| Chapter Thirteen.
Love and War
We sat a test in sociology. I found that it went well, the only problem being that I was running out of time as I had so many theories to cover. We have no break today ,we started school later than usual to make up for this, so it’s straight to lunch. I go to find Calix. I see the back of his head, framed with his wondrous thick hair.
“Calix !” I call out to him. When he turns around ,I am shocked.
His eyes have dark circles underneath them and look red and puffy as though he has been crying.
“Seren,” he says quietly.
I rush over to him.
“Calix, what’s wrong? You look awful,” I say, realizing as I get closer that even at his worst, he still looks better than most people at their best.
“Oh, yeah. I guess I’ve had a rough night,” he says, not elaborating.
“Why, what’s happened? Let’s go somewhere quiet to talk about this,” I say ,grasping his hand, leading him to the library.
We sit in the corner, as far away from everyone else as we can get. I’m starting to feel concerned why he seems so reluctant to talk about what’s wrong.
“Calix, please tell me why you seem so upset. I’ve never seen you like this before,” I say gently, putting my hand on top of his.
He shakes his head and remains silent and is reluctant to make eye contact with me.
“Please Calix, you really are starting to worry me now,” I say urgently.
“I can’t tell you Seren. It would upset you too much,” he says finally, looking every inch a broken prince.
“Upset me? Let me guess, this is to do with your Father again. One night back and he’s already causing havoc. Look at the state you’re in,” I say bluntly.
He sighs.
“It’s to do with him, yes,” he says before returning to silence again.
“Frankly it’s upsetting me more that you’re keeping it a secret. I’m imagining all sorts. Just tell me, no matter how devastating the news is. My heart is beating so fast and my hands are shaking from worry,” I say truthfully.
“Okay, okay. We can’t get married. Dads banned non-citizens such as you, from marrying citizens such as me,” he says.
“Oh is that it? Calix just recruit me and I can be a citizen,” I say, not getting why he’s making such a big deal out of this.
“That’s where he’s been clever Seren. You can now only become a citizen of the City of the Broken if you are born one or personally recruited by the king,” he says.
“What? You mean you no longer have the power to recruit,” I say frantically.
“Exactly,” he says.
“This man is insane. He’ll stop at nothing until he’s ruined us. The city’s divided and still all he cares about is our relationship! Why am I such a threat, now that the Smiley’s are bringing happiness to the city?” I ask enraged, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“That’s what I don’t understand myself. He didn’t want us to marry in case we encouraged happiness .But the Pro-Happiness group is the biggest threat at the moment, not you,” he says, bemused.
“Oh he’ll soon have them under control. But if the prince was happy ,then that would be the end. He knows what he’s doing. You are the figurehead ,the symbol of the city. You are all that matters,” I say furiously.
“Yes ,I think that could be his logic .He views The Smiley’s as irrelevant and rather powerless but I think he underestimates them sometimes,” he says, thinking deeply.
“Oh Calix. I’m devastated. Yes, I’m perfectly happy as your fiancée. But I truly wanted to be your wife. Our wedding is off,” I say.
“I know. I’m so sorry Seren. Don’t give up on us, that’s the only way he’ll win. We still have each other .He can’t spoil our happiness by preventing marriage,” says Calix convincingly.
“I was just so looking forward to our wedding and now he’s spoilt that .But yes, you’re right.
He can’t stop our love and if he thinks he can, he’s a fool. Did you tell him about the group meeting?” I ask, changing the subject, as I wipe away my tears.
“No way! He’d only ban that as well. I mentioned the divide but shockingly he didn’t seem that concerned. All I had last night was ‘you can’t marry that girl Calix’ and ‘you can’t recruit anymore’ ,” he says.
“That’s probably where he’s been. Arranging for those new laws and rules to be brought in,” I say.
“You know, sometimes I think this isn’t about happiness and the city, but love .It’s almost like he doesn’t want anyone else to be in love since he lost his wife. It’s almost envy,” says Calix.
“You really think he’s that bitter?” I ask, uncertain that I agree with this idea.
