“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” Rumi
It felt like a dream. No, it felt more like De-Ja-Vu. On her desk was one pyramid shaped holocron and one polyhedron shaped holocron. She held a device that projected a hardback edition of a book, in holograph form, with a projected tactile overlay that made turning the book feel like turning real pages. She was trying to commit passages to memory:
“People want you to be happy. Don't keep serving them your pain! If you could untie your wings and free your soul of jealousy, you and everyone around you would fly up like doves.” She couldn’t translate the author’s name. When she looked back at the text to confirm that she had got it right, it had changed: “You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness. You were born with wings. You are not meant for crawling, so don't. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly.”
“What are you reading?” G asked.
“I don’t know,” Ten said.
“Then why are you reading it?” G asked.
“I thought you wanted me to,” Ten said.
“If you could pick what you want to read, which one would you have chosen?”
“The Princess, the Bride, and the Brother,” Ten said.
“But you didn’t chose that because,” G said.
“I thought you would consider it teenage fluff,” Ten said.
“Does it matter what I think?” G asked.
“Yes,” Ten said.
“Then know this: I think you should start with what you like, as you read make predictions, look for patterns, and be prepared to discuss the merits of the story, discuss the pros and cons…” G began.
“But the stories I like are about kings and queens, princes and princesses,” Ten said. “They’re not real people. I doubt it would be helpful.”
“So, you want to read it, but don’t want to read it, and I am your excuse for not indulging…”
“Maybe,” Ten said, thinking about it. “I don’t know. Why are these so many stories about princesses and warriors?”
“They’re archetypes. The hero comes in many guises. There are many paths. We are all kings and queens, and simultaneously, we’re all peasants and beggars. Others will play supporting roles, and we will play supporting roles for others. This is the agreement. This is why we’re here.”
“Why are we here?”
“Imagine you had the power to do anything you want, to possess anything you want. Imagine every thought you have instantaneously results in action or manifestation,” G said. “What do you think you could learn?”
“I think I would become bored,” Ten said.
“And what if everyone had this ability?” G asked.
“I think it would be chaos,” Ten said.
“And that is why we are here. You will always learn more from your failures than your wins. We are here to learn to play well with each other, in an environment where the happenings of our thoughts are not instantaneous. We are to learn to be with our thoughts, are emotions.
Remember when you wished yourself dead, if there wasn’t a delay, if there wasn’t a buffer built into this system, this one stray thought would have ended the game before you had learned what you came here to learn,” G said. “The thought itself is not bad, but you are a Jedi and you cannot die. And in the darkness between the planes, you can be overwhelmed by your fears, summoning creatures into being and sustaining them with your own powers of creation. You are here because this is the best environment to learn to be with your thoughts and your powers. The Force creates life. We are one with the Force. We co-create life, on many more levels than simple procreation. You can call a thought form into being and it be just as real as any other living thing, with personality, wants and needs.”
“Thought form?”
“All thoughts are real. A mechanical thought form brought to life is a servitor, more like a Droid, limited intelligence, and a sentient thought form manifested is a Tulpa,” her book informed her. “Reference: psychological explanations, multiple personality disorder, schizoid break, paranormal explanation, summoning’s, shamanic helpers, poltergeists, avatars, soul bounds, Force personalities…”
“There is too much here. G, are your conversations with Windu actually with him or a Tupla?” Ten asked.
“It depends on who you ask. Some might say my Windu is a Tulpa. Many would likely say I am hallucinating. It is possible Windu is a Force Echo of the personality. The personality matrix for all entities exist with access to all chronological evolutionary stages and the variations that lead to the identified personality to its opposite and back being available,” G said. His voice was present and everywhere, and also behind her, fixed, as if he were reading over her shoulder.
