Chapter Twenty.
I Caught the Bouquet
Calix is already making some big changes now that he’s become King, but of course they are all entirely sensible and beneficial to the city ,not fanatic tactics like the former King exhibited.
He’s had all of the Smiley’s released from prison and is in the process of closing the Black Hospital due to its appalling treatment of its patients. My favourite of his changes so far is his getting rid of the Despair-Enforcement Officers. Our engagement rings have been returned, but Calix was too kind to make anyone redundant so he converted the DEO’s into Riot-Patrol Officers, who specialise in conflict and dispute resolution between The Smiley’s and the Pro-Despair sides. Although I think that these officers are still unnecessary, as since Calix has become King the whole city seems to have made a treaty to cooperate with each other and respect each others wishes. Calix is a figurehead of peace and freedom and I think that now everyone feels relaxed to live their lives as they want to and not be under pressure to be Pro-Despair, they are more inclined to embrace being Broken as a lifestyle choice, whilst still occasionally smiling and wearing colour.
The city has kept its miserable charm and character, but now there’s a freedom and sparkle. Rejects who were once awkward and emotionally scarred, now embrace their inner freak and couldn’t care less what people think, are glad they are different. The Broken hearted who have realized it’s not so bad to be alone, as long as you are surrounded by friends who have experienced the same thing. Depressives who feel more alive after witnessing a famous death, realizing that life’s too short to wish yourself dead. Loners who have woken up to the fact that independence and self-reliance is a strength in itself. Yes, it was a Broken city, but now there was more ambition, hope, self-assurance and cooperation than ever before. The city was empowered. The city has gotten a little lighter. Who’d have thought one person could have such an effect, like a lighthouse illuminates the sea and a single bulb brightens a whole room, so Calix shines into the City, awakening the citizens from their sorrowful slumber.
Four days after applying to become a citizen of the Broken, I receive a letter telling me that my application has been successful and that I am now officially Broken. I guess all those years of being the outcast finally paid off. They’ve even sent me my own Broken starter pack- ‘How to dress as a Broken Citizen,’ ‘The law on smiling,’ ‘Making the transition from normal to Broken.’
I text Calix immediately, wasting no time revealing my true intent.
‘Calix, I’m a citizen. We can get married!’
Calix picks me up in the Rolls-Royce and we drive straight to the City.
“So we are finally getting married? This is amazing Seren. I’ve waited my whole life for you.
You lifted me from the ashes, the dust and made me alive again,” he says with a tear in his eye.
I know that the next week will be spent in obsessive preparation for the wedding. The palace staff are organizing the ceremony itself but it’s up to me to find the dress and it’s not a task that Calix is allowed to help with.
Calix meanwhile is busy organizing the guest list, finding a suit, using his expertise to choose the music and ruling the City.
When Calix first proposed, I was so psyched up for the wedding and was bursting with ideas, but because of the delays and my belief that it wasn’t going to happen, it all seems to have come at once and my inspiration is needed rapidly. I had this idea I’d spend months leisurely walking around shops choosing a dress and getting it fitted, now because of palace efficiency and my desperation to be Calix’s bride it all has to be done within one week. This isn’t helped by the reality that this is no ordinary wedding. Calix is a King and the wedding will be a public ceremony like the coronation and the funeral, but unfortunately unlike these former events the spotlight will now also be on me and my nerves are kicking in. The whole city will be watching and I’m petrified that I will mess up. However I don’t want this added pressure to overshadow my big day, and I must try to remember that concentrating on Calix’s perfect face will calm my nerves and bring me inner peace.
I’ve noticed that since Calix has become King and the knowledge of our impending wedding has mysteriously spread like wildfire across the city that people are much warmer to me than when the former King was alive. This is particularly true of shop keepers and assistants who are keen on securing the royal booking. I can’t help but feel like a phoney. I’m just an ordinary girl, am I really cut out to be the wife of the King of the Broken? But at the same time, that’s not what my wedding is about. It’s about my love for Calix and his love for me. But the Kings statement rings in my head ‘Only love can bring the City to life and heal the heart of the Broken.’ Is this really true, will our public display of love and yes, happiness transform the city dramatically? It’s already changed since Calix has become King, although subtly. I wonder if this final jolt of goodness will resuscitate the citizens fully and heal them from their torment and misery. This possibility further adds to my determination not to be overwhelmed by nerves and have my wedding broadcast to everyone, rather than me take the easy route out and try and convince Calix to let us have a private ceremony. Will the city finally have its victory over the dead King?
