Chapter 8
Dinner
Tom hunted through a pile of cloaks and found one that almost fitted. But there was nothing amongst the selection of tunics and other garments that came anywhere near to his size. There could be no doubt about it: he was a big man amongst small people. Alison was more their size.
He threw the cloak over his shoulders and one of the girls of the guard helped him fasten it with a silver brooch. She said he looked great and gave him a poke in the ribs. Tom asked her about the duties of the guard. She said they were there to protect the queen and attend to the needs of guests. Tom said they were both honourable undertakings and received another poke.
He followed Thunder outside. A crowd was gathered. Men, women and children in brightly coloured clothes stood around waiting to see him. Tom felt scruffy in his faded denims. The people in his new realm might be primitive, by some standards, but their dress sense was superb.
'Sky Warrior!'
A cry went up. Tom liked his new name. It added to his status, as did his escort of female warriors. With a girl on either side he went outside. Men with swords raised their hands in salute. Women with pendants thrust their bosoms towards him. He watched their bobbing breasts and heard Thunder.
'They want you to honour the images of the Holy Mother that they have hanging about their necks. Do so by touching the Blessed Lady with the extended forefinger of your right hand. Don't touch anything else.'
Tom wasn't one to play the tame monkey, particularly for a cocky little man who smelt of stale urine and clearly had a bladder problem. He strode forward and grasped the pendants, holding them long enough for the women to kiss his hand. Nearing the Great Hall, he stopped to talk to a group of warriors, admiring their weapons and congratulating them on their appearance. Thunder hurried him up the steps.
The huge building was constructed from massive timbers and set on a stone base. Inside, the air was charged with the smell of resin from the many firebrands, which burned in iron brackets on the walls. The central aisle was flanked by long tables. Charcoal fires glowed in pits between them, attended by boys roasting pigs.
The hall was packed with flamboyantly-dressed people who rose when he made his entrance. At first Tom thought he was going to get a standing ovation. Then he realised his fellow diners merely wanted to get a better look. The girls marched him to the end of one of the tables and set him down beside a raised dais.
His immediate neighbours were evidently persons of distinction. The man on his left was dressed entirely in red and had red hair and a flowing red moustache. He introduced himself as Red Hand son of Red Cloud and said he was Head Master of the Catti. The man on his right gave his name as Griffin son of Dragon and said he was Chariot Master of the Catti.
Red Hand was nursing a drinking horn and appeared well under the influence of the amber liquid. He downed the contents and held the horn upside down.
A serving girl arrived with a drink for Tom.
Red Hand grabbed her arm.
'I asked for more mead.'
'I was sent to serve our guest.'
Red fingers dug into her arm. 'Who am I?'
'You are our Head Master.'
'Then I am to be served first.'
Tom handed his drinking horn to Red Hand and the girl rushed away. A nod from the Chariot Master told him he was not the only one who found the red man repulsive.
Red Hand raised the horn and peered at Tom over the rim.
'Where do you come from?'
'I am a visitor from another realm.'
'Huh.' Red lips spluttered mead over the table.
'Another what?'
'Realm,' said Tom.
'What's that?'
'Another world ... another plane of existence.'
'Holy Mother. You've been having too many magic mushrooms. How did you get here ... up or down, north or south?'
Tom considered the question.
'Sideways ...'
Red Hand laughed loudly and Tom felt uneasy. Other diners were looking in their direction. He was fumbling for something to say when a young man approached from across the aisle.
'He is a companion of Princess Adrina,' Griffin whispered.
Tom exchanged glances with a dark-haired girl at another table.
'Sky Warrior.' The young man swirled his cloak and held out a small leather bag. 'Princess Adrina welcomes you to our realm. She would be honoured if you would accept this small token of her esteem.'
Tom slipped his fingers into the bag and felt something long and furry. He pulled it out and held it up.
'It's a hare's paw,' Griffin explained.
'A hare's paw?'
'It's an expression of high regard.'