“Yes. If he can’t have someone to love, then neither can anyone else. Of course I could be wrong, but it’s my theory,” he says.
“Has he told you of his plans in reuniting the city?” I ask, interested in what the king’s strategy will be in defeating the Pro-Happiness parade.
“He didn’t mention anything. And it’s less reunite and more like ‘destroy the enemy’ with him,” says Calix as we head back to class.
In psychology ,it finally hits me that I’m not getting married. Now I feel broken. I also feel a great deal of sympathy and admiration for Calix. He has so much to deal with, both as a son and a prince and yet he manages to remain just and sensible himself .I can understand now why he’d just like to be ‘normal’. He’s beautiful, talented, intelligent and he’s royalty. It would seem he has it all, but does he really? I wonder if my Calix has ever felt carefree .Has he ever laughed so hard it hurts or not had the burden of his father and the responsibility of the city on his shoulders? Life is always seriousness for him and the thought makes me sad. Maybe he’d be more privileged if he was normal .He could marry who he wants, not worry what the public or the press thought, not have to organize groups and attend meetings all the time and he could just be himself. Despite his fortunate circumstances, Calix could sometimes appear quite tragic.
After class, I walk with Calix through the car park, where Alfred is waiting with the
Rolls-Royce.
“Now Calix, you’ve got to start standing up to your father. He’s a control freak-changing laws to prevent you from getting married. When you get home, be sure not to let him push you around,” I tell him forcefully ,fed up of fighting this impossible problem.
“I do stand up to him all the time Seren. I’m forever trying to make him see reason, but it’s no use. I’ve tried and failed to change his mind so many times in the past, that it feels pointless to even attempt to again. He just ignores me and sometimes my complaints to him can even make the problem worse,” he says, seemingly tormented by the topic of his father.
“This man is ruining my life. I would never have thought it possible that one human alone could be such a barrier to bliss,” I say, shaking my head.
“He really is the most unreasonable man ever, I know. I’m going to work on some ideas for next week’s reuniting group tonight, but maybe you can come to the city tomorrow and we can show Dad that our love is still going strong,” smiles Calix, trying to make me feel better.
“You never stop, do you Calix? It’s an irony that such a horrible man could have such a kind and altruistic son. Yeah I’ll come tomorrow, but I don’t care what your Dad thinks about us. I’ll come because I want to come, not to put on a show for him,” I say.
“See you tomorrow then,” he says, leaning in to kiss me, instantly cheering me up in a way that talk alone never could. But I still feel the sting that my wedding has been robbed from me.
I wave and as he drives away, in my melancholic state, it’s only now I realize the hearse-like quality of his car.
I walk home, past the cemetery where the married couples lie, the lucky ones in life, who I suppose didn’t have an overbearing parent preventing them from becoming one flesh. Walking through the City of the Broken is like walking through a cemetery at night-eerie, forbidden yet morbidly beautiful.
I’m still wearing my engagement ring and will continue to do so. We can’t be husband and wife but he cannot stop us from being engaged. I do wonder whether or not the King would have been a likeable person when his wife was still alive. Heartbreak and grief can change a person and must make life hard to deal with sometimes, but is that really an excuse to be so corrupt and cruel to others, especially one’s own son? I don’t think so.
After school ,I head alone through the gates of the Broken to meet Calix, who left early as he’s so busy with the plans for the meeting. I’m eagerly looking forward to the next showdown between the citizens, finding a dark delight in the drama akin to those who used to go to public hangings.
Calix is meeting me by the black columns of the Bank of the Broken. As I walk to our meeting place, I note that there are far fewer citizens dressed in bright colours and exhibiting smiles than the last time I visited. I presume this has something to do with the kings return.
I spot Calix leaning against a pillar, with dark shades on looking like a male model posing noncommittally for a gothic fashion shoot .As I get closer, I realize he looks a little stressed out.
“Hey Calix, are you okay?” I ask him and he looks more relaxed when he sees me.
