Alpha State
The first thing that happened when Asterius was engulfed by the Alpha cluster was a sweeping storm that made everything seem to evaporate, being replaced by flowing strands of transparent colors. The sky became an undulating view of unlimited vision, mixing pieces of comets, flying meteorites and vaporous beams of multiple suns in a carousel of random speed. The edges and the borders of everything simply vanished: actually, everything disappeared completely in an instant. There was only a thick feld of colorful light, trembling like heat waves. The pilot could see his boots on the dusty surface of the planet.
“Am I dead? Am I alive? Is this afterlife or Alpha State?” he wondered.
He looked at his hands: the contour of his arms and fingers had started to dissipate. He felt detached and adrift, with each particle of his body, every atom being set free to exist independently and disconnected. He didn't feel cold, but not burning either. Temperature was undetectable. His mind was still there and he could watch his boots on the dusty surface. The moment he wished he could see the planet from a bigger perspective he started being lifted in the air with sudden speed.
He could see his feet turn transparent above the ground. He realized he could do anything he wanted: space was no longer functioning as it had before. It was open to action and wonder.
Rony's conscience was intact: he still knew who he was, but he could no longer see himself. He felt more like invisible energy, suddenly liberated from the material limits. The revelation was that life had to be flexible, in its best form. It was an exhilarating sensation, to finally be able to rise weightlessly in the air, not knowing exactly where the infinite universe ended. And that was the main certainty: that nothing really had an end.
Rony learned to adjust to the new way of life very fast. It was much like flying a shuttle in space, but a lot easier, without any restrictions or obstacles of any kind.
It was like a roller coaster ride. He could effortlessly roam above the planet, circle it as many times he wanted, as fast as the blink of a thought. He felt powerful and enthusiastic: there was no hunger, no fear, no worry whatsoever. Instead, the particles of colorful light, millions of bright hues flying around him, fueled his energy like rain washing over growing leaves. He remembered a dream as a child to have eagle wings. Suddenly, he felt huge wings on his invisible shoulders. He looked at the image: there were wavy feather-like wings made of particles of energy and his body had taken the shape of a cone, similar to an eagle. He flapped his wings, rising to the sky, going round and round above the stormy atmosphere where comets and flashes of firing suns few by in a bright mess. It was interesting to be a bird and have wings. He understood he could have been anything.
For a while, he remained an eagle, looking for the others. Where could they be? He was certain they hadn't evaporated. At the moment when the storm hit the planet they were together at the camp. He couldn't see them anymore, just as there were no more objects, no more tents, no greenhouse, nothing... Trying to find the others in the thick layers of colors and energy wasn't easy. An idea came to his head.
“I'll just think about them”. The first one to appear was Joey. He recognized the boy even though the image was not the same: Joey was a tall and powerful metallic robot, with firing engines on his feet. The pilot remembered he had seen the robot in some comic books in the teenagers' tents. He figured the boy's desire to be tall and mighty according to the drawings had come true.
“Hey Rony-eagle! It's me!” he heard the boy laugh.
“Yes, I recognized you.”
“How did you know it was me?”
“I just knew, but the energy you have. And because I saw this robot before in your comic books.”
“What about you? Why are you an eagle?”
“I guess I wanted to fly.”
“We can be anything we want! Isn't is awesome?”
Joey few by his side for a while.
Suddenly, a sharp arrow went past them, cutting the colorful waves of light with high speed.
“That's Zenna. She chose to be a weapon”, Joey joked. “I think she wants revenge on Martin, cause he's so annoying. Let's follow her!”
They followed the arrow. She led them to a valley where a beautiful peacock was arranging its colors, trembling waves of energy that reminded Rony of another teenager.
Joey was again amused.
“Penelope, you've got a pretty tail”, he laughed.
“Aren't you envious, you iron robot!” she replied undisturbed.
“What happened to you?” Martin asked them from the ground.
He was sitting on a rock, still looking like himself. He watched the others fly around him effortlessly and he seemed frustrated. At that moment, Zenna the steely arrow went past his ear, scaring him so he lost balance and fell of the rock. She laughed and Joey seemed to enjoy the show too.