Tom fumbled in his shirt. A stainless steel chain hung there bearing a disk that said he was allergic to penicillin. He slipped it over his neck and handed it to the young man. 'Take this to the princess. Tell her it is my token of respect.'
A gong sounded and a door opened. The girls of the royal guard appeared and the diners rose.
'Her Majesty is about to arrive,' Griffin said.
The guard parted and the old woman entered. Tom saw her walk with slow arthritic steps onto the dais. A pig on a spit roasted there. She hobbled towards it. The agony of every movement was evident on her face. Tom watched with growing admiration. There was something about the old woman that appealed to him. She was a battler. The sort who wouldn't give up. She turned and the assembled diners fell silent.
'Who claims the right to carve the royal portion?'
She asked in a tired voice. Tom guessed it was part of a ritual that accompanied every dinner in the Great Hall. The red man, sitting beside him, staggered to his feet.
'I, Red Hand, claim that right as is my custom, Majesty.'
He threw out his arms and launched forth.
'Faster than a bolt of lightning is my flying spear.
Terrible my swift sharp sword ...'
He kept going but no one took any notice. The diners started to talk amongst themselves. Tom wasn't surprised. The performance was boring in the extreme. He guessed he was witnessing an ancient right that had lost its significance. His attention turned to Adrina and they were exchanging glances when a young man entered the hall and began to crow like a cockerel.
Griffin turned to Tom. 'That's Fire Tongue of Gorm. He is a companion of the princess.'
All eyes turned to Fire Tongue as he pranced down the aisle.
'Small sword of the night!’
He reached Red Hand and jumped onto the table.
'Strong in words and weak in action.'
He tweaked the red man's nose.
'How dare you?' Red Hand exploded.
Fire Tongue leant forward. 'I, Fire Tongue of Gorm, challenge you, Red Bum of the Catti, for the right to carve the royal portion.'
Red Hand puffed out his chest.
'Leave now or your head will adorn my collection.'
'Your what?'
'Do you not know that I am Head Master of the Catti?'
'Head Master. You couldn't cut the head off a mouse …'
The queen watched from the dais. Tom saw the stony expression on her face and guessed she was not amused. He glanced across to Adrina's table. The princess was surrounded by her bodyguard of young men. Their attention was on the diners. Hers was on Fire Tongue. Her dark eyes flashed as he rolled out the insults.
'Red Bum. Red Balls ...'
The diners rose from their benches and pointed at Red Hand.
'Go on. Take off his head. That's what you're paid to do.'
Red Hand drew his sword.
'Get after him.'
The diners banged their platters together and yelled at the overweight man as he clambered onto a bench and lashed out with his blade. Fire Tongue jumped clear and pranced nimbly down the table. Red Hand followed, knocking over drinking horns and scattering loaves of bread.
Fire Tongue reached the end of the table and stopped. The crowd fell silent. The young man's only weapon was a short hunting knife. The red man's sword was made from the finest steel and capable of slicing off an arm. Fire Tongue balanced on the edge of the table and stuck out his tongue.
'Insolent puppy!'
The red man's sword slashed out and the young man did a back flip. The blade passed between his legs and he landed on the flagstones beside the main door. Red Hand clambered down and pursued him outside.
Tom turned to Griffin.
'Does this happen every night?'
The Chariot Master didn't reply. His eyes were on the royal dais where the queen was flanked by her retainers. Thunder stood behind her. Tom watched as the little man tapped out a message on the knuckles of his hand. Griffin got to his feet and left the Hall with a group of warriors.
Tom returned his attention to the queen.
The old woman was listening to Thunder but her eyes were on Adrina and her companions, who were making no effort to hide their delight. Outside, in the chariot enclosure, studded boots sounded on the cobblestones. Tom listened as they reached the side of the building and climbed the massive timbers. The diners turned their heads and followed the shouts of abuse and threats of retribution.
