Chapter Seven.
Heartbreaker
I walk to the familiar graveyard location of the gate to the City of the Broken. I’m listening to my MP3 player to drown out the silence since Calix is not here with me. I feel lonely, yet still surprisingly zesty with the challenge of facing the king. It’s like it’s given me a whole new rush of adrenaline .I get out my special key and open the gate, closing it behind me and walk through the veil of trees into the city. There’s still a lot of clearing up to do after the BlackBall match. It’s quieter now the match is over, but still busy as I’ve come early and many people are on their way to work. I don’t see any overly ambitious gleams in the eyes of men here, simply a repetitive beat of a drum, without passion or love, done for the reason that there is nothing better to do than work whilst in their state of gloomy aimlessness. Usually I feel I stand out for being the least upbeat person. Here I feel I stand out for being too cheerful, too full of optimism. A lot of the citizens look to the ground, directly avoiding eye contact, preferring their own pessimistic little world.
“Umm hi,” I say to the young girl who’s sitting on the park bench staring into space. She ignores me, which is odd so I ask again
“Hello, can you hear me?” Perhaps she’s deaf or foreign.
“Oh, you were talking to me, I’m sorry. I spend so much time pretending I don’t exist that I sometimes forget other people think I do. It’s always a shock when somebody wants to speak to me. Do they actually think I’m the same, equal to them. Human? I don’t feel it.”
“Of course I think you’re a human, what do you think you are then?”
“Well a lot of the time, invisible, not really alive at all, a shadow maybe, the wind blowing past.”
“That’s a bit odd isn’t it? Why do you think that about yourself?”
“Well, I guess it started when I was younger. When I was a child I always thought I was so important. Wow a human being, that means so much, think of who I could be. But then I went to school and realized there are so many others who are more important than me, that was difficult to deal with. At first I fought it. I’ll show them I’m the best, the ultimate but of course life taught me better. So I decided if I couldn’t be important, I’d be nothing at all. Most of the time people don’t treat me much different to that anyway. When you start believing you don’t actually exist and that nobody cares even if you do, it really is strange when people acknowledge you at all. That’s why I ignored you, I thought ‘oh she’s talking to somebody else, she couldn’t possibly be talking to me, why would she want to’. ”
“It’s so sad you think like that.” I’m really at a loss for words, this girl is such a deep thinker, yet she seems so sad and lonely.
“Yes that’s true, it’s sad. But the only way I can deal with not being important, is to be nothing at all.” She looks downward.
“Well you must be important enough to speak, not everyone has that privilege.”
“I know. Sometimes I think maybe I should stop talking altogether because whenever I do talk, nobody wants to hear what I have to say and that only makes me feel worse than if I had chosen just to be completely silent.”
“I used to date Calix you know. I’ve seen you with him on outings. I know who you are” ,she blurts out abruptly. This shocks me so much. I’m speaking to a girl Calix used to go out with.
“Well what happened, why did you break up?”
“He asked me to be a citizen because I always felt outcast. I guess I felt I belonged here because everyone was broken. I wasn’t offended when he asked me to join at all. Then his father got involved and he ended it. I was devastated but that only meant I belonged here more than ever.
So I stayed ,Calix or not.”
Suddenly looking at this girl, a fragment of her former self, the decaying remains of a personality, I can’t help but feel afraid that the same thing would happen to me if the King gets his way.
I take the underground to the palace, feeling as if I’ve entered a tin of dying sardines. I begin to think myself crazy for being so confident that the King will see me. Why should he?
Even if you take away the fact that he already has a low opinion of me and that he doesn’t want me anywhere near Calix, surely he gets thousands of requests every week from people, ordinary Broken citizens, who want to speak to him for some reason. Why should I think myself so special?
I walk slowly to the palace, hoping I might bump into Calix in the garden and won’t have to go through with my crazy plan that won’t work. But instead, out of the sheer agony of longing to see Calix, I march to the office at the side where they accept all the requests and complaints that go to the palace. There is a formal woman sitting at the desk, dressed in a tweed suit with a frilly blouse. She peers at me through the top of her glasses, intimidating me.
