The stench of sulfur mixed with pungent smoke from a nearby group of patron's elaborate hookah surrounded Sam and Lars as they arrived at the House. They found a voluptuous woman of small stature sitting cross-legged on the reception desk of the House.
"Jeez," Lars said quickly turning his head.
The view under her short, green skirt caused Sam quickly to focus on a small monkey swaying side to side on her right shoulder.
"Uncubu, it's been a long time," Sam said while battling a stare back from the primate. "See Lars," Sam added over this shoulder, "a majority afflicted by the change are not walking horror stories or insane."
"That's kind of subjective," Lars replied studying the intricate Celtic patterns comprising the ornate ceiling of the House.
"We all have our peculiarities," Sam said with a smile and subtle nod to the madam.
Lars stammered after another regrettable glimpse, "I never knew there were female, ah—
"Leprechauns," Sam injected. "Just be glad she's not a cluricaun; they're big trouble in a bar," he added to a blank stare from the madam.
The Leprechaun slid off the front of the registration desk then adjusted her large, bare bosoms beneath the suspenders holding up her too short skirt. She then frowned as she glanced at Lars then stared up at Sam.
"It's Sam," Sam told her emphatically and relieved that she had finally decided to abandon the top of the House's front desk.
"Sammy!" she exclaimed in recognition just before the small monkey screeched at Lars. "Didn’t recognize you without the ulcha dearg," she added ignoring the creature now atop her head, secured by
two, handfuls of coarse, red hair. "How's Sara?" she asked and then added, "Terrible news about O'Shanley's but I'm glad to hear the Machine is safe."
"News travels fast," Lars whispered behind Sam's back.
"Sara is missing," Sam told the madam while trying to ignore the monkey's series of bizarre facial contortions directed at him.
"More terrible news," she said thoughtfully. "Lots of Laith traffic through here lately, especially demon forms. Think there could be a connection?" she added touching the side of her nose with a stubby index finger.
"That's why we're here," Sam said. "Boo, let me introduce Lars."
"Does he have a last name?" she asked looking up at Sam's lanky companion then down to his crotch at eye level.
"Not one that matters, madam," Lars replied politely just before the monkey shrieked again as it bounded onto her left shoulder.
"Don't mind Jué," she said. "Poor thing hates men," she added with a wink at Lars before she turned and jumped on the desk to grab the register.
The resulting aft view of the leprechaun made Sam shudder as he heard Lars gasp.
"It's the beginning of tourist season," she said while sliding off the desk. "But we should have accommodation. No extra's, if I remember correctly," she added flipping through the register.
"Hopefully we won't need to stay that long," Sam said with a sigh.
"Extras?" Lars whispered.
"Don't ask," Sam replied deadpan.
"We're looking for Silho," Lars said. "Have you seen her?"
"I wouldn’t be expectin' her tonight," Boo said. "But I'll tell her you'r—
"Is the dungeon open?" a dark wisp in roughly humanoid form interrupted. "So sorry Boo," it added sheepishly after noticing Sam and Lars.
"It's Wednesday night, organic night," Boo said. "No mechs, ghosts, pookas or other intangibles, including sentient wisps. Besides, there's a high-stakes, speed poker tournament starting down there. Invitation only.
Sorry, you know the rules," she added kindly as she pointed her small thumb over her shoulder at the door.
"Be thankful we arrived tonight," Sam whispered to Lars as the wisp did not bother to open the door but flowed outward, vanishing through the door's tired fit within its jam.
"We probably need to thank Drac for that," Lars muttered now studying the Celtic knots in the House's carpet.
"Drinks are still free to travelers," Boo said pointing across the crowded parlor to the bar.
"Thanks," Sam said, feeling the need for whiskey.
"Most gracious," Lars said as he scanned the depths of the House.
"And a most unusual crowd," he added turning his attention to the bar.
Patrons crowded along the extensive bar included vampires, sirens, satyrs, imps, elves as well as two zombies and one large centaur.
Interspersed with the not so mythical creatures were a few humanoids of various alien races. An obviously frustrated grogoch behind the bar was trying to serve the demanding customers.
Sam saw more patrons loitering on the staircases flanking the bar that led up to private, group and novelty rooms. He recalled the archway behind the bartender led to administrative offices and a security center.
