Beauty surrounds us, but usually
we need to be walking in a garden to know it.
Rumi
G woke, as if from a dream, and found himself lying on the grass in a park. A woman was feeding ducks. No, she wasn’t human. She was female, a Diathim. She looked over to him, smiled, and fluttered her wings as she returned to his side. He knew her intimately. Her name was Ashia, and he considered her a goddess, a Jedi of untold strength and power. She knelt next to him, then sat, and placed her hand on his heart. “You’re awake.”
“I had the strangest dream,” G admitted. He found a thermos within reach and took it up. He poured himself a drink, but offered it to her. She took it, sipped, and then held the cup as he drank from it. He was so mesmerized by her beauty he was not sure he tasted anything. She held the cup, but lowered it. The contents seemed to be glowing. “It felt like a past life. You were there, but your name was Miru Nadrinakar, and my name was Antron Bach. I looked up the names. These people existed, which makes it kind of weirder.”
“I think you may be getting your stories mixed up,” Ashia said.
“Maybe,” G said. “I feeling rather confused. Just being here now feels kind of weird.”
“Not too weird, I hope,” Ashia said, putting the cup down. She touched his forehead.
“The game of wars has been going on for a long time. We keep going back because we like the game. But you’re remembering it wrong. You were Miru and I was Antron.”
“You’re saying I was your girl?” G said.
“Yeah. And I don’t recall us being intimate in that lifetime,” Ashia said.
“How is that possible? I can’t imagine not loving you, regardless of life time,” G said.
“Oh, we have always loved each other, just not always been intimate,” Ashia said.
“You have other examples?” G asked.
“Yeah. A present one, even,” Ashia said.
“Really,” G asked, searching the people in his present constellation, testing the orbits, looking for the greatest attractor. “You’re Corissa!”
“The Force serves you well. I was, I am, I will be… You will find, from this side of the Force, temporal contexts are not always linear.”
“Why then are we having so much trouble relating?” G asked. “It’s necessary for our growth,” Ashia said.
“Then why would you choose to be with me in this form?” G asked. “I felt you had need of me, so I came,” Ashia said.
“I don’t understand,” G said.
“In order to see, you must have light, and a medium to express it, darkness. Light touches everything, more than once, and by the time you finally catch it, that one photon has been intimate with the entire universe, with all of time. You are a being of light. Go and shine, be intimate with everything in joyous love, and when I catch you again, I can see everything you touched. You paint my heart with joy,” Ashia said, and touched his forehead, her finger pushing through and lighting up his brain.
G woke and came off the table and then realized where he was. In a cell. He looked up at the camera and smiled. “I am awake now. Can we get this over with?”
The door slid open and a man in a white coat entered. A table and chairs emerged from the wall.
“Have a seat, Mr…” He read his tablet. “Waycaster.”
G sat on the bench that had emerged from the wall. The man in the white coat sat opposite of him, putting the tablet between them. A keyboard unfolded from the device.
“So, how well are you sleeping?” the man asked. “Okay,” G said. “What’s your name?”
“I am Doctor Inso,” he said, typing G’s responses. “How’s your appetite been?”
“Are you performing a mental health assessment on me?” G asked.
“This will go much faster if you just answer the questions, please,” Inso instructed. “How’s your appetite?”
“Fine,” G said.
“Do you want to kill yourself?” he asked. “No,” G said.
“Have you ever attempted suicide?” Inso asked. “I don’t understand the question,” G said.
“It’s a very simple question, Mr. Waycaster,” Inso said.
“I am one with the Force,” G said. “There is no death, but all deaths on the physical plane are by definition, suicides.”
“Excuse me?” Inso said.
“You know what a placebo is?” G asked.
“Of course,” Inso said, seemingly insulted.
“Then you’re aware that the power of the unconscious mind determines whether we worsen or heal, whether we meet our destiny or not,” G said. “There are no accidental deaths or death by illness. It is all choice.”
“Hyper religiosity, expressions of grandeur, narcissism, and possible delusions,” Inso said, typing away on his keyboard.
