Hands rolled me, cleaned me when I could no longer control my bodily functions. The two men who claimed to be my father and grand-sire brought doctors, healers and witches to treat me. I refused to eat and when they forced food down me, I vomited it. The acid burned my throat, nose and even irritated my eyes. Of course, I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I was just so sick that nothing stayed down and no matter what they did, nothing helped. I should have died thrice and finally realized that one or all of them had put a Death Abeyance spell on me. I hovered between life and death, unable to pass but not strong enough to fight to recover.
His doctor friend along with the demon wheel called Ghost had imported many queer items from other shadows. Mainly from a place called Loma Linda. I breathed oxygen through a nasal cannula, a blood pressure machine recorded my vitals every 15 minutes yet wasn’t plugged into anything, it ran on magic.
When the doctor wanted pictures of my insides, he had Ghost scan me with X-rays and put the images up on a blank space on the wall. I could still hear and smell things, but my eyes didn’t work well anymore. As I looked at something, it was as if I was peering through a distorted window that leached the colors out of everything and shimmered---a vibration that made me queasy if I stared too long. If someone asked me how I felt, my answer was always the same---I was dying, please let me go.
The Master came to see me and he was not happy. He told me that I needed to eat or he would beat me. I laughed sarcastically and said I was dying anyway so if he beat me, he would be doing me a favor by sending me to hell quicker than this lingering misery. He said I wasn’t allowed to die, I still had my task to finish.
“But I killed General Gracchus,” I pointed out amazed that I had balls enough to back-talk him. “If you want me to kidnap the Queen, I need help. I know you told me not to get killed or be captured, but I was not as good a swordsman as the king.”
“No one is as good as Random,” he agreed. “If you fought him and survived, I am proud of you.”
“But he killed me, Master. One of them conjured the Death Abeyance spell on me.” I paused. “Master, you said you are proud of me?” I sobbed. “You have never told me that, never praised me, Master. Are you real or am I imagining you?”
“Shall I beat you with the Kiss of Death, my Blackbird so you know reality?” he asked softly.
“Master, to end this, I would gladly bare my back to your lash,” I returned drearily. “This existence is beyond my ability to endure. I beg you, let me go to my death and let me rest. Do not bring me back again.”
“I need you, my Blackbird. Remember, I own your soul. You do not have my leave to die. Not until you have completed your mission. So get up off your skinny ass and recover or I will come down to the plains of hell and drag your bones back!” he shouted in my face.
“Yes, Master,” I cowered and obeyed for I was his slave and could do no less than he bid.
***
Sunlight was pouring through the windows and fell upon my face. Gentle rays that warmed me, helped dispel the cold in my heart and bones. I moved feebly and looked around this room where I lay. It was not hell or a dungeon’s cell but a circular room filled with books, plants and strange equipment gathered around me. A tent of see-through material was covering my face and chest, a slight hiss was in the background, oxygen as the doctor had told me before. I coughed and it felt as if my lungs were tearing apart, as if gravel was inside instead of air. I was terribly thirsty and hungry. Two armchairs were situated next to my bed although both were presently empty save for papers in one and an open spine book in the other.
“Hullo?” I called and my voice sounded like a croaking toad. “Anyone here? Master? Steen?” This didn’t look like the Master’s retreat but I was not allowed in certain parts of his manse so it could be a room I had not been in before.
Footsteps sounded in a hurried patter as if several bodies were running up stairs. The door flew open and a pretty girl ran in followed by the two men, father and son, Ghostwheel, the doctor and a whole crowd of other people until the room was so full I couldn’t see the walls.
“You’re awake!” the girl cried, tears in her eyes. “His eyes are yellow, look!”
“Amber,” Merlin smiled. “Welcome back, Raven.”
“The Master,” I said, staring through the crowd for him. “Where is the Master?”
Merlin came forward and removed the tent from my face. “He was never here, Raven. You were hallucinating so I changed my form and pretended to be him so you would fight to live.”
“It was you?” I knew the Master would never tell me he was proud of me. “How did you know what he looks like or would say to me?”
“You provided the dialogue, Raven. I was just the prop dummy. You told us what he plans and how you would do it.”
“No,” I breathed, terrified that the Master would find out.
“You’re safe here, son. No one but Random, Corwin or myself can enter the Lighthouse of Cabra. Here, you can recover, rest and re-learn who you were. He can’t touch you here. I swear on the Unicorn.”
“You don’t know the Master,” I despaired.
“Ah, but I do. I know Lucian Webster. He comes from the shadow where you were born only I knew him as Luke. Once, he was a friend before he decided he wanted to be a wizard and world maker. Tell me, did you ever meet a tall man, white-haired and white skin, favors black clothes and plays with silver balls that explode?”
“That is the demon that took me,” I shivered. “To a place that was cold and dim, he killed me there and brought me back, sold me to the Master. He tortured me until I broke.” I raised weary eyes to his face. “I tried to hold out, I swear but he took my soul, my hopes and dreams and destroyed them all.”
“He is my half-brother, Mandor,” Merlin snarled dangerously, his jaw clenching. “I will purge the Courts of conspirators and those that dared to harm my son.” He turned to Corwin. “Dad, watch him?” At Corwin’s nod, he was gone in a fusillade of sparks, his anger so violent that it exploded off him as he disappeared.