The kids had just fallen asleep. Far too late according to Helena, but on the other hand, what could she expect? They were clearly affected by such an exciting day. It was probably pure exhaustion that eventually made them fall asleep. Anyway, now they slept like babies.
She also felt exhausted after the long day and longed for her bed, but Sven had persuaded her to stay up a bit longer so they could look at the fantastic view from the elevator. She and Sven sat in a comfortable couch in front of a big window in a small private room and admired the view underneath them. The sun had set a few hours earlier and everywhere they looked they saw small spots of lights caused by cities and villages.
At the beginning of the ascent, a vertigo came over her as soon as she glanced down. But now, in the protection of the darkness, all perspectives were gone, and it was impossible to determine how high up they were.
Her husband, who earlier that day had seemed so joyful, was silent and stared with empty eyes through the window. Helena took his hand and then whispered in his ear:
"Are you okay my dear husband? Or have you also been struck by that fact that this is for real now?"
"Yes, of course. I’m not as cold-hearted as you sometimes think I am… There’s no turning back. We are leaving this wonderful world forever and we will never see our friends and family again… We must be insane to do this!"
Helena moved closer to Sven, grabbed his arm and leaned against him. She didn’t know what to say, but it felt nice that Sven felt the same way she did. They continued staring out of the window without saying anything. Everything will work out fine in the end, Helena thought. If I only have Sven and my children close to me, I will probably be okay…
She guardedly pressed her body harder against her husband and then she turned her face to him. She recognized that look in his face. But it was okay, she wanted him too.
She kissed him and whispered, "Do you think it’s possible to lock the door?"
"I don’t know," Sven whispered, "I’ll check."
Sven hastily got up on his feet and found a lock, turned it around and then hurried back into her arms. It was a long time since she had felt so strongly about how much she loved him, and they began to kiss passionately while trying to pull off each other’s clothes. After a while of fumbling they ended up naked on the floor with the clothes scattered around them…
*
"You got what you wanted my dear," Helena said and kissed Sven on his cheek.
They were still holding each other while lying on the floor and although Helena felt a bit cold, she didn’t want to go up just yet.
"Yes, it was unexpected," Sven said and smiled. "I had prepared myself on seven months of celibacy, so I’m not complaining."
He kissed her on her mouth and continued, "Why don’t we sleep here all night and wait for the sunrise?"
"I would love to do that. But we can’t stay in here all night, people will start wondering."
"Yes maybe. But one can of course wonder why they built these small rooms that you can lock from inside. I think they have included in the calculations that some couples want a moment for themselves every now and then."
"Well, you’re probably right. But I still think it’s a bit embarrassing if it’s too obvious what we’ve been doing."
Helena raised up on her elbow and gently stroked Sven's chest.
"But I’d love to see the sunrise. I can imagine that it’s even more amazing than the sunset we saw earlier. Watching the sun's rays slowly spread over our beautiful planet from this height must be a truly incredible sight. When I think about it, I just have to experience it. Can’t you and me and the kids go up really early tomorrow? Maybe we can bring some breakfast and watch the sunrise, all four of us?"
"Yes, you’re right. We can’t be such egoists. Of course, the children must be allowed to see such an amazing event. Let’s get to bed right away so we can get a few hours of sleep!"
Sven got up and began to pick up his clothes. Helena remained on the floor and glanced at him as he got dressed. Fifteen years had passed since they met, and he’s still pretty handsome, she thought and smiled. With his blond short-cut hair and his kind eyes, he would probably still be able to charm women.
She couldn’t believe it was true when he had asked her out on a date all those years ago. They had worked at the same company but in completely different departments, and she used to see him in the lunchroom sometimes. It would have been impossible not to notice him. He was tall, handsome and always the one who talked the most around the table and she noted that many of her female colleagues seemed interested in him. And of course, she was interested too, but she thought he was a bit out of her league, so she put such dreams aside.
But then they had suddenly been signed to the same project. They ended up in a group that would improve water purification filters. Nothing exciting really, but you did what you were told to do. The strange thing was that Sven barely talked to her during the project. As soon as she was nearby, he became stiff and quiet. She assumed that he was completely uninterested and didn’t give it much thought.
Hence the surprise when he at the end of the project, asked her out on a date. She said yes of course, and after that everything happened pretty fast. They quickly became inseparable and after just a few months she moved into his apartment.
And now, fifteen years later, they had a small family and were on their way to Mars. It’s strange what a date with a guy at work can lead to, she thought and smiled.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Sven cheerful voice.
"Come on Helena! Don’t just lie there like a sack of potatoes. We have to get to bed now, otherwise we will feel more dead than alive tomorrow. Here. Take my hand!"
Sven pulled her up and put his arms around her.
"Or do you want to stay for a while longer? It’s alright with me. I don’t mind," he said and began kissing her on the neck.
"Oh, stop it Sven, that's enough for now."
Helena gently pushed him away and kissed him on the cheek.
"While I’m getting dressed, can’t you sneak into the kitchen and get some sandwiches and juice packs. In that way we will not have to think about it tomorrow."
Sven sighed and said, "Okay, you’re right. I will do that. I’ll see you in our room."
Sven left and Helena locked the door before she began to put on her clothes. When she was done, she went towards the window and gazed down at the small bright spots on the ground. How high up could they be now? She had no idea. But Sven would of course know it, since he loved everything that had to do with science and technology. He would probably have said something like, "We have been traveling for about six hours now with a speed of blah blah, and we should then be blah blah kilometers up in the sky."
Helena sighed and looked up at the sky instead. The stars seemed clearer than usual and it looked like the black sky melted together with the ground and the bright spots down below. Suddenly, it felt as if the Earth was gone and that she was completely surrounded by eternal dark space. She backed away from the window and felt how the familiar feeling of fear spread through her body. Her heart pounded hard in her chest and the breathing became short and jerky. The feeling that everything would be fine was gone, and the terrible anxiety took over her soul.
She tried to restrain it, but it was impossible. She sank down on her knees, took a pillow from the couch, pressed it to her face and screamed.