Ten formulated in her mind the perfect Tulpa companion. She listed all the character attributes she idealized, but to keep it balance, it also had some character traits that were less than ideal. She listed more than were necessary, allowing for the Tulpa to have some choices and options. She chose its form. It was mostly human. It was female, and resembled a character from one of her favorite graphic novels. She was probably in her twenties. She wore a black vest over a purple bodice over a white cotton dress that draped longer on the right side than the left, with purple hair and purple, knee high socks. Her eyes were twilight gold and sea greens. Her mouth had a natural smile, with a noticeable philtrum that accentuated the cupid’s bow of her lips; lips that were painted lilac blue. Her eyebrows were darker purple, one side being thick, heavy waves tapering to vanishing points. All she had to do was push the button, and this character would be downloaded into her brain. She would share her brain with another sentient personality construct.
“If I make a Tupla, am I creating it, or calling something that is already in existence to me?” Ten asked.
“Why can’t both be true? Or neither. Maybe there are other explanations equally valid, all dependent on perspective,” G offered.
“I’m sorry I keep needing to go over this: Jedi or Sith, light or dark, male or female, positive or negative, love or hate, these all seem easier to touch than your third path. Your path meanders through the middle,” Ten said. She pushed the button, and the download commenced. “It takes too long to get anywhere. I don’t want to meander, G. I want to get straight there. I ask you to tell me what to read, and you say, read whatever, which is random, and it just seems to add pages to my journey. It just adds distance and time. Things would be so much easier if you could just tell me what to do and where to go and I could be there already. Please, just give me the shortest, most direct route to my goal.”
“Ten, if you get nothing else from my meandering diatribes, get this: lightening never takes a straight path,” G said.
“Wow!”
Suddenly she was immersed in a blue light, awake, hovering in a light so bright and so endless and so thick it was like sustained lightening. G wasn’t there. She was alone, but not alone. She felt love pouring into her. As the light faded, she saw the galaxy before her, only space was blue and the stars were shades of grey, as if they were a negative print. The ambient light she was immersed in went from blue, to indigo, to violet. It continue to move up in frequency until the sky went black, and then the stars shone with their own lights and colors. She held the galaxy between her hands, not touching it, but feeling lightening moving from the stars to her hands, tickling her fingertips. From this perspective, the galaxy was simply a disk of information that she was tapping into, neither separate from her, nor even distinct. As she shrank, or the galaxy grew, the feathery trails of stars and dust spun into her, through her, dissecting her down the middle of self, but without harm. It was a pleasant sensation. She became aware of other hands, also tapping in. There were more eyes than stars, but she was not afraid.
She found herself back in her body, holding a real book, closed in both hands. She was still in the dream that wasn’t a dream.
“Where did you go?” G asked her. “I don’t know,” Ten said.
“What did you do?” G asked. “I don’t know!” Ten said.
“What did you learn?” G asked.
Ten cried. “G, it’s so much! I will never understand all of this!”
“Let me give you a magic word,” G said.
“Really?”
“Yes. Whenever you feel compelled to use words like ‘never’ or ‘always,’ substitute it with ‘sometimes,’ and you’ll change. And when you change, the universe will change. That’s the way of it,” G said. “You want to know how I can do all the things I can do? Well, it’s mostly because I grew up without anyone telling me I couldn’t.”
Ten woke from her dream, which wasn’t a dream, and sat up. “G?” she asked. All was silent. She got up from bed. Pink awoke from ‘sleep mode’ and followed her, whistling softly. Ten motioned her to be quiet for a moment, as she sat down at her desk and began to draw a picture. She drew a circle holding lightening. She did several configurations, found one she liked and then printed it. She took the patch and stuck it on left arm.
Movement from the corner of her eye caused her to look up. When she did, she discovered there was someone else a presence. A female, looking identical to the woman she had created in her dream that wasn’t a dream. Ten swallowed, part of her fearing she had lost her mind. Was this the space sickness that many solitary travelers have experienced? The woman seemed puzzled.
“I don’t know how I came to be here,” she said. “Do you?”
“I asked you to be here,” Ten said.
“You did?”
“I require help, learning the ways of the Force, and exploring my own inner psyche,” Ten said. “You will have access to my unconscious mind. Of course, it is a request. You don’t have to serve. I am okay with a friendship.”