“Hello,” I say.
“Yes, how may I help you?” she says gruffly.
“Umm, my name is Seren Loneheart. I’d like to request a meeting with the King.”
“Seren Loneheart, is that what you said?” She raises her eyebrows in surprise and her voice sounds quite close to alarm.
“Yes, that’s correct,” I say trying not to be worried by her tone.
“The king did say you might come. He also said that if you did, he’d want you to see him straight away. I’ll phone his secretary right now, one moment please.”
“What, really? Oh fantastic!”
I’m completely stunned. I’d have thought the king would want me nowhere near him. But then my delight turns to suspicion, why does he want to see me? What’s his plan?
“Ok, I’ll send her straight up. Thank you,” the secretary says.
“Come with me please,” she says opening a door that leads into the office.
“I’ll take you straight to him. This is very rare you know. He will usually only ever see very important guests.”
“Have you any idea why he wants to see me?” I ask.
“Absolutely no idea, you’ll have to ask him that dear. I only work downstairs, I’m not his personal secretary,” she says huffily as if annoyed she isn’t appointed to this role.
We walk up a beautiful winding staircase with a deep purple carpet, it seems to go on forever.
“Isn’t there an elevator?” I ask her, exhausted from climbing the seemingly never ending steps.
“There is, but for members of staff it is considered correct to take the stairs,” she says as I marvel at how slim she is, convinced the reason is these steps.
The palace is amazing, black marble everywhere, purple and gold being the only other colours, like a midnight sky twinkling with the brightest stars. Finally, we reach the top after passing the oasis of other corridors and passageways the staircase leads to, each one being ignored much to my annoyance.
“Is this where the king is?” I ask hopefully.
“Yes, this is his floor. He’s at the door right at the very end.”
We go down a long, ornate corridor with the same deep purple carpet and this time black tiled walls with suits of armour and works of art, screaming and tearful faces adorning them. At the very end is an oak double door with a gold plague reading ‘His Royal Highness, King of the City of the Broken’ which is guarded by two bodyguards who eye us suspiciously as we walk towards them.
The secretary flashes them her pass.
“Miss Seren Loneheart is here to His Majesty,” she says and they step aside. She walks off so that I am alone to see the King.
I knock the door, but the bodyguard says
“Just go in, he’s expecting you. He doesn’t want you knocking.” So I do.
His office is lighter than anywhere else in the city with mahogany wood panelling, a green carpet and , black furniture and ornaments. He sits there in a huge black throne, the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen. It looks so gothic.
“Miss Loneheart, sit down please, I’ve been expecting you.” He’s surprisingly welcoming.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I say feeling overwhelmed at my lack of anger towards the king.
“It’s interesting to finally meet you. I’ve seen you at many functions ,but for various reasons we have not come into contact,” he says as though disappointed we haven’t met sooner.
“Yes. I’ve wanted to meet you, but I thought you wouldn’t be interested in us meeting,” I say politely but still confused why he wants to see me.
“Nonsense, of course I’ve wanted to see you. I had to tell you something of great importance. I suppose the reason I didn’t speak to you sooner is that I delayed our meeting, for what I have to say may be rather difficult for you come to terms with,” he says with regret.
“Difficult, what do you mean? Is it that you don’t want me to see Calix again, because I already know that obviously,” I say frustrated.
“My dear you are simply lovely ,a charming girl, but I have to tell you this because I would feel an enormous amount of guilt if I did not.”
“Guilt? Tell me what? Please just come out with it already,” I say slightly shocked at my tone, knowing that nobody has addressed the King in such a rude manner.
“Calix tried to recruit you to be a member of this city, didn’t he Seren?”
“Yes, initially but-,” I try to finish my sentence but the King interrupts me “Yes, I thought so. I knew the night I saw you at the ball that my son was up to his old tricks again.”
