The entire day following Miko’s death was spent in nearly complete silence. They had recently visited a monastery where all the sisters took vows of silence, but until this day, none of the students could imagine doing that out of choice. Now, for at least one day, it seemed right.
A dozen or more groups of travelers passed by on the trail that day, some going up carrying heavy loads, others coming down with little, except perhaps a few gold nuggets hidden away. Those going down included two priests on foot, the elder wearing a scowl, the younger a sad look of resignation. None of the travelers on the trail knew what was happening at the hidden camp on the other side of the boulders.
After a sleepless night, Neti sat by Miko’s still form all day long, usually in silence, sometimes in tears. At least one of the girls was always with her, and often one of the boys. They all had fond memories of Miko, and needed to deal with their own grief, as well as comfort Neti.
Everyone else took turns getting water, or taking Tera to find more grass, or just poking around half-heartedly collecting a few sticks. At one point in the afternoon, Sata noticed that Ilika was taking the pot to get water, so she tagged along.
“I’m trying really hard to understand what happened, and I want to believe you when you say this place is natural, but a little voice in my head keeps telling me there’s a connection between the weird rocks and Miko dying.”
NEBADOR Book Three: Selection 64
“There certainly is a connection. He fell from one of them.”
Sata couldn’t help but smile. “Okay . . . but isn’t it something about the weird shapes?”
“I know what you’re trying to do, Sata, but saying the rocks are evil is just pushing a human weakness away from us so we don’t have to deal with it.”
Ilika let some time pass in silence while he filled the pot at the trickling spring beside the trail.
“Rini finds the rocks very beautiful,” Ilika continued. “You, and most of the others, are very careful when climbing on rocks. So you have two choices.
You can brush off responsibility by saying the rocks are evil and somehow caused Miko’s death. Or you can figure out what happened up there on the boulders, what Miko’s weakness was, learn from his mistake, and become stronger in the process. I’ve already been up on the boulders. It’s not hard, and it’s not even very dangerous . . . except for the last one that he missed.”
Sata was very thoughtful as they slowly trudged back uphill toward the camp.
“One thing I can guarantee,” Ilika added, “is that the world will never change itself because of our weaknesses. In fact, it has ways of actually becoming more dangerous when we approach it with a bad attitude.”
He fell silent as they approached the camp.
On the second day, Neti started asking questions.
Unfortunately, no one had answers to most of her questions. She didn’t expect answers — she was talking to herself, to Miko, to all the unknown forces in the world she did not understand.
She was shocked when, a little after a lunch she hardly touched, someone said they had an answer to one of her questions.
“I know why Miko died,” Sata announced. “Do you want me to tell you?”
Neti pondered this for a moment, then whispered, “Yes . . .”
Sata took a deep breath. “Ilika challenged me to understand and learn from Miko’s death. So I decided to do that. I don’t know anything about spirit worlds. Ilika knows about that stuff. I’m just a girl trying to learn where to put my feet . . . and where not to.”
Everyone was spread out around the campsite and the nearby rocks. Now
NEBADOR Book Three: Selection 65
they gathered close to hear what Sata had to say.
“Boro, would you help me show what happened?”
“Sure.”
Sata looked around. “See that rock that has a sloping top?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you stand on it?”
“No problem,” Boro declared, and stepped onto the small boulder without slipping.
“Okay, jump down,” Sata requested, then got a handful of sandy dirt and sprinkled it on the rock. “Can you stand on it now?”
Boro tried to step onto the rock again, but his boot immediately slid out from under him and he landed on his rump on the ground.
Most everyone chuckled, as Boro was unhurt and smiling. A slight smile even appeared on Neti’s face.
“That’s why Miko died. I’ve been up there. The last boulder he jumped from is covered with sand. You can’t see it until you’re on top of it. He might have made it to the pointy rock if he had a good place to leap from. He might have seen the sand, but was going too fast to stop.”
Hearing it described, Neti found herself reliving the moments of Miko’s fall. She burst into tears, and Kibi and Rini wrapped their arms around her.
Sata remained silent, not knowing if she should say anything else.
“So . . .” Neti began as she wiped her face and tried to collect herself. “So he wasn’t completely stupid?”
“I don’t think he was stupid at all!” Sata replied. “He was brave . . . maybe a little too brave for these rocks. I’d really like to blame it on the rocks, or on the sand. But I can’t. I know that now. They’re just there, doing what rocks and sand do.”
Neti was thoughtful after Sata’s demonstration and didn’t ask any more questions for the entire afternoon. She finally ate some soup at dinner.
As the sun set on that warm summer day, everyone started to notice the odor. After dishes were done, Neti finally asked the question she dreaded asking. “What do I do now, Ilika?”
“We need to bury Miko soon. It’s your choice where we do that, but it has
NEBADOR Book Three: Selection 66
to be close. And we’ll have whatever ceremony you want. I’ve never done this, so I hope you’ll all help me figure it out.”
Neti was silent awhile. “I don’t know. Is here okay? Or would people be camping here?”
“There was no sign of anybody ever using it when we got here,” Boro explained. “Too near the pass.”
