I Know Kung Fu
For the first time since coming here, I woke up to my alarm instead of Holly. I felt well rested, but was tainted by a tinge of sadness. Had she not tried to get here earlier? Was she still upset about yesterday? I let out a sigh as I extracted myself from the tangle of sheets and got to my feet. I needed to be more mature than this. I needed confidence to win over a woman like her.
I dressed in the same outfit as yesterday and made my way downstairs for breakfast. Today Logan had his turn at their front desk. I had never heard a phone ring and I didn’t imagine a lot of people tried to wander in. I wondered what they did there. We nodded at each other in acknowledgement while I made my way past.
Aaron and James were the only two at breakfast. I grabbed some food and sat at the other end of the table from them. They were talking furtively when I first entered but stopped when I sat down.
“You’ll be working with Derek and Holly again this morning,” James called across the table to me.
“They are waiting for you downstairs. Wanted to get an early start to the morning,” he finished.
I nodded, mouth full. I finished eating quickly and headed for the door. James and Aaron finished around the same time. James left to talk to Derek, but Aaron was headed the same way I was. Great.
We both entered the elevator in silence. It groaned to life and started its downward journey with a jolt. I wasn’t sure I’d ever truly trust it. Only when the old gear-work started grinding did Aaron feel the need to say anything.
“I guess you think you’re pretty special, huh?” He didn’t even look at me when he spoke.
I stared straight ahead, letting the sounds of the machine-work fill my head. I still didn’t know why Aaron seemed to have such a problem with me when everyone else had accepted me, more or less.
“You get hand-selected by the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. Then she introduces you to this secret world. And you just waltz in. No hard work. Just dealt the best hand. Nothing actually earned,” he continued.
Now he turned toward me, so I turned to meet his gaze, hands held loosely at my side, but entire body tensed.
“We’ve been fighting and dying for each other longer than you’ve been off your mother’s tit,” he taunted.
Ok, that had to be an exaggeration. They weren’t that much older than me.
“You think you can just walk in here and be one of us?”
“No. That’s why I’m in training.” I glared right back at him.
He may not want me here, but the rest seemed didn’t seem to mind me too much. And of course, there was Holly. That helped. For the first time I felt like my life might mean something, like I had a reason for these abilities. A purpose.
So if dealing with him being upset about getting the short end of the virus stick was what I had to do, I would.
“You know, there are people out there right now, in dangerous situations, who could die at any moment if we don’t do our jobs. Do you really think you’re up to that?” he asked.
I stood in silence, waiting. The elevator ground to a halt.
“I don’t think you are. You look like a spoiled kid, handed a golden spoon. And when you fail, it’ll be my life on the line.” He yanked open the elevator door and walked away.
I watched him go for a second before I stepped out as well.
He kind of had a point. I had just invaded their world, and my only qualification was random luck.
These guys were elite soldiers before the virus.
I looked over toward the training mats. Mia and Lily were working together. They obviously had fun with it, but they were clearly working hard to get better. Like their lives depended on it, because theirs did.
Me? I thought it was cool being able to see what I could do.
I tried to shrug it off. I wasn’t about to regret having these abilities, even just being alive, because there was some jealousy from my “colleagues.” Though, when your colleagues are elite killers, it takes a little more than a shrug of the shoulders to forget about it.
I walked up to Derek and Holly, who were waiting for me near the punching bags.
“Making friends?” Holly asked cheerfully.
“Not really,” I replied curtly.
“Oh, well don’t worry about him,” she responded. “Today we’re going to see how much you can put together. You’ll be sparring with us for the morning, no weapons or anything. Try to use all the different strikes Derek taught you.”
That sounded good to me. A chance to blow off some steam and practice what I’d learned yesterday.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t so straightforward. We spent the next two hours going over, for lack of better description, fight theory. Derek explained that they basically used a hybridized version of Krav Maga, which itself was an Israel Defense Forces hybrid technique that incorporated boxing, wrestling, Aikido, Judo, Karate, and more. Contrary to what popular martial arts movies would have had me believe, there was no golden bullet when it came to hand-to-hand combat, no single technique or skill that was above all others. It was a chess match, a game of wits played as fast as humanly possible, or in our case, even faster. Limiting yourself to a single technique or style of fighting opened up weaknesses and made you predictable, he explained.