“I’m sorry?” I just stare at the King, he’s completely lost me now and I have no idea what he’s going on about.
“Seren, Calix, my own son, recruits girls to join this city, he then gets them to fall in love with him with the aid of his natural good looks and romantic charm. Once accomplished he convinces them I have banned him from seeing them anymore, thus breaking their hearts since they can no longer be with him and sealing their destiny as broken citizens.”
“What?” I say in astonishment.
“It’s a cunning plan. He’s used it on every girl he’s ever recruited, but I don’t approve of such devious tactics and so take it upon myself to his reveal his true nature.”
Of course! How could I be so stupid. Calix would never want me, I’m far too plain. It’s been him all along, not his father. He’s always said he’s the champion recruiter and no wonder, he’s a born heartbreaker. Any girl could fall in love with him .He’s so beautiful. But now I know the truth, he’s cold, manipulative and deceitful.
“Thank you for telling me this Your Royal Highness, and to think Calix had me convinced you were working against us, but all this time it’s been him,” I say in shock.
“Calix is very intelligent Seren, but he uses it for a ruthless purpose. I applaud his commitment to our city, but I also know he goes about it in the wrong way. He’s supposed to recruit people who are already broken, not break people to recruit. It’s a shame really.”
I just sit there and nod.
“Anyway, thank you for taking the time to come and see me Seren. I just wish we could have met for a more fulfilling reason.”
He offers his hand and I shake it as I get up to leave.
“Thank you for telling me the truth Your majesty. I’d rather know the real reason than be kept in the dark,” I say grateful I now know the reality.
“Indeed, indeed,” he concurs.
“But why did you tell Calix I was unsafe and send those guards?” I ask remembering the night of the match.
“All his doing Seren, not mine. He arranged for the guards telling them exactly what to say. Do you actually think I could ever ban a prince from seeing the girl he wanted to see? I have power my dear, but not that much,” he laughs.
I knew that night didn’t make sense. Oh, what a fool I feel.
“Thank you, again,” I say and he nods in acknowledgment and I leave in tears the moment I turn my back on the King.
This is worse than being banned from seeing Calix. This is me being in love with a Calix that doesn’t even exist. Calix the sham, Calix the ultimate con man.
Tears turn to rage as I storm out of the palace.
“Oh, Miss Loneheart. What did the King want to see you about if you pardon my asking?” the secretary asks as I leave.
“Oh, nothing,” I say with a face covered in tears, betraying the very line I have just uttered. I keep walking, not wishing to embellish any further on the Kings confession.
I can’t help but wonder where Calix is hiding. He’s probably in this very palace, but I resist the urge to seek him out, preferring to keep my dignity.
Oh, how stupid could I be! Of course Calix the worlds best looking prince, Calix the genius, could never want me. I deserve to have been conned for being such a gullible fool. I remember that girl I spoke to in the street, that broken girl “I used to date the prince,” she said. Of course she did, she was one of those he recruited, who he fooled that he loved like me. I knew Calix was smart but I didn’t know him to be so manipulative or heartless. Doesn’t he care about the girls whose hearts he breaks? He seems to have only one objective: to recruit members of the city, whatever the cost. What a cruel man, but a brilliant prince. Well I shall not let him achieve his aims, I refuse to join the City of the Broken, I refuse to let him break me. At least now that I know this I can just get over him, rather than cry over a Calix that doesn’t really exist. The prince I knew was an illusion. I don’t know if this makes it better or worse, knowing that I was tricked. Calix was always so perfect, too perfect. I should have sussed that something was up.
But I was too blinded by a huge crush, awe struck by the most fascinating human being I have ever met who actually knew I existed and showed interest in me. I’m so gullible. He must have thought I had ’idiot’ flashing in a neon light over my head. He would probably like a girl like Anita, well dressed and just as cold as he is. They are probably both laughing at me right now.
He even convinced me to dress up as a cheerleader! I bet that Anita was in on the whole thing all along. She’s probably his fiancée. And what about that story he told me about Freddie, was that a sham as well? I just don’t know what to believe anymore, things are never as they seem.
