Puzzle Master Book 2: Master of None by T.J. McKenna - HTML preview

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Chapter Six

 

The duty roster still includes guard shifts to watch me; but it hardly matters, because everyone knows where I’ll be found. Hand-to-hand combat is a puzzle of motion for me to solve as much with my brain as with my body, and I spend the next week training with anyone who’s available to spar. The sessions are no longer excuses for vicious attacks on me or an opportunity to seek revenge, but I do sense that some of them still harbor doubts about me. 

I catch glimpses of Martha watching me from the trees every day, but she never approaches or speaks to me.

My second match comes down to the fact that I can tell exactly what sort of attack my opponent is about to throw, based solely on the distance she spreads her feet apart and the angles they make on the ground. I know every punch and kick that’s coming before it arrives; so the match doesn’t even get to the sticks round. I move from number fifteen to number eight. The woman I beat joins me in Bible study an hour after the match, bruised but smiling.

When nobody wants to spar, my guards allow me to go for long runs in the woods with the agreement I don’t tell Martha that they let me go off alone. I like long runs. Letting my legs work on autopilot frees up my brain. Too often my thoughts and memories turn to pain as I think about how much I miss spending time with Martha; so I try to focus on how I can serve Christ and spread the good news.

I also think a lot about my own path forward and decide the best way I can serve Jesus is to return to teaching. Since I can’t walk into my old classroom in Colorado Springs, I present the staff at Bethany House with a technical challenge: hack me into the live broadcasts of my old class, which have gone on without me - using a professor that was hand-picked by the government. The house is excited to do something other than act as a quiet listening post or train for combat. Since I’ll be near communication equipment, Martha decides that security concerns will require her to coordinate the hack from the control booth, though I think she’s just using it as an excuse to return to speaking terms.

Bethany House has a small studio, with a podium where I’ll stand to do the broadcast. It’s not as large or fancy as the university studio where I once worked; but it has a warm, comfortable feeling, like I’ve arrived in exactly the spot where God wants me to teach His Word.

“We’re going to let the lecture start as usual and you’ll break in after a minute or two,” Martha says from the control room. “Do you know the woman they have teaching your old classes?”

As we speak through the glass, she removes some pins and allows her hair to fall from its “command center bun” to hanging freely around her shoulders.

Why must she do that? It’s easier to forget about our time together when the hair is up in the bun.

“All too well,” I say. “Her name is Karen Talkington and she was probably picked by Henry Portman himself. Let’s just say Karen isn’t exactly a deep thinker. She’s an implausible combination of a remarkable memory coupled with an unremarkable intellect. As long as everything fits into her neat and narrow way of thinking, she can put on a good lecture. She’ll do whatever she’s told to do if she thinks it’ll help her climb the ladder, and can perform amazing feats of self-delusion to justify herself.”

“It sounds like you’ve known her for a while.”

“Religious studies is a small community. I nicknamed her ‘Talks-a-ton’ because she can speak for hours without saying anything. I let the nickname slip at a party after an international symposium and it spread. She didn’t like that much, and neither did her fans.”

“She has fans?”

“People who say what the audience wants to hear will always have fans, no matter how narrow-minded the message. People who tell the audience what they don’t want to hear will be hated for it, no matter how great the message is. That’s why Christ was crucified, isn’t it? He offered a message most people didn’t want to hear. If He had brought the message ‘keep on sinning, it’s all good,’ He would have been very popular with the sinners of His day too.”

“Here she is now,” Martha says.

Karen’s face appears on the screen. She may have been pretty at some point in her life; but time and vanity have taken their toll. The many facial enhancements are obvious and out-of-place on a woman of her age. The effect is much like a woman who wears clothing that’s too young for her. It inspires pity rather than desire. The control board in front of me shows me her statistics. There’s nobody in her studio audience and just six students watching the lecture live. There are no offers for sex.

Nobody needs the grade that badly.

“In today’s lecture, we’re going to compare the destructive, addictive qualities of early twenty-first century religion to the destructive, addictive qualities of drugs that existed in that time period,” Karen says.

“I need a minute to take over her controls,” Martha says.

I begin to pray silently. I hope returning to lecturing fits well with God’s plan for me.

“Mankind, of course, eliminated addictive drugs many decades ago; so we don’t worry about it in our modern, perfect world. But what were the hallmarks of an addiction?” Karen asks, not expecting an answer.

“Addictions were marked by an uncontrollable and irrational need for something outside of ourselves. Sometimes that addiction was physical - to something like a drug - and sometimes it was a psychological addiction to something like religion. Either way, the addict got an artificial, but temporary ‘high’ that was soon followed by a craving to repeat that ‘high’ as soon as possible. In the case of religion, that explains the drive to attend church on a regular basis.”

“I almost have it,” Martha says.

I adjust my tie again, without thinking.

