Chapter Two
“Siringo?”
I looked around, but I was alone. Where was I?
In space. Always in space.
Asteroids passed by me and I gave them no notice. I continued walking toward a distant star nebula.
“Over here.”
I turned to look at the asteroids drifting by.
“Who’s there?” I asked uncertainly.
Drawing closer to the asteroids nearby I suddenly found myself walking on grass. Incredulously I looked around in wonder. It had been years since I’d seen grass.
Where was I? I looked up and with a start I had to dodge out of the way of a reptilian’s bite at my head.
The reptilian, our ever present enemy, just watched me from above laughing in the sick looking manner of their kind. I……
“Wake up bro!”
Startled I came awake and sat forward in the seat. Blinking away sleep I glanced at Briandy, who motioning to her monitor said, “We’re back with the Fleet.”
Nodding I straightened and tried to come to grips with the present reality and leave my dream world behind, but the dream was hard to shake.
“You okay?” Briandy asked.
I nodded. She glanced away from me and silently I asked, “What was that about God?”
There was no answer, but I sensed change was eminent. Would it be a good change or was I about to see more of my people die or even worse yet have a hand in killing them myself as I just had with the former crew of this ship?
*****
I wanted to be away from the public eye. I made my way swiftly along the gangways of the massive flagship of our little flotilla of ships in space. The flagship was old but she was of Melungeon design just as my gun was.
Within her old patched hull she bore a precious cargo of over 3000 souls. The seven other vessels of the fleet rounded the number off at almost 5000. To my knowledge we were all that was left of the inhabitants of our world long since destroyed by the enemies that we faced even today.
When our homeworld had come under attack, ships had left the surface left and right filled with all the passengers they could hold. The decision had been made to form up into flotillas and travel in search of a new homeworld while remaining separate from each other in order that some might slip through the enemies clutches.
One by one the fleets had perished or been lost from all contact. I thought we were alone until we’d discovered the Zanzi Squadron 10 years before. Now though I was quite certain of our aloneness.
Word was even now spreading like wildfire and cries of grief cut through the atmosphere of the mothership. I stopped walking.
Steeling myself I turned to look down into the gallery that lay two floors below me. People were gathering in ever-increasing numbers and as they did they looked up at me steadily, as if in expectation that I could have something to say to make the situation any better than it was.
“What do I tell them God?”
The imagery of my dream came back sharply to me. I could practically feel the grass beneath my feet. Looking down at my feet all I saw was hard metallic gangplank. Looking to the crowd below I spoke out in a clear voice, “I want you to all prepare yourselves. I want you to prepare for finding a new home.”
“What? How can you say that? There is nowhere for us to call home in this sector and even if there was we’d be destroyed before we ever set foot on it!” Cried out an angry voice from the gathering of people below.
More murmuring broke out, until the hall below was filled with shouting people. My people were breaking apart at the seams right before my eyes.
Drawing my gun I aimed it so as to not hit any critical systems and fired it. Sparks shot off and the echo of the blast’s reverb was loud enough to the point that everyone stopped talking.
In a measured tone I said, “Such civil disturbance I will not allow! For those of you unhappy with the way I’ve run things then you’re free to come find me out and put an end to my time as leader, but be ready to shoot if you do. As for the rest of you I’m asking for a little more faith on your part. I know what we’ve been doing is unsustainable. I know! None of you has to tell me how bad things are! I know!!!”
My angered shout echoed loudly throughout the gallery. I never lost my temper like this, well at least not often or ever as bad as I felt myself warming up to.
I forced myself to say in a more reserved tone, “If our situation does not radically improve within a year and by that I mean the seeing of us all settled somewhere on solid ground you have my permission to blast my head off my shoulders. I won’t resist you.”
Silence followed my words and I watched as what dim hope there was all but faded from view within the eyes of my people.
“It’s time for a change in strategies. Up till now our focus has been on surviving. Survival at all costs. We’ve all lost someone special to that cause of staying alive and remaining free. That time is over. Orwel I want you to start a course for the fleet toward the inner galaxy. We’re not going to run anymore. Prepare our defensive systems accordingly across the fleet.”
I gazed into the faces below now full of surprise after such an order. The order was different. It was a change.
“My people, how it will go for us I do not know, but this I can tell you. Continuing to fight to survive and the insanity it engenders is not something I have any wish to continue on doing. Today I killed members of our own people. People who lost their soul in order to survive above everything else. It’s not worth it! I will never become like the soulless demons that even some of our own kind have morphed over into! It’s time to fight for the freedom and peace we want and if need be it’s time to die! There will be no more running!!!”
A chant of, “No more running.” Erupted from the gathered people below and was soon picked up by almost everyone. The people were of one accord again.
I caught Briandy looking at me with a sardonic smile splayed across her face. She pointed at me and mouthed out, “You da man.” As it became apparent that I had once again somehow pulled out something positive from the ashes of a fire thought too long gone to revive.
Despite myself I had to fight against the urge to smile. I really didn’t understand it. I’d pretty much promised everyone certain death and they were showing more enthusiasm than they had for years about anything.
I saw Randelon and I gestured for him to come to my quarters. I turned away then and left as the people continued to cry out with exuberance.
Reaching my quarters I pushed the door open and started the process of cleaning up. Myst hopped off a bookshelf and came to brush around my ankles softly purring.
