A Distant World
The city of glass buildings reflected orange and purple clouds splattered across a vivid blue, paling to the horizon. The nuances shone on the walls and bright surface, windows and steel, becoming liquid. There was something majestic and menacing about the way the buildings rose to the height of an immensity of moving clouds, an upside down ocean, a tide above the earth, watching people's lives... so insignificant, so rapidly changing from one second to another... so many seconds and yet so irrelevant and so important at the same time, each and every fraction of that passing landscape. There was something in the uniqueness and grandeur of the view, the precious moment seemingly random but immemorial, eternal.
Heruvim knew he was there to find freedom. He also knew he was free beyond the circumstances of time and place. There was an undeniable certainty he had that something essentially more important hidden above the routine, the race, the endless running from here to there, from achieving to planning and achieving again, building and thinking, rising and being. There was something that stood above the city, over the floating clouds. There was a truth. The truth was infinite and it made him free – as free as eternity. He knew he had fought for freedom in the past, in immemorial times. He also knew he had many names and had experienced many sides of existence, in many lives, in many worlds.
Watching the sky and the buildings pointing up made him remember that awareness. There had been many buildings, many fights and many moments of wondering about the meaning of everything. He knew he was a part of something that was hiding in the immensity of the upside down ocean: he knew he was as eternal as the vast night sky.
Sometimes everything seemed liquid: the horizon, the heat in the air, the surface of buildings and the colors changing around. Sometimes another image appeared, transparent, overlapping the view: blue ripples flowing to a round colorful gate painted on a wall, with shiny pieces of glass. The turquoise liquid from a fountain he seemed to remember but not able to pin it down to the exact place and time kept appearing everywhere, rising calmly, with certainty and power. “Water is everything”, he thought. “Water is perfect: so translucent, so smooth... reflecting, flowing freely. Such a great force, infinite and mysterious. Everything flows invisibly, more or less dense. Everything aspires to be like water.” He couldn't say what the colorful fountain represented and how the image rose from the fog of oblivion, from another life. Yet the image appeared around insistently: on a painting, on a wall.
He saw this image as a flash of a truth he didn't know where to place. He was sure the colorful rainbow fountain that resembled a gate with splashing branches, a round octopus or a circle surrounded by flames was something that he had seen in an undefined past. And sometimes, more often than not, when he didn't keep his thoughts on the present moment, he sensed as if something was missing. Something, or someone was absent from the surroundings, from that timeframe, from that elusive construction of circumstance. Sometimes he had dreams of a boat and a woman dressed in a long robe, standing at the edge of the boat. It was an ancient boat, with sails and the unusual shape of a cone. The dream was of the boat floating on a colorful greenish-purple flow of waves, slowly getting lost in a mist. He wanted to stop the boat, but he couldn't. It was as if it became so important to prevent the boat from disappearing with the person who presumably meant something to him. Whenever he woke up he had that sense of loss and absence. Looking around, there was the impression of unfamiliar and distance to somewhere else he belonged. There was also the temporary lack of freedom that wouldn't let him find what was missing.
The circle with colorful flames, however, was an image he recognized from the depths of his uncharted memories - he imagined it was from another life. He had yet to discover exactly where he had seen it. The sand was connected to it somehow. He could recall his bare feet walking under the sun, through the soft, warm or heated soft powder. The scratchy dusty pieces of broken shells sometimes remained stuck to his skin, wet from foamy waves. That sand was inexistent in the world of glass buildings. The beaches didn't have it anymore. For centuries, it had been used to make the glass world that covered the planet. Heruvim had the image of walking on a beach, in a warm climate, in a summer breeze, a place and time that were no longer there. He recalled the certainty of freedom and infinity from the soft sand, the endless horizon and the absence of ties and chains, either invisible or visible. That life was possible and it was somewhere in the back of his mind. He longed for it and he longed for the sand.
In that world made of glass and metal, dark clouds and sharp devastating currents, the peace and serenity of that beach with soft sand and blue sky were just a dream. The dark shady thoughts of a grim future overwhelmed many people. The lack of freedom and the crowded objects of glass and black metal, the huge menacing buildings that covered the sky made an implacable landscape of doom.
The only place where sand was still present were the relaxation salons.