"Organic night is popular," Sam said.
"Very," Lars replied and then gulped as he tapped Sam on the shoulder to get his attention.
"Hi Sammy," a beautiful female vampire said.
"Blemmyes," Sam said turning around. "How's business? And this is Lars."
"Always good to meet a friend of Sammy's," she said before baring her fangs in a smile of sorts while examining Lars' neck. "And business is always good; not that you'd know," she added with a sigh.
"Have you seen a Laith called Silho?" Sam asked.
"Does one ever really see her?" Blemmyes asked inspecting her impeccable blood-red fingernail polish. "Its organic night, so good luck finding that bimbo, Sammy," she added while coyly wrapping several strands of her flame, red hair around her left index finger.
Ink covered her entire body, only her face remained pure, porcelain white. She licked her lips staring at Lars.
"I like your tattoos," Lars said with contrived composure.
"They are not tattoos. Don’t call them that," Blemmyes said scornfully while twisting the strands of hair to breaking point. "They're skin illustrations," she added harshly, pulling out a small clump of hair.
"Oh boy," Sam muttered.
"Of course," Lars said nervously. "Skin illustrations. Very beautiful."
"Philistine," she distainfully proclaimed at Lars just before morphing into a large bat and flittering agilely between patrons and up the left stairway.
"Temperamental," Lars said solemnly.
"Long story," Sam said with a sigh. "We might as well have a drink," he added looking over at the busy bartender.
"Think they have Guinness?" Lars asked.
"The house has everything including exceptional Guinness," Sam said with a chuckle and then leaned over the bar and whispered something in ear of the grogoch tending.
Getting a quick nod from the bartender, Sam ducked under the bar's hatch to help. He then made the first pour of Guinness for Lars then set the pint down behind the bar.
After serving various beers and cocktails to several other patrons, Sam slowly finished filling Lars' pint of Guinness, producing a rich, creamy head of foam mounding just above the brim of the glass.
Lars took a deep swallow of the dark brew. A big smile followed as he proudly displayed thick remnants of the foam on his upper lip. "This is an Irish pub," he added slowly as the revelation dawned on him.
"We get around and there's big business in bars in the right location," Sam said thankful the crowd around the bar was beginning to thin significantly. "And it seems the Irish side has become a bit over commercialized," he added handing Lars a bright green bar napkin with a sparkly shamrock in its center.
"Thanks for the help, Sam," the grogoch said in a thick Scottish brogue. "Can you cover for me for a few more minutes?"
"Sure, Donnan," Sam replied and gave Lars the daypack he had brought from the Breeze as the grogoch headed through the archway behind the bar.
"What time is it anyways?" Lars asked receiving a chuckle from Donnan before he was out of earshot.
"Good question," Sam replied. "But one without an answer."
"Like Vegas then," Lars said with a nod while absentmindedly rubbing the greenstone around his neck.
"Gaming is on the third floor and best keep that under your shirt,"
Sam said quickly scanning the few remaining clients that thankfully ignored them.
"Sorry. It’s getting to be a habit," Lars said sheepishly as he tucked the pendant under his tunic. "I feel a bit anxious without my watch," he added.
"I can imagine," Sam said, knowing how vulnerable he felt without a TD as he poured himself a shot of ancient Bushmills.
"I know this is all very weird," Lars said. "You and me on a mission after all these years of mainly talking baseball and bullshit."
"Welcome to the party," Sam said clinking his shot to his old friend's beer glass.
"I have a prototype TD in my lab that's ready for final, field trials,"
Lars said. "A gold version. I'd feel better with the flexibility to correct any bad situations after they happen."
"I could never use it," Sam said downing his whiskey. "Family rules."
"But I could," Lars said with a sly smile.
"Let see how this pans out," Sam said reluctantly. "But there are good reasons not to impact our own timelines."
"I know all too well," Lars said. "Believe me, it's not something I take lightly."
"Sam," the bartender interrupted from the archway, "Your presence is requested in the Hefner room. Thanks again for the help. I owe you."
"Think it's our contact?" Lars asked grasping his pint glass still nearly full of dark ale.
"One way to find out," Sam replied pulling a dingy bar towel from over his shoulder and handing it to the grogoch.