The shouting reached the eves and stopped while the two antagonists negotiated the overhang. Then it started up again. Threats and insults followed as the two men clawed their way up the roof. Wooden tiles cascaded into the hall. The line of destruction reached the ridgeline and stopped.
For a while there was silence.
Then something began a slow descent, dislodging more tiles. It reached the eves and the noise of falling tiles was replaced by the dull thud of something heavy hitting the ground. No one spoke. Eyes turned to the wall. Someone was climbing down ... and he was whistling.
The jaunty little tune made its way to the ground and continued through the chariot enclosure to the main door of the Hall. Fire Tongue appeared. He carried a bundle of red cloth and went straight to Adrina's table where he set it down with as little ceremony as a postman delivering a parcel … then slipped away.
Pandemonium broke out. The girls of the guard thumped their spears and yelled at the diners, telling them to return to their seats. Adrina's bodyguard formed a tight cordon about her and exchanged insults with their neighbours. Finally, the queen intervened.
'Order. Order.'
Silence descended on the hall.
Adrina's party gave up their defensive position. The diners sat down. Thunder left the dais and hurried over to Tom. He arrived at the place previously occupied by Red Hand and leant forward.
'Her Majesty has a request.'
Tom inclined his head.
'I would be honoured to oblige.'
Thunder preened the waxed ends of his moustache. 'You may have noticed that we no longer have a champion to carve the royal portion.'
'That had occurred to me,' Tom said. 'The fellow who successfully contested the challenge has decided to eat somewhere else.'
'That appears to be the case.' Thunder glanced towards the dais. 'So there's a hole in our proceedings. We'd like you to fill it before the food gets cold.'
Tom felt a twinge of apprehension.
'You'd like me to do what?'
'Issue a challenge. The royal escort will deliver another invitation. Her Majesty would like you to respond.'
Tom watched as a girl of the guard thumped her spear on the flagstones and called for another contender. He got up and was met by a wave of applause. His next problem was to invent a suitable outpouring of words. Having listened to Red Hand's pathetic attempt, it wasn't difficult.
'I, Sky Warrior, War Master of the Angli, contest the honour.'
Faster than a swallow is my deadly spear.
More deadly than a bolt of lightning is my burning arrow.
Quicker than a barnyard cockerel is my long sword of the night.'
The crowd went wild with excitement. Shouts ran through the hall and Tom wondered what he could do to round off his act. His attention strayed to the table. One of the boards didn't look as strong as the others. He was reminded of a party trick from his younger days. He'd done it many times and had never failed to win admiration. His hand rose and came down in a karate blow he'd not practised in years.
The board cleaved in two.
The ends shot up and the diners roared their approval. Shields were rushed forward. Tom was hoisted onto them and carried to a pig on a spit. His wrist hurt and he wondered if he'd broken any bones. A carving knife was placed in his hand. He grasped it and did his best to carve the royal portion.
***
Fury stood at the bottom of the stairs and waited nervously, wondering why Adrina was taking so long. He hated that part of the building. As a child he had kept away from it, taking immense detours to avoid going anywhere near the stairs or the adjoining corridor.
The stairway had implanted itself deeply in his young mind: not the least because it lay between his sleeping quarters and the urinal. On many a cold winter's night, he had lain in bed, legs crossed, too frightened to go outside and relieve himself.
He had only once mounted the stairs and entered the room above. He'd done so at the insistence of his mother, who'd forced him to take part in a special ceremony. And he'd had nightmares ever since. He held his breath to stop his teeth chattering. At the end of the corridor there was a hissing noise.
'Fuuury.'
It sounded like a tormented soul, crying out to be released from captivity. Shivers ran down his spine. Then he recognised his sister's voice. She was whispering his name and banging on the door. He ran and opened it.
'What kept you?'
Adrina pushed past him.
'You were meant to unbolt it. You stupid little blub.'
'I didn't ...'
Fury tried to explain but Adrina was in no mood to listen. She thrust a bundle into his hands and he held it at arms' length.
'I still don't understand why it has to be me?'
Adrina glared at him.
