Chapter Two
For all the world it seemed as if I were alone, but I wasn’t really. Forest creatures and talkative birds were all about me. They at least intended me no harm, even the two bears I had come across hadn’t sought to bother me. In the world of men though I was nothing but raw meat to be used and then traded for gold.
My thoughts drifted to my Uncle Taran. I’d been quite young the last time he’d come to visit. He’d been on his way to the West after the great war had ended and while I hadn’t been told much it was clear that he had been running from something at the time. What it had been he hadn’t said, at least not to me.
The look about him had greatly concerned my mother and I’d heard her pray for her brother many a time over the years since then. She prayed just as much for my Uncle Logan, who I’d never seen. By all accounts he had been a wild one and seldom seen by the family once he was of an age to leave.
I felt at my pocket and pulled out my Uncle’s letter and in a sunny spot in the forest I stopped to read it, “Dear Susanna, I hope this letter finds you and Tara well. Maybe you’ve even found yourself a man and are starting a new life again. Whatever the case may be I pray the best for you and Tara. That’s right Sis, I’m praying again. I’ve felt the weight of your prayers for years and finally I let God get a hold of me again and my how things have changed! Thank you Susanna for all you’ve done for me by praying for me and in helping to raise me after Ma died. I know Tara couldn’t wish for a better mother than you. Now on to something else. This is actually the second letter that I’ve written. I wasn’t going to write another, but something has driven me to take pen to paper again and I believe it to be the Spirit of the Lord so here goes……”
I read on over the course of several pages as Uncle Taran detailed his encounters in the small town of Orlaca in the Arizona Territory. I’d read this account over and over and never had I ceased to feel the thrill at hearing the story that came to life off the pages of the letter. It was the kind of story that was hard to believe, but Uncle Taran wasn’t the lying kind so both Ma and I took everything written as to being the gospel truth no matter how unbelievable it sounded.
I skipped over a bit of the story of events and down to the last paragraph that was of the most import to me in my current situation, “Enclosed I have sent along some gold coins I have managed to trade gold dust for. I hope they are of help to you even as I pray that your situation is such that you have no need of them. I don’t fully realize I think the enormity of what I’m about to do, but I feel driven to this task and I pray I do only what pleases God as that is my desire. It’s occurred to me that perhaps you or offspring of yours might wish to follow in this adventure I have begun. To that end please find the map I have drawn up of the place I had a dream about where fire and wind came together. It is to this place that I plan to head out in the morning toward. If my venture is successful this is likely the last time you’ll ever hear from me and for that I am truly saddened by. All my love, your brother, Taran.”
I folded the letter back up and stuck it in my pocket. I really hadn’t needed to read the letter again or look at the map as both were indelligibly etched within my mind. Reading it again had been more of an encouraging experience because it reaffirmed that there was hope for me that life could get better. At least it might get better if I managed to get off-world.
Somehow the idea of leaving this planet behind and experiencing something new was hope in and of itself. I had to get to the West and find this fire-wind portal towards the great beyond! I just had to!
Feeling strengthened of spirit I continued to trudge through the forest on my makeshift shoes. I’d had to replace the bark several times and cloth strips once. My dress now came knee-high and I shuddered at the sight I would be to decent folk.
It couldn’t be helped. I had the will to survive and there was no room for embarrassment.
It began to rain and sourly I noted its occurrence by pulling the collar of the coat I wore tighter about my neck. I should’ve taken the coat owner’s hat, but it hadn’t occurred to me at the time.
*****
The rain picked up and the sodden tresses of my cinnamon red hair began to drip icy water down the back of my neck to saturate my dress beneath the coat. I didn’t need to be getting myself drenched right now and coming down sick, but the drive to be West and free kept me walking.
Eventually though better sense prevailed and I stepped beneath an overhang and watched the late spring storm rage through the forest. Shivering I clutched at myself ineffectively. I’d waited too long to get out of the rain. My dress was soaked beneath the coat.
Miserably I watched the rain fall. It was as if the whole world and even God was against me.
“Not so Tara.” Came a voice off to my right.
Shrieking in alarm I jumped away from the overhang and back out into the rain. My eyes took in the form of an old indian and in shock I watched him gesture to me and say, “Please come back in out of the rain Tara.”
Feeling oddly comforted by the concern on the man’s face for me I stepped back in under the overhang.
“Who are you?” I quivered out in fear, as there was no explanation for this man’s sudden appearance out of nowhere let alone knowing my thoughts and my name.
“I’m a messenger from the Most High, whom you have served faithfully all your young life.”
I started shaking so badly that I fell to my knees and I would’ve pitched over to my face, but the man’s hands caught me and gently pulled me back up to my feet.
In mortal fear I drew back as far as his hands would allow as things began to add up quickly, “You’re the angel my Uncle Taran talked about in his letter aren’t you?”
“I am. Your Uncle is alive and well by the way.”
“Can you take me to him?”
“No.”
“No?” I said forlornly, as I felt my heart begin to break apart in despair. This one hope of re-unitement with my Uncle, someone of my kin who actually cared about me was all I had been hanging on for.
Sobbing emotionally I turned to push my face into the rock of the overhang, “Why does God hate me so? What have I done to deserve the hell that my life has become?”
“Tara look at me.”
Not wanting to, but feeling compelled to, I looked at the messenger and he spoke, “The tragedies that have befallen you are not of God’s making and neither were they willed upon you by Him. I do not hinder you from going to your Uncle, but rather I have come to warn you of danger. Danger that lies on the road ahead. The Lord loves you Tara and He knows you love Him too and that is why He sent me to you.”