So my morning workout wasn’t the high-speed stress-reliever I was hoping for. It was more of a slow-motion walk through. Derek or Holly would make a move, and I would have to counter. Then I would have to explain why I moved the way I did. Derek believed that not even a single step should be made for no reason.
At first it seemed I never did anything right. I had no rationale for why I did what I did. If Derek stepped forward, I stepped back.
“Why?” Holly asked.
“To get away from the huge man coming toward me!” I answered.
But that wasn’t the right answer. Every move was energy expended, a signal to your partner about future moves, or a tell about your own tendencies.
“Well… Explain the fight yesterday. Why did you move the way you did?” Holly demanded, her voice full of exasperation.
“Hmm.” I pondered her question.
I had yet to tell any of them about seeing shadows. Now didn’t seem like the right time. If anything, I wanted to talk to Holly about it first, preferably alone. And even before that, I wanted to talk about us…
My mind was wandering. I brought my thoughts back to the situation at hand. How had that fight gone? I had let Holly drive me back away from both of them, only turning her once Derek made his move. I probably did everything wrong according to them.
“I didn’t want to move toward one of you and open up my back to the other, so I let you push me back,” I started.
“Let me?” Holly asked with a huff.
“Well, defended myself against you, because you moved first,” I answered defensively.
“But you did fight back,” Derek prompted.
“Yeah, once I was backed into a corner, Holly hesitated, so I knew you must be making your move. I used her hesitation to pin her hand that had the knife and spin her between us.”
It had been such a rush in the moment. A hundred moving parts at a terrifying speed. Trying to explain it afterwards made it sound simple.
Holly crossed her arms, seemingly unhappy with my answer, but Derek watched me closely. A thoughtful expression crossed his face.
“We have all been with this outfit for some time,” he said slowly. “Holly is the newest and even she has been working with us for almost a year. She is also the only one without a military background.”
I quickly glanced her way. She was staring daggers at Derek. I wondered if that was something he wasn’t supposed to share. It made sense though, right? I wasn’t military. Holly had explained the government had tried to recruit from the military but found more success when they broadened their search parameters for anyone compatible with the virus.
“But even she has seen real combat,” he continued. “It is hard to get over the idea of inflicting harm on another human, until it’s the only way to survive. Unless it’s you or them. Even then, not everyone reacts the same. You seem to be a bit withdrawn. You often get lost in your own head. I think you may just be a more defensively minded person.
“This isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” he mused, “but it could detract from your ability to carry out certain missions. I think it’s something we will have to keep a close eye on. Maybe you’ll develop a killer instinct once you see real combat, or maybe not. But for now? Try to think of this less like fighting and more like a sport. Just try to win. And winning in this sport is connecting with those strikes we went over yesterday.”
Derek’s speech helped, though I wouldn’t call it quite motivational. He basically said what Aaron had in a much nicer way. I might never develop into what they wanted. What they needed. But if they needed a killer, was that what I wanted to be?
I took a deep breath and concentrated on what he suggested. It was a game. If they moved like this, I should move like that. Simple. I forced myself to stop retreating and only step forward. I imagined I always had an invisible wall to my back. In turn, moving forward forced me to begin putting into practice, theoretically, all the strikes Derek had taught me. If Holly threw this punch or that kick, I had to block with this arm or raise that leg. Counter on the follow-through. The next hour felt much more productive. We worked all through the morning and into the early afternoon, only breaking for lunch.
“How’s he doing?” James came down to check on our progress that afternoon.
“Pretty good. He’s still picking everything up fairly quickly,” Derek replied.
“I think he’s ready,” Holly added.
“Ready for what?” I turned from one to the next trying to follow along.
“Michael’s been out getting intel,” James answered. “He may have found something actionable. It should be something simple. A little milk-run mission to get your feet wet. See what it is we do when we’re not playing cards and hitting each other with sticks down here.”
