Chapter 12
Shen exited the dome and out of the castle. Where the wall met mountain, Irksome was there, with mates. He had built a nest. The females rushed him but stopped short of physically engaging him. Irksome made a noise. They pawed the earth.
“Have the corner, it’s yours,” Shen said, and continued on his way.
He made it to the tree house and slept the night there. TL was with him, but gave him space. It took effort not to talk to her. He found it difficult to sleep. Morning came just when he found he could sleep and decided to linger until lying on the wood irritated him. He got up went straight to Midelay. He was hailed but didn’t speak. He went to the circle, followed the protocol, and entered, went to his knees and waited to be officially recognized.
“Shen, I see you. State your request,” Flame said.
“I would like to speak to N’Ma,” Shen said. He did not look up.
It took an hour before N’Ma and her entourage arrived. Her chair-stool was placed. In some ways he was reminded of the Vulcan T’Pau and their protocols for bringing her present. N’Ma was just about her age, if not older. “Rise, child of the forest,” N’Ma said.
Shen stood. “Please, teach me about the forest.”
“You already know more than you should,” N’Ma said.
“Why do you ban men from learning?” Shen asked.
“We do not ban them from learning,” N’Ma said. “They have a different path.”
“May I go to Sinter and speak with the Elders?” Shen asked.
“I will send a petition,” N’Ma said. “I doubt very seriously that you will be accepted.”
“Why?” Shen asked.
“You’re not on the path,” N’Ma said.
“Tell me what I have to do?”
“You won’t do it,” N’Ma said.
“What is it? Fight? You want me to kill people?” Shen asked. “I have sworn off killing.”
“I know,” N’Ma said. “I would not ask you to renounce that. I actually agree with that.”
“Then what?” Shen asked.
“Return to Easterly,” N’Ma said. “Remain there till I call you.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, no. You need to contribute to the family, to the village,” N’Ma said. “Be a part of that community. You can’t be a child of the forest and expect a path to Sinter to just magically open to you. Demonstrate to me you can be one of us.”
Shen looked at the ground. N’ma was silent, observing, trying to understand him. “Shen, you could fight your way there. People will die. Even as powerful as you are, and I have a small understanding of that, you will not go to Sinter without a tremendous amount of death. And, I guarantee you, you will die on that path. You may think we are simple folks, but I assure you a level of power will be brought against you that even you can’t resist,” N’Ma said. “You could go to war with us; people will die. You will die. That is one path. The other path, the easier path, is to be one of us. Or, you can go live your life in the forest and dance with ghosts.” Shen brought his eyes up. “Maybe I should.”
“That’s not why you’re here,” N’Ma said.
“How do you know?” Shen said.
“There’s time enough for ghosting when you’re dead,” N’Ma said. “You’re here to live and to contribute.”
“You don’t have a clue why I am here,” Shen said.
“Do I understand your soul mission in life? No. I do not understand that. I do understand life and death. The things we do in death are not the things we do in life. Those are two different worlds. There is a twilight area where the two worlds meet, and together the two worlds have a purpose, but you don’t rush the river to the ocean. It gets there when it gets there. That’s it.”
“I can’t just go live a simple life with no tech and no magic,” Shen said.
“Can’t or won’t?” N’Ma said. “Can a boy who has everything be impoverished?” Shen nodded. He sat with that a long moment and nodded again. N’Ma was completely patient with him, and no one dare be less patient than she could command in her presence, so even her entourage tried to impress boredom upon him. “May I pass through your Light to the other side? I wish to go East and home.”
“Of course, son of my Sister’s light,” N’Ma said. “And if you could tolerate an old woman’s company, I personally will escort you.”
“I am extremely grateful for you company,” Shen said.
“Come, let’s walk,” N’ma said. “I invite you to dine with me tonight in Middle, and then go to East Midelay in the morning.
At fourteen, one of Shen’s duties was to fetch water from the river. It had moved further from the village, and so it was a chore carrying pots of water, dangling from pole bundles. He could carry two hanging pots. He was stronger and healthier than he had ever been in his origin world. He walked on the earth easier. He felt lighter, even when carrying a burden. He passed a guy carrying four pots of water. His name was Tynan. He was huge in terms of muscle strength, and held the cliché male, almost no hips, and broad shoulders look. To complete the stereotype, he was as dumb as a box of rocks. When not carrying water, he liked to fight. Shen had wanted to remain and watch the construction of the latest building, because he was fascinated by their construction technique- but he had been compelled to go collect. TL wanted more insight; he suspected he had been paying too much attention and was given busy work. If anyone knew he had a ghost companion, no one had ever called him on it. The dialogues they shared remained in his head.
