Chapter 3
Dawn shelter
A dim light radiates from below the door and once in a while the shadows behind the door, cut it for a short time. I knock the door but no one replies. I knock again, it is ineffectual. Strange sounds can be heard from inside the house and I recline my head on the door to hear this weak tumult better. I take a sand off the ground and knock it hard at the door.
At any moment, rain falls more and more. Suddenly, the tumult, which has filled inside the house, becomes weak and after a short time it stops. After a few seconds it begins again. Then I hear a footsteps which are approaching the door. I keep my distance from the door and hold my knapsack in my hands.
The footsteps stop behind the door and after a few seconds, a wicket on the door is opened insomuch that two blue eyes appears. These are dumb eyes in which the more I probe, the less I find. These big and impudent eyes signify that a man is looking at me behind the door. He stare at me. His eyes, which are seeking for something, explore my face. After a while the wicket is closed.
Each rain drop pricks my body like a needle. I gnash my teeth so that my head begins to quake involuntary. I am sure that if I stay here more, I will be frozen.
Again, I hear the footsteps approaching door. It stops like the first footsteps. Time passes in silence for a few seconds and then a gibberish conversation begins between them. I hear that the first one goes away from the door and the second one opens the door after a while.
I dry the wet on my face to see well. A beam of light radiates from a gap on the door and forces me to close my eyelids a little and use my hand as a sun visor. Rain drops cascades from my hand like a waterfall. I wink my eyelids several times and, through my fingers, I see a man who is looking at me through the opening in the door.
Again, I see the eyes which are brown and immediately survey me from head to toes. He raises one of his eyebrows and shows his distrust of me. I just show him my smile and assure him. The man behind the door opens it after a short pause.
He is a handsome and tall man, he has split his lax hair on the crown of his head and left them on the face. His skin is smooth and youthful. His face is rigid and serious, and his smile is incompatible with his face. The letter “K” on his necklace, in the circle format, looks very pretty. He is clean and has a good appearance. Finally, he breaks his silence and says:
Hello, I’m Karisan.
Then he reaches out his hand and continuous:
Welcome to the “Down” shelter!
I do my best to reach out my hand to him but my hand is stiff as a stick. My body trembles thoroughly, and I can’t even wink.
Hurry up, come in, you are trembling severely.
Then he goes aside to allow me to enter. I can’t believe that I finally have managed. I take a step into the house doubtfully. A warm wave touches my face which irritates my skin a little. I feel a delicious and pleasant smell. No, I can’t believe, finally everything has finished and I have reached to my destiny.
All round the left side is a counter. In front of it, there are the tables with chairs around them. Almost all of the tables, except three or four of them, are occupied. This shelter is crowded more than the last one. The sound of sudden closing of the door by Karisan, cuts the inside tumult. All of the heads turn to our side and look at us. Suddenly, everyone arise and stand. With eyes wide opened and openmouthed, they stare at us and say:
Man alive! It’s raining.
After a while, they rush into the door and windows like the famished, and gaze into outside longingly. The strange tumult begins, everyone tries to push others aside and reach to the windows. Some, bring their hands out of the windows to touch the rain. Happiness can be seen in some faces and some others are amazed.
Can you believe!? It’s raining!
Another one says:
I’d forgotten its figure.
A little girl, while her tongue is tied with excitement, says:
Mam! Is this the same rain you told me?
Young women replies her:
Yes my dear. It is the rain I told you about it. Listen, how beautiful is its sound!
I seize the opportunity and take a step. I go toward a table but stop by the sign of Karisan’s hand. I widen my eyes to show him my protest and ask him the reason, without saying a word. It happens even as I want; Karisan replies to my eyes with a smile and says:
I’m really sorry, but you should first freshen yourself up a little. Taking a shower would be enough. Go to the bathroom and I’ll ask to bring your outfit later.
Then he shows a small room with his finger which it seems has been made newly and is beside the entrance door. He guides me to the bathroom which is in a two-step distance from us. Before I go into it, he blocks my way again and says:
For sure you know the conditions, there isn’t so much water and please economize on it. Since you were under the rain for a rather long time, you had better wash yourself well, and finally, if you have any problem call on me or another doctor.