The one major problem of having a Broken wedding, is that only Broken citizens are allowed to attend. I can’t invite Jasmine or Charlotte or even my own family as to do so would be to lift the veil and uncover the city. I’ve asked Calix if perhaps we can have a second, alternative ‘wedding’ where my ‘regular’ friends and family can witness the ceremony and he isn’t immune to this idea.
Now that I’ve become a Broken citizen, I have to be sure that I also retain my normality which is difficult when the Ministry of the Broken encourages total conversion to Despair and being a freak is the norm here.
It’s the day of my wedding and I now know exactly how Calix felt on the day of his coronation.
Terrified, excited, overwhelmed ,ecstatic ,the feeling that you are part of something that is huge and yet also entirely personal and unique to you.
I’m wearing a black lace wedding dress and a black veil, thoroughly embracing my citizenship. Marrying both Calix and the city. It’s a fine day in August and my love for Calix has blossomed into a full bloom, akin to the bouquet of white roses that I carry tied with a blue ribbon. Calix is meeting me at the Black Cathedral of the Broken and I understand perfectly what he meant when he said that riding alone in the carriage will be the scariest thing. The worst part will be the crowds. I don’t like being surrounded by crowds at the best of times but especially when I know that I am the spectacle they have all turned out to watch. The Broken bride seeking love to cure her loneliness. I’m like the guinea pig that’s testing out love, happiness and contentment and the citizens want to see if these strange, new and forgotten emotions are going to backfire spectacularly leading to more hurt and permanent breakage or the answer they have always been seeking, the light at the end of the lengthy, dark tunnel that has been their lives.
Alfred is going to walk me down the aisle, as a Broken citizen himself he’s the one most qualified for the job.
Calix has told me that there are two surprise guests who will be attending and this has provoked an eagerness in me to make haste in getting to the Cathedral.
I look at myself in the mirror. I look almost like a child ,a little girl playing dress-up in a bridal gown. It’s the only drawback I can think of in marrying Calix, but the pro’s greatly outweigh the cons and I’m definitely going through with this.
The moment arrives when the carriage pulls up. It’s black, elegant and simple with white interior and pulled by two white horses. The coachman opens the door for me and I get in.
Crowds have gathered and line the road that leads from the palace to the Black Cathedral. I want to shout at the onlookers ‘what are you all here for? I’m nobody special’ but the children of the City have other ideas. They hold banners with my face on that read ‘Seren, Princess of the Broken.’ Adults wave flags with Calix and I on that say ‘Congratulations on your wedding’. I’m sure this would be the deceased King’s worst nightmare come true.
All of the citizens are still dressed in black and look identical to how they looked at the funeral of the King, except a couple sport a sly upward curl of the lip which makes me think that the proverb of the King may be true after all and that love will change this city.
My heart is beating so fast, but I take deep breaths and try to calm myself down. I feel so exposed in this open-topped carriage and even the driver isn’t facing me so I can’t speak to him to ease my loneliness and isolation.
On those days as a child when I used to dream of my perfect wedding which seemed so distant and faraway, like a fantasy that would never actually come true, I never imagined that I’d be dressed in black on the happiest day of my life. But then again I had no comprehension that I’d marry a fallen Prince either. I’m surprisingly not regretting my decision to opt for a black dress over white. The idea was wholly mine, and Calix doesn’t know about it yet. But I thought it was an appropriate symbol of who I’ve become and the life I am marrying into, the life I have chosen.