They made their way up the left staircase, now mostly empty of patrons, then along a hallway, stopping at the fourth door on the right. A small, hand-drawn bunny's head complete with black bow tie roughly centered in middle of the door was all that betrayed their destination.
Lars shrugged his shoulders as Sam guessed the crude sketch was just about the height of Boo's reach. Sam knocked gently, but not before both stepped to the side of the door.
"Come in," a sultry female voice said from within as the door slowly swung open.
The source of the voice was not obvious. Just inside the threshold, the gaudiness of the room stopped them as the door closed behind them.
A large heart-shaped bed, complete with red, frilly comforter, dominated the room. To one side was a shower stall and bidet. A small bedside table overflowing with various bizarre sex toys for humans and aliens was the only other furnishing.
"Hello," Sam ventured trying not to stare at the multitude of karma sutra positions covering the red wallpaper over the bed. Then he saw her, or at least her form subtly superimposed on the complexity of the erotica.
"You must be Sam and Lars," the curvaceous silhouette said.
"And you must be Silho," Lars said. "Nicely incognito," he added with a small nod.
"Ambassador Draconous has informed me of your predicament," she said. "You have a segment. May I see it," she added while turning two-dimensionally to Lars.
Lars pulled the greenstone from beneath his tunic and showed it to her.
"I thought the last piece was lost forever," she said wistfully.
Sam said, "It’s my understanding there are three components to the Timestone."
"Shhhhh," she hissed sharply. "Do not mention it by name here. And you are correct," she added as Lars tucked the pendant back beneath his tunic.
"So you know where the other segments are?" Lars asked.
"I believe so," she said. "They are still joined and are now here on Fauth. However, their true power has been lost to myth. The one that possess the other segments values them as only priceless artifacts."
"What or who has them?" Sam asked.
"A collector called Eligos," she replied, "a most evil demon."
"So how do we obtain them," Lars said. "I didn't expect them to be held in a collection."
"Well there are there obvious options," Sam said. "We can offer to buy them—
"Impossible," Silho injected sternly. "Eligos has no interest in money, just rarities and power."
"Or we can steal them," Lars said.
Sam sighed.
"Also impossible," Silho said. "Eligos' collection is held in an intra-dimensional safe."
Sam sighed again. "That would complicate things," he said knowing the usual paranoia of most temporal antiquity collectors as well as dealers.
"Any suggestions?" Lars asked the shadow.
"Poker," she said flatly. "It's the only way."
"What?" Lars asked.
"It's Eligos' only weakness," she explained, "and it seems fate has timed your visit to coincide with the eighty-eighth annual, high-tempo game. Collectors and dealers from across the galaxy should be at the table."
"What’s the buy-in?" Sam asked nervously.
"Anything deemed of high enough value by the moderators," she replied, "and the standards are extreme. Eligos should use the segments as his buy-in just to show off. He's done it before."
"What exactly is this speedy poker?" Lars asked.
"Kinda like Russian roulette but more painful," Silho said.
"What do we have?" Sam asked.
"Draconous has already provided a cover as well as your buy-in,"
Silho said. "There," she added as the shadow of her index finger extended around two corners of the room before pointing at a small box behind them next to the door.
Sam placed the box on the bed, released its simple latch and gently lifted the lid as the boxes ancient hinges subtly squeaked.
"Shit," Sam said seeing the box's content as Lars leaned over to get a closer look. "This is the buy-in?" Sam asked Silho in disbelief.
"It that what it looks like?" Lars asked.
"Yup," Sam said while gently lifting the plain, unadorned wooden chalice from the form-fitted, padded interior of the box. "The Family heirloom," he said as the cup glowed softly around its smooth edges as he held it. "Mick knew the turner," he added while shaking his head.
"What?" Lars asked incredulously.
"It been out of Mick's museum and on display in the queen's reception," Sam said. "Drac has taken an enormous risk in borrowing it,"
he added then sighed as he pushed his fingers through his short, hair.
"He must have time-snatched it," Lars said with a chuckle.
Sam wondered if borrowing things, only to return them to the owner a millisecond later, was common practice for his friend.
"A demon's dream acquisition," Silho said breaking Sam's thought.
"Not that its power would do it any good, but owing it would bring much influence."
