Emma

The Spacecraft; Colonizer One

Emma was sitting alone at one of the smaller tables in the dining room. She always used to have such a good appetite, but today the stew on her plate was untouched. Something unusual had caught her attention. She glanced toward the large round table in the middle of the room where the captain sat with his crew. Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. No one said anything, and they all stared down at their plates. It even looked as if Maria was crying, as she was constantly wiping her eyes with her arm. Something serious must have happened, Emma thought. Probably a major conflict among the crew. But about what?

She looked at the captain of the ship. Nwake, as he was called, used to loudly entertain his crew with bad jokes and captivating stories, but now he was just staring straight ahead with empty eyes. What has happened? Could there be something wrong with the ship? Or maybe with the colony? I have to find out what’s going on. But how? I’m not going to get anything out of them if I just walk over to the table and ask if something is wrong.

Suddenly Maria rose from her chair, looked around the room with a confused look on her face, and then proceeded with quick steps toward the exit. Here’s my chance, Emma thought, and quickly got up on her feet up and followed her. She tried to approach Maria as naturally as possible.

"Hi Maria," she said with a cheerful tone. "What’s wrong with Nwake? It’s not like him to just sit there and stare without saying anything."

"Oh, hi Emma... what did you say?"

Before Emma had a chance to answer, Maria put her plate on a table and walked toward the exit. It was as if she had already forgotten that Emma was there.

How rude wasn’t that! Emma thought and ran after her and grabbed her arm.

"Maria, didn’t you hear me? I asked you a question!"

"Let me go!" Maria suddenly shouted and pulled back her arm and ran away with her hands covering her face.

"But…?"

What did I do wrong? Emma thought and started running after Maria. But after just a few steps she heard Nwake's deep voice behind her.

"Let her be Emma!"

Nwake stood up by the table and it looked like he was trying to nail Emma to the floor with his eyes.

"Leave her alone and follow me!"

Without a word he went toward the exit and Emma hurried after him.

"What was that about, Nwake? I just wanted to talk with her, but she completely ignored me."

"Can you be quiet please! I’ll explain, but can you wait until we’re alone?"

Nwake walked through the corridor without saying anything and Emma's first thought was to protest, but Nwake's dark eyes and tense body language made her realize that it was best not to.

They arrived at one of the common areas which was nearly empty during lunch time. Nwake stopped for a second, looked around and then went to some empty sofas at the far end of the room. He sank down in one of them and nodded toward Emma to sit on the sofa on the opposite side of the table.

He then leaned forward and whispered. "I shouldn’t give you this information, but because I know you will not give up and because your potential snooping can cause a damn lot of damage, I will tell you what I know. And I expect you to keep it to yourself until I decide how and when we should inform the rest of the people on this ship."

Emma nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Okay, Emma, this is how it is. Yesterday we received a short message from Earth that all communication with them will soon be shut down…"

Nwake suddenly looked sad and shook his head.

"Well, okay, but why are you so worried about that? We are not dependent on constant communication with the Earth. And it can of course be restored?"

"No, it will not happen, or the chance is in any case very small."

Emma felt a sting of anxiety in her chest. Nwake behaved very strange with his fluttering gaze and whispering voice. I can’t let him get away with this nonsense, she thought and leaned toward him and tried to sound as determined as she possibly could.

"Come on, Nwake! Stop talking in riddles, none of this makes any sense. And what do you mean when you say: it will not happen? We can of course solve a communication problem with Earth. We have thousands of engineers over there who could work on any damn problem that arises. And it can hardly be a question of a long-term interruption, right? Are we talking about days or maybe a week?"

Nwake looked into Emma's eyes and said, "Excuse me if I was inexplicit Emma, but we are done! We will not hear anything more from Earth... a big fucking comet is about to hit our dear planet and it will probably wipe everything out. It’s less than twenty-four hours to impact."

Emma stared at Nwake and he stared back.

Emma had a hard time thinking clearly. Has he gone mad? Or is he just lying? But why? And how can he expect me to believe this sick story? One thing is clear, he’s hiding something.