He was constantly distracted by the images from his mind: the colorful circle, the warm sand, the woman in the boat. He knew with intense certainty that those were missing pieces of a puzzle without answer and without balance, the riddle of his present life in a dark place and time that wasn't entirely right, that just didn't mean enough in itself. He knew reality was just another piece of a bigger picture, of a higher truth. Being a prisoner of that world was another instance that had happened before: his hands tied as a slave long ago. He had risen above it then. He had to rise above it again.
The small salon was hidden in the underground of a big luxury building with business offices, hotel rooms, restaurants and conference rooms. The selected clients of the salon were important people with resources and influence. He didn't have that position, but he had determination to find the sand that was missing – and with it, the answers, the balance, the freedom and brightness of life.
The spiral staircase made of brown marble smelled of burned resin, pine incense and aromatic oil. The glass doors revealed in a soft light the reception of a cozy room, with pastel beige walls and a clock made of wooden sticks. The girl behind the reception desk had a friendly smile. Heruvim immediately felt at home in that room, in her presence.
“Are you here for the massage session?” she asked.
Her eyes shone through the semi-obscure room, glistening mysteriously, as if she knew who he was. He looked at the badge on her collar, letters that spelled a name: Serafima. Whose name was it? He had that unusual impression that everything had a meaning in that underground salon.
“Actually, I'm here looking for the sand.”
“Oh yes, the sand”, she agreed, adding:“It became such a rarity after the plastic era ended.”
“I know, right... Everything turns to glass nowadays. I was hoping I could find some sand here.”
“Of course. We've got some sand for you here”, she smiled gracefully. And she handed him a magnetic bracelet for the door to the other side.
Beyond the dark doors there were two massage rooms and a hall. Walking ahead he entered a bigger room with some sand scattered by the swimming pool. A layer of soft powder covered the edge of the marble, imitating the dunes of a beach. In the dim light it seemed to take golden shades. Heruvim noticed something else: the wall behind the turquoise blue water was decorated with pieces of colorful stones and glass, creating the image of a big circle with branches that resembled flames. It was the same image that kept appearing in his mind, as a memory.
Walking through the soft sand with his bare feet recalled the heat and salt of waves, as if his skin had that experience previously hidden in its texture. It erased the reality of the clouded hours of the cold world above. Heruvim worked as a guard to the gates of a huge mall. Every day the mall had discounts between certain hours – and then, the crowd of people swarmed in, making an inferno of eagerness to grab something as a prize. He didn't like the mob. Gathered together, the people became an irrational, hungry, unpredictable and ruthless force. There was something primitive about that greed, something primordial that Heruvim disapproved of completely. The crowd was dominated by fear, eagerness, ambition and selfish instincts. The tunnel vision behavior was typical of those hours. They could walk all over each other and they wouldn't care. Standing in the rain, watching them push each other to get to the gates was exhausting. He knew what crowds people were capable of. He had seen their dark hatred, their destructive irrational anger, their competitive selfish nature. He had seen them, in immemorial times, with swords and knives, with torches and ropes. The darkness of the mad crowd, the primitive instinctive hunt, those were traits that should have been erased by centuries of time running like a river over stones. And yet that unresolved evil was still there, rising to the surface, lurking beneath the metal and the glass, deep within the prying eyes and hungry souls. The emptiness was engulfing the fight between day and night. It was an endless confrontation. It could be smelled in the cold damp air, as the cranes were rising to the sky, building more metal and glass over metal, infinite towers in a world full of shiny black walls. “People disintegrate the elements, so the elements will eventually disintegrate the world...” It was an involuntary thought that Heruvim took as a natural conclusion.
There, by the shiny clear water of the pool, he wanted to forget about the distant world above. Somehow, it seemed the true reality of life was that of the water and the sand, of the resin fragrance, the soft lamps and the circle of colorful flames. It was a timeless place.
The girl at the desk was no longer there when he went out. Instead, there was another girl who kept her distance and didn't seem any different from random people in the street.
He returned to the surface, walking away in a scenery of grey dull clouds, cold humid air and unanswered questions.
The next day, however, he came back to the salon with sand, massage rooms and swimming pool. Serafima was there again, but not at the entrance: she was in the water. He recognized her from her sparkling eyes and bright smile: a warm light that changed the atmosphere. Her hair was hidden under a pink swimming cap and her figure in the water shone from her silvery white swimming suit. She was instructing a group of women to do water gymnastics. Heruvim swam past them and around them, curiously watching their movements in the transparent water. “A swimming instructor”, he thought. He hadn't seen one before – someone who spent most time in the water as a main occupation. “A water creature...” Her gestures were graceful and decisive, anticipating a dance that had a meaning beyond the splashing water.
