Dinner was a bowl of tomato soup, saltines and a cup of cottage cheese. Normally, I wouldn’t eat cottage cheese but I was so hungry for real food, I ate half of it. I was just finishing the cup when Corwin and Merlin entered with several packages wrapped in bright Christmas paper and laid them at my feet atop the covers. I pushed the tray back.
“What’s this?”
“Late birthday present, Rave. Open them.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. I tore the paper and tossed it towards the rubbish bin, opened up boxes from high end stores. New jeans, underwear, sneakers and boots. T-shirts, and dress shirts. Polos and Abercrombie and Fitch hoodies. I wouldn’t be walking out of here naked or in my old recycles. A tablet and a mini laptop, a smart phone and a wallet with both ID and credit cards. I was speechless. The ID said Raven Sines-Merle and I had an address in San Francisco near the Hill.
“It’s a real place, “ Corwin shrugged. “Bill bought it for me when I lived here back in the 80s and has managed it since. You can stay there or in Amber.”
“Will I be safe there?” I was troubled.
“As safe as you’d be in Amber,” he shrugged. “Any one of us can go anywhere, get in almost any place via the Trumps. Remember I showed you the cards? The Tower, the Pattern, the Lighthouse of Cabra, Dworkin’s study? Those are all real places the cards can take you to. Such is the power once you walk the Pattern.” He stared at me. “Do you want to walk the Pattern, Raven?”
I hesitated. Looked at Merlin. He watched me as carefully as his father. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “The unicorn wouldn’t let me. I don’t know if I’m more Amber or Courts. All I know is that if I choose, I have to walk either all the way or perish.” I looked at my grandfather. “You walked the Pattern, what can you tell me?”
“I’ve walked it many times and in Rebma, too. It never becomes easier, each time it’s a test of courage and endurance. But to live without its power is worse.”
“And your pattern?” I hesitated and said the more formal word. “Father. What is yours like?”
“It is called the Logus and I suspect it is the...Big Bang that created everything, even Amber. I believe Amber is the Shadow of the Courts at the other end of the road. It’s a...strange place, physical rules don’t work there. Do you want to see it?”
I looked at Corwin and felt tugged in both directions, felt the touch of a cold horn poke me on the shoulder but that was impossible because I was in bed and only a mattress behind me.
“Both,” I whispered, my eyes wide and unseeing. “I must travel both.”
Merlin shook his head. “You can’t. It would be like mixing matter and anti-matter. It’d destroy everything around you. And probably the Universe.” He looked troubled. “Besides, I’m not sure the governing infrastructure of the Courts would allow you to. My world is not a...comfortable place. My mother schemed and murdered from my very conception to put me on the throne and even attempted to...brainwash me as her puppet. My half-brother whom I held as a close friend and confederate was complicit in the same scheme.”
Gramps named him and showed me the trump. He was wild looking with long white hair, pointed chin, freakishly long fingers with silver balls playing between all ten digits. Dressed all in black velvet, he looked wizardly and weirding. I wouldn’t like to meet him in a dark place. “Scary,” I said, pushing the card back.
“I thought he was my friend,” Merlin grimaced. “But he was just another one of Mom’s obstacles to me finding out I was a pawn. No, the Courts isn’t the place for you. At least, not until you have power of your own to protect you. You know Murphy can never enter there, it would destroy him in an instant.” He paused. “I talked to Dr. Alban, on Wednesday, they are going to take you to surgery and close you up. Once they do that, you’ll be home a day or two later.”
“Home to the apartment?”
“It’s a house, actually,” Corwin said. “Gated and guarded by a security service for the rich and famous. Raven, do you have any self defense skills? Did Murphy teach you how to protect yourself?”
“Like Karate or Kung-fu?” I asked. “No. I didn’t need to, he was always with me and besides, we ran. I did some of that Parkour. He was good at that, especially in his gargoyle form. I could keep up with him.”
“That’s something,” Corwin admitted. “Gargoyles are experts on climbing buildings. Do you know how your mother conjured him? Was she a witch or wizard?”
“She was a student,” I said flatly. “An American student of Irish Mythology.”
Corwin handed me one last box, a beautifully made wooden chest that had the unmistakable patina of age, a genuine antique. I knew instantly what it was from the light and dark squares on the cover. When I opened the lid, an exotic wood glowed dark amber and the other suit was carved of genuine amber stone. The faces of the Kings and Queens looked like real people as did all the others. The pawns wore the livery of the castle. I knew that the set was worth a fortune and was probably a state relic and a family heirloom. I lifted shocked eyes to my grandfather. “I can’t accept this,” I stuttered. “It’s way too valuable!”