“Once addicted to a drug or religion, addicts found themselves in the company of fellow addicts and therefore had little chance of escape.”

“Got it,” Martha says.

The screen the world and I are seeing is now split between me and Karen.

“Luckily, my students are more fortunate, Karen. I’m here to offer them a chance to escape from your lecture.”

“What? What is this? Is that Dr. Paulson?”

“Yes, Dr. Talkington. This is Cephas Paulson. It’s good to be back behind the podium.”

I look at the student counter. The number watching has already jumped by two as the few who were watching start contacting others via their coms.

“You can’t do this,” Karen says.

The count jumps first by six and then by another ten. Martha sends me a message saying our hack attack is already being reported as “breaking news” on several channels. The count is now doubling or tripling every few seconds.

“I’m sorry, Karen, but I never got to give my final lectures, so I feel I owe it to the students. So, if you’ll excuse me?”

Martha shrinks Karen’s side of the screen to a small box in a lower corner. Thankfully she’s also muted.

“Dr. Talkington had a good idea. Let’s talk about the state of religion in early twenty-first century America. As a quick backdrop, let’s also make a couple of generalizations about religion prior to that time. Prior to the birth of Christianity, prior to Judaism, Islam, Buddhism and Hinduism, there were tribal priests and shaman who claimed to be able to speak with fire gods, wind gods and whatnot. Later, the ancient Egyptians followed suit, as did the Greeks and Romans with Zeus and the gang. Even when the God of Abraham revealed Himself to mankind, they still had one thing in common with their pagan predecessors, namely religion.”

In the corner of the screen, Dr. “Talks-a-ton” is gesticulating wildly.

“Worship is the basis of religion; but all too often religion bears little resemblance to worship. Instead, religion became a structure created by man to take power over other men in God’s name. Whether this is through the evil intentions of men or is merely a byproduct of good intentions can be argued, but please remember the definition I just gave you: Religion is typically a structure created by man to take power over other men in God’s name.”

The viewing counter has topped ten thousand. Martha must have opened up access to the public.

“It’s no secret I’m a follower of Christ, and for that reason it pains me to say Christianity followed all other religions down the path I just described. Church leaders became more powerful than kings in the centuries that followed Christ’s resurrection. They had more gold and they had more swords at their command. Even when the United States was born, a great deal of the new nation’s wealth and power rested in the hands of a few religious leaders rather than the government.

I glance at the counter and see it’s jumping by hundreds at a time.

“Of course, the original First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution prohibited establishment of an official state religion. But was that concept included in the Bill of Rights to keep religion out of government? Was it ever the goal of the founders to stifle faith among our elected leaders? Or did they recognize that faith is an inherent part of our very being? Could it be that they wrote the First Amendment to ensure faithful leadership by ensuring no single religion could dominate the new government?”

I pause again and take a drink of water.

“Which brings me back to the topic of this class: Christianity from the beginning of the twenty-first century to the present. Specifically, I’d like to speak to the decline of Christianity in the United States from the year 2000 through the beginning of the Final Holy War in 2036. Some would say it’s inaccurate to refer to this period as a ‘decline’ because from 2000 to 2020 church membership was rising. In response, I’d argue an increase in membership isn’t the same thing as an increase in the number of believers.”

I see “Talks-a-ton” throw her hands into the air and walk off camera.

“Let’s think for a moment about the early 2000’s. At the beginning of the semester, we discussed how this period was marked by substantial changes in American culture. Old institutions were placed under constant attack, such as changes to the definition of ‘marriage’ and erosion of the family unit through government social welfare programs that allowed - or even encouraged - women to have children without holding men responsible for the raising of that child.”

A young man enters the small screen where Karen had been standing earlier. His face is well hidden by a hat and sunglasses. He holds up four fingers to the camera and then retreats off screen again.

“At the same time, what were once considered sacred Christian doctrines were being slowly manipulated by government intervention in cultural and religious affairs. For example, businesses run by Christians were told they must do business with individuals whose religious beliefs conflicted with their own. When Christian businesses refused to compromise their religious standards, their companies were destroyed by the government, using anti-discrimination laws.”

The count of the number of viewers has topped two hundred thousand. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to the number of people watching the mindless entertainment programs available at this moment, but it’s a start.

“Thanks for bearing with me as I set the stage for the question I want to ask: Namely, what was the government’s official policy regarding religion through these decades?”

My board lights up as students registered in the class try to answer the question. I select a young woman named Lisa on the island of Trinidad in the Caribbean, and her face comes up on the screen.

“The government was trying to appear as religiously neutral as possible because it was trying to maintain the separation of church and state.”

“I love your wording, Lisa. The key word in your answer is ‘appear’ to remain neutral. Let’s not get started on the whole ‘separation of church and state’ thing, which was never in the U.S. Constitution in the first place. Let’s explore the ways the government ‘appeared’ to be religiously neutral. Anyone?”