The stranger’s hand passed through the terminal. “Am I a ghost?”
“No, you’re a sentient personality that is sharing my brain, and I am the host,” Ten said. “I called you into being. The more we interact, the stronger you will become. I have even created a dream world for us to interact in. We could go there now, if you like. I could show you around.”
Red whistled a query.
“Red wants to know who you’re speaking to,” she said.
“You understand Astromech?” Ten asked. She confirmed the dialogue on the screen.
“I guess so,” she said.
“Unless you understand Droid and I am simply accessing an unconscious skill. Why would you limit your personality matrix?”
“And that’s why I need you!” Ten said. “Do you have a name?” She stood tall. “I am Princess Kyoko.”
Ten stood to greet her. Their hands passed through each other, but even so, Ten experienced a tactile sensation that gave her chills. “We’ll work on that. I am told I can develop a sensitivity to your touch and be impacted by it. My name is Ten.”
“What shall we do now?” Kyoko asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve been working creating you for a month, and quite frankly, I was becoming skeptical, but this, I mean, you, this is beyond what I imagined. I hear you, see you,” Ten said. She reached out and tried to maintain contact with her by being deliberate and slow. She touched her face. “I can feel you. I smell you, like lavender.” Ten couldn’t resist. She kissed her. She retreated, her eyes closed. “And I can taste you.”
Ten opened her eyes and Kyoko had her arms crossed, and she seemed angry. “If you created me as a love interest, this is not going to work out,” Kyoko said.
“I am sorry,” Ten said. “I shouldn’t have taken such liberty. I was simply curious.”
Kyoko’s reaction softened. “That doesn’t ring completely true,” Kyoko said. “There’s more to it.”
Ten didn’t expect she would have to go deeper this fast. The Tulpa already challenging her, but it seemed reasonable. She sought explanation for her behavior. She would have never kissed another person without permission, but she kissed Kyoko without even thinking about it. “I am not sure. Maybe I have an inner bias.”
“You created me so you think you can do as you like,” Kyoko said.
“That’s sort of what I was thinking but didn’t want to say it,” Ten said. “When I dream, the characters in my dream are just me playing other characters, so…”
“So, it’s okay to do what you want with them?” Kyoko asked. “Maybe you should treat as if they were really others. How you treat yourself is how you will treat others.”
“That’s a great point,” Ten said, feeling appropriately rebuked. She created Kyoko to be equal, sentient, and insightful. “Again, I am sorry.”
Kyoko said. “You need real friends. Not just Droids. Not just me.”
“I am okay. I don’t need friends,” Ten insisted.
“You invited me to share your brain, which mean, to maintain optimal health, you must meet a variety of criteria, exercise, sleep, nutrition, and a social interaction,” Kyoko said.
“More than just the Jedi you meet in the dream world. Speaking of the dream world, that place you created for us. May I have my own place, a private place, somewhere I might retreat to when I need to think? Can you make me a friend?”
“You want friends?” Ten asked.
“Well, you’re still just a kid, and it would be nice if I could have a friend or two my age,” Kyoko said.
Ten was taken aback. “I didn’t fully prepare myself to the idea that you might not want to share my company,” she said. She found her feelings hurt, but was trying to apply G’s advice and not be affected by an external event. Technically, this is an internal event. An internal external event? Her head was hurting. She was having second thoughts for having engaged in this process.
“Do you suppose G would like me?” Kyoko said. “Like you how?” Ten asked.
“Romantically,” Kyoko said. “Unless you’re going to let me borrow our body, G is the only one likely to be able to visit me in the dream world. Unless we can find a telepathic friend that can allow me to interact on the mental and emotional levels.”
“You want to be romantically involved?” Ten said. “Well, yeah,” Kyoko said. “I am not a Jedi like you.”
“I am not a Jedi,” Ten said.
“But you’re trying to be and you’re celibate,” Kyoko said, and then, as if insight. “Oh, maybe my heightened sense of libido is due to your suppression of sexual interest.”
“You know why I suppress that shit!” Ten said.