She couldn't hold back the anger and raised her voice, "Cut it out, Nwake! I’m not an idiot, even if you seem to think I am! We have for decades been keeping an eye on every stone larger than twenty meters that could be a threat to the Earth. Are you saying that a comet suddenly would emerge out of nowhere and devastate the planet? Quit this nonsense now and tell me the truth!"

Nwake's eyes darkened and he said with a low aggressive voice, "Emma, don’t use that tone with me! Do I have to remind you that you’re talking to the captain of the ship?! I know this as well as you do. They have probably missed something, what do I know?"

He sighed heavily and returned to his previously whispering tone. "Anyway, I’m not lying to you Emma. The information I have is that the comet is six kilometers in diameter and that they have tried to blow it up with nukes, which only resulted in it being divided into a number of kilometers-sized pieces that will hit Earth anyway. There is already total chaos over there, and it’s expected that billions of people will die at impact or during the following months after that. Those who survive will hardly have any focus on us. And even if they wanted to contact us, it would be impossible for them to do so, since they probably would be back in the Middle Ages again in terms of access to technology. It’s over for humanity as I see it Emma!"

Emma felt like the room was spinning around her. She suddenly felt sick and swallowed intensely in hopes of preventing herself from throwing up over the table. Nwake, on the other hand, seemed to relax now, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He leaned back against the couch and looked at Emma with a controlled calm look on his face.

"So, you're sure...?" Emma began.

"Yes," Nwake said calmly. " I’m not sitting here making up such a sick story just for fun, if that’s what you think."

Emma tried to gather her thoughts. The worst nausea had subsided, but she still felt the excessive saliva production in her mouth. She swallowed a few times and asked with a low voice, "Okay Nwake, who knows about this?"

Nwake sighed.

"No one, except the highest officers."

"So, you mean that everyone on the ship, except you and your closest men and women, are totally unaware of what is going to happen? When are you going to tell everyone else? Or are you planning to keep it a secret from the rest of us? People have the right to know!"

Nwake quickly straightened himself up and bent forward toward Emma and hissed, “Emma, listen up now! You shut up about this! I have the overall responsibility for everything that happens on this ship. We are traveling in almost one hundred thousand kilometers an hour in a small metal lump in empty space, and I have to take into account everything that can endanger our safety. We have no idea how people will react to such information and before I and the rest of the crew have figured out what we want to do, you don’t say a word about this to anyone, do you understand!"

"But Nwake, you can’t refuse people to get this information. You have to give them the opportunity to say goodbye to relatives and friends before it is too late, anything else would be completely absurd!"

Nwake quickly looked around. The room had filled up with more people and some of them sat close to their table.

He answered still with a low hissing voice, "Lower your voice, Emma! This is not negotiable! I decide what information the passengers should have access to. We cannot have over one hundred people breaking down at the same time on a small spaceship. It can quickly develop into a life-threatening chaotic situation, even you can understand that! So, do as I say, or I will lock you up in a small room for the rest of the journey!"

He stared at Emma.

"Well, how do you want it? Do you keep your mouth shut, or must I call for the guards and arrest you? It’s your choice."

Emma sighed heavily and leaned back. She felt suddenly drained of all her energy. She sighed again and said:

"Okay, Nwake, I get it. I understand that it can be a problem and I’ll be quiet. But I think you chose the wrong path in this mess, and I hope that you change your mind. And if you don’t tell the passengers now, when do you think they should get the information? When we arrive on Mars?"

"It’s not for you to worry about Emma! It’s my problem! Well, do we have an agreement? Can I trust you?"

"Yes, I told you so!"

She leaned back and looked up at the ceiling.

"Let me be alone now Nwake," she whispered almost as if she was talking to herself.

She kept staring up at the ceiling and barely noticed when Nwake left. She tried to gather her thoughts, but they kept spinning around in her head. What will happen to my dear planet? What will happen to my friends and relatives? Those who survive the impact will probably starve to death. And if not, they will die in the wars that undoubtedly will arise around the scarce resources that are left.

How could they have missed such a big comet? It was precisely this situation that they wanted to prevent by spending millions of Unitas every year on the protection program, and now the worst possible thing happened anyway.

And what will happen with her and the rest of the colonizers? Sure, they would most likely arrive at their destination, nothing that happened on the Earth would affect that. But then what? Were there enough resources in the colony for them to survive? They had to be completely self-sufficient at all levels, since the possibility of any help from Earth now was totally gone.