The dome under construction was just the surface of the thing. First a huge pit was dug, exposing roots, ensuring that the Sleeper Tree Roots that were exposed were not disturbed. They wanted it incorporated into the ‘under’ space, which included pillars and septic system to rival any modern septic. This matched his understanding of his own poop pit back at his cave. The dome would have plumbing to catch rain water for toiletry and gray water was channeled towards gardens. Gardens near homes were lush directly because of human waste and water use. The gas lanterns inside and outside the house were fueled by this same system. Whatever the bacteria was they used for converting waste gave the gas a particular sweet odor, and when burned it had indescribably flowery scent, like burning orange peels. An active house, always had light.
Once everything in the heart of the home was established, it was filled with a pasty white liquid, not cement, but it grew fairly hard as it dried. They built the interior using bundles of grass, bags of sand, getting everything positioned, covered itwith the same white powdery stuff, made from combination of materials, including human waste, and patted into place and shaped like clay. Crystals were pushed into the clay and would allow for natural light to shine into future rooms. Rope defined the plumbing, and different size coils of rope allowed for the size of the conduit or inner vein like plumbing of the home, for either gas, water, gray water, or black. And then, with Master’s Ceremony of Lights would somehow ignite the whole thing in a white, glorious blaze that was so intense one couldn’t look at it. Three days later, when it was cool enough to touch, they would excavate the sand and the bundles of ashes that used to be grass, smooth down any rough area, and commence living.
The domes were solid stone, and were rumored to be able to last forever. Because of that, it was necessary to make sure it was well thought out to begin with, because there were no do overs.
TL had matured right along with him. She dressed to appear like the others here, only she hadn’t colored her hair because she was not an accepted sister apprentice. She could have, no one would have known- but she maintained per their understanding. They had discussed her being permanently solid and infiltrating the ‘invisible college,’ but had decided not to. She remained his secret companion, and he joined her in secret daydream fantasies as he worked, and spent time with her at night in wake and dreams. They assimilated as much of the local culture as they could into their ‘other’ life to try and understand it.
Shen continued to not sleep in the barracks. He was permitted a tent outside the village. It was a place to sleep, that was it. Still he participated with the men. One of his chores was peeling roots, cleaning them, and putting them in a pot. When the pot was full, he would take it to the barracks where the cook would turn it into a meal for the males.
Shen loved TL. She was beautiful. This was not the Loxy he knew- as he hadn’t known her growing up because, she hadn’t grown up. She came into his life a fully mature adult, with a wisdom and aura that defied explanation. TL had all of Loxy’s memories up to the point of divergence. There would be no way for him to know she wasn’t Loxy, except that they both knew that she wasn’t. It wasn’t complicated. They knew, and yet, they continued as if it didn’t matter. If not for TL’s presence, being here would have been worse than prison.
“You didn’t attend the fire dance last night,” TL said.
“I am not interested,” Shen said.
“You understand, what you learn in the virtual world applies to the real world. You can dance if you want to,” TL said.
“Ummph,” Shen said. “I think I have already done that joke. Besides. The drums are too loud.”
“Don’t stand so close to them,” TL said. “The music allows the men to share in the altered states with the women.”
“Yeah. I don’t want my states altered by the music,” Shen said. “And I don’t want their special magical drink.”
“I think one try won’t kill you,” TL said.
“Probably won’t, but my brain is still developing. I will do drugs when I am older,” Shen said. “Besides. It’s not just a fire dance. It’s a coupling.”
“You should couple,” TL said. “That’s how they do it here. You go to the fire dance, you’re selected, you withdraw, do what teenage humans do, and come back to the fire dance and dance some more until another calls you out to couple again.”
“No one is going to select me,” Shen said.
“No one will select you if you never dance,” TL said.
“I have you,” Shen said.
“You do. The thing is, you’re not availing yourself of me, but even if you were, you still need human interaction,” TL said.
“I can’t risk gifting someone,” Shen said.
“The girls here don’t get pregnant until first ceremony,” TL said. “I have confirmed that much.”
“Yeah, I don’t understand that,” Shen said.
“I don’t either, but it’s not unheard of in the anthropological literature,” TL said. “You probably would have enjoyed growing up in Mangaia.”