“I am a Jedi,” G said.
“Definitely delusional,” Inso said. “Mr. Waycaster. Do you ever hear things or see things that other people don’t hear or see?”
“All the time,” G said. “Please elaborate,” Inso said.
“I would prefer not to,” G said.
“Uncooperative, and possible paranoia,” Inso said. “Mr. Waycaster, do you hear voices telling you to harm yourself or others?”
“Yes,” G sighed.
“Could you provide me an example?” Inso asked.
G looked up at the camera. “How long are you going to permit this farce to continue?”
“Mr. Waycaster, I am in charge in here and I would like you to stay focus and answer the questions, please,” Inso said.
“You do know your colleagues are fucking with you, right?” G asked. “My job is to complete this assessment,” Inso said.
“I am a Jedi. I hear things and see things other folks don’t hear or see. That does not mean I am crazy,” G said.
“Sir, try to stay calm,” Inso said.
G tilted his head. “I am calm. Do you hear me raising my voice? Did you do this test on my mother, Alarna?”
“Of course. I let her go,” Inso said.
“Are you fucking insane?! She’s a Sith Lord and she tried to kill me!” G said.
“Both of you are being charged with public display of domestic violence and resisting arrest and causing bodily harm to officers,” Inso said. “But we have to do a mental health assessment before pre-trial release, mostly to determine if you’re going harm yourself or someone else, and to determine if you’re a flight risk.”
“You didn’t think Alarna was a flight risk?” G asked.
“That sweet old woman who couldn’t hurt a flower a flight risk?” Inso asked.
“Oh, you poor, weak minded fool,” G said. He looked at the camera. “I do hope that someone else is in charge up there. You guys fucked up big time.”
“Sir! Focus,” Inso said, snapping his finger at him. “I need you to provide me an example of what the voices telling you.”
“Well, on one side of me, I hear Vader saying I should choke you for your insolence, and on the other side of me, Windu…”
“Is telling you to not listen to your dark side?” Inso asked, typing on his tablets’ keyboard as fast as he could.
“No, he’s saying I should pretty much choke you, too,” G said.
“Did you escort her out?”
“No, she just wanted to see my office,” Inso said.
“We’re not talking about your mother, we’re talking about you.”
“Did you sleep with my mother?” G asked.
“We’re not talking about your mother,” Inso said.
“You did sleep with my mother!” G said. He looked at the camera.
“You guys better not be taking turns with my Droid up there.”
Inso snapped his fingers at him for the last time. G put him in a choke hold. He apologized while taking the man’s badge. The badge didn’t open the door. He closed his eyes, ran his hand along the door, pushed, and the door opened with the Force. He stepped out into corridor, released Inso from the choke hold, closed the door, locked and proceeded down the corridor. He found two guards unconscious. Even as he was coming into the room, a dozen guards were coming down the other hall. He found himself surrounded again.
“I know this looks really bad, but, um,” G said.
He grimaced as they opened fire. And he experienced another awakening. He found himself in nicer room, on a hospital bed, Freya was there, so was Captain Mons, as well as President Jayers Hidalgo, his aid, and several security officers. Hidalgo was cussing at Captain Mons, berating him for his incompetence.
“Oh, Master Waycaster!” Hidalgo said.
“I am so sorry for this huge misunderstanding.”
“It really wasn’t a misunderstanding,” Mons said.
“We don’t allow citizens, Jedi or not, to kill each other.”
“I saw the video, it was self-defense,” Hidalgo said.
“They were creating a disturbance,” Mons said. “You passed the laws that made it illegal for Jedi to use lightsabers in public.”
Hidalgo laughed nervously. He looked to G apologetically. “I did do that. I was not aware that the Jedi would legitimately return, and you know, sometimes people try to use outdated laws to their favor,” the President said.
“It’s okay,” G said, sitting up. “What happened to my mother?”
“She got her lightsaber and was about to come and get you, but I guess she decided she didn’t have time,” Mons said.
“Just great,” G said.