“Yes Seren. Don’t worry, I’ m fine. I’m just really busy organizing everything ,this on top of school and dealing with Dad. Hey, I’ve come up with an idea and I’d like to know your opinion before I start to work on it,” he says, eyes illuminating with the light bulb of innovation.
“Okay, go ahead,” I say intrigued and flattered that Calix wants to know my opinion.
“I want to do a public vote on whether people are Pro-Happiness or Pro-Despair. Public in the sense that it won’t be limited to group members only. It’ll include anyone who’s a citizen. It will also be anonymous, which I think is important as it’ll encourage people to vote. What do you think?” he asks leaning in, eager for my answer.
I pause for a moment to think before answering.
“Well it’s an interesting idea I guess Calix, to know what the opinion of the majority is. But what are your intentions when you discover the result of the vote? And we have to bring it back to the main problem again-what about your Dad? If it’s a public vote, he’s going to know about it!” I say, still not completely certain of Calix’s idea.
“The intention Seren is to show Dad the City’s true feelings. If there is a landslide vote either way, the city will need to follow that direction. I see myself as a modern prince and I’m not opposed to change .I want Dad to know what the public really think, and I think this is the best way to do it,” he says exuberantly.
“That could work out well in theory I suppose Calix but it could also backfire, if there’s not a landslide, it could divide this city even more and enrage your father to the point where he’ll take serious action,” I say concerned Calix hasn’t thought this seemingly democratic idea through enough.
He considers what I’ve said, looking slightly perturbed I’ve highlighted weaknesses in his idea.
“I do see your point Seren, but to be honest I think this city is already divided in a detrimental way and a vote couldn’t cause much more harm. Dad can do a lot, but even he can’t argue with the majority. If there’s not a huge difference between the results then I don’t really think the vote will make much difference, people will stick to their chosen side and Dad will continue to oppose any changes to the city,” he says ,still confident in his idea.
“With regards to the divide Calix, when I was walking through the city today I’m convinced there were much less people wearing colour and looking happy. Why is this?” I ask.
“Dad’s had wearing bright clothing made into a criminal offence, many of The Smiley’s have been arrested. That’s one thing I am concerned about as this could have a substantial impact on the vote Seren as a lot of Pro-Happiness members are now in hiding or in jail,” he says.
“Will the Pro-Happiness members come to your group this week now that they’ve been criminalized?” I ask feeling sympathetic towards The Smiley’s as I don’t think they deserve such harsh treatment.
“Well prior to Dads return I had people giving out flyers and advertisements in newspapers for my group, but I think that at the moment it’s absolutely essential it’s kept a secret and that as many Pro-Happiness group members as possible come without the fear of being arrested or getting into trouble by attending,” he says, fair and just as always.
“So how are you going to organize it this week, if you can’t advertise?” I ask.
“Well all the group members from last week know the time and place to attend ,but since they wrote their details down I’ll contact all of them to reassure them that it’s okay for them to come,” he says kindly.
“Surely though, a Pro-Despair citizen at the meeting will report them to the King? They are enemies after all,” I say, concerned that this meeting will result in a siege.
“That’s a possibility. I’ll ask the Pro-Happiness group to dress casually and not to wear bright colours, for their own safety, not because I have any allegiance to the Pro-Despair group.
Hopefully they’ll believe my motives to be sincere,” he says altruistically.
My Calix, noble by blood, noble in heart.
Chapter Fourteen.
The Black Hospital
I dress neutral to attend the secret City Reunited meeting, while last time I leant far more toward Pro-Despair, the oppression of The Smiley’s makes me want to champion the underdog, but since it’s now illegal to dress colourfully, I opt for causal-white t-shirt and black skirt. I spot Calix at the entrance of the community centre, it seems he had similar ideas to me in terms of dress. He’s wearing black jeans and a light blue shirt, much different from his usual all-black outfits. I assume he’s done it to help make The Smiley’s feel more relaxed.
“How’s the turn out Calix?” I ask, aware that as I’m late, the majority of the group should already be here.