He waits for my reply but I just give him a negative response with my head shake. He opens the door of bathroom for me and I enter. Before closing the door, he says:
There are all you need in bathroom, but if you need something else pull that bell. Please don’t prolong your washing. My colleague brings your outfit a few minutes later.
Before closing the door, I take the razor and put my knapsack beside the door. He closes the door slowly and his footsteps fades in tumult. I sigh of relief deeply. I look at the outside through a hole on the door but I just can see a limited area. People are trying to get a better situation to see the falling diamond rain drops, and also to hear the melodious sound of their landing on the ground.
I back into the bathroom. The first thing that attracts my eyes is the stains on the mirror. Only small part of it is useable. Yet, it is enough for me. As soon as I see my face in the mirror, I take a backward step in wonder. I can’t believe it is me. I look around carefully to be assured I’m alone there. When I see only myself, I go toward the mirror slowly. I close and then open my eyes. I feel no change, and I’m the same man who is standing in front the mirror.
Finally, after a while, this image becomes normal to me and I accept that this is my face. This time, I realize the alienation of Karisan. I survey myself in the mirror. My eyes are hollowed and a layer of dirt has changed the color of my skin. It is like glue is poured into my hair. The scar on my face has changed my look. It’s a skin deep wound which doesn’t need stitches.
I finish washing when I hear knocking on the door. I open the door and, as Karisan said before, one of his colleagues, with some clothes, appears at the door. On a cart attached on his clothes is written: “Yatilan”. He puts the clothes on a table near the door, without noticing me and says exhaustedly:
Please use the things that you need.
Then he strokes his beard with his hand and goes back. There is a complete set of clothes which, from their appearance, it is apparent they are not so new. I take and hang them on a clothes rack which is half broken and linked to the wall. I can’t endure standing on my feet anymore, so I sit on the floor of the bathroom. All of a sudden I see my feet, it looks like I have walked on the ground full of sharp glass splinters: the new and old wounds; coarse blisters. I don’t know why I feel no pain. They irritate only when water touches them, they burn insomuch I close my eyes and gnash all out my teeth.
I wash my raincoat which is knee high, with small volume of water. It is the only useable clothes that I have. Then I dry myself with a towel from my knapsack. I put my clothes on. I can feel their wear and tear smell easily. I wear my shoes slowly and carefully, take my knapsack and shake it a little and go out of the bathroom after cleaning there.
There are still many people in front of the windows staring at the outside. Others also are looking out of the window, while are sitting on their chairs. By my exit from the bathroom, some of them turn their look toward me. I go to the closest table which is near the window and sit at it.
I feel all of their heavy looks on me. I bow down my head and begin to play with my fingers. I hate to be under the eyes of the others. Although I don’t look at them, I can find out the intention of their looks. Some people look at the newcomers out of curiosity, some with no reason, and some are waiting for someone else and with each arrival their eyes become splendent that maybe find the one who they are looking for. Some may frown and some may only stare and pretend that this is the first time they meet someone else. After a while that seems all of the looks are scattered, I look around leeringly. As I guessed, no one notice me. I raise my head and look around like all of the newcomers. There are some candles on each table, on the edge of the windows, on the counter, and Inside of the wall of the shelter which have led to blacken parts of the ceiling. There are also four lamps attached to the ceiling along the salon fairly far from each other. The glimmer of their light, only can bright one room. A few rods are welded to the ceiling and the wires are passed through them. I follow the course of these wires with my eyes until I reach the room which is on the left side of the counter and near the entrance. A rather noisy clamor comes from this room.
The air is filled with a variety of smells: from the smell of dirt and garbage to the smell of foods which is the strongest. I long for a bowl of soup. Everywhere is swept and the dustbins are empty.
Inside the shelter is different from its outline. There is no sign of stone, wood and plastic inside the house. Conversely, all of the inner walls are made of iron like an equipped war tank. Some iron pillars also are used to support the ceiling. The only places that are not of iron, are the ceiling and floor. Like a green pepper that its appearance may not denotes its taste, the outline of this shelter differs from its inner space.
Some walls are painted completely and some other are half painted. Those parts of the walls which are not painted, are rusted like the doors and seem yellowish. All of the wires which are used to supply the light, are exposed to the eyesight but no one look at them and notice them at all.
There are so many written memorial on the wall which is unknown their writers are still alive or not. There are also many carving on the iron surfaces which some of them are old and some are new. Some of these show the despair of their own writers and some have been written to show the degradation of the world. As far as I can see and read, even one of them have not written about the world in satisfaction.