"I don’t know about this," Lars said. "What if we lose?"
"We can’t," Sam said, "for the women's sake as well as the power balance in surrounding fractimes."
"Lars will be your second and can accompany you near tableside,"
she told Sam.
"I do have an excellent knowledge of statistics as well as an exceptional memory," Lars said warily.
"Draconous also provided a simple disguise," she said pointing to a old baseball hat and a pair of mirror sunglasses on a hook on the back of the door. "They should prove helpful as your competitors will be focused on discovering any tells."
Sam smiled as he instantly recognized the hats logo; it was a Pirates cap.
"And our cover?" Lars asked.
"Two independent travelers, treasure hunters, that recently discovered a Nazi horde including the relic in the box," she said. "Its value will be obvious to the moderators regarding your ad hoc request to enter the game."
"And they will know what this represents?" Lars asked gazing at the cup.
"Absolutely," Silho replied earnestly. "Registration is about to close down in the dungeon, so you both should hurry," she added.
Sam's last-minute buy-in delighted the game's moderators and the crowd swelled around his table expecting the first deal of the tournament's two rounds.
As an official explained the rules to Lars, Sam noted there were six tables with six chairs each arrayed in a large circle in the smoky dungeon.
The tables' winners would take a seat at a final table, which stood empty on a small stage in the center of the other tables.
One seat, besides his was still empty at the first-round tables; he guessed it had to be Eligos' as the only other demons had a subservient look about them. Lars thought they were only proxies and Sam agreed.
Settling into his chair, Sam pulled the brim of the Pirates cap down a bit more as he nervously fiddled with one of the 1000 plain, green chips he had earned with the chalice. He sighed as Lars told him the game was pot-limit Galaxy Hold 'em. It was a variant of Texas Hold 'em with three hole cards and the player's choice, discarded prior to the river.
"This should be quick," Lars added, "as single denomination chips are most unusual."
"Merciful might be more apt," Sam said, thinking the House's demon stench control could be a bit better.
"The house deals and the blinds escalate fast but there're only four levels in the first round," Lars continued while reading the schedule from a pad one of the moderators had provided. "There's a one-time re-buy in
either round," he added, "not that we have anything now to use to get back in. The table winner in the first round gets to choose one buy-in from the losers. The rest goes to the House. The final round winner gets all of the final round loser's previous winnings.
"Fair enough," Sam said.
"Here's the mandatory blind schedule," Lars said. "If you don’t have the chips for any blind- you're out," he added handing Sam the pad.
"Agrona, this is going to be fast not to mention cutthroat." Sam said.
"We'll need to size up our opponents fast," he added while studying the others at the table from behind his sunglasses.
He immediately decided to call the three weasel-faced demons sitting to this left the Three Stooges. Next to them sat a three-eyed beast with long, delicate blue fur- Big Blue. He did not recognize the species of a humanoid alien hissing through a breather on his right and decided to name him Snake.
"Oh yeah, don’t cheat, nasty consequences," Lars said. "Ah, this must be Eligos," he added whispering in Sam's ear.
A small entourage accompanied a tall, handsome red-skinned devil to an adjacent table. He wore an impeccable, crimson sequined, three-piece suit from which a thin, deep red, forked tail emerged. Two pale, small horns flanked his high forehead in contrast to jet-black, long hair, and waxed goatee that he stroked as he glanced briefly at Sam before taking a seat.
"Good luck," Sam said to the others at the table over the hiss of the breather beside him but received no reply.
Sam could tell the sequins on Eligos' expertly tailored suit irritated Donnan as he ripple shuffled three times, strip shuffled once, and then rippled once more. Squinting from the sequins, he placed a green cut card in the center of the table then put about half the cards on top of it. He then added the rest of the deck to the pile before placing the deal button next to Sam.
"Bad luck there," Lars, leaning forward in his seat, said in Sam's ear,
"those demons get to pay the low-value blinds. So, by the time the expensive blind gets around to you, we will have to have taken at least one player out."
Less than a dozen hands then I can get Sara back, Sam thought as he pushed the sunglasses tight against his nose. He took a deep breath as the dealer burned the first card then dealt three-facedown cards to each player starting with Moe, the demon to Sam's left.