“How can you change like that?” Martin asked them. “I wanna fly too! Why can't I do that?”
He jumped up and down, trying to take of, but he remained on the ground.
“It's probably because you haven't got enough imagination”, Penelope told him, spreading her colorful wings and rising to the sky.
“And you're too full of yourself ”, Joey added. “I feel sorry for you. It must be so boring to be unable to change into anything.”
“Sure I can. There must be something I can become. I'll prove it.”
“You can't because you never like anything or anyone.”
“That's not true” Martin said thinking and his face lit up suddenly. “Pigeons!
I've always liked pigeons. Maybe I can change into a pigeon.”
He tried to concentrate and for a while his hands trembled and started taking the shape of wings, but then they flipped back to their usual form.
“And that's because you also don't believe it's possible!” Penelope added.
“Where's Buddy?” Rony asked them.
“He's probably lost. Let's call him. Budyyyy!” Joey yelled in the air.
They suddenly saw a huge dinosaur advancing like an earthquake.
“Buddy! Why are you a dinosaur?”
“I've always wondered what they were like. And they seem powerful fascinating creatures. They're actually nice.”
“You could have been anything - and you chose a dinosaur?”
“Fine! I'll be a flying tree with atomic branches!”
And Buddy instantly changed his wavy image, turning into a tree with little engines at the end of its shiny branches shaking of jewels instead of fruits.
“Wow this is so funny! I have an idea”, Joey said. “Let's play hide and seek.
One of us must find the others. In the meantime, we can change to whatever we want. Whoever guesses the new form will have to take the shape that the seeker tells him to.”
“That's like truth or dare.”
“Not exactly. For example, I turn myself into a lion. If Buddy guesses it's me, he can tell me to become a turtle or a mosquito, if he wants. And if he can't guess it's me, I can tell him to turn into a mouse.”
“It sounds like fun”, Buddy agreed. “Who's playing?”
“I won't play”, Martin said indifferently. “I'm going for a walk, although there's nowhere to go now. I want things to be back as they were.”
“I like it better this way! Who's playing with me?” Joey was radiantly shiny, beaming with enthusiasm, reveling in the new freedom of being able to make his thoughts come true in an instant.
“I'm playing!” Zenna said, returning as a fairy princess with wings.
“Penelope, aren't you playing?” Buddy asked the other girl, turning into a knight in shiny armor riding a unicorn, to be more enchanting.
“Maybe”, Penelope said, making circles as a racing car. “Let's see who outruns me now!”
Rony smiled. The new Alpha state was a never-ending fairy tale and playground for the children.
He let them invent new games and went looking for his colleagues through the thick waves of energy. He decided to change into the shape of an astronaut, to be easily recognized by the others. He fnally found Evgheni as a tree with eyes and feet - and Nicole was just herself, trying on different types of dresses and hairstyles. Yuri had become a cyborg and had an electric brain, drawing energy to his mind from the distant suns. Rony couldn't see Sheena. “Maybe she's at the beach”, he thought – if there was any beach left in that colorful mess of stormy atoms.
“Are you looking for me, Rony?” he heard her speak.
The sound of her voice resonated majestically above the planet. He looked up and saw a bright sphere of light, right next to the sun. It was so similar that Rony had a hard time distinguishing the two. He recognized Sheena by the way he felt in her presence. She radiated kindness and understanding. And yet her energy was proving so powerful that sustained her to embody the greatness of a sun.
“I won't ask you how you managed to become so bright”, he spoke.
“It's not difficult. Alpha State seems to bring out the truth from everyone's soul. Now we can see who we really are and what we really look like in our minds.”
“That's a stunning realization... I knew you're a kind person, but who would've thought you can be a sun!”
“I'm afraid I'm a simple imitation”, she laughed. “I'm not going to create a solar system around me, as much as I'd like... I prefer connections with living beings instead. Although, if you seek the truth, you'll discover that the whole universe is alive with energy and everything is connected somehow. There are no random coincidences. You meet who you're meant to interact with. What you see is just a matter of perspective. In fact, everything is energy that moves around and advances.”