Behind the counter are the cupboards to the ceiling in which are the glasses, beverages and some plants with big and wide light red leaves. Cupboards are wooden and seem rather black. It is like they have been in use for many years. Nobody is there behind the counter.
In front the counter, there are the tables which I am sitting at one of them. There are four chairs around each table. Like the cupboards, these chairs are wooden and wear out as well.
While playing with my hands, I look at the table which I am sitting at it. Although they had tried to represent them a little new by painting, there are still so many memorial writings and carvings on them. A piece of the table was cut and its surface was pitted like a bumpy road. One of the legs of the table is shorter than the others, so it is acock and slants to the same side that is heavier and wobbles a little. I move a piece of wood which is on the ground with my foot and after playing with it for a while, I put it under the shorter leg of the table. It works successfully; wobbly leg becomes fixed.
All of a sudden, I see a man who has taken his chair away from the table and is sitting in a dark corner, near the fireplace and stared at me. At first sight, I think I have made a mistake, but when I look at him again, he still keeps his eyes on me. He is gazing at me and his breast goes up and down. His face has dissolved in darkness, and I just can see his glassy eyes. I look behind; maybe he is looking at someone who is sitting behind me and is in his eyeshot, but no one is in his view but me. I stop noticing him, and when I look at him again, he is not there anymore. It is like he is combined with darkness.
Two of Karisan’s colleagues go toward the window. Despite people objections, they begin closing windows. Although the windows are made of glass, there is an aluminum window in front of each. These two men are closing the aluminum windows. There is no hole on them and completely block the light from outside. By closing them, inside the shelter becomes just a little dark.
Suddenly I see the shadow of a person on my table. I raise my head slowly and look at his face. A man is standing near me with a food tray; lassitude and weariness have nested in his eyes.
Here you are. Unfortunately we can’t offer you more food than this because of foodstuffs shortage.
He puts the tray on the table and then while is going away from me, points to the door near the fireplace and says:
If you feel sick, call on there to see the doctor.
All of the waiters’ clothing is a long and bright raincoat which covers whole of their bodies, and they also dressed in a simple gray trousers and shirt. I look at the food tray: a bowl of soup and a glass of water. Finally, after three weeks, I can eat a square meal.
Some are talking to each other, some fell asleep on the table, and some lied down on the ground and are in a deep sleep. Their world is summarized in these things. Some other are playing games. Two people are sitting in front each other and playing chess. The chessboard is patched up with some pieces of adhesive tape. It is covered with adhesive tape, but is too old so that its black squares have become white and they are identified by the lines around them. Some of chessmen are lost and instead of them some pieces of lathed wood and stone are in use. Four persons have come together and sat on the floor and playing poker. Playing cards has become white and dingy, and are almost alike. It is hard to read their figures.
The meal smells as usual. I look around with each spoon I bring into my mouth. The condition of the people in the shelter not only is not better than my own, but also is worse. It looks like they have survived through a war or an earthquake. Their faces and clothes have become alike in color. Their clothes are dirty and seem dark. All looks like with each other. Their hair are elflock, disheveled and dirty insomuch that are stuck in bundles. This is just the difference between the forms of men’s and women’s bodies that makes them differentiable. They are like the suburb slummer and homeless people, with this distinction that they are all alike and there is no difference between them. Their clothes are raggedy and patched. Some are dressed in loose or tight clothes, and some have inharmonious dress. Only a few are well-dressed and clean; they are staff of the shelter.
The thing that shows off most are the women whose ratio to the men is less than one to ten. By the approximate counting that I have done, there are 150 persons in ground floor, and assuming the same number in the first floor, which among them are only 60 women. Some of these women worn wimple and some are unveiled.
I don’t know why I was the only one that used the bathroom. Maybe people don’t like bath, or maybe my appearance was worse than I thought. As I put the spoon into my mouth slowly, I hear the sound of dragging a chair on the floor from the behind. I turn and look out of curiosity. Two people are sitting on their chairs. One of them stared at me.