This first hand was over quickly as players were obviously buying precious time to analyze their opponents. The hand ended with the Big Blue taking the blinds as well as several hundred chips from two of the stooges. Sam had a pair of three's with jack high after the flop and folded with Snake.
Before the next hand, the dealer moved the deal button to the heavily tattooed stooge, Moe. This forced Larry and Curly to make the small and big blinds.
Sam took another deep breath as Big Blue bet two hundred and fifty chips pre-flop.
Snake called.
Sam spread and lifted the right corners of three cards stacked in front of him to disclose their values: the nine and deuce of hearts and the nine of clubs. He pushed chips to match the big blind as well as two hundred-fifty chips into the pot.
Moe folded as Larry and Curly called.
The dealer burned a card then dealt the face-up flop: the six and queen of hearts and the king of spades.
Sam knew a rough flush was possible with two more cards to go and possibly a winning hand by the look of the sad flop.
Big Blue checked, as did Sam after Snake folded.
Larry, a bright green-skinned imp, giggled as he pushed a hundred-count stack into the growing pot followed by Curly.
Sam knew he probably would have to beat at least a three-of-a-kind as he followed Big Blue adding a stack matching the imp's to the pot.
The dealer burnt another card then dealt the turn: the nine of spades.
It was the best Sam could hope for but still probably not enough for a win.
Big Blue took a few minutes to check and that gave Sam time to consider his cards. He knew exactly the unlikely possibility of a heart flush and his three nines did not stack up too well against a three-of-a-kind with any of the two face cards on the table. He checked knowing Larry would bet.
"Two hundred," Larry announced in a gleeful, shrill voice as his delicate hands shakily pushed two stacks of chips into the pot.
Sam smiled at the demon's lack of control.
Curly grinned, showing a mouth full of chiseled teeth then said, "All in."
Sam watched Big Blue's fine fur gently wave in the drafty dungeon.
The creature was taking his time again. Sam figured it was considering backing out as Big Blue folded. It was now just Sam and the two minor demons.
The problem was Sam hated the luck that had given him a sucker's hand and he was about to pay a killer big blind for a hand that probably would be worse.
Sam turned his head to Larry knowing the demon could not see his eyes behind the sunglasses.
"Call," Sam said while pushing matching stacks into the pot.
"You've got to be joking," Lars whispered nonchalantly in Sam's ear.
Larry's green skin grew subtly paler as he uneasily followed suit.
"Pot's right," the dealer said. "Please discard a hole card," he added looking at Larry.
The demon flipped the king of clubs face up into the pot as he bared brown, pointed teeth in what Sam took for a smile.
Head games, Sam thought at the demon's risk of revealing such a high hole card.
Also against protocol, Curly laid the eight of hearts gently on the mound of chips in the center of the table.
The dealer gave a subtle nod to Sam.
Sam flicked his deuce in the hole, face down, into the center of the table.
The dealer burned another card and then dealt the river.
Sam heard Lars exhale subtly as the nine of diamonds fell in to line with the rest of the cards next to the pile of chips.
Larry's demeanor changed abruptly. It stared at its chips then to the large pot; only a barrage of guttural Scottish obscenities from Donnan brought him back to the present. "Straight, King high," it said flipping his remaining hole cards, a jack and ten, and then looked expectantly at the demon next to him.
Curly smiled evilly at him as he turned over his hole cards: a pair of kings giving him a full house.
A startled Larry disappeared in a puff of putrid green smoke.
"Recalled," Snake hissed through his breather then chuckled.
The dealer looked to Sam.
"Four nines," Sam said flipping his hole cards over one at a time.
Curly imploded just as Sam revealed the last nine and Snake chuckled again.
"Shit, those were big hands so early," Lars said as Sam pulled the stacks of chips to him.
Sam could not believe his luck as he pushed his big blind to the center of the table and the dealer pushed the deal button to Big Blue.
Donnan shuffled then dealt hole cards to the remaining players.
Sam peeked at his cards; he had a pair of aces and the seven of clubs, a decent hand.
Blue called and matched the big blind as did Snake.
"Pot's right," the dealer said as he dealt the flop: the queen of diamonds, and the three and jack of spades.
Big Blue fiddled with a few of his remaining chips then said, "All in."
The crowd surrounding the table gasped.