“That place make’s Star Trek’s Risa and Star War’s Zeltros, seem like Victorian era monasteries,” Shen agreed. For him, Trek and Wars were the same ‘place’ for him, just different maps. He missed both and wanted to see something from both and then remembered how both had been increasingly more disappointing because it seemed the writers chosen to create didn’t understand what they were writing. He wondered why Cameron was never brought in to make a Trek or Wars movie. More than likely, they were not inept writers- but young writers who simply lacked life experience. In the old days, older people wrote the dialogue for televisions shows- likely men who had been married and understood how conflict arises, and held experience on how matters were resolved, not always peacefully, but a peace was earned. Young people raised on Disney films and the only drama they had experienced was High School dramas wrote themselves into traps they couldn’t reason or emote themselves out of, and so- plot contrivances ‘magically’ moved scenes forwards.
“This place isn’t far off. They’re much more sexually liberated than you’re giving them credit for,” TL said.
“Except that they go out of their way to remind me how unattractive I am,” Shen said.
“Go once,” TL said. “I bet you get called.”
“Called out to be ridiculed?” Shen asked. “Or worse, just an experiment to see who can stand a monster.”
“Some people like monsters. Such as the Munsters, the Adams family…”
“Ha ha.”
“I’ll be you’re Friday if you’ll be my huckleberry.”
“Oh, you are rich today,” Shen said.
“Go to the dance tonight,” TL said.
“And if an older girl calls me out, and I Gift her, I have a problem,” Shen said. “I don’t want to stay on this planet. I have a kid, I am screwed. I’ll have to stay and raise him.”
“Or take him with you?” TL asked.
“If it’s male, he might go, but if it’s a female? She’s not going to want to leave her sisters,” Shen said. “It’s best that I don’t hook up here. I don’t intend to stay. I am a visitor.”
“So, you’re anthropologist?” TL asked.
“Umm, maybe,” Shen said.
“You think anthropologist never hooked up?”
“Oh, I am sure they did,” Shen said. “People like strange.”
“You like strange.”
“Monsters?”
“I could make mine go sideways if you like,” TL offered. “Make it tighter when I split my legs?”
Shen laughed. “Fuck me, that’s an intriguing thought” Shen said.
“Anytime, anywhere…”
Shen and TL came to the place the river should be. There was no water. Clearly, two hours ago, there had been water here as evidence by the fact Tynan was carrying water. He set down his burden and tried to understand, and was tempted to follow it back and see if the stream had been dammed.
“Hurry back,” Loxy said. He recognized the voice, it was not TL- it was Loxy.
The companion he thought was gone forever clearly communicated to him. Loxy Isadora Bliss. Spirit guide. Tulpa. First Officer of a Starship that was now more fiction than anything he had in his present reality. TL added: “Don’t just stand there. Go go go. Run like your life depends on it.”
“Use tech,” Shen demanded. “Fly me!”
TL nodded. He jumped, and his Uniform caught him up in a warp bubble. He flew at ground level, shooting past Tynan. He dropped out of warp by the far garden. The first person he encountered was G’Ma sitting by the garden directing the work force. It was more just ‘snapping’ and people agreeing with her.
“Everyone into the main home, now,” Shen said.
No one listened to him.
He ran to the circle and entered, forcing the apprentice on watch to be a little irritated because they had to respond. ‘On watch’ in a village that never had any problems was a little more relaxed and she didn’t want to exit the activity she was in. She forced herself to stop what she was doing and ‘half-assed’ the ritual.
“Seriously, Shen, no one wants an audience with you,” Tora said.
“Get everyone inside the village or they will die,” Shen said.
“Go sleep it off,” Tora said.
“Seriously, call the guard…”
Tama screamed. It was a blood curdling scream that drew everyone’s attention.
Tora ignored Shen to go investigate. People from the garden were coming to investigate. Lanore, Tell, and Neva came from the home to investigate.
“What the hell?” Lanore said.
“Everyone inside, now,” Shen said.
“Too late,” Tama said.
The water came, slow at first. G’Ma, making her way now that her granddaughter has cried out, fell in the thin, creeping of water. Those who were with her ran towards the house- going past her, One slipped and fell, but got up. Shen ran out and collected G’Ma. He fell twice bringing her back, but suddenly Neva was beside him. She traded G’Ma to Lanore, and turned to go back. The water was too much. Neva grabbed Shen’s arm, keeping him from going back into the torrent. Another person shaped object went with mud and a tree and was gone. Someone nearby bobbed up- unable to scream, terrified. Shen made to go after the person
“No!” Neva said to Shen. “Even I can’t swim in that.”
Shen extended his arm as if to do magic, and on command shot a web from his wrist as easily as Spiderman. It caught the person and he reeled her in, hand over hand.
The woman reached up and took Neva’s hand.