I choose Oscar in Mexico City.

“Prayer, including non-denominational prayer, was removed from public schools at things like sporting events and graduations because it was deemed an endorsement of religion by the state and because it offended non-believers.”

“Excellent example. Who can give me another?”

I choose Larko in Ghana.

“The ten commandments were removed from courthouses.”

“I can see you’ve all been doing some studying in my absence. So the government was removing all references to God and religion. They took ‘In God we Trust’ off the money and removed His name from the Pledge of Allegiance. So what? What’s wrong with the government appearing to maintain neutrality?”

This time my board remains dark. Either nobody wants to suggest an answer or they’re too eager to hear mine.

“The problem goes right back to the word ‘appear.’ Let’s go back to the original wording of the First Amendment: ‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.’ What would be the best way to get around that amendment and, in fact, establish a state religion?”

Again nobody volunteers.

“Perhaps the best and only way to accomplish such a feat would be if your religion claims to be a lack of religion. Everything you do could be passed off in the name of maintaining ‘religious neutrality.’ From the outside, you could appear to be the epitome of high-minded and objective, as you slowly remove God from all public places.”

The viewer count has hit a half million and “Talks-a-ton” is back on screen, with her arms crossed.

“If we assume I’m correct in my estimation that the founding fathers wanted a system where no one religion could dominate, then their vision failed in the early 2000’s and atheism became the unofficial religion of the United States government, long before the First Amendment was changed.”

I signal Martha to end the transmission.

****

“Walk with me up to the command center,” Martha says, as she fastens her hair back up into a tight bun.

“Why? I’m not allowed in.”

“Amelia gets off her shift soon. I thought you might like to see her.”

I smile.

“We’re just friends and occasionally I put my head in her lap while she laser cauterizes a deep cut.”

“That’s her story too,” Martha says. “It’s okay this once. Go ahead in and say hello to her.”

As I enter the command center, the staff looks up for a moment, but go back to their work when they see Martha behind me.

“Amelia, you have a visitor,” Martha says.

Amelia smiles, but it’s Martha’s face that I’m studying and she’s studying mine. Amelia is literally caught in the middle.

“How’d you get in here?” Amelia asks.

“I let him in to see you,” Martha replies for me.

Around the room, the staff are tilting their heads to listen. Less than a quarter of the staff is here, but everyone will know of this conversation before the sun sets.

“I thought it would be a nice treat for him. Besides, the list of next week’s matches comes out in a few minutes and I thought he’d like to see who he’s up against.”

Martha’s eyebrows go up by a millimeter.

She’s already seen the list.

Amelia’s eyes are shifting back and forth between Martha and me. Behind Martha, there’s a screen displaying a map of North America with hundreds of locations marked. Most are green, but a few are red. Most major cities have at least one light; but the majority appear to be in more rural areas.

“What’s that display all about?” I ask.

When Martha sees what I’m talking about, she reaches over and turns off the screen.

“You weren’t supposed to see that. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you in without telling someone to turn it off ahead of time.”

I picture the map in my mind.

“It was a map of all the Four safe houses in North America, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, and given your ability to observe and memorize, I didn’t want the information in your head.”

The heads around us tilt even farther.

“I thought you weren’t that integrated.”

“We are and we aren’t. We can send each other messages to coordinate efforts, but we don’t know the full names of the members at any given house, and we don’t know the physical location of the houses - other than the city and its Biblical code name. That way, if someone is captured, there’s a limit to who else they can compromise. On the other hand, our computers are linked to automatically back-up to other locations if a house hits the panic button.”

“The panic button? It sounds like something out of a spy movie,” I say.

“Which is probably where the idea came from. If a house is discovered, two members can put in a code that will send our data to the other houses and fry the drives beyond recovery.”

She’s answering my questions in front of the staff. Why?

“Why were most of the houses marked in green, but a couple were marked in red?”

The body language of everyone in the room is changing as she shares information with me. It’s as if they’ve been waiting for Martha’s approval to allow themselves to like me.

“The light switches to red when a house goes offline. Most of the time it’s either maintenance in the smaller houses that only have a few computers or someone gets nervous the feds have detected them and shuts down for a while. The biggest houses never go offline, but some of Four’s smallest houses are nothing more than a computer sitting in a barn or a basement.”

“There’s nothing wrong with humble beginnings,” I say. “Like being born in a manger.”

That raised some eyebrows.

“Now that you’ve told me these things, are you going to double the guard?” I ask.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’ve found a reason to stay.”

Martha raises her eyebrows and looks down at Amelia, who blushes.

People have been coming into the room because the match up list is about to come out. Martha orders her com to bring it up onto a large screen on the wall so everyone can see it.

“Bad luck, Cephas,” Martha says as I scan the list. “You’re going to have to give her a major beating or you’ll move down the board.”

My opponent is Amelia.