trial, for that Chigow, will be a cinch, and since he's not from Koalatown, I won't be bothered by a bunch of yapping relatives trying to convince me to pardon him. All in all, this news was pretty good, I'd say.'

'True,' Judge Rolly agreed, 'but maybe we should put a price on the heads of the other two. Or at the very least, all our policekoalas should be on the lookout, in case they come back here and try to stir up trouble. Suppose they try to free Chigow, for example?'

'I've thought of that already, Judge. That's why I put a guard on duty near the Tree of Justice, to make sure Chigow doesn't escape again,' said Duffy.

'Well done,' the Judge commended him, 'and I think I'm speaking for Mayor Koala as well as myself when I say that we are quite pleased with the way you handled the celebration. Only one arrest all night! Why, that is certainly some kind of record!'

'Sure is!' the Mayor added. 'Last year, you had to chain up fourteen drunkards for violent conduct, as I recall.'

'Sixteen. But ever since last summer, when the Judge here gave us permission to let our sticks do the talkin', we haven't had to arrest as many. We just teach them their lesson right then and there,' Duffy grinned.

'And it's perhaps the legal measure that works best in this grove,' Mayor Koala smiled smugly. 'In any case, I'm pleased with your work, Duffy. And tell each of your deputies they can pick up their one hundred walnuts whenever they want.'

'Uh, Mayor sir, I believe you promised to pay them one hundred and fifty walnuts each,'  Duffy reminded him.

'Oh, yeah, right, my memory isn't what it used to be!' Mayor Koala laughed, thinking that it had at least been worth a try. 'Now, run along and make our grove a safer place to live in, Duffy.'

'Right, Mayor. Bye now, and bye, Judge!' Duffy climbed down the tree and went about his daily business.

'I think we can be pleased with the celebration,' Rolly mused. 'Everybody had a great time, crime was down… It was practically perfect! Oh, who is that knocking on our tree now?'

They both looked down over the edge of the floor, and saw Isshy, one of Koalatown's two doctors.

'Huh? We're not sick. What does he want?' the Mayor mumbled to Rolly, then: 'Come right up, my fine koala!'

After climbing up the tree to the platform, Isshy respectfully greeted the two. 'Hello sirs, I am terribly sorry to bother you, but it is rather important,' he began.

'What is it? Who's sick now?' the Mayor inquired.

'Well, sir, quite a few are. I have been treating at least seventeen cases of alcohol poisoning, not to mention bruises, scrapes, a broken arm, a broken nose…'

'What?' Judge Rolly exclaimed. 'But Duffy just reported to us that there were practically no fights at all!'

'No, not that I saw,' Isshy continued, 'but a whole bunch of injuries due to falls, not to mention stomach upsets, vomiting…'

'Oh, spare me the details,' Mayor Koala whined. 'So what do you want from us?'

'Well, sir, I have a couple of difficult cases that I'm not sure how to treat, and which are rather severe. Two are related to alcohol poisoning, but of a serious nature, and one suspicion of a concussion. It almost looks as though one koala was beaten over the head with a stick…'

'Hmmm, I see,' Mayor Koala mumbled, figuring that Duffy might have done his job a trifle too well in that case.

'The truth is,' Isshy continued, 'we need Koalaville's Doctor Koala. He is the best physician around, and more qualified than my colleague Semmy and I are. After all, Doctor Koala was our teacher.'

'Oh, I see what you're getting at,' Mayor Koala moaned. 'You want us to pay for Doctor Koala to come over here and help.'

'Yes sir, that is what I was thinking. Two hundred walnuts, maybe.'

'Two hundred? That's highway robbery!' Mayor Koala was indignant.

'Experience has its price, Mayor, and Doctor Koala has more experience than anybody.'

'Hey, if he really cares about helping, why can't he come over here for free?' Rolly wanted to know.

'Well, Judge, after last year, when he did just that and saw how many medical problems were due to eucalyptus liquor, he said that if we don't ban the stuff, he would charge us this year if we asked him to come over, and…'

'Oh, extortion, huh?' the Mayor grunted. 'What the good doctor might not know is that if we banned that liquor, we'd have more serious medical problems here in Koalatown.'

'How's that, Mayor?' Isshy asked. 'Why more serious?'

'Because the Mayor and I would be the victims of the wrath of every alcoholic here in the grove, and that's quite a few of 'em,' Rolly explained.

'Oh, okay, tell Doctor Koala he can have two hundred walnuts, but see to it that he cures those miserable koalas. It would give our Great Spring Celebration a rather bad reputation if some of the party-goers ended up dropping dead. And I'm up for re-election next year, you know!' the Mayor reminded Isshy.

'Right, Mayor. I'll send a messenger and a wagon over to Koalaville to pick up Doctor Koala. Thank you both for your understanding in this matter. I know you do care about the health of our citizens. Good bye now,' Isshy said as he departed.

'Was he being sarcastic, or what?' Mayor Koala asked Rolly.

'I don't rightly know. I guess that's his idea of being diplomatic or something.'

'Well, it worked. Managed to get two hundred of my – I mean, of the Grove's – walnuts.

Doctors! I'm tellin' ya, Rolly, no sooner do you have a conversation with a doctor, than your wealth starts to melt away like snow in the sun.'

'Truer words were never spoken,' Rolly agreed, and the two of them sat down at Rolly's table to enjoy a game of cards before having lunch.