Chapter 13
Slobbovania, Virtual Reality
“This is really dark and gloomy,” Zona said to John and Mawuli as she looked about in the virtual fantasy world of Slobbovania. The terrain was rocky and devoid of vegetation. The sky was dark with even darker clouds swirling about.
John said, “We’re not in Life Hack Republic anymore,” as he looked up at the dark fantasy world sky, thinking the two virtual worlds couldn’t be any more different.
Mawuli and Zona were dressed in cloaks while John was wearing unarmored European style medieval clothing. Mawuli carried a simple club and Zona had a wand.
They all cowered when a loud screeching noise echoed out of the darkness.
John said, “It seems like there is a steep learning curve to this place. I signed up as a warrior. But do you see me carrying any big weapons or armor?”
Mawuli asked, “You don’t have any weapons?”
“Well,” John admitted, “I do have a dagger. I wonder if we will feel biometric pain when someone or some thing comes along and decides to take us out. What are you people supposed to be?”
Zona said, “I don’t really care. I just want to find Brandon . . . I mean Roxzak. I can’t see how being here in this nasty place can be any fun for these nerds.”
Mawuli said, “Yeah, but it might be important to understand what we are doing so we can survive long enough to find him. It seems like they take some joy in punishing newbies here.”
“That is definitely true,” John said. “I also read where we should not mention anything about Brandon’s real identity to anyone we encounter until we see him. Otherwise, the moderators will come after us.”
“Whatever. I never read that stuff. I’m supposed to be some kind of a wizard, I guess,” Zona said, pushing back her hood. “I can’t do much. But I have some starting money.”
Mawuli said, “I have money as well. It doesn’t seem like much for the amount you have to pay to register into the game. In Life Hack, I could get a small house for that kind of a registration fee.”
Zona looked at Mawuli and said, “Are you a wizard too?”
“No. I couldn’t help but to choose being a cleric, of course. I just thought it would fit me better, although their idea of a religious leader is fairly messed up, I’m sure.”
A steep impassable mountain range funneled the search party into moving in one direction through a pass.
John made the obvious statement, “I guess we better go that way.”
They hiked over the treacherous, but passable terrain through the mountain pass.
Zona said, “I keep wanting to fly, like in LHR. But I feel like I’m wearing concrete boots here.”
John said, “I know, this walking takes time. I wonder what the point of it is.”
Zona shrieked as a giant hairy six-foot long scorpion with bright red eyes leaped out at her from behind a craggy stone column.
“Run!” John shouted.
The scorpion quickly seized Zona around the waist in one of its pincers. She shrieked and totally melted down in panic.
“Wait!” Mawuli screamed. “We have to help her!” He ran toward her and the scorpion giant’s tail lashed out at him before he could wield his club. The sting sent him flopping unconscious to the ground.
John gave a yell and charged at the scorpion, plunging the dagger with an upward motion into its lesser-armored underbelly. He repeatedly and violently thrust the dagger into the scorpion with crunching blows while gooey yellow-green internal scorpion fluids oozed out.
Zona finally gathered her wits and remembered she had the ability to shoot a magical energy blast at the monster. Just as she prepared to unleash the marginal power of the blast, the creature severed her head at the neck with the other pincer.
“No!” John wailed. He was stunned for an instant in disbelief of what he had just witnessed. While he was paralyzed in fear, the indecision enabled the scorpion to make another sting attack which was a direct hit on his chest. He blacked out.
*******
About a half an hour after the code black scenario, the three met back at the stone chapel in Life Hack Republic.
“Man! That was really bad!” John said shaking his head.
“Oh my God!” Zona held her hands on her face and said, “Who in their right mind thinks that is fun?! We just got there and . . . that was so . . . my head was off and I could see the rest of my body! Oh my God! That was so gross; like the worst nightmare! I feel like I want to puke!”
Mawuli said, “I can’t argue with those sentiments, but we are not really hurt and we need to eventually gather our wits and analyze what went wrong and learn from it. Since I was out right away, you’ll have to let me know what happened.”
Zona said, “I know I know; I was too scared to do anything after that . . . thing got me. I have to accept a lot of the blame for our massacre. I know we are supposed to defend ourselves in there. I could gag thinking that is supposed to be fun for anyone.”
John said, “I should have never run away like that. If I would have gotten into the fight sooner, I know we would have taken that thing down before it killed you. I was putting a good hurting on it, but I was too late. Then Mawuli could have used his cleric healing powers to bring our health back some. I will admit that I did enjoy it a little.”
“That was disgusting! I hated everything about it!” Zona said. “Do you think we can really live long enough in the game to ever find Brandon in there?!”
John asked Zona, “You are going back in aren’t you? It’s like any game; it takes awhile to get good at it. It won’t cost us any more money to continue right now.”
“He needs to get out of that room and start living in the real world! I am so tired of this garbage of his! It is totally ridiculous! Why can’t he go out and find a girlfriend or something like a normal guy his age! He might as well be in a nursing home or supermax or something!” She took a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess! We can go back in! I don’t want to keep dying over and over though. Aaag!”
Mawuli said, “So do we go in there with the same character classes and provisions, or should I switch to something with more offensive capability?”
“It probably ain’t gonna matter,” John said. “Let’s just go back in and try to be a little smarter.”