A mission? Something real? Did I need to sign a waiver or something? Was this even allowed? Then again, these guys seemed to play by their own rules. No retreating, only forward.
“If they think I’m ready.” I tried to put as much confidence in my voice as I could muster while gesturing to Derek and Holly.
Did they really think I was ready? Aaron’s words burned in the back of my mind.
“Let’s see what you’ve learned so far,” James responded.
Holly stepped forward, opposite me.
“No.” He waved her away. “Mia, Lily!” he called out.
“If Ryan here is to accompany us tomorrow, I want to know he’s ready,” James announced to our little group. “I need to know that he can not only watch out for himself, but also have someone else’s back as well.” He gestured for Derek to step back.
Holly turned and stood next to me, Mia and Lily opposite us. I hadn’t even gone full speed by myself yet and they wanted me—us—to spar them? I took a deep breath. I could do this. We could do this, I reminded myself. Besides, how good could they really be? I had all the physical advantages.
“Let’s see what all the fuss is about,” Lily taunted.
They moved toward us in unison.
My previous engagements with Holly and Derek had taught me fighting with more than one person was tricky. Combat was chaotic. With too many partners, it was akin to attempting a coordinated tango amidst a mosh pit.
I had just begun getting the hang of theoretically fighting one other person. I lined up and tried to keep my opponent in front of me, then used my physical speed and power to counter whatever they threw at me. Pretty straightforward.
Two on one was the only scenario I had any real practice against, and that had been with the wooden knives. Derek and Holly had tried to split my focus and attack from either side. My strategy had been to play defense until one of them made a mistake, then end the fight as quickly as possible. Though, my new “no retreat” strategy was at odds with this. Especially because I couldn’t just play defense and leave Holly to fend for herself.
I had never practiced with an ally. I needed to play this game around Holly. But we had no time to establish a plan of attack, and I had no strategy in place for this. I waited for Holly to make the first move so I could follow her lead. Unfortunately for us, Mia and Lily did not have this problem; they were completely in sync.
Mia stepped to her right, and Lily to her left, their footwork mirror images. They approached while widening the angle, splitting our focus. If we let them, they would force us together, making it harder to move. Holly prevented this by going on the offensive.
I watched out of the corner of my eye while she took two short steps and threw a quick jab at Mia. Lily took advantage of my inattention by opening with a sweeping kick. Holly would have to take care of herself.
I stepped smartly over the offending leg. Lily continued the spinning momentum, quickly rotating back around for a mid-level heel strike. I caught the impact of her foot in an open palm and pushed her off balance. The impact hadn’t hurt, but I could feel a warmth emanating from the point of contact.
I took advantage of her stumble with a flurry of jabs. Lily took the series of blows with a guarded arm and countered in perfect time when I drew back.
I barely stepped back in time to dodge her. We both reset.
Then the shadow-dance began.
A shadow of Lily stepped to my right, and she followed. Her shadow feinted another step and struck forward with a well-rehearsed series of blows. Lily followed it flawlessly. I dodged each one with minimal movement.
She stepped back for a moment to catch her breath, irritation in her eyes. I waited for her to continue her barrage, she obliged. I eluded every strike without contact. Her frustration grew, and her tight, perfect form grew sloppy. She left an opening after whiffing on another blow, and I gave her a tap on the side of the rib cage. A perfectly precise strike. Derek would be proud.
While I wanted to impress James and show him that I was ready, I also knew I had broken Logan’s ribs the first time we fought. I was much more careful now. My shots were calculated. Firm, but not hard. I practiced my precision, trying to hit exact points on each opening. I quickly had Lily retreating.
I felt a sharp pressure on my lower back. I stepped forward, momentarily off balance.
Lily had retreated, and Mia had turned Holly. Mia took the opportunity to give me a planted kick in the back. While the force hadn’t been much, I knew if they had weapons I would have been in much worse shape. They fought like a team, whereas Holly and I fought like two individuals. Though, Holly quickly came to my defense by taking advantage of Mia’s turned attention. She took Mia to the ground, but not before Mia had gotten her shot in.
