“You like it? That there's my Exo-Skelton I've been building,” Cletus said, a wide smile beamed across his face. “Away from the missus a'course,” he said in a hushed voice, using his hand as a shield to block his mouth. “On account’a she don't like me wasting too much time building useless gadgets.”
“Jesus, Cletus, this thing is mighty incredible,” Billy Bob said. He tiptoed around the base of the hulking machine. Head on a swivel, eyes scanning the big robot thing. Up and down.
“Thank yuh, Billy Bob,” Cletus said with a slight bow.
“Where'd ya learn to build something like this, Cletus?” Jimmy John asked, standing in front of the Exo, gazing up, hands on his hips.
“On the boob tube,” Cletus said. “Some'a them scientists was on one’a them science shows making these here skeletons with the Exo's. And I says to myself, 'I can damn sure build one of those with the bits and pieces and chunks of metal I got laying around the farm. So I go out and fetch the metal and start building the thing in here.”
“Amazing,” Jimmy John said.
“I tell Betsy that I'm shoveling manure. We ain't even got cattle! Ha! Sold 'em. When she tells me to milk the cow I just run along to the market and buy a couple jugs to pour in a bucket. Can't tell no difference. Now, no stinky cows and no more shoveling shit. Ha!” Cletus said, slapping his right thigh.
“Good thinking, Cletus. Alright, fetch some'a that duck tape for us,” Billy Bob said.
“Sure. Should be some over in this here tool chest,” Cletus said. He scurried past the Exo to the back right corner of the shed. Lifting the lid on the chest, sifting through the metal objects scattered inside. They clattered against each other, thudded against the dense wooden container.
“Shoot. I don't see it. I know I got some,” Cletus said. He pulled his head out from the tool chest and rubbed his chin, climbing back up onto his two feet.
“Hold on,” Cletus said, “lemme check up top.” He jogged over to a ladder on the other side of the shed, a slight limp in his left leg forced him to sketch a line with his foot along the dirt covered floor. Up he climbed, like a clumsy spider hobbling up a jagged wall. Disappearing over the ledge onto the second level of the shed. The wooden floorboards from the second deck croaked and groaned with each of Cletus's thumping steps. A greaseless creak filled the shed, and more metal rattling from beyond the ledge. Mixed with the occasional curse from Cletus.
“What's goin on up there, Cletus?” Billy Bob asked.
“Well,” he said, his voice muffled beneath the clashing metal. “I can't seem to- Ah!” he shouted. “Got some.”
“Not that clear crap right?” Billy Bob asked.
“Nope,” Cletus shouted. “It's the authentic gray duck tape. I'm gonna toss it over. Heads up!”
Billy Bob and Jimmy John squared and lowered their bodies, clapping their fists into their open palms like they were ready for a pitcher to hurl a baseball over a plate. Bright yellow sunlight streaming through a gaping hole in the roof flashed against the gray object as it flew through the air. Twisting, turning, round and round like a tiny disco ball. The hunk of duck tape smacked right into the Exo, sticking onto its huge metal head, caught in between two slender pieces of steel.
“Dammit, Cletus. What kind of throw was that?” Billy Bob asked.
“What happened? Duck tape hit you in the face?” Cletus asked, chortling.
“No, you silly hillbilly,” Jimmy John shouted. “You got it stuck on the skeleton’s damn head.”
“Ah bogus! Sorry fellers. I guess I should have looked before tossing it over muh shoulder,” Cletus said. “Maybe I can jump through the air and grab hold'a the Exo.”
“Mind your little limp now,” Billy Bob said.
The shed was silent for a moment, except for the dark green leaves rustling atop the apple tree just outside. And then. Boom! Boom! Boom! As Cletus sprinted across the wooden floorboards. He launched off the edge with his better right foot, darting like a broken arrow through the air. Smacking against the Exo's metal head, sliding down just a tad onto its shielded right shoulder.
Cletus reached up and patted against the metal, searching for the tape. “Gotcha!” he shouted, tossing the gray roll of duck tape down into Billy Bob's hands. The throw put Cletus off balance, sending his left foot flicking off of the metal skeleton, swinging into the open air.
“Whoa! Be careful now!” Billy Bob said.
Cletus flung his left foot back onto the skeleton's shoulder and stepped on a long lever sticking out from the Exo's back, sending a white floodlight shining down upon Billy Bob and Jimmy John. They shielded their eyes from the bright light beaming down from the skeleton’s chest.
“Cletus, you turned the thing’s light on,” Billy Bob said, his voice muffled from beneath his arm covering his face.
“Flick that lever off,” Jimmy John said. “The one you just stepped on.”
“Alright,” Cletus said, kicking the lever a second time. A short click crossed over the shed. And then, the Exo's piercing white floodlight turned off. The little clicking sound was followed by a long buzz and a steady whir, like a mechanical cat purring.
Billy Bob peaked from behind his arm. “What in tarnation!” he screamed. “Cletus, that hunk of metal is moving!”