'Do you want to see that girl again?'
'You know I do ...'
'Then do as you're told and stop asking questions.'
She manoeuvred him towards the stairs. 'You don't have long. Mother's guards will be back soon. When you've finished, go to the House of Ways and meet my men. Make sure you get it right this time. If you don't, I'll give the girl to them.'
The thought was horrifying. Fury abandoned all thoughts of vacillation. He held the bundle to his chest, hurried up the stairs and opened the dreaded door. Inside, the scene was much as he remembered. A long table was covered in wooden boxes. One stood out. Black with a golden disc on the lid. He approached it nervously. He'd never held a human head before and didn't relish the thought of starting with Balduur the Great.
The lid came away.
He peered into the box and the head stared back at him.
'Balduur ...' he whispered.
It was a terrifying name from his childhood. A name big boys used when they wanted to frighten little boys. It was the name of the warlord who had come close to destroying his people. Fury picked up the head and was filled with fear and fascination. The skin was shrunken but it was still possible to imagine what the man looked like in life. The famous broken nose was there and so was the gash Balduur received when he was knocked from his horse and killed by Fury's grandfather.
He no longer felt frightened.
It gave him a sense of power to hold the head which, in life, was the repository of Balduur's soul and, in death, its prison. Balduur was his captive. He placed the head on the table and set about the second part of his task.
He felt more confident now.
Another head wasn't going to scare him, even if it was only recently detached from its body. He didn't like Red Hand. Little boys spoke about him. Fury picked up the bundle Adrina had given him and folded back the red cloth.
He knew what he would see and it didn't frighten him. The former Head Master of the Catti looked more surprised than scared. Fury guessed the red man was too arrogant to believe he was about to be killed. He took the head by the hair and transferred it to the black box with the golden disc. Then he wrapped Balduur's head in the red cloth and hurried from the room with it.
***
A fire blazed in the chariot enclosure, illuminating the north wall of the Great Hall. A chariot stood beside it. The sides were caved in and a body lay upon it. Tom recognised the corpse as the former Head Master of the Catti.
Red Hand lay upon a broken spar. His head and part of his cloak were missing. Tom took in the details then followed Thunder to where a huge fire was burning. What he saw filled him with horror.
Marvellous objects were being consigned to the flames. They were being taken from a cart. It bore a chariot and the chariot bore an immense golden disc. Museums in his former realm would pay a fortune for such an artefact. As Tom watched, a man with a blacksmith's hammer struck the head off a gilded horse and tossed it into the flames. The crowd surged forward and women grasped at his cloak.
'Knock off the Great Poof's head.'
Tom surveyed the sea of expectant faces and felt more than a bit confused. The beer at the pub and the mead at dinner had worked havoc with his mental faculties. He vaguely saw a golden disc with a smiling face and guessed that was what they were talking about. He clambered onto the cart, reached for the disc, and heard the roar of approval as he dragged it from its mounting and consigned it to the flames.
***
Alison awoke, heart beating wildly. A tremendous din was coming from the Great Hall. Wild shouts and the sound of laughter. Tom was there. She heard his raucous voice and guessed he was drunk. Then she heard another sound: a softer and more gentle sound. A harp was playing and a young man was singing. She climbed out of bed and put on the clothes that had been laid out for her.
A full moon lit her new world. She pulled back a heavy leather curtain and looked outside. Everything was suddenly more real than anything she had experienced before. A fire blazed in a courtyard. Three young men were sitting about it on low stools.
As she watched, a drinking horn passed between them. Two powerfully built men, in leather boots and brightly coloured clothes, sat on either side of a boy who was more her age. He seemed out of place in their company. His light-blue eyes stared out over the fire. Alison saw the chain about his neck. It was the one with the stainless steel cat ... the one she'd exchanged for his talisman.
She was wearing his talisman now; the carving of a bear. Her heart missed a beat. In her dreams he had called her Little Cat and she had called him Little Bear. He picked up his harp, strummed a few chords and began to sing.
