Finally the day came when I could stand on my own two feet and do my own care like pee without having to go in a bedpan or have someone wipe my ass. I wanted to climb down the spiral staircase of the lighthouse and check out the other rooms. They, being Corwin, the doctor and Murphy, would not let me walk that far.
Stubbornly, I insisted and managed to descend one whole floor. Wasn’t sure it was worth it, there was just another empty room with a shitload of leftover crap piled inside. I made a goal with myself that by the end of the week I would walk down the entire six flights and by the end of next month, climb all six stairs.
After one floor, I had to sit down and rest on the first step back, my head pounded in tandem with my heart, banging away as if it were a marching band. I was dizzy and sweaty and the look on my face dared any of them to say ‘I told you so’. My chest and side ached, too. When I lifted my pajama top, I could see the ugly puckered scars where Corwin and Random’s blades had punctured me. The chest wound was just to the right of my nipple.
Murphy touched the lash marks on my belly and his face turned to stone, his eyes gleamed red. He looked like a demon.
“Did you find the Hell Hounds?” I asked out of the blue.
“What hell hounds?” he questioned, his fangs growing as he morphed into his gargoyle form.
“The Master sent a pack to make sure I did my job, came back and to report to him,” I said.
“They’re still in Amber?” His tone was sharp.
I shrugged. “I dunno. I can’t sense them from here and I’m not certain they can’t tell where I am. Only, if they could, surely they would be here with me.”
“Are they your bodyguards?”
I snorted derisively. “Not hardly. They’ll rip me to pieces for failing the Master. When he comes to take me, I’ll try to kill myself first. If you are the friend you say you are, take off my head. He can’t bring me back if my head is gone.”
He stared at me and his stone face flashed from demon to human as emotions chased the change. “Raven, what has he done to you that death is an alternative to capture?” He was aghast and tried to hug me. I endured his touch but found no comfort in it.
“None of you understand!” I shouted. “I told you! He killed me and stole my soul! What is left is only a shell that belongs to the Master. When he comes, I will crawl back to him, I have no other choice.”
The gargoyle only stared at me and then asked if I wanted to go out on the beach for a walk before lunch. Wearily, I told him I didn’t much care what he did and as for me, I was amenable to anything because basically, I had no say in anything. So that’s why we were strolling down a deserted beach on a narrow strip of sand and rocks watching the surf come in. I’d walk a few hundred feet and Murphy would shove the wheelchair under my ass when my legs would start to tremble. Needless to say, we didn’t get far.
“Raven, would you like to fly?” he asked and I stared at him, non-plussed.
“What?”
“Fly. Like we used to when you were little,” his eyes were very light and glowing.
“Away from here?” This sounded interesting, almost fun. “Yes. What do I have to do? Is it a spell?”
He wrapped his arms around me and morphed completely into his winged gargoyle form. With one swift, powerful leap, he was airborne, my weight a negligible afterthought. I wrapped my legs around his as those massive leathery wings stroked rapidly. He banked and I looked down at a toy sized lighthouse. I could feel my face stretching in an ‘O’ of wonder as he spiraled higher until all I could decipher was the sea and the land.
It was exhilarating and to my disappointment, over too soon as the rhythmic beat of his wings and my recent exercise combined to make me sleepy. My eyes closed when I so wanted them to remain open. I was halfway between slumber in that state called twilight sleep when he landed with a grunt on the top balcony of the lighthouse. He grasped the railing that circled the entire structure with his feet and climbed onto the solid grates of the flooring. The light was lit, a huge thing powered by magic and illuminated an enormous blaze throughout all nearby shadows.
“What’s it for?” I asked him and he stared at me in surprise.
“You know what a lighthouse is for!”
“I do, Murphy, but if this is a closed shadow then why the need for a light here? No one can see it,” I pointed out and he stood there with his mouth open.
“Never mind that. It’s time for your supper and bed. Aren’t you tired?”
I said all I did was rest which just made me more tired and didn’t say anything else but pondered the idea of a lighthouse standing in a place that existed nowhere else but this loop in space and yet was able to cast its beam throughout shadows. I smiled secretly and thought about what that meant as the door down to my room opened to show Corwin’s worried face.
“Murphy. We were beginning to worry. You’ve been gone for ages.”
“I took Raven for a fly-by,” he explained standing behind me and using his bulk to intimidate me to move. I stumbled forward and Corwin caught me easily.
“Whoa there, black bird,” he said and sandwiched between the two, we lock-stepped down the stairs returning to my room. The bed was turned down, clean clothes laid out and a basin of warm water, soap, washcloth and plush towels. Toothbrush, paste, deodorant and shampoo.