“It is mine to give,” Corwin shrugged. “And I want you to have it. How about a game?”
Speechless, I nodded and we spent the next few hours playing with Merlin egging me on, both of them making bold, aggressive moves where he wasn’t afraid to risk all for a foothold.
One minute I was contemplating a check move and the next, someone was tucking my blanket under my chin. I rolled over in bed and hugged my pillow, gently drawing my knees up into my belly. I slept like a shrimp, closed and defensive.
I didn’t see either of them leave. Around two a.m., I heard the door open and a nurse slipped into my room. I rolled over and watched as she checked out the board with my name on it, read my chart and vitals. She wore plain blue scrubs not Christmas ones, her hair was dark and I saw the gleam of her eyes in the darkened room. They were odd, strange and it took me a while to figure out it was because they were predator yellow.
“Raven,” she spoke in a low voice and came over to stand next to my bed. She intimidated me without any effort. Tall, handsome and older with a cold sheen to her face as if she were more Goddess than human. I didn’t recognize her from any of the hospital shifts and thought she was perhaps from one of the other units or floors. Her name tag was missing from her lanyard.
“What do you want?” I asked sleepily. I’d already had my blood and vitals taken, pain meds given and urine bag emptied.
“Just came in to see you, Raven,” she said and laid a hand on my chest. “Came to see my grandson, my handiwork.” Instantly, I felt something slither over my skin, travel up to my nose and mouth, worm its way inside my ears, eyes, nostrils and down my throat. I couldn’t gag or spit, it felt as if fingers of ice wrapped themselves around my heart and guts. My tongue froze, my lungs squeezed, taking away my conscious and unconscious control.
“Raven, do you hear me?” she asked and I could nod. “Do you understand me?” Again, I could only nod my understanding. “Good. I am your Grandmother. Dara, Queen Mother of the Courts of Chaos. What you feel is the power of the Logus that I command. I have put a Summoning Spell on you. You will act like your normal self but you will obey only my commands. You will not speak of this to anyone, not your...father, grandfather, morph, human friends or Amber residents, enemies or kin to what has occurred. Only to me will you converse with in regards to this matter. You will walk the Pattern when you are able and bring your knowledge to me. You will make every attempt to understand the Ghostwheel and how to destroy or subjugate the device to my control. When I command it so, you will murder Corwin and Merlin, Random and Vialle and anyone else who stands in your way. You will not attempt to destroy yourself or seek death to avoid these commands.”
I struggled to move, to breathe but whatever she had done to me had given her control of my body and will. Spots hovered at the edge of my vision as the lack of oxygen shut down my level of awareness. She waved her hand and air rushed into my lungs.
I could see a phantom form around her, the top of her remained a queenly woman, the bottom half was that of a monster akin to a Minotaur. Her cloven hooves danced a frenetic tattoo on the tiled floor leaving the scent of brimstone.
A real nurse entered, saw me and glanced curiously at her and then shouted as she observed my stiff, frozen state. By the time she had brought others into my room, Dara was gone and I was rushed into a Trauma Suite examined by confused doctors.
Morning came and whatever she had done to me had worn off so that I could move, speak and swallow. I just couldn’t say or write what had happened. The strange constriction was still in my mind and insides. The doctors had me set up for a whole new round of tests and I spent the entire day in one lab or another. My medical records were growing to the size of the New York phone-book.
Breakfast came and went. Lunch and dinner too, I saw neither of my family before 9 p.m. Our chess game sat where we’d left off and I had no interest in continuing. It’s hard to play a game when you know you’re just a pawn. When Corwin and Merlin finally were able to see me, their first concern was for my state of health.
“What happened?” they demanded. I shrugged.
“Don’t know. Some kind of spell early this morning.” It had left me exhausted and all I wanted was to sleep. “I’m really tired. Mind if I just go to sleep?” My eyes were closing even as I asked.
“No game?” he asked.
“No, bro. Maybe tomorrow. Too wasted.” I rolled over and winced as my heart felt a cold chill. Quietly, I heard them leave but not before Merlin suggested arranging for a bodyguard outside my room.
“Raven,” he called from the door. “Tomorrow is your surgery day,” my father reminded. “Try to get some rest. We’ll be here early to see you off to the OR.”
“Sure. Right. Okay,” I mumbled. “Whatever. See you, morning.” I shut out all the memories and went walking the road in my mind to a better place. My hand was in a woman’s and I thought it might be Mom’s.