'How strong and beautiful is the fair oak tree.
I strove beneath its bows to please a maid.
My cloak upon the bracken was our bed.
And, one and one together, one were we.
Hark, Little Cat.
Why do you think of sleep?
Listen to the wild lynx crying for its mate.
The doe in yonder meadow does not sleep.
The stag in yonder thicket does not wait.'
Alison's heart beat wildly. It was as if everything she had ever wanted had suddenly arrived. She pushed open the door and went outside. The three young men showed no sign of recognition. She walked into the circle of light and let the hood of her cloak fall down, revealing her face.
No one made the slightest move in her direction. They seemed absorbed in the ritual of the song yet the words seemed intended for her. She looked towards the singer searching for a sign. For a moment she feared she was an intruder. Then he turned his head towards her and she knew she was the reason for the song.
'Bir Moreth threatens but I do not despair.
I have made my choice and I have no regrets.
My choice is to be with you, my love.
You are my chosen one. What am I to you?
Why are you so silent ... my sweet love?'
He stopped singing and one of his companions handed the drinking horn to Alison. She held it to her lips. A taste of honey and aromatic herbs. A tide of warmth swept over her. She drank again and when she had finished, she stood with the horn in her hands, feeling its smooth surface. She looked into the fire and saw strange shapes. Her feet felt light and when she tried to move it felt as if she was walking a hair's breadth above the ground. Her vision clouded and when it cleared the scene had changed.
The stools were empty. The fire had died. Alison looked about wondering if it had been a dream. Tears welled in her eyes. She buried her head in her hands. Then, she heard the snort of a horse and smelt its earthy presence. A gentle hand touched her shoulder. She looked up and saw him sitting astride a piebald mare. He reached down. She grasped his hand and he lifted her up behind him.
***
Tom slipped into the shadows to relieve himself against the wall of the chariot enclosure. His wrist still hurt from the karate blow he had inflicted on the table but the rest of him was at peace with the world. He assumed a relaxed position and contemplated the good impression he had made since his arrival in his new realm.
A youth stood nearby, adding his modest trickle to Tom's gushing flow. Tom recognised him as the young fellow who handed him Adrina's token at dinner. He sidled closer and spoke from the corner of his mouth.
'It once belonged to a male hare.'
Tom guessed a joke was being made at his expense. He glanced down at his exposed part, wondering if it was being treated with due respect.
'It would have been a dammed big hare.'
The young man followed his gaze.
'I wasn't talking about that.'
'What were you talking about?'
'Male hares ... they thump them on the ground when they want to attract the attention of lady hares.'
Tom pulled up his zip.'
'What's that got to do with me?'
'The princess gave you a hare's paw as a token of her esteem.'
Tom's eyes brightened. His recollection of events was cloaked in an alcoholic haze but he had no difficulty remembering the princess. He slipped a hand in his pocket and felt something furry.
'She wants to meet you.'
Tom concentrated his mental faculties.
'I'd be honoured ...'
He nodded and was about to say more when half-a-dozen young men stopped piddling and descended on him. They grabbed him from behind and rushed him along a maze of alleys. Tom heard Thunder shouting to the girls of the guard and guessed the little man wanted to stop his fun. He kept running. A door opened and he was pushed through.
Suddenly he was alone. His escort had gone. The girls of the guard were rampaging outside, shouting his name, saying they had come to rescue him. Tom checked that the door was securely bolted and turned his attention to a flight of stairs. A light shone at the top and something thumped on the floorboards.
Thump. Thump ...
He fumbled in his pocket and found the hare's paw.
Thump. Thump ...
He returned the call. He didn't know what lady hares did when attracting a mate and didn't care. Someone was summoning him and he knew who it was. He bounded up the stairs, two at a time, and reached a door.
The light was the first thing he saw. The next was Adrina. She sat on a pile of sheepskins. A circle of lamps flickered above her head but the light that surrounded her came from a different source. It was unlike anything he had seen before ... a light that cast no shadows.