I went on the offensive with renewed vigor. After a short bout of sparring, Lily attempted a counter strike. I caught her outstretched arm and levered myself inside her guard. She tried to defend by grappling and sweeping my legs. I anticipated this and used her own momentum against her, spinning her around and catching her in a headlock, just in time to see Holly tapping out against Mia.
The fight was a draw.
“Hell of a show!” Derek broke in with a loud clap
“Indeed.” James stroked his chin.
“I have no doubt you could take care of yourself,” he said to me. “The real question is if you are comfortable with having him watch your back?” He turned to Holly.
“No doubt,” she answered resolutely.
James raised his eyebrows but didn’t respond.
“This was, what? Two days of practice? Give him to me for another week and we’ll be unstoppable,” she said with a voracious smile.
“Sure. But this particular mission is Saturday,” he replied.
“You said it was going to be low risk,” she countered.
“She’s got you there!” Derek gave a short laugh at that.
“Fine. It’s settled. You are free to come with us if you think you are ready.” James turned to me.
I nodded slowly. I wouldn’t let Holly down.
“Last question then. What’s up with your eyes?” James asked.
“My eyes?” I looked from James to Holly.
“Not sure,” she responded, “but it’s how we’ve been able to tell if he’s really trying or not.”
“What about my eyes?” I asked again, this time directly at Holly.
“Wish everyone had such a convenient feature,” James replied, ignoring me. “Keep up the good work. Remember, Holly, you’re responsible for him!” he finished.
“Yes sir!” She gave him a short salute as he walked away.
I turned back to Holly, but Lily cut in.
“Good match,” she said with a smile.
I shook her proffered hand.
“If it makes you feel better, I’d trust no one to get by you if you had my back,” Mia said more seriously.
That did make me feel better.
“Feel free to hit us up anytime for a rematch; we’ve been trying to get Holly to spar with us for some time.” Lily winked at her.
Holly blushed in return.
They both headed back to other side of the sparring mats to continue training. I had so many questions.
“Do you really think I’m ready?”
“Like James said, it should be a really easy mission. Mostly reconnaissance. And we haven’t had anything in a while. So we already have more people going than we really need. Everyone’s excited to stretch their legs a little. I’ll stick back with you,” she answered.
“What if something goes wrong? What if they need you?” I wondered.
“It won’t. Besides, I think you’ve just shown you can handle yourself,” she answered.
“Ok,” I paused, “but only on one condition.”
“What?” she asked hesitantly.
“What’s up with my eyes?” I asked accusingly.
“Oh that.” She let out a short laugh. “They glow.”
“What do you mean they glow?”
“Well, I kind of noticed it the first night we were together, when dancing. Then for sure later.” She winked.
“I had a theory, but then they did it again when you sparred with Logan and once more when Derek and I both fought you. I suppose they did this time too, hence James wondering,” she finished.
“Uh huh.” I had a feeling I knew exactly what it was correlated with, just no explanation for why.
“Can you not see it?” she asked.
“See my own eyes? No,” I answered.
“The room doesn’t look brighter, or anything?” she inquired.
“No.”
It had to be related to the seeing shadows thing. The only problem was, I thought I had been hiding this ability from everyone. Apparently they had been able to see when I was doing it anyway, whatever “it” was. Now I really had no good way of explaining it to her without admitting I’d been hiding it all along.
“Looks the same to me,” I lied.
“Oh.” She sounded almost disappointed.
I pondered this revelation. I had thought I had a secret ability, but it wasn’t so secret. I’d have to file that away for later.
“So, Mia and Lily want to spar with you?” I changed the subject.
“Hmm? What? Sure… You know, we’re all always trying to get better,” she said dismissively.
“That’s not what it sounded like to me!”
“Are you two done?” Derek was watching us with his arms folded across his massive chest.
We both nodded in unison, eager to continue working and let the current subjects drop for now.