“Clothes? Am I going somewhere?” I questioned. Dr. Flauvel came out of the bathroom washing his hands. He greeted Corwin, Murphy and only nodded to me.
“I’m to give you a complete physical, Prince Raven. His Majesty’s orders before you stand before the Council,” he added.
“Murphy? Corwin?” I asked, my stomach in knots. I threw myself into an armchair, leaned back and closed my eyes as I rested my head on the chair back. “Is this where I plead for my life after admitting I was raised by a drunk mother and abusive father? Shall I throw myself on the mercy of the courts? Bullshit! I meant to kill the General, I was sent here to kill him. I am an assassin and refuse to deny it! Here I am, guilty as hell. So hang me.” The last few words ended with a sob which ran into hiccoughs, mumbles, grunts and sighs as my body relaxed into a deep sleep. It didn’t last long, I was shaken awake by Corwin and Murphy who had me up, dressed in sober uniform and restraints. Corwin apologized as he latched the silver cuffs on me, my hands in front so I could see that they were made of real silver and were spelled against any magic removing them.
“I’m no wizard or sorcerer,” I protested and the guard snorted in derision. Corwin murmured something about my use of spells in Rebma and the castle cliff. He grabbed my shoulder and cold chilled me to the core as the Prince Trumped all of us out of the room at Cabra to emerge in a small ante-chamber that was meant to be a holding cell off the Court Chambers. I could clearly see the King’s Council in session through the open barred door, it gave us an unimpeded view of the chamber and the scaffold in the lower bailey. I swallowed and that made the guard snicker.
“Not so brave now, are you, Black Crow?” One of the guardsmen came to the open door and addressed Corwin. “Prince Corwin, His Majesty requests the presence of the Assassin, Blackbird.”
Corwin took my arm and stood me up, my legs suddenly had no strength and I staggered a bit before they stiffened under me. “It’ll be alright, Raven,” he said quietly. I shrugged off his hand and stepped out into a large chamber with a raised dais upon which a score of men in procedural attire were seated. Dressed in official robes and wigs, with a contingent of uniformed and armed cavalry, I realized that these were part of the dead General’s forces and had come to see justice done.
There were huge windows behind the seated judges, beautiful stained glass depicting the Unicorn, the Pattern, and glorious exploits of Amber’s past kings. Armed guards covered every inch of egress, I saw loaded and cocked crossbows aimed at my chest.
Random stood and addressed me, his face stone cold, “Raven Murphy-Sines, Blackbird, you stand here before the court of Amber accused of the murder of General Gracchus, Lord Evenard. How do you plea?”
I grimaced. “Guilty. I killed him, it’s true. Hang me now and let’s get this over with.”
The Judges hissed as did the crowd that had squeezed into the available chamber seats. I thought I saw the girl, Roelle and the red-headed boy, Marcus. Murphy stood behind me and Corwin at my right.
“I am Blackbird, King, the Assassin of the Lord of the Gray Realm and to him I owe my fealty and my life. Not you!”
“By order of this court, Raven, you have been sentenced to death,” he said and I heard the girl gasp. “But, as King of Amber, I commute the sentence to life imprisonment. I’m sorry.”
I felt that tingle in my bones and knew terror beyond what he could do to me. Looked up in horror as the air above my head began to glow. That ghostly wheel materialized and its voice stilled the assemblage. “Hold, King of Amber,” it boomed. “It is not your right to judge the son of the King of the Courts of Chaos.” Merlin appeared next and stood next to me, his hands ready with spells resting on his palms.
“Raven is mine to judge and punish, King Random,” his voice stilled the courtroom and I saw the Queen in the background near the doorway closest to the window of the great dragon. I tensed and Merlin noticed, giving me a quick smile.
“Don’t be afraid, Raven,” he whispered.
“Afraid? I’m not scared, King. I’m eager. Eager for this to be over.” I shouted out a spell and three things happened at once. My manacles burst into clay freeing me, the entire assemblage of men froze as I leapt for Vialle, Random’s Queen, grasping her in my arms as the stained glass window fractured with the entrance of a great black and red dragon.
He swept up the two of us and was airborne in seconds even as my ‘still’ spell evaporated. I shouted as Corwin, Murphy, Random and Merlin yelled my name and the name of the Queen.
“I told you,” I whispered to the dragon called Tiamont. “I am the Master’s Blackbird.” We were swept away on a true black beast, a King of the skies.