How many people will we be in the colony? Over two hundred people were already on Mars, and with their ship, they would be almost one hundred and fifty more. At least one more ship must have left Earth before the catastrophe, maybe two. Okay, there will soon be at least five hundred people living at the colony. The two greenhouses should be able to produce enough food for that many people without any problem, but then nothing can go wrong. We need to build more greenhouses to create better margins. But what should we build them with? Without a steady supply of material from Earth we can’t build anything. We may have to start extracting minerals…

"Hi, Emma!"

Emma opened her eyes and saw Anna standing beside her with her notebook pressed against her chest.

"What are you doing? she asked.

Emma tried to gather her thoughts and act as normal as possible.

"Hi Anna! No, I’m not doing anything special. I just got a little tired and sat down here for a while to rest. So… Anna, what’s up?"

"Nothing really… anyways… I just wrote a message to my friend Lisa. Do you think you could help me with the transmission to Earth?"

"Eh, sure. But isn’t it better that you ask your mom or dad to help you with that?"

"Yes, I could do that… But in the message, I mention about our secret hiding place and that I met you, and I don’t want Mom and Dad to find out about it, because then they will just make sure I can’t go there anymore and then I can’t meet you either…"

"Okay, okay, take it easy Anna. I can help you with that, no problem."

Anna immediately looked relieved and sat down beside her on the couch. It was probably a good idea that it didn’t come out in public that she was hanging out with an eleven-year-old girl at nights, Emma thought. It would probably provoke some people. And Anna's parents would probably not be so fond of the fact that she was one of the reasons why their daughter didn’t get a proper night’s sleep.

Anna continued to talk in calmer tone, "I’m going to tell Lisa that I really don’t want to go to Mars, that I never really wanted to go there, but that I still have to try to make the best of the situation as long as I stay there."

"As long as you stay there?"

"Yes, I have decided to stay on Mars just as long as I have to, but as soon as I’m old enough and no one can tell me what to do, I will go back to Earth again."

Emma felt suddenly nauseous. There will be nothing to go back to, everything will soon be gone, she thought. She swallowed a few times and said:

"But Anna, I don’t think you can go back just because you feel like it. It costs huge amounts of money to transport people between the planets. I don’t think they would allow such a thing."

The nausea didn’t go away, and it felt so terrible to lie to her.

"Are you okay Emma?" Anna suddenly asked. "You look so pale!"

"I’m fine Anna, I’m just a little tired, that’s all..."

Anna studied Emma worriedly for a few seconds, and she seemed like she was going to something more about her strange behavior. But instead, her facial expression changed, and she continued in an angry voice, "But it’s really insane when you think about it! I want to be able to decide for myself whether I want to go to Mars or not! I want to make my own decisions, at least when I’m old enough, don’t you think so?"

Anna quieted for a few seconds and waited for Emma to answer, but she couldn’t come up with anything to say.

"Yes, I know what you’re thinking," Anna continued. "You probably think I just feel like this now, and that after a while I will start to like Mars. But it won’t happen. I will return back to Earth in one-way or another, and I want to meet Lisa and my other friends as soon as I can. Earth is my home, and you may think what you want about it!"

Emma swallowed, sighed heavily and put her hand on Anna’s shoulder.

"You are right Anna! You have of course the right to make your own decisions when you are old enough. And if you really want to go back to Earth, then you should of course try to get back in some way. Everyone has the right to make their own choices in life..."

Suddenly she felt a stinging pain in her chest, and it was hard to breathe. Everything felt so wrong. I can’t sit here and pretend that she has a chance to fulfill her dream. I have to do something. And I have to do it now, before it’s too late!

She looked Anna straight into her eyes and said, "You know what, Anna? I will be happy to help you with the transmission. But could it wait a while? I have to do one thing, one important thing first. Is it okay with you?"

Anna nodded cautiously.

"Good!" Emma continued. "I have to go now, but we'll meet later today and then I’ll help you, I promise."

"Okay, Emma, if you say so…"

Emma forced herself out of the couch. Her legs felt wobbly and she still felt a bit nauseous. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. There is only one thing I can do, she thought, and then went with firm steps back to the dining room.