Chapter 23
Slobbovania, Virtual Reality
The three Joes, Mawuli, Zona, and Snotbit descended from the blue Slobbovanian sky and landed in front of a castle surrounded by a fifty foot outer wall. A Joe said, “This is the home of Roxzak.”
“Nice,” Snotbit said with a big smile. It was obvious to the others that he was picturing himself being either the undeserving lord of the manor or the seller on the internet market with a ridiculously large price tag for virtual real estate.
Zona pointed at Snotbit and said, “I don’t see why we need him around anymore.”
“Hey! You crazy . . .”
“We made a deal,” Mawuli said. “We have no reason not to keep it. We may need him right now.”
“That’s right,” Snotbit said pointing at Mawuli, “Listen to the smart man.”
“Who goes there?” Someone said through an opening of the thick gate.”
“We demand to see Bran . . . Roxzak!” Zona said.
“Again,” the snarky nerd sentry voice said, “gimme your names. All I need is a name, okay? Save the trash talk for after I get the names.”
“Zona, Mom of Roxzak!”
“Snotbit the goblin, at his service.”
“Joe,” the objects said.
“Mawuli. We come to talk to Roxzak.”
“About what?”
“Um . . . An opportunity,” Mawuli said.
“Fine,” the sentry said. “No one here got uber-stressed out giving your names, right? Anyways, the answer is no. You may not enter.” Then the portal was shut.
Zona said, “That little . . .” Before she could finish her sentence, the Joes were once again flying over the high walls with their passengers. Then the party landed on the other side at a courtyard. Workers were walking about taking wheat to the mill and flour to the bakery. Chickens freely ran about.
“Intruders!” A swordsman with armor and a shield shouted. Soon the group was surrounded by armored spearmen. Some of them were muttering about the way the Joes looked.
Zona said, “Look punk, you really don’t want to mess with us. I’m dead serious here. You will take us to Roxzak or I promise you, we’ll ruin your whole day.”
“Follow me,” the swordsman said, somewhat impressed with their entry into the castle and demeanor.
John looked at Zona and was nodding approval of her performance. “Nerds appreciate power.”
The group was escorted by the spearmen. They went through some stone passageways and up some stone steps into a great hall. At the end of the hall was an elevated area with a large throne and a smaller seat. On the throne was a large, handsome man, regally dressed. An ornate glowing sword levitated next to his seat of power. The men sat next to a beautiful woman with a formal dress and elaborate heavy makeup. The spearmen kept the tips of their spears very close to the outnumbered visitors as the swordsman introduced them.
Zona said, “You tricked us! This is your king, not Roxzak, now you’re all gonna pay!”
The man on the throne said, “Calm down, lady who says you’re my mother. I am Roxzak. Do I know you?”
“Brandon!”
“What?!” Roxzak said, “No! I thought I could hear your voice yelling in the other room! And these Joe Matrix guys clearly don’t get what it is to be in a fantasy setting. What are you doing in here?! You need to get out!”
“Brandon, I want you to stop playing this game all the time. You are wasting your life. And your health is going to be ruined when you stop eating like you do. Do you want to end up like one of those people who lose their mind over this stuff? It’s not real, Brandon. None of this is real.”
Roxzak sighed, “OMG! I can’t believe you are here saying this stuff! I’m reporting this. I can’t believe you would come here and get into my business the way you are right now.”
“You can believe it, buddy boy! Now get out of this game, or I’ll . . .”
“You know what, Mom? Look around here. Why would I give all this up just to be another regular loser? I’ve got friends here and a good life. This is a much better life. I wish I would never leave. So just quit calling me ‘Brandon’ and leave.”
Snotbit started chuckling.
“Shut up!” Zona said to him.
“Okay,” Zona said, “I get that you are in some kind of bliss in this VR world, but here’s, the deal; If you don’t leave right now and start spending more time in physical reality, we are going to . . . kill your character.”
“You’re what?! Ha! You could try!”
Zona pointed at him, “You heard me. We are going to . . . take you out. That’s right. We are gonna waste your avatar.”
The woman avatar sitting next to Roxzak looked down upon Zona and said, “Why can’t you just leave? He said he doesn’t want you here.”
“Eat my zap, hussy!” Zona revealed her magical wand and fired a magical energy bolt at the woman, striking her in the face. The woman screamed and fell to the floor, writhing in pain.
The Joes vanished. The others looked at each other, knowing their fate was sealed. Roxzak’s spearmen ran their weapons through each of the avatars in the group, once again exiting them from Slobbovania.