When at last I have arrived at the Black Cathedral of the Broken, I have composed myself somewhat and mental affirmations such as ‘there’s nothing to fear, this is a joyous occasion’ and ‘think how amazing Calix will look in his tuxedo’ reassure me. I step out of the carriage, aided by the hand of the considerate coachman, onto the concrete floor that informs me ‘this is indeed reality. You are not imagining this’. My two bridesmaids, broken citizens who I have never met before but who were elected by Calix, help hold my veil and the train of my dress as I walk into the Cathedral. They are stylishly dressed in black satin dresses, tied with a white sash.
I enter the Cathedral. It’s all black interior, now decked out with masses of white flowers and candles, giving a striking and classy result.
There at the altar stands the ultimate decoration. The ice sculpture, the cherry on top of the wedding cake, the groom wearing a top hat and perfectly cut tuxedo with a white rose in the buttonhole, matching my bouquet.
I advance towards him slowly, his eyes beaming with a was-lost-now-found look. I smile softly at him and he returns this expression.
Alfred walks at my side, holding my arm ready to give me away to the Broken king. My bridesmaids continue aiding me with my veil and dress, while little broken flower girls, porcelain dolls left on a shelf dressed in black gently scattering white petals lead in front and follow behind.
The organ sounds as I walk down the aisle playing Canon in D Major, whilst black harps gently accompany the organist.
I arrive at the altar and Calix looks deeply into my eyes, as if his heart has been on standstill all these years and is now finally free to beat.
We recite our vows, and in a city whose entrance lies next to that of a graveyard, the appropriateness of the final line really moves me.
I, Seren Amy Loneheart take you Calix Axel Blakely 1st to be my husband To have and to hold, from this day forward:
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer
In sickness and in health
To love and to cherish
Till death do us part.
Calix repeats the vow. His eyes widen at the word death, revealing that he has retained his morbid nature as the Broken King.
We exchange wedding rings, two black bands that bind us together forever and I see the certainty in Calix’s eyes.
“You may now kiss the bride,” permits us to do what I’ve been longing for since I entered the Cathedral and saw the guardian angel standing by the altar. There is an applause from the audience, who look confused like caged lions who have been freed but remain in the same place through force of habit and learned helplessness.
Then I see them. Anita and Frederick, looking the most alive and in love of all the wedding guests, holding onto one another tightly. Dressed fashionably and perfectly groomed, they look like a Hollywood A-lister couple, but you’d expect that from the superstar of Blackball and his fiancée’
I feel so much more confident as we walk out of the Cathedral together and are driven by Alfred in the back of the Rolls Royce to the reception which is held in the ballroom of the palace.
All of the guests at the wedding have followed us here and the whole atmosphere of the
palace feels incredibly positive. The most amazing thing in this room is my wedding cake. It has seven layers, covered with black icing with silver icing sugar and edible diamonds on top.
We have a ‘Broken’ disco. The ceiling of the ballroom hangs with a large silver disco ball and this evening is all about fun. Even some Smiley’s have been invited, showing Calix’s liberal attitude.
We dance to hit songs such as Miss Deranged’ s ‘Bride to Darkness,’ The Mourning Moans ‘Dye It Black’ and a selection of disco classics with Freddie acting as the DJ.
“It’s great that we can finally be allowed to be happy,” I say, my arms around Calix’s neck.
“Yes, it’s liberating but I’ll always be broken Seren, albeit with a hint of a smile on my face and a sense of security and love that I never had before,” he says truthfully.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m broken too now, remember,” I say, softly kissing his lips as Hearse Driver For Beautiful’ s ‘I Will Find You At Midnight’ plays and we are surrounded by dancing couples, our fellow Broken citizens who have woken up to the fact it is okay to love.
Calix makes a speech at the reception which I am all too eager to hear.
“This girl, my wife, Seren, has opened my eyes and taught me truth .It wasn’t until I met her that I realized that I was living a lie, living in denial. I was denying nature, denying love, denying joy. We may be broken but that needn’t be a permanent state. We are fixable ,love is the glue that cements us together again and makes us whole. Seren has done just that for me. I am now complete. Every member of this city is worthy of love, please don’t live in denial of truth anymore. Thank you,” he says, resuming his seat and receiving a loud applause. A tear runs down my cheek and it’s such a touching moment.