"Call," Snake said quickly.
Sam had no alternative. "Call," he said pushing the required stacks into the pot. Even if he lost, he still would be significantly ahead to last another hand.
Sam looked at Big Blue. If he was nervous, it was impossible to tell.
Shit, Sam thought, as the dealer dealt the turn. It was the four of clubs.
"Please, the discard," the dealer directed the players.
Big Blue pushed one of his hole cards into the middle of the table.
Snake did likewise as Sam added his seven of clubs to the other discards with a subtle exhale.
"The river," the dealer said as he dealt the last card: jack of diamonds.
Sam sat motionless waiting for Snake to show his hole cards. It seemed the rhythm of his breather's hissing quickened as he turned over another queen and three.
Sam quickly turned over his pair of aces and with the two common jacks, his hand beat Snake's queens and threes.
Big Blue muttered something incomprehensible as he tossed his cards into the pot face down; he was out of the competition.
"Nicely played," Lars whispered as Sam pulled his winnings into the stacks in front of him.
Sam glanced over at Eligos. The demon, a large stack of chips in front of him, smiled as two of the players at his table were already out.
Sam counted out his blind and pushed the five hundred chips into the center of the table.
The dealer slid the deal button to Snake and then dealt the hole cards.
Sam took a quick glance at his three cards.
Snake looked over his remaining chips as vapor from his breather swirled above his head.
Sam knew Snake might not meet the next blind and that would be mean disqualification. His opponent needed a good hand or he was out.
"Call," Snake said and matched Sam's blind.
The dealer dealt the flop: two threes and the queen of spades.
"All in," Snake said pushing his remaining chips into the center of the table resulting in most of the surrounding crowd applauding.
"Call," Sam said adding chips to the pot to match Snakes all-in.
"Brave," Lars whispered, "but what choice did he have?"
"Pot's right," the dealer said then dealt the turn: the eight of hearts.
"Please, discard prior to the river," Donnan told them.
Sam sighed as he peeked at his hole cards again. He selected the six of clubs and tossed it onto the pot.
Snake pulled the top card from his hole cards and expertly flipped it on top of Sam's card.
"Pot's right," Donnan repeated as he dealt the river: the ace of spades. "Gentlemen," he added looking at Sam.
Sam turned his hole cards over revealing the ace and seven of diamonds.
Snake stood up with quick hiss then strode out of the dungeon leaving a trail of vapor.
"A resignation is not a fold," the dealer said and then turned Snake's hole cards over - the queen of clubs and ten of hearts.
The win had come down to Sam's ace in the hole giving him a strong two-pair.
A moderator came and stood behind Sam. "We have the first winner of the first round," he said.
Sam saw Eligos smirk at the announcement.
"You may now choose your winnings. Chimes will help you," the moderator added while pointing to a skinny, purple-skinned, reptilian alien seated at small table in a corner next to a large rack of wine kegs.
"Might as well see what we got," Lars said.
"And another drink would be good," Sam said.
"Buy the looks of the other tables," Lars said as they approached the reptile, "we'll have time to size up the final round winners."
"Table number?" the female reptile asked causing numerous golden bangles and tubes hanging from its long, curved dorsal spikes to chime harmoniously.
"Six," Lars said.
"Here’s the list," the alien said in tune to her growing symphony.
It listed each players buy-in as well as its brief description.
The Three Stooges all had various lifetime protection spells of various degrees of specialty.
As Lars eyed Eligos, he said, "Those could come in handy."
Big Blue's buy-in was monetary, an even twenty-five million Confederation credits.
"What's this?" Lars asked pointing to Snake's buy-in as there was no picture and the description only referred to it as a T-ship.
The reptilian shrugged its four shoulders adding complex layers of shimmering notes to its song currently under composition. She then handed Sam a hard copy specification sheet.
"We'll take it," Sam said smiling after reading the specs while listening to the alien's beautiful melody.
The alien checked a box next to the item on her pad.
"Congratulations and no refunds," she said deadpan as its song slowed only slightly. "You can claim your winnings at space dock six," it added, tossing a set of hatch keys to Sam. Her opus quickened to a resounding crescendo in seconds then abruptly ended in a gentle fade to silence.
Sam and Lars applauded, receiving a broad smile from the musician.