Rony thought about the tower agent. He knew it was not a random encounter with her. It was much more: he was drawn to her because they were right for each other. There was a higher reason why they had met. He knew they were able to become – or create – something great together, much better as one than apart. He just didn't know what they would do if they could let that attraction manifest to its full potential.
Rony kept flying, wondering if the moon was still up in the sky. It wasn't easy to see through the diffuse nebulae that had enveloped Asterius.
His mind focused on the feeling of missing Vera.
“Meet me at the beach” he told her in his mind and few in the direction of the ocean. He was sure she would meet him there – that she would come. He was certain she could hear his thoughts when he called her, especially in that free zone of pure energy where atoms were traveling to their destination in fractions of seconds.
As soon as he saw the ocean he knew Vera was on the beach. He felt her presence, but didn't know in what shape or vision she would come. He looked to the horizon: the ocean waves were higher than before and inside them the abyss of another universe was flowing with stars, comets and swaying galaxies, a reflection of a moving cosmos in a liquid undulating sky. And then he saw something like a bright crown of a multicolored lotus pallet, its petals like blades of light, glowing and spinning from the distance, a multi-dimensional wheel in motion, gaining speed as it approached above the waves. “She's perfect” he thought, admiring the beautiful brightness that was as impressive as her presence had always been. He wanted to match her choice, so he changed his energy atoms to form a bright water-lily. When she got closer, the lotus multicolored crown leaned vertically towards him, and he did the same, so they faced each other in half spheres, the multi-dimensional pallets still spinning, but adjusting the pace to a new rhythm until they were completely synchronized, melting together in embracing rotation.
“I'm so happy you came”, he said.
Being so close to her felt as if they were directly connected, thinking at the same time and touching without obstacles while their colors imperceptibly merged and mixed, erasing any borders and contours. They were turning into a spinning sphere together, amplifying their power the closer they got.
“I know. I feel the same”, she answered and her energy waves seemed to envelop him like a kiss, melting and altering his vibration.
At that moment he realized that the ocean was just as eternal as everything else, including them as they had found each other: being together was the truth beyond illusion. He felt that was the way he was most alive and he belonged with her energy as if it had always been like that. Alone and separated from her it had been difficult, distressing and dark. Reality was just a fragmented distortion of the truth of life. His dreams had been the essence of light that had been shadowed by the rigid material view. The layers of unnecessary opaqueness had finally peeled of.
He could see everything so clearly. And he just knew, in an instant, that it wasn't the first time they were together. It felt too good to be just a moment.
“I've been here before with you”, he said. “In this Alpha State – we met before, haven't we? We experienced this galaxy collision together... long ago. Say it. It's true, isn't it?”
“Yes”, she answered. “It happened before.”
“Was it a hundred thousand years ago?”
“Years are not important. Time is an illusion and the energy of life is everlasting.”
“Did we love each other in that time too?”
The question was irrelevant: love could only be eternal, not connected with time. She was silent but he could feel her hesitation.
“Come on! Are you afraid to say it? Say you love me. Admit it... Love is not a mistake. It doesn't matter what they told you in the control tower.”
“You don't know enough about the control tower.”
“So tell me. What is it really about?”
“It's the lighthouse in the storm. It's making sure we advance – we evolve.”
“Let me speak to the person in charge. Who's the highest authority?”
“You know who it is.”
“No, I don't.”
“You know her very well.”
Rony thought about it. And then he felt they were watched by someone. He looked up above, at the big bright sun that doubled the neon sphere like a twin star.
“Sheena!” he exclaimed.
He couldn’t say more. It was a huge realization to understand who was actually the greatest power of Alpha State. It made sense: nobody else but the psychologist could have maintained a functional society on the brink of galactic collision. He smiled, somehow relieved that it was someone he trusted and appreciated. It didn't matter anymore why she had kept it a secret from him – it was an advantage that she was actually the leader of the control tower and everyone and everything on Asterius was under her observant watch. The twin neon sun glowed brighter, as Sheena's voice could be heard through the thick light: “Vera, explain to him why things are this way.”