And to think he had me convinced all along that his father was trying to split us up. If only that was the real reason, but no, Calix wanted to split us up. He’s planned it all along. It meant nothing to him, just another days business, another girl to recruit, another girl to break. He’s probably already onto his next victim already. If he starts dating any other girl in school, I must tell her of his true colours straight away.
But what I don’t understand is that he said he was recruiting me because I always looked lonely and sad. What was the need in breaking me if he thought me already broken?
As I walk through this wondrous black city, epic and mournful, I can’t help but look at the girls. Girls similar to my own age, women a little older. Are they all women who fell for Calix? They look sad, longing, reaching out willing to give it all to a man who doesn’t want them. I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole world, now I feel like everybody else. But I refuse to be like them. I won’t hang around this city waiting for the prince to love me again when he never will. I will not be broken. When I return to school on Monday I shall be the happiest girl there. I shall have a permanent smile and I will genuinely feel glad. Glad to have had such a lucky escape from Mr. Champion Heartbreaker Extraordinaire. Calix has gone from Prince Charming to Prince Alarming. It was noble of his father to inform me, he could easily have been happy that his son was recruiting citizens, no questions asked. But he didn’t approve of Calix’s devious schemes.
The morning of school I’ve consciously chosen not to wear black. I’m not going to look like the unhappy ‘dumped’ girl. I don’t even know if Calix is going to be there or not. I don’t care, I’m not going to acknowledge him. The worst part will be telling everybody else we are not dating anymore after they saw us looking loved up at the ice rink. He was dropping hints about his ’father’ then. He’s being trying to break us up for ages, only I’ve been too stupid to see it.
Walking into class, Isabelle, shouts across the room “How’s it going with you and lover boy then?”
“Oh we are not together anymore,” I say.
“Dumped you did he? He’s too good looking that’s the trouble, he knows he can get any girl he wants,” she remarks and I nod in agreement.
“You two are no longer on then, what happened?” asks Jasmine.
“He just left me. He didn’t really give much explanation, although he said it was something to do with his father interfering,” I say not wishing to have to explain the full details. Calix is a prince, who uses his model looks to break girls hearts.
“Oh, that is such an excuse Seren, his father? He’s too old for his father to be interfering in his love life.”
She doesn’t know how right she is.
“I know I feel a fool for falling for that line but I guess I’m just over him. I don’t really care to have him explain the truth to me.” She just nods but doesn’t look convinced that I could ever get over someone like Calix so quickly. But to my relief Mrs. Shelley starts to speak about our English assignment.
We listen to Hamlet on audio, discussing Claudius. I’m glad I can sit here and get absorbed in Shakespeare, not having to allow my own thoughts to enter my mind. Not having to think ‘I miss Calix’. It’s going to be a long day. We have a maths test and I haven’t studied.
Why? Oh, I remember. I was having the time of my life dating a hot prince. Maybe the hard reality of fractions, decimals and percentages is exactly what I need. All logic. No emotion. No romanticism or fantasy like in Shakespeare. Because it’s a play about royalty and betrayal and only further serves to remind me of Calix. Oh, look at me, I’m being exactly what he wanted me to be, Broken, my longing heart. Give it up. He’s just as bad as any cheat. The betrayal is the same.
At lunchtime I contemplate staying the whole hour in class, not having to risk facing him again. In the past I would run out of class, straight to the library. Just to look into those oceanic eyes. Now I’m like the Titanic sinking into them, the wreckage consumed by the sea. But then I decide I shall be the ship that avoided the ice berg. I shall go into the canteen. I am not hiding, I’m being strong. If I see him, I’ll just blank him. He deserves it.
I wave when I see Jasmine and her friend in the canteen.
“I’ll be over in a minute,” I mouth at them. She gives me a thumbs up and for whatever reason this instantly lifts my mood. I kind of feel I neglected my friends when I’ve been off gallivanting with Calix. Well not anymore, I’ll concentrate on the laughs we’ll enjoy at lunch.