“Yes. I do. I am sympathetic. But you can’t go your whole life hating all men,” Kyoko said. “Oh. But you kissed me. Perhaps you need a girlfriend.”
“No!” Ten said.
Kyoko drew closer, playfully, teasing her. “But you did kiss me. And, intimacy is healthy. So, in the absence of either of us having a partner, maybe we should engage each other.”
“No!” Ten said.
“You started this!” Kyoko said. “Kiss me again.”
“No!” Ten said, backing off.
“I am sorry. I see I am came on a bit strong. But I feel so alive, I want to explore. Can we go somewhere? Somewhere where there are people and fun things to do?” Kyoko said.
“We’re on our way to Axxila,” Ten said.
“Oh, that sounds like fun. We could go the club together. Do you have any other clothes?” Kyoko said.
“Pretty much, just what I am wearing, and more of the same,” Ten said.
“Why would you want to be so uniform? There’s a three d printer on board, right? We can make some clothes together?” Kyoko asked.
“I need time to think,” Ten said. “You’re sending me away?”
“Not permanently. Can I have some privacy?” Ten said.
“We share a brain. How can there be privacy?” Kyoko asked.
“This was a mistake,” Ten muttered.
Kyoko withdrew to a lounge and began to cry. Ten was confused. She knew when she started reading about Tulpas that they were sentient personality constructs, and they would want to be autonomous, but she was simply unprepared for the reality of this.
“I am sorry, Kyoko,” Ten said. “I am going to need time to adjust. I have lived in brain alone most of my life, and since I started dream work with G, I have realized so much more is possible, way too much for me to do this alone, and I do have this need, and I called you into being to help fulfill it, and I just need time to adjust. You and I are okay. I am not going to kill or abort you.”
“You promise?” Kyoko said.
Ten came over and sat beside her. She could feel Kyoko’s leg brushing up against her. “I promise,” Ten said. “I am a little freaked out at the moment, but I still need an inner friend and guide to explore the deeper recesses on my consciousness, and venture further out into the other realms. We’re going to be a team. And we’re going to have to learn how to be together.”
Kyoko wiped her eyes. Nodded. “I would like to hug you.”
It took practice to go slow enough to hug without pushing through each other, but they took their time and experienced a hug. Kyoko brought her lips to Ten. Ten didn’t resist. From Red’s perspective, Ten’s lips opened in an O. Ten kissed back, sucking in on Kyoko’s upper lip, her tongue exploring. There was tactile sensations, taste and smells. There was a physical, emotional, and a mental connection. She couldn’t help but surrender to this, unlocking her own sensuality for the first time without shame or guilt and a desperate need to run away.
G arrived at Waterborne. The Star Destroyers Priya had commandeered were in orbit, manned by the Deterrent’s crew that had been left out of the fight. FixIt was happily employed in the infirmary, working on patients, some of them Resistance. The original crews of the Star Destroyers were planet side, deliberating the deal. The crews had been offered the same deal she had offered her own people, the same deal G had offered when he commandeered his first ship: return to their families and never fight again, or join their cause. Less than half wanted to return to their families, and of those, most were the new Storm Troopers, conditioned to follow order.
They would be making this their family, probably making them a fiercer foe, as they had been torn from their family long ago and no one had ever given them this kind of option. Some of the Troopers simply refused to deal, not recognizing Priya’s authority. They too were free to go, but they were to be delivered to a planet where they could find their way back. And then there were some who had heard about the only way to truly be a member of Waterborne was to die by drowning and be revived, and there were some wanting to prove their allegiance by participating in the ritual.
“I told them I would think about it,” Priya said. “That it was an honor ceremony. I didn’t want tell them we no longer do that.”
“If they want that, hold a ceremony, make it a ritual, have their crews watch, especially the Troopers who don’t want to make the deal. Even if you end up dropping them off and they return to the First Order, they will carry with them the message of the ritual, and that we are one, bounded by a death and rebirth,” G said. “But provide it only if they volunteer.”
“Some people don’t return from that,” Priya said.
