Chapter Eleven
As it straggled its way back to the commune, the sun fell under the horizon and the land disappeared into darkness after a brilliance of reddish hues. In place of the sun, there rose the moon, and a white blanket across the sky, a shimmering mass of pinpoint lights. And the feeling came back for 541588. The feeling of seeing sunrise, the feeling of seeing the dancing flames under the fearsome storm. Despite its pain and hunger, the undeniable grandeur, beauty and more indescribable qualities of its present experience made it want to stop and pause, and the world to pause, forever. It was good to be alone, to walk in peace, to be alive, to just be.
Feeling better, 541588 began to reflect on its journey and its future. What was its mission? What was it fighting for? The mission was freedom. Why? Because freedom is good. Why is it good? The answer evaded it. More questions. What did it need to do next? It needed to continue its fight. Why? Because the fight is for freedom and freedom is good. Then the self-loathing. If the fight is worthy, why did it not try harder? It did not have the mental willpower nor the belief to catch the others. And even if it did catch them, what then? Attack them? Kill them? Then what? They would send more, better ones than before. But what could it do? They were too strong. It saw the black monster that they did not unleash, but could have if they wished it. How would it defeat it? What was even the point of defeating it? It was all for the freedom, freedom which is good. No, it wasn’t even sure why it was good. In fact, it wasn’t good. Why did it think it was good then? 541588 just did, just created its own meaning, its own game, but now, under the glare of deep contemplation, it saw the truth in everything. The future uncertainties and past mistakes all melted away into a mass of nothing. Everything it thought and felt was unintelligible. It existed. That was all.
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