After the gymnastics class was over, Serafima went diving under the clear turquoise waves, disappearing for a moment from sight. The swimming pool seemed suddenly empty. Heruvim looked around for her: she resurfaced near the colorful stones and pieces of glass that made a circle on the wall. He swam towards her.
“Have you found the sand?” she asked when he reached her side. “There is some by the edge of the pool.”
“There's more. I can show you.”
And she disappeared under the water again. He looked at the transparent liquid, watching her push the stones at the bottom of the colorful circle. The wall moved and the circle turned around, opening to a passage underwater: it was a revolving door. Serafima was submerged beneath it, crossing to the other side. He took a breath and plunged in, following her through the passage.
Coming out on the other side he found a room with a horizon. Its walls were invisible. It looked like a beach and the sand was more than a strand along the water. It was spreading everywhere: a peaceful beach from a turquoise sea. The sea came from the glass wall that reflected the horizon. There were actually waves and the seagulls flying in a clear blue sky. Serafima swam to the shore and took off her cap, shaking her head. Her hair shone in the light of a bright sun. Watching her on that beach was something he knew he had seen before – just as he had memories of other moments and unexplained flashes of visions. She lay on the sand, closing her eyes, letting the sun warm her wet skin. He came to lie down next to her, breathing the salty air of resin and seaweeds.
“Is this beach real?” he asked her, looking at the clear blue sky.
Outside, the sky was never completely clear: there were endless dark clouds traveling in the sharp cold wind, moving in the dim light of a pale sun, over the black shiny buildings reflecting the streets. The smog diminished the colors of the world.
“During the plastic era, when the oceans and the seas were drowned and flooded in garbage, most luxury hotels created these underground clean beaches. Half of what you see is real, half is made of holograms, to give the impression of infinity. It's actually a confined space, but it looks like a free horizon.”
“A magnificent illusion. It's better than the world above.” Serafima smiled to herself.
“Well, the world above is cloaked in darkness. The truth is that everything is reversed: what is up should be down and what is down should be up. The pyramid is standing upside down.”
Heruvim didn't know why she had an answer to everything.
“How come you know so much?” he asked her, looking at her stretched body on the sand.
That image evoked something in his mind. It stirred something in his soul, awakening an awareness of a higher truth and a sense of belonging.
She opened her eyes to look at him. The intensity of light in her stare was as clear as the peaceful beach.
“It's just the way it is. I've always known these things. I guess I have that gift of perception.”
“Can you explain the dichotomy? I've been trying to find an explanation for it and still I can't wrap my mind around it. Why the evil, the suffering, the struggle? Why the darkness? “
“It's just experiences. If you only had comfortable situations, you wouldn't learn anything. The confrontation brings progress. It's a spiral.”
Heruvim sighed, looking at the peaceful sky.
“I don't think there's much progress. I can recall I've been watching people for centuries – and they're still primitive, superstitious, selfish, ignorant, competitive... they're still a mixture of light and darkness, more darkness than light nowadays.”
“What you see is just a temporary set of circumstances. What is beyond it is much more powerful. People are dense and they don't understand much of the invisible. However, when they cross to another dimension, they open their eyes to the truth.”
Serafima stood up.
“Let's walk along the waves.”
Heruvim had another vision that they had walked together on a beach, somewhere long ago, in a place of hot sand and infinite horizon.
*
The city seemed more beautiful at night than by day. The glass and metal buildings were full of colorful lights, reflecting, glimmering like water and the streets glistened from lamps and neon signs.
The bay where the ocean ended and started was as dark and sparkly at the same time, just as the city: deep black water with flowing colorful flashes. The port had no ships, but it was a landing and talking off site for space ships and other flying vehicles with huge propellers. The water engine that filtered the ocean for the city pipes roared in the night. The turbine made an endless sound, echoing in the glass and metal buildings. The spiral tower in the middle of the town, rising like a cone to the sky, was opaque and dull during the day, under the thick clouds, but it became a spiral of light in the dark of the night, pointing up with rays of translucent glow.
Heruvim thought even the night and day were upside down: the world appeared darker during the clouded day and brighter in the night full of electric lights. He invited Serafima to join him on a night flight. The flying devices for people were preferred against other ground vehicles with wheels.