Sitting down wearily upon the bed I leaned forward to scratch behind her ears. Her rumbling increased as she pressed into my touch. Her sublime satisfaction with the moment had me smiling even as I felt slightly jealous as I wished I could experience even half the pleasure that she was currently exhibiting.
My door opened and Randelon quickly stepped in closing the door behind him. Randelon was the nervous sort by nature even as he was an absolute genius.
Glancing up to him I said, “Randelon the new ship we hauled in today……”
He nodded eagerly with barely controlled agitation at having to be still for even a moment.
“I want you to go over it with a fine tooth comb. On the outside it doesn’t look like much or that noticeably different from other such vessel classes, but inside at its nuts and bolts it’s like a racing sloop. It’s built for speed far beyond its looks and almost everything about it inside is different than I’ve ever seen before. I want to know who built it and if it holds any other surprises worth knowing about.”
“Iiiiiiiiahhhh do ittttt!” Randelon stuttered out excitedly.
He grasped at the door handle behind him and ended up smacking face first into the wall instead as he turned to exit the room. He hurriedly corrected his course and got the door open.
“Randelon.”
He looked back with eyes that seemed already focused on the task I had allotted to him.
“Don’t forget to eat and take some time to sleep every once in a while. You’re looking to thin again.”
“Iiiiiii nneverr sleeppp.”
“I know you don’t, but taking a moment to relax time to time won’t hurt you. I need you Randelon. You’re my main go to guy to help me keep all this worn out junk operating at full capacity.”
He smiled broadly, only to then smack his face off the doorframe as he made to go for an exit from the room a second time. The door clanged shut and I listened for a while to his excited mutterings to himself about what he would need to dissect the new ship apart.
I rubbed my hand across my eyes tiredly. I did not want to become like Randelon, with half my brain to fried to know whether it was time to sleep or not.
My door opened again just as I was pulling my second boot off. It was my mother.
Smiling she came towards me, “Quite the speech my son, although I would have left out the part about blowing your head off in a year’s time.”
Chuckling I nodded. Coming to me she pulled my face up and kissed me on the forehead.
“I’m glad you’re back safe, son.”
I nodded tiredly relishing the feel of her hands massaging at the tensed up muscles of my shoulders. I let my head rest against her as she squeezed rhythmically.
Chuckling softly she said, “I am not the one you should still have doing this. You need a woman my son.”
Oh no, not this conversation again!
Her hands felt so good though that I didn’t want to cause an argument so wisely I stayed silent.
“Do you want me to go get one for you? I imagine there’s an easy twenty or so of them that would be only too eager to come if I asked.”
I pulled my head back to look up at her, “Have you suddenly lost your morality like everyone else these days mother?”
Laughing she shook her head, “No, I just wanted to see if you were listening. Well mostly anyway.”
I ducked my head down again, but she pulled my head back up, “You’re going to be forty in a few years dear. You need to get started making a family!”
Looking into her well-meaning eyes I asked, “Why?”
“Why?” She asked startled before then asking, “Don’t you want children?”
Looking into her eyes I said as kindly as I could, “No. You know why? Because I don’t want to watch them die like you’ve had to do. I’m not married because I’m psyched out enough with trying to keep everyone else motivated without driving a woman nuts from having to put up with the stress I live under. Beyond that the woman I wanted chose a man from the Zanzi Squadron ten years ago instead. In fact I may have killed him today with this gun! I don’t know, but I do know that none of this matters because the second this fleet pulls clear of these asteroid fields we’ll show up on every long-range scanner from here to our former homeworld on the other side of the galaxy! Then we’ll all die, but at least then it will all be over. Having a woman in my bed and a child to call my own are the last things on my mind right now!”
She was crying and hating myself more than I already did I stood up and moved away as far in the room from her as I could. I pressed my face to the wall waiting for her to leave as I felt unable to deal with any situation that involved emotions right now.
I felt her arms come around me and haltingly I said, “I’m sorry mom. I……”
“Shhhh.” She soothed against my back and after a silent moment she said, “I’m the one who is sorry. I truly do know what you’re going through son. I watched your father suffer for years as it seemed like little bits of his soul were cut away with the loss of more and more of our people. I truly do understand it’s just that I don’t want it to happen to you like I saw it happen to him.”
I turned from the wall and hugged her to me.
Whispering against me she asked, “When did you lose your faith my son?”
“This morning.” I mumbled into her hair, as I remembered for a moment the comfort she had been to me as a little boy, when the fleet was under attack from enemy ships.
Those days were long gone now. As it was we really no longer possessed the ability to make a fight of it. All we could do and had done for going on the past twenty years was run.
Mother pulled back and meeting her gaze I witnessed all her motherly zeal come to the forefront as she said, “You may think God has forsaken you, but I know He hasn’t. You’re going to find that out for yourself. Now get some rest, you look awful.”
“Thanks.” I said.
She smiled and patted me on the cheek before going to the door. Turning back she said, “You did the right thing today. The time to run from whatever our fate will be is over. It’s time to begin something new. Your father would be very proud of you, even as I am. Sweet dreams my son.”
She closed the door after her and tiredly I went and laid down on my bed. Myst hopped up beside me and idly I stroked at her fur as I thought over what I’d said to the people today.
I’d shocked myself by saying what our new strategy would be. I had no way of explaining it other than the desire to step onto a grassed plain again had seemed to overwhelm all conscious thought to propose to do otherwise. For better or worse we were committed to the new course at hand.