“What!” Daelen demanded.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but Cat persisted.
“I was only partially honest with the others about my reasons for choosing to have you with me. You see, if I unleash this power and things go wrong, I do not know what will happen. If I'm lucky, the power will simply kill me.”
“And if you're unlucky?” Daelen asked, not liking this one bit.
“Let's just say there are many things worse than death. Forms of existence that would make me jealous of how good Dreya's undead guards have it. If that happens, I don't know what powers I might possess. Dreya’s guards have been commanded to kill me if things go wrong, but they may not be able to do so alone. What I'm saying is, if I do this and things go wrong, and I still live…if you love me…you must kill me. You may be the only one with the power to do it. Stop at nothing if it comes down to it; hit me with everything you've got and destroy whatever body I have left.
“Swear you will do it, Daelen, or I will be forced to change my mind and have Dreya in here instead – she would agree to it, but I'm afraid I might kill her. Please, Daelen, you must swear, because if things go wrong and I live…well, if it’s any consolation, it won’t be me you’re killing. It will be something else, and if that were released…” she trailed off before concluding, “it would be far better if Kullos were to win.”
She softened and tried to reassure the shadow warrior with a smile. “Look, it's just a precaution. This whole scenario is one big precaution. Nothing's going to go wrong. If I weren't as certain as I could possibly be, I wouldn't attempt this. It's just that I can never be completely sure until I've done it, so I need to make sure I’ve covered every angle.”
Daelen let out a long, slow breath before finally answering, “Alright, I swear. If it comes down to it, I would rather kill you than let some vile creature take control of some twisted form of your body. As long as you’re absolutely certain that this is really necessary.”
“It's vital. The letter under your training centre told me so and I trust the messenger. From what information I already have, I get the impression that all this has happened before, somehow. But I didn’t have this book. Not yet. Not until it was too late. There’s more at work here than just the fight against Kullos. That’s one part of something bigger. I don’t really understand what that means, yet, but hopefully, the book will tell me more. Now, if there are no further questions, I'll ask for silence, and I'll begin.”
Daelen nodded. He remembered his lover, Rose, long ago, telling him that among the Faery, trade was based on giving freely, in the name of love, that which was precious. If his unyielding support was what Catriona needed from him, then he would give it freely, in the name of love. No question.
*****
They settled down, Catriona calmed her nerves, and taking a deep breath, she began to work her way through the security of the book.
It took all of Daelen's self-control to avoid moving to defend the mortal woman he loved, as he felt the incredible power rush from the book. A power that made him feel suddenly very small. For the first time in centuries, he was forced to concede that there might be forces in the mortal plane beyond his own power. Against this power, he felt, his beam cannon would look like nothing more threatening than a torchlight. The thought of Catriona sitting in the centre of such power brought him no comfort, but he knew it was essential that he let Cat deal with it herself. If he did something wrong, he could kill her or worse. On the plus side, the inner strength Catriona must possess to do this was a wonder to behold, and the look of intense concentration on her face, he found, made her all the more attractive.
Over the next few hours, Daelen and the others saw, heard and felt powerful magic that was both wondrous and terrifying. Monsters appeared to try and devour the vulnerable-looking druidess. Beam cannon-like energy blasts fired into, through and out of her body. There were explosions; aurorae flew around within the circle, crackling with power. Handsome men and seductive women stepped out of the book, trying to persuade Catriona to give up this magic and do something more pleasurable. Even the tiniest wavering, the briefest loss of concentration would be fatal, but these outside distractions were nothing compared to the things that entered Catriona's mind and soul.
Powerful, insidious magic tried to convince her that it was all useless…hopeless. Death would require less effort. Why not give in and end the painful struggle? She was infected with convincing illusions of poison and disease, trying to make her waste energy trying to heal herself instead of breaking down the magic itself. Sometimes, she was almost lulled to sleep before catching herself and fighting back. The book knew her Balanced alignment and tempted her with promises of gifts from each of the three angles: Perhaps a quiet, peaceful place in the Light, surrounded forever by the beauty of nature and all that is pure and good – no pain and no death. She could choose the Darkness and gain the power to reshape Creation according to her own design, or summon and command the Keeper of the Underworld. How about immortality here in this world? Think of the knowledge that she could gain! She could share these gifts, too. They need not be hers alone.
All these things and more challenged her concentration as she tried to visualise the magical keys that she had committed to memory and fit them into the locks. The task seemed endless, like peeling an onion – remove one layer, and all you find is another layer.
“I can't remember,” she thought suddenly. Had she said that out loud? She wasn’t sure. “The last key…it's gone…what was it? I can't hold the defences back much longer…what am I going to do? I'm going to die…gods help me…I'm lost!”