The woman fell to her knees, coughing.
“How did you do that?” Tell asked.
The bulk of the river impacted the string of domes and went around. What gushed over the top knocked some people down, but didn’t carry them out of the village. The river continued to shift, and soon the water subsided. Lanore took over, immediately officiating responsibilities, first with the present and injured. She asked Neva to go the ocean and look for survivors. She took Shen and Tama, her best students. Somehow, her water hut had survived. Foam was helping someone who was holding onto one of the pillars. Tama swam out to help a person on a log. Neva and Shen went feeling for bodies. The bay had never been so muddy, and so there was no eyes opened underwater. Heart beat was useless underwater. Even a shark would have difficulty seeing in this mess. Neva found the man that had gone with the tree. She brought a dead man to shore. Shen found Kyla, floating, thanks to the sensors in his suits. He began performing CPR, there in the water, trying to haul her back. Neva came at him.
“What the hell!” Neva said, trying to pull him off her.
“Help me,” Shen said.
“She’s gone,” Neva said.
“No!”
Shen put a warp bubble around them and carried all three to shore, bringing the water in the bubble with them. On the ground, the bubble popped off and water and mud fell away. He arranged Kyla’s body, opened the airway, blew more air, and then performed chest compressions. Neva hit him. Tama arrived and blocked her.
“Trust,” Tama said.
“TL, I need you,” Shen said.
TL arrived on sight, falling to assist. She put a hand over a heart and a hand on near the right shoulder.
“Ready,” TL said. “Clear.”
“Clear?! We’re all fucking wet just do it,” Shen snapped.
TL released energy. Kyla’s chest. Kyla’s chest rose, her back arched. Neva and the bystanders’ eyes were wide.
“Trust,” Tama said.
“Breathe,” TL said.
Shen returned to breathing.
Tama sat down on her knees next to TL. “Can I help?”
“No,” TL said. “Clear.”
“Clear!” Shen said, pulling Tama back.
TL touched Kyla’s chest, and again she came off the ground. Shen was going to fall on her chest to do compression, but TL stopped him with a hand gesture.
“Wait,” TL said. “I have a pulse.”
Kyla turned and vomited. Tama began to cry.
“Come on,” Shen said, getting up and going back to the water.
“Jon,” TL said, following him. “We’re not going to bring anymore back. It took us five minutes to get her back.”
“You got a med pack,” Shen snapped.
“Some things can’t be undone,” TL said. “Death is one of them.”
“What good is any of this if I can’t help people?!” Shen snapped. Tora was there and he snapped at her. “What good is having a fucking voice if no one will listen?! You stupid bitch. We could have saved people.”
TL touched Shen’s arm, reminding him to walk softly. Foam and the man she had rescued came at them but Neva motioned for her to hold. Lanore was there. Everyone was there. Shen shrugged out of TL’s touch and faced them all, spinning.
“I am so sick and tired of all of you dismissing me and ridiculing me. I am trying so hard to fit in, but you’re not even giving me chance to help,” Shen said.
Shen walked away. No one said anything. TL lingered, and without word, followed in pursuit of Shen. When they found him, he was gathering wood for the bonfire where the dead would have last rites. Tynan arrived with his water, completely confused. TL came to Shen’s side and quietly gathered wood. There was a lot of pieces to choose from. They would likely have to use pitch to get it going, but it would burn.
The village secured, Lanore and party went towards Midelay. Their worst fears were confirmed. The river as now a major waterfall, right over the mountain side. Somewhere behind the fall was a doorway leading to East Midelay. The winding bridge was gone. The tower with the light was gone. The place where the winding bridge had been was now a lake, and the river was now flowing further down, having not reached level except here where the river was flowing.
“I am sure they’re alright,” Tell said.
“They are. There are some halls that flooded, but they are okay,” Lanore said.
“We’re cut off,” Ceolla said.
No one said anything.
“What would make the river change?” Tell asked.
“Rivers move,” Shen said. On his walk up he had been re-reading the ‘Mississippi River’ by Mark Twain. The first chapter said it all, and it was his most favorite part of the book. “It likely explains the lack of trees between here and Easterly.”
“It explains your vision,” Neva said. “Had you constructed your village in any other configuration, there would be no people left.”
“There’s nothing more we can do here,” Tell said.
“I know,” Lanore said.
“We should head back,” Ceolla said.
They headed back. Shen fell behind, which was the custom. He fell further behind than the other men. TL had returned to the suit. Tama fell back to walk with him.
“You okay?” Tama asked.
“Yeah,” Shen said. “I want to ask you something.”