Straightening I wiped at my tears, “What does God want me to do?”
“He wants your trust Tara and also your patience. When your Uncle left this world it was in his heart to do good for the Kingdom of God and he has. Now the task has fallen to you Tara. What will you choose to do with the life that’s been given to you?”
Stuttering I said, “I’m just a 16 going on 17 year old girl! What can God possibly use me for?”
“More than you know Tara, if you will only trust Him.”
I looked away into the rain and felt my heart squeeze painfully. Looking down I said, “You keep talking about trust as if in the pursuit of trusting God I’m going to experience even more pain than I already have.”
I looked up and the messenger nodded. Looking him in the eye I screamed out passionately, “I don’t want any more pain!”
“God knows that Tara, hence you have a choice. Three choices in fact and none of them are wrong.”
“What are they?” I asked not sure I really wanted to know.
“You can continue your journey west. The way will be fraught with peril and it is my understanding that you will not survive if you choose to do this. Another option is that a day’s journey from here toward the south you will come across a cabin in a clearing. The family there is of your name Collins and they will gladly take you in as they too are hiding from the evil forces that have been unleashed against your family. You’ll be safe and perhaps have a future filled with both a husband and children, if that’s what you want. Both of these options lie before you and God does not hinder you from choosing either as it is your right as a being created with the gift of self-will to choose for yourself what you will do in this life. Even if you were to die your soul is cared for Tara so do not fear death in either of these two options as the grave has no hold over you since as a young child you welcomed in your Redeemers Spirit to live within you and forgive you of all your sins.”
Managing to breathe a little better and with my tears in check for the moment I asked, “But what does God want me to do?”
“To become a slave.”
“What?” I squeaked out in disbelief of what I’d just heard.
“If you come with me now we will leave this place of Earth and travel outward to other places of my Master’s creation and journey to a world torn by war and violence. It is a world without a witness of the one true God. If you choose this path Tara know that you will suffer hurt and even seemingly the loss of self, but you will in turn gain the favor of the Most High and be given a dispensation by which you will perform miracles such as you have only read about written within the pages of your Bible. Your quest cannot fail as your Lord will not fail to deliver you from all calamities. Nor despite the grimmest of circumstances will He ever forsake you. Your reward will be great Tara, but you will have to live trusting in the mercy of the Lord and for some believers that can be very hard to do.”
I stared at the messenger in a mixture of angst and excitement. He made option three sound like I would step into hell yet be victorious over it in the end somehow.
I didn’t want to step into hell. Neither did I want to die by going west to pursue my dream of being free of this world on my own terms.
If these mountains in the East crawled with hunters anxious that every drop of Collins blood be spilled I could well imagine that places such as Orlaca were traps set in the making. God hadn’t needed to warn me, but He had. That said a lot about my Creator. I must be important to Him.
If I went to the cabin in the woods I would have it easy so to speak, but such was not the life I’d ever wanted to live or be defined by. The angel had said God would use me to do miracles! And yet to do that I first must become a slave.
“Oh God!” I cried out turning away from the messenger.
My crying now only helped define the path before me, because I knew what I wanted out of life most. I wanted to please my Maker above all else.
Turning I gathered in enough breath to whisper out, “The last one. I choose the last option.”
He held out his hand to me and I gathered I was to take it with my own. Putting my hand out part way I hesitated to complete the journey.
Not able to meet the messenger’s eyes I asked, “Will I always be a slave on this world that you’re taking me to?”
“Does it matter?” He asked.
On an indrawn hitch of breath I realized in that moment just how much I was giving up. Nothing would be guaranteed to me other than God’s promise to go through my trials with me.
Inwardly I prayed for help and the strength came from somewhere beyond me to move my hand the rest of the distance to grasp the messengers hand. I felt unimaginable power sweep throughout me as if it came from some deep well within me and flowed outward to baptize every last part of me. In shock I met the messenger smiling eyes as he said, “As it is written, ‘To who much is given much is required’. And yet Tara the reward for faithfulness will be very great indeed.”
The messenger’s visage had changed and he became as if the image of living fire and yet I was unafraid even as flames coursed around me and a wind blew so fierce that I saw the Earth disappear beneath my feet as if but a second had passed by.
The bright void of the sky gave way to the darkness of space so vast as to be inconceivable in terms of outer reach. Worlds and stars passed by without number until finally time seemed to slow down and I found myself being lowered to a world of grass and warm breezes.
Looking about I saw a vast prairie and yet it was different from any grassland I’d ever seen. The flowers, the scents in the air, even the sounds of the birds all seemed to give off an aura of wildness.
My eyes tracked back to the one who had brought me here. His face serious he let go of my hand and pointing off towards the sun setting over the distant horizon he said, “Your journey leads that way. Do not fear Tara as your life is kept and you are in no danger of not accomplishing all that my Lord has appointed for you to do. Hold fast to your faith and do not walk by sight, but rather by every word out of the mouth of God and it will go well for you.”
The messenger was gone then just like he had never existed and I was left staring at the direction of my fate sinking over the horizon. I believed God was who He said He was and even so I knew that He would uphold His promises to me, but I did not want to be a slave.
“Not my will but Thy will be done.” I whispered brokenly, as I cast the last of self to the wayside and headed toward the disappearing sun and whatever calamity was sure to befall me. My vanishing self cried loudly in my mind that I should of gone with option two, but the infilling of grace I had experienced back on Earth strongly encouraged otherwise.
My flesh truly was indeed weak, even as my spirit was willing to accomplish whatever God inspired tasks lay ahead. Just what could a slave do though that could be so momentous?
I didn’t know, but time would surely tell the truth of it.