“Bad. Three Smiley’s who are leaders of the Pro-Happiness movement are not here, although I’ve been informed that two of them have been arrested. Anita is also absent and there is a lot of hostility between the two groups,” he says, looking worried.
“What, more than last time?” I ask, not believing that this group could get any more hostile.
“Yes, last time was tame compared to the furore that just occurred in there. And don’t forget this is meant to be a secret meeting. I was hoping for quiet and stealthy, not a brawl that could be heard a mile off,” he says ,sweat running down his brow.
“Oh Calix, don’t fret. We all knew this meeting was going to be a little chaotic. Why isn’t Anita here?” I ask, wondering if the less than stylish venue was too much for her to endure more than once.
“No idea. I did ask Frederick but he remained silent and looked like he didn’t want to talk about her,” he says.
“Perhaps they’ve split up?” I suggest.
“Maybe. Let’s go inside, we’re missing all the action out here,” he says, grabbing my hand.
As we walk in, I’m aware there is an atmosphere of hatred. The Smiley’s that are here look extremely anxious, as though they feel they are putting themselves in immense danger.
Frederick looks on guard, as if he’s hiding a dark secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know.
We take our seats. Frank Speakman looks flustered and horrified ,as if amazed by the arguments that happened before I arrived.
“Right, we all know it’s been a little hectic in here to day. But if you can all calm down, we can try and get back to sensibly discussing the issues at hand,” says Frank, trying to establish order.
One group member, who I think is a Smiley dressed in the guise of an ordinary citizen, speaks up.
“Why is this group necessary anymore? The divide that was here last week exists no more. The King is yet again forcing us to be broken, making colour and joy illegal. Since he has criminalized the Pro-Happiness movement and all we stand for, I really don’t see the point in you holding future meetings,” she says in a calm but dejected voice.
“That is an excellent point. Prince Calix, do you think there is any point in holding the meeting anymore?” asks Frank.
“While I acknowledge that Dad has changed laws to criminalize the Smiley’s, he cannot change peoples beliefs .I think that the argument that erupted today is evidence of that. There is continuing resentment and the whole point of this group is to reunite the city, to get us to work together and value each other as fellow citizens. It isn’t about changing people views. Therefore I still think it’s necessary, perhaps even more so than last week,” says Calix charismatically.
“I’d like to speak in support of the city,” says Frederick, his eyes intense and mysterious.
“Go ahead, please,” says Frank, looking a little awe-struck, as though he greatly admires Frederick.
“This is a wonderful city. It’s a city that has its own values, its own culture. A city with an individuality that sets it apart from the rest. This city changed and perhaps saved my life. I represent it and it represents me .Who would want to change it? If you want happiness and colour, go to another city where you can legitimately embrace this without interference. Leave the city as it is, the way it was meant to be. That’s all I have to say on the matter,” he says, returning to his sullen yet enigmatic silence.
A number of group members clap, cheer and whistle in agreement with what Frederick has just said. I think that I also agree with him. Yes the King can be harsh, but what makes this city remarkable is its uniqueness. The Smiley’s want to make it the same as everywhere else and in some ways that would be a shame.
“Everyone has this idea that we want to drastically change this city. We don’t, we just want to promote the freedom and choice to be happy and wear colour if you choose. At the moment people are forced, now by law, to be gloomy and miserable all the time. I think that’s wrong. I think that’s dictatorship,” says The Smiley forcefully, reaffirming her point.
“Okay, well both points are relevant and thank you both for speaking up so that the group can see two sides to the argument. You there, young lady, we’ve never heard from you before.
Would you like to add something?” asks Frank, motioning to me.
Suddenly everyone’s eyes are on me and I glance towards Calix, not sure if I should speak as I’m not a citizen. Calix whispers ‘go on’, encouraging me to say something.
“I’m very fond of this city. Yes it’s eerie and dark but that’s what makes it special. I can see why The Smiley’s feel frustrated. The King is nuts, but I think that it’s the King who’s the problem, not the city,” I say shakily.
Calix smiles and says ‘good job’, although I’m aware that he looks a combination of amused, embarrassed and shocked at my public King-bashing speech.