“I assure you,” Mons said. “If she is on this planet, we will catch her.”
G thought about it, closed his eyes, and searched.
“She is not,” he said, with some confident. And then he sighed.
“Ah, damn it!”
“What?” Hidalgo said.
“She took the Dragon’s Tooth!” G said, rubbing his head.
“I thought you fixed it so it couldn’t be stolen,” Freya said.
“She’s a Jedi,” G said.
“She found the kill switches. Oh, poor Red. I hope she doesn’t toss him.”
“Who’s Red?” Mons asked.
“My astromechs droid,” G said.
“I could get you another one,” Hidalgo said.
“I don’t want another one. I want Red,” G whined.
“What a day this has become.”
“Well, I am glad you’re here,” Hidalgo said.
“I insist you stay with me tonight at my home, dinner with my family, and then, we can have a private conversation about a personal business opportunity that I think you might be interested in.”
“We were looking for connections,” Freya reminded him. “And, by your own definition, the randomness of this situation does seem to be Force inspired.”
“It does,” G said. “Maybe we should try formulating some plans next time.”
“And break with your tradition?” Freya asked.
“I am great with planning,” Hidalgo said.
Mons handed G his lightsaber. “No hard feelings?”
“We’re good,” G assured him.
“Even though you’ll never walk again?” Mons asked.
G experienced another awakening. He awoke to find himself on a medical procedure bed. Doctor Inso was present, two nurses, and a medical Droid whose main purpose was to act as an intelligent defibrillator. Inso, the nurses, and almost anything in the room that was not secured to something was floating. Freya touched his arm.
“Wake up, G, they’re trying to help you,” Freya said.
“You’re in a hospital.”
G blinked, caught up to where he was, realized he was channeling the Force, and eased the people back to the floor. Inso recovered his wits first.
“Thank you,” Inso said.
“I am sorry,” G said. “I don’t understand what happened.”
“You were stunned,” Inso said.
“Initially, they brought you to medical because you experienced encopresis. Shortly after clean up, the nurse noticed you were experiencing a non- perfusing ventricular tachycardia….”
“I pooped my pants?” G asked.
“The doctor is telling you about a cardiac event, and you’re worried you soiled your pants?” Freya asked.
“Well, yeah,” G said, hoping he was still dreaming. He felt exhausted, but he was pretty sure this was real. Then again, he thought the last several wakening were real.
“You were shouting that your mother is trying to kill you,” Nurse Leda said.
“Were you experiencing a nightmare?” Inso asked.
“Is this part of a mental health assessment?” G asked.
“I am not that kind of Doctor,” Inso said. “I am really confused,” G admitted.
“Encopresis, tachycardia, and night terrors are very common experiences for people who have been stunned,” Inso said. “I think for you, your situation was compounded by malnourishment and the use of psychedelics.”
“I don’t use psychedelics,” G said. “Remember our last planet?” Freya asked.
“Oh, the Collector,” G said. “I had an accidental, hyper-exposure to reproductive material from an Anura.”
“You were eating frogs?” Nurse Pari asked.
G considered the semantics and wondered if she meant what he was thinking she meant. Either way, ‘no’ seemed like a safe response. “No, I was in conference with an Anura, who was feeling amorous,” G said. “It was all very innocent. Mostly.”
He didn’t know how to read the stares he was getting.
“Well, we’re not judging,” Inso said. “I ama Doctor. I have seen a lot of crazy things in my day. I do have some concerns, though. Especially about your weight. Have you gone without food by choice, or due to situational lack?”
“I have been engaging in a restricted caloric intake,” G admitted.
“You are not the first to show concern. I have decided to eat better, it’s just take a moment to catch back up.”
“You should take better care of yourself,” Leda said. “Who is your primary care physician?”
“I have a FixIt droid,” G said.
“But you can afford a real Doctor,” Inso said. “I prefer Droids,” I said.
“That’s apparent,” Pari said, doing a sideways glance at Freya. G became aware that she had been stealing secret glances at the Droid whenever a decline in duties permitted.