One of the voices in her head grew louder; assailing her with magic unlike anything she had faced before. Magic not of wizard, druid or cleric, not of Light, Balance or Darkness, not of order but of chaos. Magic with its own rules, operating in a way that was anathema to all Creation. A power known only as IT.
‘You are nothing’, IT whispered, ‘nothing. You don’t exist; you’re just an illusion. Remember the last time you ended your Mirror Image spell…? You got it wrong…destroyed the real you instead of the copy…You are the copy…just a copy…illusion…nothing.’
Cat gasped in horror at the idea. Could it be true, she wondered? When she thought she’d cancelled her copy, did she get it wrong? She couldn’t remember! How could she be sure? Maybe she destroyed the real Catriona. If so, then she was just an illusion, a facsimile of life! But Cat wanted to exist. She wanted to live so badly.
‘And you can exist’, IT soothed. ‘You can! IT has the power to make you real. All you have to do is say the words…you are nothing…Tell IT!’ IT commanded.
Cat felt a wave of relief and gratitude wash over her. Was that really all IT needed her to do? Just say those words? That was so easy. “I—” she began, but something was holding her back. She couldn’t imagine what it was.
IT almost had her…she was weakening. In moments, IT would feel her sweet life draining away. ‘You will never be real until you accept that you are nothing.’
“I—I am—”
IT hated life. Life was the ultimate triumph of Creation and order and structure. Life was an aberration, an abomination. Life was wrong. This one was the worst of the lot, doing something especially abhorrent and she didn’t even know it. But she was also ITs way in. All she had to do was say she was nothing, believe the ultimate contradiction. If IT could get her to admit she didn't really exist, deny her own reality, her life would become a gateway for IT. IT had other plans in motion, but in moments, they would be unnecessary.
“I—I am n—”
So close, just one more little push would do it. Soon IT would drain her…but not utterly – that would destroy ITs gateway. No, IT would not grant her death, but a new cursed half-life that would last forever. Hers would be a new soul for IT to enjoy tormenting in its chaotic realm; a spirit for IT to torture for eternity…but not before she had killed all her friends and ripped apart their souls.
Oh yes, she would do all that at IT's command; beg to do it, in fact. She would do anything to please IT and she, too, would take pleasure in the act. She would lose all control of her new chaotic form as she gave this world to IT. From this world, through her, IT could consume everything, the whole of Creation. All would belong to IT.
IT would leave her with just a small pool of her former conscience. That would add to her torture, as she watched herself smile while the people she cared about died slowly at her touch. Rending their souls would bring her exquisite delight and her conscience would be forced to witness it all. She would laugh in joy and exhilaration as every world, every plane of reality ceased to be. That would be the last feeling of pleasure she would ever experience. After that, for eternity, IT would make sure that she was the only semblance of life that remained in existence, and all she would know was pain…pain far beyond anything mortals could ever experience. Moreover, her conscience would forever tell her she deserved her fate for unleashing IT upon the cosmos and bringing a final end to life.
‘Don’t you want to be real? You can wish yourself into existence, IT can make you real. Just say that you are nothing. Believe you are nothing. Why do you hesitate?’
Yes, why was she hesitating? Cat couldn’t understand why she hadn’t said it already. Why couldn’t she think? In fact, wasn’t that proof? She remembered how much the real Catriona liked to think, to learn, to understand. If she couldn’t do that, wasn’t that proof that she wasn’t the real Cat?
‘Say the words, my little broken doll! You will know no release until you do. Speak them and believe,’ IT encouraged her. ‘Tell IT what you know in your soul to be true. You are nothing, little girl, nothing.’
“I—I am not—” Cat began, then something stuck in her throat, and she coughed. She swallowed, took a deep breath and prepared to accept the truth: she was nothing. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she realised how obvious it was. She was nothing. She couldn’t imagine how she ever could have believed otherwise.
So why was it so damned hard to say?
IT knew IT had won; in mere seconds, the next time she spoke, she would deny her existence and she would belong to IT. In a moment, Catriona would be like IT and IT would be unleashed upon Creation. Then the feast would begin. Those undead guards would not prevent IT. They had been instructed to kill any ‘living being’ that crossed the line, but IT was not alive in any sense they would recognise. Those other fleshy things outside the circle concerned IT not at all. Even this shadow warrior thing, powerful though he was, by mortal standards, would fall before IT. IT just needed the power of Catriona’s belief to bridge the gap to this world from ITs strange realm.
Just as Catriona opened her mouth for what would surely be the last time, faces flashed across her mind: Sara, Jessica, Daelen, Dreya, Mandalee, Shyleen, Jacob, childhood friends, Pyrah, her father, and her mother. The last face filled her mind. The mother who, at least in her mind, fought for her daughter’s life right up until the end.