“I know,” G said. “And that will just be more fuel for the rumors that you’re the new bad ass to contend with. The rumors have already started, it won’t take much more to make you bigger than life. Some say you’re the greatest evil since Vader, and you have a bad ass apprentice. I think that’s me, but I don’t have a pseudonym picked out yet. Some are calling you a savior. The First Order is trying to counter both of those messages by saying you’re just a petty tyrant that needs to be squashed, justifying why they need a stronger presence in the Galaxy, to defend us from the likes of you. Either way, we are now prominent players on the galactic stage.”
“I’ve learned from the crew, if Axxila didn’t fall, they were supposed to regroup and take a secondary target,” Priya said.
“Dathomir,” G said.
“You knew?! Why didn’t you tell me? We could have gotten to Dathomir in time to prevent them from taking it,” Priya said.
“It wasn’t our mission,” G said. “And your crew was not committed. We needed to sort them and integrate them with the our tried and true. I do hope you’re changing the name of the Hornet to something else.”
“G, don’t change the subject. We have friends there,” Priya said. “Family!”
“I have not forgotten them,” G said.
“Is that why you nearly collapsed on the Bridge? You saw it? You had to make a path choice?” Priya said.
“No, I nearly collapsed because Daphne is dead,” G said.
Priya sought the truth of it. She couldn’t touch it, but she believed she was dead. “How?” Priya asked.
“She completed suicide,” G said.
Priya was affected, but she steeled herself from crying. She embraced G. “I am so sorry for your loss, brother. I should have put more effort in helping you bring her home.”
“That was my mission, not yours. She had to follow her own path,” G said. He touched the back of her head, his fingers combing through her hair. His eyes were moist, but no longer flowing. No more about this.
“Have you seen her since? Have you communicated with her?” Priya asked.
“No. I know she is one with the Force, but I am having trouble locating her,” G said. “It is my intention to find her, and ease her suffering should she still be suffering. I am still perturbed. I don’t know if I am being blocked because of a higher authority in the matter, or because she doesn’t want to see me.”
“Do you want me to try and reach her?” Priya asked.
“No. I need to understand this. It’s connected to my mission somehow,” G said.
Priya left his arms, and turned to the window overlooking the world of her rebirth. A world of mostly tundra and ice, with a small band of tropical forest circling the equator. As they passed into the shadow, the lights on the planet indicated the communities here were larger than what could be discerned on the day. The stars became more prominent as they proceeded deeper into the night side. She turned and slipped up onto the window ledge, illuminated and glowing a soft white. She reclining against the glass. She liked the way G was looking at her.
“If you’re not going to employ me straight away, I am going to liberate Dathomir,” Priya said. She saw his eyes go to her knees, before rising back to her eyes. She kicked her legs, like a child dangling wistfully from a swing.
“I will not stop you, but I am blocked from helping you,” G said. “If you do this, this will be you, not me.”
“Are you okay with that?” Priya asked.
“Of course. You’re free to pursue any endeavor you wish,” G assured her. “But I suspect, your true mission is to avoid Hux and Poe. Both the First Order and the Resistance will have placed bounties on your head. They are not your mission. Hux and Poe both want you dead, but their worldliness are not meant to end with yours.”
“I lived with that threat of death all my life, I am not worried about them,” Priya said. “Will liberating Dathomir interfere with your needs?”
“No,” G said. “It might even help it. I want the Galaxy to think you’re in charge, and I am your puppet.”
She chuckled, almost snorted.
“Come here, puppet,” Priya said, beckoning him closer to her.
G came to her, bumping up against her knees, running his hands up her thigh, teasing at her hemline before going deeper. She opened her legs to him, and he came in closer. Her legs folded around him. When he kissed her, he took her back against the window. They took it to the level they always take it, only, without removing clothes, only opening, or shifting things that needed to be moved to make it happen, her back against the stars, his hands hooked under her knees, as they shared an alcove that was very similar to the one she use to sit and stare out into space on the Deterrent. He remained, even after they were both satisfied, holding her, her arms and legs wrapped around him, gazing into her eyes and breathing in her air, and then he was gone, folding around her and through her, leaving her even more satisfied, and then, missing him and wanting more.