Adrina sat motionless. She wore a low-cut dress and her long black hair hung down seductively. Tom recognised her as the young woman who had given him the hare's paw at dinner. Her appearance was now changed. It was as if everything exciting, desirable and female had been reduced to an essence and brought together in one person. He felt as if he was in the presence of something sacred.
The room was like a shrine to a goddess. He hesitated, wondering if he should enter. Then Adrina's rigid composure dissolved and an impish smile appeared.
'Sky Warrior, I've been expecting you.'
The light in the room was normal now. The young woman looked less like a statue and more like a real person. She patted the sheepskins and invited him to sit down. Her manner exuded confidence.
Tom ran his eyes over her. Adrina was about the same height as Alison and a bit older. While he regarded Alison as little more than a child, his feelings towards Adrina could not have been more different. She took his arm and squeezed it playfully.
'I've been waiting a long time for this meeting.'
Tom peered down the cleft in her dress.
'You knew I was coming?'
'Of course I did.' She imitated a little girl's voice. 'It was little me who brought you here ... wasn't it?'
'Of course it was.'
Tom slipped his hand round her waist.
'How did you know I brought you here?' she whispered.
'Because I wouldn't go on a hazardous journey between realms if I didn't think a beautiful princess was waiting for me on the other side.'
He stroked her arm and she pushed him away.
'By the Great Poof's arse. You do speak a lot of turdish twaddle. You came here because I arranged it.'
'You're saying you brought me here?' Tom squeezed her arm playfully. 'Just you ... all by your little self?'
Adrina reached for the image that hung about her neck.
'Through the Blessed Lady all things are possible. It was She who brought you into this realm. I arranged for you to come here.'
'You mean you arranged for me to come to your mother's village?'
She tweaked his ear ... her manner playful again.
'I wanted to see what a big handsome giant was like.'
'And now you know ... are you pleased you brought me here?'
'Yes.' Adrina's fingers ran up and down the stainless steel chain that said he was allergic to penicillin. 'I think I am, Sky Warrior.'
Tom pointed to the chain. 'You're wearing my token.'
'It is a beautiful token.' She lifted the chain to her mouth and touched the links with her tongue. 'It is made from some sort of iron. One that does not rust.'
Tom was surprised by her knowledge of metallurgy.
'Is it common where you come from?'
'Very common,' Tom said.
She stroked his arm.
'And a big strong giant, like you, knows the secret of how it's made?'
'Of course I do,' Tom lied.
Her hand slid down, landed on his knee and ran up to his belt. The buckle was made of a cheap casting metal and coated to look like pewter. Adrina lost interest in it and turned her attention to the clasp on Tom's zip.
'What's this?'
'Pull it down,' Tom laughed,' and you'll discover what giants are made of.'
'Can I have it?'
'You can if you pull it down.'
Adrina tugged and the zip opened.
Her eyes widened. 'Oh. You are a big giant.'
'I knew you wouldn't be disappointed.'
'I want it,' she giggled.
'I'm not stopping you ...'
She yanked at the zip and a searing pain struck Tom's vital regions as part of him became entrapped. His hand shot down. Then, before he could stop her, Adrina dragged the clasp past the obstruction. It broke off and she held it in her hand.
'Thank you, Sky Warrior. It is a noble gift.'
Tom forced the zip back down and freed himself from the offending mechanism. The damage was superficial and his wilting passion began to revive.
Adrina smacked his wrist.
'You are a naughty giant. It's time for you to go to bed. There's lots for you to do tomorrow.'
He took her arm. 'There's lots for me to do tonight.'
'Let go. You're frightening my ferret.'
'Bring on the ferret.' Tom tried to pick her up.
'Bad ferret.' Adrina smacked something. 'You've bitten Sky Warrior.'
Tom felt a stabbing pain and sank to his knees. His head spun. He had little doubt that something venomous and fast acting had been injected into his body. His vision narrowed. He saw the bottoms of brightly coloure