“Thank you for that,” says Frank animatedly.
“Well. Everyone’s had their say. There are so few of us here today that I’ll think we’ll wrap it up a little earlier than planned. Here again, same time next week then I suppose. Thank you all for coming,” says Frank.
“I’d just like to add that this meeting is now strictly confidential .If the King finds out about this group, he’ll have the meetings stopped. So I’ll ask everyone to keep your attendance here secret and be wary of telling anyone about this group. Please understand that this step is necessary for the safety and well being of all group members. We can only achieve positive steps if we can keep these group meetings going for a consistent period. Thank you all again,” says Calix.
As we leave the meeting, Calix walks alongside Frederick.
“How’s Anita Freddie, will she be here next week?” asks Calix in an almost concerned tone.
I’m baffled why he seems so worried.
Frederick remains silent and looks away.
“Frederick! It’s the ballet, isn’t it?” asks Calix ,more demanding and less friendly this time.
“Yes Calix. If you really want to know, it finally happened. The way we always knew it would,” Frederick finally snaps. I have no idea what they mean.
“What’s happened to Anita?” I ask, now worried myself, but they both ignore me.
“They took her then?” he asks.
“Yes,” says Frederick, blocking all his emotion. He becomes cold and robotic. His eyes hiding a sadness ,a dark memory that fascinates me, just as much as Anita’s disappearance.
“When Frederick? When did they take her?” asks Calix, frantically.
“Last night. She was there at the ballet, as usual. Every single performance. Then sometime during the interval she began crying and screaming manically. The Theatre staff led her out as she was disturbing the other audience members. But she didn’t stop. The crying, the screaming continued. She kept saying ‘My broken dream, my broken purpose’ over and over again, so I’ve been told. So the Theatre staff, not knowing what to do and being unable to contact me as I was training and had switched my phone off, called The Black Hospital. They came to collect her in an ambulance and that’s where she is now,” he says, looking almost ashamed.
“Oh poor Anita,” I say feeling sad for her.
“I hate to say it, but if I’m honest it’s a relief. She was like an addict. We had no relationship.
Her only love was that ballet. We barely saw each other and when we did, she’d only ever talk about the performances,” he says sadly.
“Why didn’t you leave her?” asks Calix.
“I wanted to. I had to stop myself everyday from calling her to say this wasn’t working. But I felt sympathetic towards her. She’s a shattered human, as am I myself, but I channel it into a better form than she does. I needed to protect her, from something like this happening. I guess it wasn’t enough. If I didn’t have Black Ball, I would end up the same as her,” he says.
“I’m sorry Freddie, really I am. I knew something was wrong when Anita didn’t come. Unless she was at the ballet, I could think of no other reason for her to miss the meeting. I always feared this would happen to her. I saw her eyes at the ballet. I could see she had become a zombie, a shadow,” says Calix, sadly.
“We all knew it would happen one day. The only person who didn’t was probably Anita herself.
She believes herself to be a Prima-Ballerina, not a woman having a nervous breakdown because she was never the girl she thought shed be,” says Frederick.
“Do you think that they can help her?” I ask, trying to see the situation from a positive angle.
“No. It’s kind of a taboo to ever talk about that place, but unofficially everyone in this city knows that the hospital is where people go to die-metaphorically, if not literally. It’s for those with no hope. Those who are too broken to even be broken citizens. It’s a prison, not a hospital,” he says strongly.
“Frederick we must help her. What you say about that place is true and we can’t leave her there.
Anita is troubled, I won’t deny it, but being in a place surrounded by people who are much worse than she is isn’t going to help her,” says Calix.
“But what can we do? They’ll never let her out. They don’t let anyone out,” says Frederick.
“We’ll have to break her out. She needs us, or she’ll be stuck there forever,” says Calix, sounding worried.
Frederick, Calix and I get into the back of the Rolls-Royce and Alfred is instructed to drive us to the Black Hospital. He doesn’t question this command, but answers simply “Very well, Your Majesty.”