As I smile at this thought, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and then an earthquake begins beneath my feet. It’s Calix. What does he want?
“Hi Seren. I’m sorry about what happened the other night. I was worried I’d never see you again, but I’ve shook them off my case …for now,” he smiles.
“Oh have you,” I say totally uninterested .He’s succeeded in his mission, why is he bothering me now?
“Yeah, well I’m sure they’ll be back when I take you back to the city but it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to let my father boss me around anymore,” he says.
“Oh right your father, of course. I’m not going back to that city Calix,” I say annoyed while the waitress looks alarmed at my stand-offish behaviour towards Calix. If only she knew.
“Seren? What do you mean you’re not going back to the city? Is everything okay? You seem upset with me,” he says looking genuinely worried .He should go into acting. He’s brilliant.
“Oh cut all this pretence Calix. I know all about your little plan. Your father told me everything.
But I will not let you break me Calix, you phoney. Leave me alone and go and recruit some other foolish girl who falls for your charms,” I say storming towards Jasmine, aware that a lot of people are curious as to why I’m angry at he who looks made of marble. I forgot how beautiful he was in just a day. You can only believe it if you see him.
“Break you? Seren, I don’t want to hurt you at all. What did my father say to you? Please talk to me,” he says looking so childlike and innocent, my heart almost melts. Almost.
“Please don’t Calix. Look I won’t be another girl you recruit, either confess or go away.”
“Seren I don’t know what my father said to you, but whatever it is, it’s probably not true. He is beyond manipulative ,he twists everything. He’s always convinced my girlfriends to leave me.”
Jasmine and her friend stare at each other in disbelief.
“Look I don’t want to do this here with everyone looking at us. Let’s go somewhere quiet if you won’t leave me alone.”
I walk with Calix out of the canteen. I have to confront this .We decide to go into an empty classroom.
“Please tell me what he said Seren.” He looks so sad and concerned that even I take pity on him.
“He told me that you intentionally break girls hearts to get them to join the city, that you were only dating me to recruit me and that you do this with countless other girls,” I inform him.
He looks horrified, but then he could just be a good liar.
“Seren, I haven’t dated anyone for at least three years ,ask anybody who works in the palace.
Freddie and Anita can tell you how he has always wrecked my love life. And now I know how.
I promise, I would never do something like that Seren. Yes I tried to recruit you. But you already looked broken, why would I need to break your heart? But then I genuinely fell in love with you and Dad’s tried to ruin it ever since he found out.”
I don’t know who to believe. He looks genuine .But so does the King. One of them is lying, but who?
“How can I know you’re telling the truth? You could just be saying all this and then leave me again, breaking me forever. Are you dating Anita?” I ask curious as to why he brought her up.
“What? Of course I’m not dating Anita, she’s engaged to Freddie, that’s why she was in the Royal Box at the match.”
Oh.
“Do you ever recruit girls by pretending that you love them and then breaking their hearts?”
“Seren, of course not. Every person I have ever recruited was already broken when I first met them. And for your information, you are the first girl I ever recruited that I’ve dated. All the other girls I’ve gone out with were already city members.”
“Oh please believe me ,I thought I’d already lost you. I didn’t need my father telling you lies to turn you against me as well,” he pleads.
I’m starting to believe he is telling the truth, he looks so sincere. Not a trace of dishonesty in his face.
“But why would your father say that? Surely he wouldn’t go to those lengths?”
“Oh he would. He’s always turned my girlfriends against me. I’ve always been left. I wondered why. They seemed angry with me for no reason, but it’s because of what he told them .I know how persuasive he can be. Everyone thinks him so honest, but truly he is the most ruthless man ever. He will do absolutely anything to maintain The City of the Broken.”
“But why would he think me a threat to it?”
“It’s because you make me happy, and if the Prince is happy, then the citizens may start to be happy and then it won’t be a broken city anymore Seren and he has done so much to make sure it stays that way,” he says holding both my hands and looking deeply into my eyes.