Rini opened his arms wide. “This is a beautiful place. It’s hidden from the trail, but you can see forever!”
“We could bring rocks from where he died,” Kibi suggested.
Neti sighed. “I don’t know anything about ceremonies. I’ll probably just cry. You know about spirits and things, right Ilika?”
“A little. Miko’s spirit isn’t here anymore. It left as soon as he died, and is resting . . . in a special place. The ceremony and burial are for us, to help us say good-bye.”
“I’ve heard priests talk about funerals,” Kibi said with a frown, “and it always comes down to giving them money. What you’re saying, Ilika, makes a lot more sense to me. How do you know this stuff?”
“Where I come from, everyone knows.”
After breakfast on the third day, Boro asked for Toli’s help moving rocks.
Rini and Buna joined the effort without being asked. They brought all the rocks they could move from where Miko had landed, and then collected more from other areas. Boro could carry many the others could not.
With Neti’s blessing, Kibi and Sata started preparing the burial site in the center of their camping area. Ilika found some stout sticks, sharpened them with the knife, and they dug into the dirt as far as they could.
When Sata stopped to wipe the sweat from her face, she found Neti handing her a cup of water and offering to take the stick from her. Sata hesitated, then smiled and released the stick. There were plenty of rocks still to carry.
By the time the diggers started to hit bedrock, they had a hole big enough for Miko about a foot deep, two if they counted the mound of loose dirt.
As the day warmed, they were all motivated by the odor to hurry. Soon they felt satisfied with the pile of rocks they had moved, and gathered around
NEBADOR Book Three: Selection 67
the unlit fire.
“I think we should have an hour of silence,” Rini suggested.
Sata wiped her forehead. “I want to wash before the ceremony.”
“Me too,” Boro agreed, “but after we move Miko.”
Others shared their wishes for the ceremony, and Ilika wove it all into a plan. He and Boro wrapped Miko in his blankets, then carried him to his last resting place. They held their breath as much as possible, and when the task was completed, hurried down to the spring.
In silence, most of them washed, some sat in meditation, and a few collected wild flowers. Even Tera was very quiet. About an hour later they gathered around the open grave. The coolness of the earth made the stench bearable.
Ilika tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Death is a mystery until we experience it. This is a time for sharing any thoughts or feelings about Miko, his death, or death itself. Neti decides when you may speak. When she hands you a pebble, it is your turn.”
Kibi set a pile of pebbles in front of Neti.
Neti hadn’t expected this, but it felt good. She just wished she could hand Miko a pebble.
Everyone spoke of Miko as a friend, and recounted the many times he had been helpful to them in some way. They all sensed it was a time to forgive and forget little slights, and indeed, no one could think of anything important to complain about. When Miko’s weaknesses had gotten the best of him, it had always been to his own harm, and no one else had ever been seriously hurt.
Mati, Misa, and Rini had flowers to place in the grave. Kibi and Toli both had tears to shed as they spoke. Sata had written a few words of farewell on paper, which she placed on Miko’s chest along with the flowers.
“I guess I’m the only one left,” Neti began with a shaking voice, fingering the remaining pebbles. Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she didn’t seem to notice. “I loved you, Miko. I would have been yours forever. Now I can’t be.
You were a pain in the butt sometimes, but I loved you anyway.” She picked up the pebbles and tossed them into the grave.
Everyone took turns putting a rock or a handful of dirt gently onto Miko’s body. Ilika and Boro set to work doing the rest, with others handing them
NEBADOR Book Three: Selection 68
rocks. About the time they finished, the sun slipped away over the mountains and left them in shadow.
Deep Learning Notes
What events in your life have made you want to be silent or quiet for a day?
Why were the two priests coming down the mountain on foot, instead of riding horses?
One of the biggest problems we have, as human beings, when trying to understand the universe, is the difficult task of separating reality from things that come completely from our minds. The things from our minds we sometimes call “superstitions.” In this chapter, Ilika challenged Sata to understand the reality of Miko’s death, instead of hiding behind a superstition, her tendency to blame things on nature, calling them “evil.”
Sata’s tendency to externalize evil is very common; most of us do it. She started wrestling with it, you may remember, at the hot springs in Book Two.
Here, by accepting her teacher’s challenge, she learned some things about nature, and helped Neti let go of some of the resentment she felt at Miko for getting himself killed.
The natural process Sata came to understand is called “lubrication.” When small particles separate two larger objects, the small particles roll and reduce friction between the larger objects. Mountain climbers must be aware of this danger, as they need maximum friction between their boots and the rocks to avoid slipping.
The last phase of the grieving process is acceptance. The odor coming from the dead body forced Neti to reach a tentative acceptance, even though a final acceptance will take much longer, and for some people, never comes.
Ilika told them that the funeral ceremony was not for Miko, as his spirit was
NEBADOR Book Three: Selection 69
no longer there, but instead was for them, his friends who had to go on living.
How does this fit with your beliefs?
What mental image is created for you of Ilika’s current home (not his childhood home) when he says that everyone there knows about spiritual matters?
What value might there be for Neti to help dig the grave?
Why did it feel good to Neti to decide who spoke, and when, at the funeral ceremony?