I tackled my training with renewed vigor. While treating it like a game helped, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about how, in a few days, it would all be much more serious. Derek and Holly helped me go over different scenarios for dealing with two opponents at once, or even having a friend and only one foe.
Before dinner, Holly took me back to the shooting range at the back of the cavern. I spent the next two hours putting hundreds of rounds into the closest two targets. She let me try out every pistol they had until I found one I liked best. It was made by a Belgian company, and fired a smaller round than the pistols I had tried previously.
“It’s ok to use a smaller caliber,” she explained, “because the most important part of shooting is hitting what you are aiming for. People get too caught up in the size of rounds and their stopping power, like it’s some sort of dick-measuring contest. If you hit something important, the size of your gun doesn’t matter. Besides, you’ll be using armor-piercing rounds anyway.”
I took comfort in that, since this pistol, this five-seven, was the only thing I could use to her satisfaction.
We joined everyone else for dinner. Even Aaron was there, which meant that, the front desk stood empty. They all talked and joked as if it were any other night. Though I sat next to them, I felt like a stranger, not unlike when I let Tom pressure me into too many of his cocktails. I would end up on the couch at the party zoned out to everyone around me. Only it was much worse here. It felt like someone had invited me to their family’s holiday dinner but neglected to tell me they all spoke Spanish. There was a buzz of excitement in the air, but I wasn’t a part of it. I found that even my insatiable appetite was absent.
I volunteered to do the dishes, because retreating to my room felt like the wrong move. They filed out a few at a time until only Holly was left.
“Not as hungry today?” she asked while handing me another plate.
“Guess not,” I admitted nervously.
She rubbed my shoulders for a minute before wrapping her arms around me.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of you,” she stated matter-of-factly.
I couldn’t help the short, hysterical laugh that burst forth.
“What?” She took an offended step back. “Don’t think that just because you are bigger, faster, stronger, whatever… that I can’t be the one to have your back? Partnerships are a two-way street.”
“Is that what we are? Partners?” I asked.
Holly stepped forward to lean against the counter. She waited until I turned to meet her gaze. I lost myself, falling upward through a vast blue sea. Gravity seemed to lose its hold on me. I felt like I was surging toward the surface of the ocean. I stumbled into her and gasped for breath.
“We can be whatever you want,” she whispered fiercely as she caught me.
Her lips stole what little air I’d managed to capture. We barely made it upstairs, the dishes long forgotten.
Much later I returned to my room alone. After a cold shower, I called my family again. We went through the same routine as before. I explained that there were a few more tests they wanted to conduct and that they wouldn’t get the results until after the weekend. I would return home on Monday with more concrete news for them. My family was growing more hopeful by the day. I could hear it in their voices. It made me smile; their hope was not misplaced. I would return with the good news they so earnestly prayed for.
We said our goodbyes, and I lay in bed restlessly.
I couldn’t get my heartrate to lower. Holly had that effect on me. I listened to it pounding in my chest. I was also nervous about the idea of going on a real mission. I had no idea what it would bring. Army-crawling through a muddy field? Well it was too cold for that around here. Somewhere urban then? Images from the news and video games flashed through my mind. Men in uniform breaching doorways and fighting through long, dark hallways. None of it seemed to fit.
Despite everyone’s encouragement, I still couldn’t get Aaron’s words out of my head. Though he was wrong about at least one thing: life wasn’t being handed to me. This training was taking every ounce of my concentration, all of my physical and mental abilities. Sure, I picked things up faster than the average person, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t working for it.
My own success or failure would be the result of my own hard work, or lack thereof. You could hand someone all the best painting tools in the world, but that didn’t mean they would become an expert painter.
This experience had also encouraged me about life in general. I wouldn’t instantly be the best at whatever I tried, and subsequently bored by it. Maybe community college came easy because it was easy. Many people in high school did far better than me. They would have found community college just as easy as I did now. I hadn’t found a purpose to my life, because I hadn’t looked beyond my tiny worldview. I was still stuck in a small-town mindset.
As Tom would say: I hadn’t truly lived.