“Okay, well, you’re stabilized. Before you leave, I want Leda to give you a vitamin B complex shot,” Inso said. “Once you get your weight up, I highly recommend you have some Vaccinations if you’re going to stay on Axxila. Other than that, you’re free to get dressed and leave. There are some friends waiting to speak to you if you’re up to it.”
“Okay,” G said, going right for the clothes without concern about modesty.
The defibrillator droid asked if he would be needed further, and Inso dismissed him. Inso and Pari followed the Droid out of the room.
“Let me jab you with this first,” Leda said, having him lay back down on his side so she could inject him with the vitamin B. She wiped the area, indicating she was going for the hollow space on the side of the pelvis.
“Don’t you want put that in the buttocks?” G asked.
“This is better,” Leda said, inserting the needle.
G grabbed the bedrail. “Okay,” G said breathlessly.
“For a Jedi, you sure are a big baby,” Leda said.
“This seems like the opportune moment to inform you…” Freya began.
“Mother escaped,” G finished her sentence.
“How did you know?” Freya asked.
“All done,” Leda said, massaging the area.
“Anything else I can do for you?”
“That’ll be it, thank you,” G said, sitting up and going for clothes. As Leda was about to leave, G caught her attention. “Um, Leda. I hope I didn’t hurt you or your colleagues.”
Leda closed the door, remaining on the inside. “G, we’re not supposed to hit on patients, but clearly between Droids and frog people, you are a bit kinky, which I think is a huge turn on, because you’d be willing to explore sensuality and most men are just so vanilla, and just off the record, that levitation trick was off the wall erotic, but what I am saying is, you can lift me anytime you want.” She stepped closer to Freya and whispered her number in her ear. “So, if you’re going to be on Axxila a while, call me.”
G looked to Freya. “I think you should reassess my skill level on hooking up,” G said.
“Using the Force clearly changes the equation,” Freya said.
G dressed in simple trousers and a pull over shirt, socks and printed shoe to his specs, but clearly he was dressed in recyclable hospital clothes. On exiting the room, he found multiple guards, several law enforcement officers. Captain Mons, accompanied by President Hidalgo, immediately approached.
“Captain Mons, we’re good. Don’t worry about it. I am aware my mother escaped. Don’t worry, she is off planet. I would like to report my ship being stolen, and the only one capable of doing it is mother. Technically, it’s her ship. I probably can’t report it stolen, but I paid cash for the Droid she has in her possession, so that’s stolen. Sorry, I talking too much. It’s nice to finally meet you in person, President Hidalgo. You don’t have to thank me for curing your niece, really, that was the Force, not me. And yes, I accept your invitation to have dinner with you and your family tonight, and I would be okay staying the night, if it isn’t an inconvenience.” Mons and Hidalgo mouth were open. “Oh, and Mons, may I have my lightsaber back. And the utility belt. There are some diamonds in one of the pouches that I am honor bound to carry with me, and would likely result in extremely bad luck to anyone who took any. Of course, that could just be speculative superstition on my part, as I have not tested that, but you could tell that to the guy that impounded it, and don’t punish him, if he wants one, tell him I will make him one. I am finding myself quite famished. Would it be okay if I hasten us towards dinner?”
Hidalgo nodded and motioned for G and Freya to follow him. “Captain Mons, would you contact Cohn’s and be prepared to reinforce security at the Presidential Estate.”
“Oh, I don’t think she’ll back soon,” G said.
“Well, Son, you never know with Sith Lords, and there was that whole fiasco with the Bloodhunters not too long ago,” Hidalgo said. “Add in your celebrity status, and the fact that you’re a Jedi, and well, quite frankly, I am surprised you were allowed back on the planet.”
“Jedi aren’t welcomed?” G asked.
“Trouble follows Jedi like smoke follows flames,” Mons said.
“I am not really that kind of Jedi,” G said.
“So, how do explain a random hook up with your mother at a hookah lounge?” Mons asked.
Freya laughed her laugh. “Hook up hookah. What a great name for a club,” Freya said.