I have a strange feeling. An unknown man whose face is covered by his beard, looks suspiciously at the man who has a dirty and small hat on his head and is sitting near him. Then his look turns toward me. He is challenging with himself with frowned eyebrows and narrowed eyelids. It seems that he wants to tell me something but his face remains calm. An askew smile appears on his lips which are hidden under his beard. He sits and after a while stops looking to my eyes and begin talking with the man next to him. I didn’t find anything from his look, so I turn my eyes away from them.
I think about that man’s mysterious looks. What was the reason for his looks? I try to look at him again to find out something. So I turn my head toward him slowly. They are still talking to each other. He looks around once in a while and shows the environs to the man who put a hat on his head, while speaking. I try to understand what they are talking about, but they talk quietly. These two outsider are now completely close together and talk in whisper. Maybe the man had no specific reason for his look and confused me with someone else. When I feel his ignoring, and that he even doesn’t see me, I completely feel sure that he mistook me for someone else. I forget them altogether and my ears search for another two person. It becomes as I wish and the conversation between two men who are sitting at the table next to me, engages my mind. One of them takes a thoroughly blackened cigarette case out of his pocket and hold a squashed cigarette in front his own face and looks at it while roll it with fingers. Then, with a nervous laugh, he says:
This is it! This is one year by now that I’ve spent with a pack of 20. This is the last one. Imagine! Almost two cigarettes per month. What kind of life we are living!? Why we should get involved in such a misery? This much we were comfort there, but don’t think we had a better condition than here. It was all the same, but there, I had three pack of cigarette instead of one pack.
His friend who has rested his chin on hands, says in reply:
It is true that we were hard pressed for something, but there was our home; and what is more, we haven’t arrived at their main shelter yet. There, we can certainly find a good condition for ourselves.
The first man breathes a sigh and put his cigarette on the table and says:
Something? Say what we had? Nothing! We thought that here would be different, but it wasn’t. Their condition is worse than ours. Although it wasn’t so bad in “Life” shelter, it can’t be considered as a home.
His friend, while is smoking a cigarette, says:
I still don’t know why we left there?
‘It is all talk! Just have a look around yourself. What is the difference between here and there?’ The first man replies.
‘No, it was true. One of my friends who held a good rank, said this. He himself went there before us. And more, are you blind that can’t see so many people here?’
His friend, who has a long hair and bushy beard, takes his look off the table, moves his eyes around as his hands play with the splits of the table, and then lower his head again and says:
All of them were seduced. There wasn’t a serious matter, they just wanted to eject us from there. They couldn’t find any better reason than this.
He put his empty case of cigarette in his pocket and replies:
Don’t be foolish! They don’t eject their people, and what for? For what reason? Maybe to lessen the crowd, ha?
Maybe.
I said, don’t be so foolish. Its news has been spread out everywhere. It is true.
His friend just gives a shrug and says:
By the way, do you know how long has it been since we are in journey?
The man rubs his lips in token of ignorance and says:
How should I know, but I’m sure it’s more than one year! If only I had some tobacco.
His friend smiles, then dislocates himself on the chair and finally lays spread-eagled on it and says:
It is one year and three months since we began our trip. Just we’ve got here. During that, we suffered hardship as long as one hundred years. Now we should start from the beginning. If only we’ve stayed in the “Life” shelter. Everything was ok there, there was no need to come so far at all.
The other man takes his lighter out of his pocket, lights a cigarette and smokes heartily:
No, I should see their main shelter. Maybe we could do something there. There should be a place for us. These shelters are full and the only thing we can do here is to clean the lavatories.
Then, while shaking his lighter, says nervously:
Damn! This lighter has no gas anymore. Now I don’t know how to fill it again.
His friend, while his face assumed a pleadingly figure, says:
Do you know how long it takes to get there? Here are some easy work to do.
The man replies:
It is like you have forgotten we’ve traveled half of the world. You mean we have come so far to clean the lavatory? We deserve better jobs so they should give us a becoming one. If they know our background, they would admit us easily.
Then he stands up and take the last puff at his cigarette:
Enough of that! I am going to see if I can find something to eat. I’m so hungry.
The only thing that I think about during this time is their red eyes. Most of the people here have red eyes, with pretty faces and attractive eyes. When I look at each one of them, I see a specific beauty. All of them have the same attractive eyes. There are also common faces among them. I didn’t think they could come here. Nonetheless, the population will increase suddenly. Water, food and domicile shortage will wage a bloody war. The war in which men may kill each other just for a drop of water.