Rony listened to Vera's thoughts:
“The control tower appeared as a consequence of previous disasters. The marble platform – the hexagon station that connected many worlds was taken apart by forces that surpassed lack or organization and general neglect from the part of many people who didn't assume responsibility to ensure its condition would be lasting. The chaos and panic that took over Asterius made everything difficult to handle. In the end, the system collapsed and much energy was wasted, absorbed into darkness and negative anti-matter whirls. The control tower is trying to make sure this doesn't happen again. That's why everything is so strict now.”
“But why is love forbidden? Love can't be wrong!” he affirmed with certainty.
“It's not forbidden... and it's not wrong, we both know it. However, love is an emotion that can make people act in unpredictable ways that sometimes can interfere with what needs to be done. The control tower banned emotions in general because some of them can affect people negatively.”
“And you agree with this?”
She was silent for a second. Then she continued calmly: “If I feel love for you, it has never stopped me from what I have to do.”
“I know. As I see it, love only makes us better, not worse. Love is the most motivating and powerful force of life.”
“If you think it helps, tell it to the chairperson of the control tower.”
“I'll talk to her later”, he said, captivated by the moment.
Holding Vera was the most complex and amazingly beautiful spiraling bouquet of colorful blades of light he had ever experienced. He didn't want to let go.
“Some things are eternal and some things are meant to be the impulse generating change”, she spoke.
“I love you and that's eternal”, he said.
“I love you too... and I always have” she answered sincerely, although hesitating to express it so directly.
Her affirmation confirmed what he had sensed for a long time. He knew he couldn't feel so much for her unless it was fueled by reciprocal magnetic attraction.
He suddenly remembered the dream he'd had about her and he understood it wasn't a dream: it was a memory. Then the flashback of the wedding ring on her finger crossed his mind again. He knew what it was.
“It's me”, he said, happy and amazed at the same time. “I can't believe it! It's been me this whole time, hundreds and thousands of years... You're married to me. I'm the one!”
“It took you a long time to remember” she smiled, her radiant spinning colors turning brighter. “I waited patiently for you to realize it.”
It felt perfectly right, as if they had belonged together since forever and were just finding their way back to each other, as the disorder became harmony again.
“But why did we grow apart? What happened, why did we separate?”
He couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone wrong a long time ago.
“The spiral of evolution isn't smooth and steady, it takes us through leaps and turns; it has to destroy before it can create something new - something better. The hexagon platform was the central station of connection between Asterius and other worlds. The storm tore it apart and it broke the link between us. We used to meet there because you and I come from different directions. That is why what we share is so valuable for us and for the universe as well. The Alpha State only brings the best to the light and makes the most of the real energy that is hidden beyond layers of illusionary matter. Everything else is just a shield that blurs the vision. After the disaster we were sent apart again and the control tower decided to separate us for a while. It seems they couldn't keep us from each other forever. I was meant to help you with your mission, but not become too personal with you. Our objective is the future of Asterius.”
“Is it going to be alright now?”
“I hope so.”
“This Alpha State isn't going to last forever, is it?”
“It comes and goes, but we're supposed to become better each time. The revelation enlightens our spirits by the core of our existence and we can ascend to a higher level.”
“Is ascension ever going to end? What are we meant to become when we get to the highest level possible?”
She smiled.
“You know things are infinite in the universe... and so are possibilities. Based on what we are now, imagine it multiplied by an immense power from the vast energy that exists and you'll get an idea... right now, our minds can't really understand how intense life can be higher up the spiral of evolution.”
“As long as you're by my side, I don't care if we have an infinity of levels to work out.”
“Ascending can be the most elating feeling. I promise I'll be by your side... ”
He didn't notice they were rising above the beach, keeping so close to each other that they had become a fountain spring of light and colors together, spiraling above the waves. He felt his energy enhanced by her presence, as if he could become more and more powerful from the effects of the spinning dance with her. The hues of their colors were brightening in tune with the feeling of blissful happiness.
“I don't want to lose you again”, he said.
“You can't ever lose me. I'll always be here”, she said softly but with invincible determination.
And even though it seemed that everything was fluid, changing, unpredictable and unstable, he believed her without any doubt because loving her felt like the most probable certainty of bliss, the most irrevocable, irreversible eternal truth.