That tiny part of Catriona that was still fighting suddenly knew the final key. It was the greatest magic, the ultimate power in the universe…Love.
Romantic, family, friendship, even just the concept of the ultimate value of people, of life itself – they were all aspects of the same thing: Love. With the last of her strength, she took all the love from those around her, added it to her love for them and directed every last drop into the book. It wasn’t enough to simply say the word in her mind. Love was much more than a word. It was a concept, an idea. Calling on her years of experience with sympathic communication, she projected everything that love was, into the Nameless Book.
IT roared, ‘No! You are too late! You belong to IT now. You are nothing, little girl! Nothing!’
Forcing out the words, she screamed, “I…am…not…a little girl! I am Catriona Redfletching, and by the power of love, I defy you, for while people have love, we can never be nothing. In the name of love and of life, I claim the right of access to this Book and all that it contains!”
But even as she spoke the words, she knew it wasn’t that simple. Now that the book was open, the fortifications were gone. IT might not be free of ITs prison, but IT was out of ITs cell, and there was no putting IT back because all the locks were broken. She had smashed them – that made IT her responsibility, but she couldn't stand guard forever. She needed somewhere to safely lock IT away again. But where?
Then she remembered her trip to Earth. All that technology. All those devices. Those mobile phone things that Sara and Jessica had. A single tool that could contain so much power, and all those different…what were they called again? Apps. Applications. One device, many functions. And because they could do so much, they had to be protected by security. A powerful, secure, multi-functional tool. It was a concept that hadn’t really appeared on Tempestria yet…or had it?
It came to her in a flash. She had such a thing: something that could store different forms of power and keep it secure. It was her most precious possession, the gift of an Angel. Entrusted to her. She called it her Crystal Mage Staff, but it was much more than that. Just as the people of Earth called those devices ‘phones’ when they were clearly so much more. She looked again at the security on the staff, and while they were indeed the same keys as the book, they were designed to be re-lockable, where the book had been intended to be a one-time-only release. And her staff could store so much more than it already contained. Even giving the power within it room to grow, there was plenty of storage space for a second partition. Just as Daelen had created the Tower of Dreams in his temple on the edge of the Elvarian Peninsula, to keep Michael safe, in a separate partition to the Wishing Well. She could do the same with her staff.
Concentrating as never before, she created a dimensional conduit between book and staff – like her pocket dimension, except it opened at both ends. Then she forced the essence of IT into the staff and locked IT away with all the security that had been present on the Day of the Angel.
If ever she wanted to unlock the original power of the staff, she could do so with just the final key: love. But even if she did, IT would remain trapped in this separate partition. Perhaps one day she, or someone who came after her, would find a way to safely dispose of IT. Until then, in her staff is where IT would remain.
At last, the Book’s final security lock fell away, and there was a brilliant white light as the circle exploded.
*****
When Daelen came around, he saw Dreya arguing with one of the ghouls.
“Stand aside and let me in!” she demanded. “I am your Mistress, and you will obey.”
“I am sorry, Mistress,” the ghoul whispered, “but I cannot comply. Your instructions were specific: no living being may enter, and if you do not step back, I will be forced to kill you.”
Its eyes glowed menacingly, and Dreya was forced to take a prudent step backwards. By the look on her face, she was preparing to use magic to fight her own guards to gain entry. Mandalee was ready, weapons in hand, primed to fight at her side, while Shyleen growled threateningly.
Daelen took a moment to bathe in the wonder of that: a Dark sorceress and a cleric of Light, side-by-side, united by their love for one truly remarkable individual. Of course, he could add a leopard god and a shadow warrior from the higher planes to that list and even a pair of Chetsuans from Phitonia, had they been there. Michael, Champion of the Gods, had taken a shine to her, too. Cat had a way of bonding such diverse people to her, just by being herself. He knew Catriona didn’t see herself as particularly remarkable or extraordinary. To her, she was just a simple half-Faery druid girl. But everyone else around her knew she was so much more.
Daelen shook his head, to clear it of distractions.
“It's OK!” he called out. “It's over. Guards, you may step down now and allow free access in and out of the circle.”
The undead guards bowed their compliance and moved away. Mandalee rushed to Catriona's side and declared, “She's fine, just exhausted. Don’t disturb her, don’t even try to move her. Let her sleep.”
There was no question of taking turns to keep watch. One shadow warrior, one Faery sorceress, one human assassin and one leopard god – they would all guard her together. Nothing and no-one was getting at Catriona tonight, without going through each and every one of them.