“You mean he’d make his own son unhappy just for the sake of his Kingdom?”
“He would. That’s why he stops me from having a girlfriend. And tries to ban me from mixing with ‘regular’ people. That’s why it meant so much for me to go to a ‘normal’ school. Everyone laid-back, sure they have bad days, but usually they’re in a good mood. And I love that .If I’d have gone to The Broken Academy, everyone would be distraught ,morbid. It’s not the life I wanted,” his voice sounds so longing, he does just want to be like everyone else.
“But I thought you said the City really helped Frederick, saving him?”
“The City’s not all bad, but he’s taken it too far. He’s almost forcing people to be depressed rather than celebrating the freedom in not smiling ,not putting on a show, which I think is what a lot of the citizens thought they were signing up for when they first joined.”
“He has to be stopped. Calix you can’t let him go on like this ,he really is tyrannical,” I say still in shock.
“He is Seren, truly. He was never this awful in the past you know, I don’t even recognize him myself anymore, my own father,” he says trailing off in contemplation.
I put my hand on his arm to comfort him. This is the same guy I thought I’d never speak to again, just an hour prior. And now I feel different towards him than I did before ,I feel sympathetic. Usually I see Calix as this champion of being alive. He does everything so well, excelling at every subject. He has beauty, compassion, depth and yet he just may be a little bit broken himself. I think he had a difficult childhood, and I think his father has tried to knock every single little bit of joy him. I did wonder why such a beauty always looked so lonely when he should be surrounded by girls and friends ,but alas it’s because his Father has instilled in him a sense of melancholy, discipline, seriousness .To be the Prince of the Broken and nothing else.
Not a teenager ,not a boyfriend, not one of the boys. The head of state ,the figurehead of the Broken. What a burden to bear. Suddenly Calix of the perfect life is not looking so flawless.
Being normal definitely has its perks.
“I’m sorry Calix, I shouldn’t have believed your father, but he is so convincing. From afar I never liked him, but talking to him face to face was totally different. It’s bizarre, he practically brainwashed me,” I say feeling guilty for ever trusting Calix’s father.
“Don’t feel bad Seren, he does have this affect on a lot of people. That’s why he’s so powerful.
That’s why he ensnares the citizens so well. They buy into every speech he gives. If they had doubts about living in the city, they certainly don’t after listening to him. I won’t deny he’s a very talented speaker .He knows how to sway opinions and earn people’s respect.”
“I was an idiot Calix, really I was. I’m sorry I doubted you.”
“Shh, Seren, please don’t worry,” he says putting his head against mine, his jet hair mingling with my auburn flyaway locks. His porcelain doll smooth skin lying against mine.
“I’m glad he was lying. I thought I’d fallen in love with a person that didn’t even truly exist,” I say and we both laugh.
“I just can’t believe you thought I was dating Anita,” he smiles.
“If I refused to be a member of the city, would you still want to date me?” I ask him, still wanting to be sure his father wasn’t telling the truth..
“Seren I would still want to be with you even if you never wanted to enter the City of the
Broken again. You mean more to me than anything. I’m not going to allow my father to boss me around anymore. He’s been allowed to get away with so much for so long, but that’s it. No more. He’s wallowed in his grief for long enough and it’s affecting everyone else. I can see that it’s wrong now.”
“Can we go tonight, to the City of the Broken? I believe you Calix ,but I can’t help myself.
There is something about that place, it holds such fascination for me. It’s like a dark dream world, a snow globe with a gothic theme. Even if what your father was saying was true, I still would be unable to refrain from visiting .It’s like a black hole sucking you in. And for some bizarre reason, even though it’s a city of melancholy and despair ,I never feel happier than when I’m walking through it.”
“I know how you feel, it is a perplexing place. A midway between life and death. There’s a tragic romanticism about it. I don’t blame my fathers passionate fanaticism in retaining its eerie beauty.”