Chapter Five
They were right in front of me. The two of them sitting on the bed, talking quietly to each other. I implicitly knew that they were Winston and Julia. We were in my apartment for some reason but I didn’t question it. There was noise down the hallway, loud, boisterous, incomprehensible shouting. They were coming toward us and I knew that they were trouble. Then they crowded through the open doorway, six or seven of them. I told Winston and Julia to run, then stepped aside as the invaders approached, but they remained unresponsive, still as the world collapsed around them. My room was trashed. They flipped the bed, broke the shower head, opened my drawer and ripped apart my clothes. Then they surrounded the pair, who continued to stand still as they were hit; kicked in the shins and punched in the jowl. With shouts over the din, I questioned them from my side of the room, asking why they didn’t fight back. They did not respond. I then pushed through the throng who seemed to be apathetic to my existence to drag them out of their mess myself. With one hand on each of their shirts, I attempted to pull them away. But they were like rocks; heavy and uncompromisingly still. It was hopeless. Then, as soon as they were seized by the throng, they became easily moveable, and were marched out of the room. I was left alone, angry, distraught, the room a picture of destruction. Almost as an afterthought, a few of the assailants returned, lifting the bed and putting it back as it was, screwing the showerhead back onto the wall, depositing new clothes in my drawers, ignoring me as I stood there. Eventually, one of them dragged me onto the bed and lay me down. Then they were gone again, and it was like nothing had ever happened.
And then I was somewhere else. A different room, a place I didn’t recognise. Joseph K, out of nowhere, next to me. A knock from a door. And from the open door two people came into the room. I felt like I needed to be outside, and so I moved passed them and exited. Suddenly, I was in a dark open field. K and the two of them were there as well. One of them stripped K while another found a spot next to a boulder and led K there. I had a knife in my hand, and I felt that I would have only one opportunity to use it. I swung at the one who was closest to K. the knife hit its side, and bounced right off. After this failure, I was pushed to the side, and though I tried to move, I couldn’t. I could only watch as they began their work on K. They had a knife as well. One of them reached into their pocket and awkwardly fumbled it out. It dropped it. Grab it, I thought, pleading with K in my mind. Grab it and stab them and run and run and run! But no. They picked it up. They put K down on the boulder. They even held out the knife for K to kill itself. It could’ve easily snatched the knife. But it did nothing. And so, they lunged and plunged the knife into its chest, and I was already fleeing even though I didn’t need to. The whole world was hateful to me. There was something miserable, something wrong, and K had done nothing and died.
I woke up. It was bright and I couldn’t see for a while, but I could hear voices nearby, and snatches of conversation. “…doesn’t have the implant…” “…the leader’s orders…” My eyes adjusted, and I turned to see a group of four of them at the bottom of the stairs. My eyes met a pair of one of theirs, and it announced to the group, “It’s awake.” The four of them raced up the stairs. They had rope, and despite my struggling they efficiently bound my arms and legs. I remembered K and Winston and Julia and I tried to fight. My mind wanted desperately to move but my body was immovable. Just like the others. One of them pulled out a syringe from under its coat, and began looking for an appropriate spot on my arm to jab it in. I couldn’t stop it. The syringe went into me. A sharp pain; and I began to feel numb. They pulled me down the stairs, lugging me by my arms, my legs dragging behind. Even as they pulled me, in the brightness of day, my eyelids grew weary and I grew weary.