The Black Hospital is situated at the top of a hill. As we drive nearer, the surroundings become more sinister. Crows line the roads and high walls block every escape route. The gate to the hospital is locked and a sign reads ‘No Entry or Exit’. It feels more like a high security prison than a hospital.
“How are we supposed to get in Calix?” I ask.
Calix, for once, looks clueless.
“How do the visitors get in?” asks Calix, baffled.
“There are no visitors. I phoned this morning. They won’t let me see her,” says Frederick hopelessly.
As we all stare helplessly at the lock on the gate, Alfred steps out of the car.
“Are you troubled by the lock Your Majesty?” asks Alfred.
“Yes. We can’t get in Alfred,” Calix says.
“I hope you don’t think that I’m interfering in your affairs Your Highness, but I can quite easily pick that lock if I had a small pin,” says Alfred modestly.
“Really Alfred? That would be amazing. Where can I find a pin? We’ll have to go back to the palace to get one,” says Calix irritated.
“I have a hair grip,” I say, removing a light brown hair pin which was camouflaged in my hair.
“Brilliant Seren. Will this do Alfred?” asks Calix, handing it to Alfred.
“I think this might just do…the trick,” he says as the open lock falls to the ground.
“Alfred, you are a genius! Where did you learn to do that?” asks Calix, impressed by Alfred’s hidden devious side.
“The King likes to make sure I’m prepared for all possible circumstances Your Majesty,” says Alfred professionally and humbly.
I smile and we walk through the gate. Alfred remains behind with the car, although I think it would be useful to have him with us.
“Okay, be very quiet everyone .Remember we are not supposed to be here,” whispers Calix.
The moon shines brightly, illuminating everything and usually it makes me feel safe, but not here. The very building is traumatic to look at, as though it holds the memory of every patient past and present ,their desperation to escape entrenched in its walls.
As we get closer ,I realize there are bars on every window. I hear distant cries of ‘Help, help me’ and someone frantically rattling the bars. ‘Let me out.’
“Is that Anita?” I ask.
“It could be anyone. Who would want to stay locked in there?” says Frederick, his eyes gleaming with a distant terror.
“This is such a horrible place. A house of shame and anguish. If Anita’s dream wasn’t dead already, it certainly will be here,” says Calix looking shocked, like he didn’t expect this hospital to be so awful.
“It’s a living death. It’s like they’ve buried those people alive. I don’t think they are screaming because they are mad, I think they are screaming because they are trapped and know they will never get out,” I say, short of breath.
I didn’t expect to feel so afraid or hopeless, but being near this hospital make me feel exactly that. Even in a graveyard there is a sense of peace, but here there is only torment and agony.
“How are we to know which room she is in? There are so many windows, many on the second and third floors. We should have brought a ladder with us,” says Frederick.
“I agree. We really haven’t thought this through. How are we going to get Anita out of this horrid place?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Let’s try calling for her first. That’s the most obvious and easiest step,” says Calix.
“Wait! What about the hospital staff, they are bound to hear us and then they’ll know we are here and we’ll have to leave without Anita,” says Frederick, sounding alarmed.
“Okay .Stupid plan. Seren, do you have any ideas?” he asks.
“Actually Calix, I do. It struck me all of a sudden that the only thing Anita pays attention to and cares about is ballet,” I say, believing my plan to be that of a mastermind.
“And?” asks Calix, not understanding the relevance.
“If we play ballet music, or if I pretend to be a ballerina, maybe she’ll come to the window and we’ll at least know which room she’s in,” I say confidently.
“That’s a good plan. Although I don’t have any ballet music and I think creating any noise would be a disaster, so try dancing Seren please!” says Frederick.
“I’ll dance, if you two do as well. But how will she know we are dancing if she can’t hear the music?” I ask.
“I’ll hazard a guess the rooms in there are tiny, if she isn’t already at the window, our dancing will draw her there. Any movement will make her curious .She’ll have nothing better to do than observe what’s going on,” says Calix.
“What if she’s sleeping?” I ask