We might not even make it to Albany, Abby thought, looking out the window. The snow was falling heavier and faster and the wind was kicking up and sending the snow drifting, which, although Abby couldn’t drive yet, she’d lived long enough in the Northeast to know that drifting snow and driving did not mix. Not at all. There was no way, no way, Josh was going to risk driving all the way to Albany. She didn’t know exactly how far away it was—she thought about getting the road atlas from her knapsack—but she knew it usually took her and her father between an hour and an hour-and-a-half to get to Boston (back when he used to take her on day trips to the big city) and that Albany was farther away than Boston. No way was Josh going to risk driving all the way to Albany. No friggin’ way, as Josh would say. Yup. Her trip to Albany was going to get nixed before they’d even got out of town.
Abby glanced at Josh. She could ask him if he intended on trying to make it all the way, and judging by the way he’d been trying to get her to talk he would answer her truthfully and sincerely. Honestly, when she’d got into the car—sorry, The Beast—a part of her had thought that perhaps they could talk, maybe work things out. But the despairing part inside her had drowned out that hopeful part. Now she wasn’t too interested in talking to him at all. She was content to sit and stare out the window and let Josh drive as far as he wanted to. All he was doing, after all, was giving her a ride. That was it. They were not an item any more. It was over, they were done with it. She had no delusions of them getting back together again, and she had no desire to get back together.
Absolutely none.
Nada, as Josh would say.
She cast another glance his way and caught him looking at her. He quickly turned away.
The Beast turned left—god, she was actually thinking of the car as if it were a living being—and its rear wheels slid across the road. Josh’s hands scrambled across the steering wheel to get it back under control, adding to Abby’s doubts about completing the trip and causing her heart to sink deeper into her stomach. She stared at the snowflakes assaulting the windshield. That’s what life was right now—a full-on frontal assault, but from all sides.
Life, and her father, and Josh…and here she was again doing what she never ever would have done a year ago—making excuses for herself, blaming all of her problems on others, absolving herself of any responsibility. But it was her fault. Should she have gone out with Josh and run the risk of getting dumped? No—her fault. Should she have put her father on such a high pedestal where she thought he could do no wrong? No—her fault. Should she have allowed herself to get sucked in by Jessica Sanderson’s obviously insincere offer of friendship? No—again, her fault. Guilty, your honor, on all three counts.
Three false starts. Disqualified from the race.
But at the same time, it wasn’t all her fault. Josh was cute and charming, her father had once been a good man, and Jessica had seemed genuinely interested in being Abby’s friend. Three false starts against them, too. Maybe that made it all even-steven.
Abby stopped thinking about her life and what a shambles it was. She glanced at Josh. He wasn’t looking at her this time. Good. Just the way she wanted it.
Good.
She turned her attention to the road ahead and to the whirling snow rushing at her.