“Look”, Serafima said, as they were standing on top of the tower, watching over the city. “Everything we see will dissipate and turn to dust.”
“How do you know?”
“It's just the consequence of our actions. Not just you and I personally, but the entire human race. It's the way things evolve from one another: it's easier to see the outcome and anticipate.“
“Are you sure it will happen like this?”
“ It would be too much to be completely certain. But look at this world: something heavy is dragging it down.”
“What?”
“Human nature or the way things are.”
They remained silent, watching the blinking lights in the night.
Heruvim thought the perspective of the future was a mixture of danger and uncertainty, but the past was just as foggy. Sometimes, he remembered things from other times and existence. He was certain he had lived and seen other places, other circumstances, other names and faces: and yet, the struggle was the same each time, for finding the truth about life, the eternal happiness, the revelation of infinity. He felt they remained floating pieces of light and dark, on a turmoil river of changing energy. Water was the mystery, the eraser and the keeper of secrets. Everything flowed like water. Life came from water and remembered only what the water knew. Memories were forgotten with the water flow, gained strength and appeared with water, then slipped again through time like liquid.
“Do you remember your past lives?” he suddenly asked Serafima.
She didn't seem surprised by his question. She nodded thoughtfully, as if glancing away in a distance of the mind.
“I do, actually. I remember bits and pieces of many situations and other centuries. I remember I did similar things, had vision of moments or encountered the same people.”
“I think you and I met before. I'm sure we walked on a beach together.” She smiled, easily continuing the story:
“You were a king and you only wanted to conquer more and more. You didn't care about how I felt, so I left you and your kingdom.”
“No, I was a slave and I fought for freedom. I wasn't a king and I didn't want to conquer any land. I only wanted a peaceful life by the sea. You didn't want to come with me when you had the chance. You preferred serving a temple instead.”
“That was after you were so arrogant and angry, as a king. You lost me and your royal privilege and you had to earn it back by fighting for others.”
“How do you know that?”
“I don't know, but we get inspiration from the source – the power of the universe, the light, the supreme consciousness, the divine, whatever you want to call it. We go from one life to another according to how we act: the universe seeks balance. Whatever gets out of balance brings a consequence that is inevitably a response that should restore balance. It's just an explanation for these different experiences that we have in our memory. Things evolve from one another. It's action and consequence that lead to results and more consequences after that – and more actions and reactions. We move through lives and levels in spirals.”
“That's sounds interesting. I agree with having balance. But what if I'm out of balance because I can't find you? Is it destiny that we must meet but aren't meant to be together?”
“There's no destiny. It's what you are and what you do. It's what you want to be. It's what you choose. And you already found me. The question is: what do you really seek? What do you miss? Isn't it something that you are, that won't let you find peace?”
“I am peaceful now. “
He looked at her and his eyes shone intensely in the dark. She was barely a stranger, yet he already knew her so well – and she seemed to already know many answers to his questions. It was undeniable to him there was some truth to having met before. There was also something deep inside her, a surreal force that made her glow like a firefly in the night. He wondered about the hidden powers and the invisible unexplained abilities they could have, that transcended the material world.
“Maybe humans are going to become something more than a mixture of flesh and dreams?”
“We are more than humans. Look around you. Look inside your mind. What do you see? The surface is deceiving. Appearances have deeper meanings. Some see it sooner, some later – however, the light is as it is.”
“If we have free will, why did you always choose something else instead of being with me? Why were the circumstances against us each time?”
Serafima looked ahead, into the lights.
“Maybe we had to learn something more important. Maybe we wouldn't be together here and now, if we didn't get to who we are today.”
“And now what? What happens next?”
She turned to look at him and her eyes were steadily bright yet unrevealing. “What do you think will happen? ”
“Are you going to stay?”
“I'm staying now. I'm staying forever. We are eternal anyway... you can't really lose me. In this universe, you will always find me.”
“What if we forget everything in between these episodes of intermittent existence? If we don't remember each other in the next life, how will you know it's me? And how will I recognize you?”
“It's inevitable. You will understand it's me because I will know much better than others who you really are. And I'll recognize you because you're the one who never gives up on our story.”
“Is this a story?”
“It is, isn't it? It's been a story since the beginning of time – and will continue until the end of it.”