G was in his body, back at the Fortress. He was in his body and aware, but also above it, in sort of a dream world. It was artificial reality of his own design which made it easier to interface with his Jedi council. There were no council members today, but Sorbus was there. And with her, a friend. A giantess. She seemed human in every respect, except for her height.
“Forgive my intrusion, G, but she has asked me to introduce her,” Sorbus said. Her feet were solid here, walking, unlike in the real word, where he experienced her as floating. Still, her hair and dress moved as if it were in fluid.
The woman with her was black, solid black, and dark, almost like night, which accented the gold makeup highlighting her eyes and lips. Her hair was gold, red, and green, twisted dreads that fell to both shoulders, hiding the straps that held her dress up. Her dress was simple, greens and yellows.
“This is Axxila,” Sorbus said.
“Axxila, like named after the planet?” G asked.
“The planet is named after me,” Axxila said. “I have had many other names over my life time. Many other peoples have inhabited me. The humans dominate this world now, and so I come to you in this form, partly because this is who I have become, but also, it will help in our interaction.”
“You are the planet, and you’re a conglomerate of all the personalities interacting on this planet,” G stated.
“You are as perceptive as I was told,” Axxila said. “You fought for me today. I am grateful.”
“I fought because I thought it would help advance my agenda, but it appears to have been in vain. I have killed today and I am sad,” G said.
“I see that,” Axxila said. “But you prevented suffering. When life suffers, I suffer. And I am not talking about the struggle of the every life of individuals that succumb to natural life events, but of the masses. Life on me has been forever altered, and this world is governed and occupied by sentient beings. There are more sentient beings on me today than there were trees in my past. Gone are the days when I was primarily plant and animal base. There are still plants here, but all indigenous orgasm are long gone, or buried under so many layers of cities, that even if the human present left today, the surface would not recover before the sun had extinguished. I am committed to this pathway. It is consensual. You helped preserve it.”
“You didn’t come to thank me,” G said. “You spoke for the souls here, and they wanted this. They needed this, or you would not have allowed me to act. Just as Dathomir was blocking me from acting, because they need what’s coming. Maybe to sort folks, or maybe for more clarity in conscious awareness. It didn’t occur to me though, that the collective unconscious might manifest a personality capable of representing them. Oh. Is the one I seek a giant? Like you? Perhaps a planet or a star, or even a grouping of systems?”
“I am sure you will find out soon enough,” Axxila nodded. “The Emperor had her attention and the galaxy fell into darkness. Now you have it. We are worried. But I believe there is kindness in you. A fierce love for life. I think we should side with you. Hidalgo continues to be your champion. Saving his family didn’t hurt.”
“Who are ‘we’? In this context, it sounds greater than the souls that comprise your matrix,” G said.
“You are really clever. All cultures have a group soul, a consensus reality. So do the planets, the stars, even the atoms themselves, dancing through the cosmos, through you, and back. For every grouping, every coupling, every agreed interaction, a new soul emerges from the Force, with its own personality and wants and needs. This is not just a metaphor, they exist. They grow as the group grows. The more people who participate, give it love, or fear, both are equally nourishing, the more it grows. And this is why you are not about to stop the wars from coming.
Too many people are devoted to the conflict. Even death is not an escape, for they only return to the consensus reality that best served them, and continue the work on that side until they return to this side and try again. I represent the people of Axxila. My constituents want you. If you die, they still want you. If you want, you’ll have place here with me.”
“You want me to serve you?” G asked.
“No, I want to serve you,” Axxila said. “I still remember the days when plants and non- sentient animals roamed in great masses across my surface. Those days are gone, but I remember them, and hold them in dreamscapes where you would be happy. I could take you there and comfort your soul. I hold within me all the collective memories of the past and present souls, all of those who visit and leave. I have all the incarnations of me, all the evolutionary stages are available. I can teach you,