“Okay,” Tama said.
“Are you Loxy?” Shen asked. TL tried to comfort him, “Jon, she is not Loxy incarnated…”
“The invisible girl, the one in your dreams?” Tama asked.
“You know?”
“We shared a womb. Why wouldn’t I have shared your dreams?” Tama asked.
“How much do you know of me?”
“Nothing,” Tama said. “It’s so hard to understand that other place. I don’t understand you. I understood you were trying to help people, though. Was that other place heaven? Did heaven reject you, too?”
“Yeah, you don’t understand,” Shen said. “Why haven’t you ever said anything? Asked me questions?”
“I am afraid,” Tama said.
Lanore fell back to talk with them.
“Are you two conspiring?” Lanore asked.
“No, L’Ma,” Tama said.
“I will remind you, you are siblings, whether you look like it or not,” Lanore said.
“There is no romance here, mother,” Tama said. She stormed ahead, leaving her mother with Shen.
Tell and Neva fell back, joining the impromptu party.
“How did you resurrect Kyla,” Lanore asked.
“I didn’t,” Shen said. “Dead is dead. Kyla technically wasn’t dead. If you get to a body in time, you can oxygenate the blood, restart the heart. I was lucky. Kyla was lucky. Mostly, anything over five minutes is death, or severe brain damage.”
“Science words again,” Lanore said.
“I can teach you this much. This is easy stuff. Not magic,” Shen said.
“You deny magic?” Lanore asked.
“No. Magic exists. Consciousness exist. Magic and consciousness are synonymous in my book. It seems to be more evident in this world than mine,” Shen said.
“There is no other world!” Lanore said with vehemence.
“There is only one world,” Neva said, softly. “The surface world and the underworld. You are a ghost. You consort with ghosts.”
“TL is not a ghost,” Shen said.
“You have to leave the village,” Lanore said.
“What?”
“A man caught using magic must be put to death,” Lanore said.
Shen stopped, squaring off with Lanore.
“I didn’t use ma…”
“I don’t care!” Lanore said. “No one at the village is going to care. They believe magic and they believe I will act accordingly. You’re a threat to our very way of existing.
N’Ma told me to give you a chance. I gave you that. You’re my son. I don’t want this path for you, but you chose this path.”
“You would have preferred I let people die than use my abilities?” Shen asked.
“Yes,” Lanore said. “When it’s your time to die, it’s your time. That’s it.”
“I could take him to live with my people,” Neva said.
“No,” Lanore said.
“I can take him…” Tell said.
“No, you can’t!” Lanore said. “No sympathy! They will know. I will know. It is public death or this. This is mercy.”
“How is this mercy?” Shen asked.
“It is merciful that the family doesn’t have to kill one of their own. It is merciful to the village, that doesn’t have to burn one of their own,” Lanore said. “Most people find death more merciful than loneliness, and the Sleep of the tree the easiest death, but you’re immune to that. I don’t think there is a merciful way for you. Some say the call of Fermon is pleasant, then again, some say the passage through it to the underworld takes a hundred years. No Fermon’s have been found in this quarters, probably died out from eating all the walkers. We don’t know if they die or just go dormant. Apprentices that don’t return from their Night Walk may know, but they are not sharing that. I have heard drowning is reasonably painless. You can hold your breath a moment. Go deep. That’s merciful.”
Shen clenched his face. “You’re advocating I kill myself.”
“Yes,” Lanore said. “Spare me from having to kill you. But, live alone as long as you can stand it. You need to disappear, Shen. You need to go somewhere I can’t track you. I see you again, I will kill you.”
Lanore shifted her backpack off and let it drop to the ground. She walked away.
“Mother,” Shen asked. It was gentle. It was almost pleading. Lanore stopped. He had never called her mother.
“Promise me, no one will punish Kyla because of me,” Shen said.
Lanore turned to him. A shadow was falling across him, but he was still in her heart light, on the periphery. “Do you think I would kill her to correct your mistake?”
“I don’t know. I am asking, don’t harm her, don’t excommunicate her, don’t punish her.”
“I am sending you to your death, and yet, you’re more concerned about Kyla than your own fate?”
“Yes,” Shen said.
“I promise. Kyla will be treated well. But if she chooses to go the path of Endel, no one can stop her,” Lanore said. She turned and walked away.
Neva touched Shen.
“You’ll find my Kayak where the river use to be. Take it. Go out and along the coast,” Neva said. “You will find my people if you keep close to the coast.” She turned and walked after Lanore.
Tell nodded. “You’re the ugliest man I ever met, but I am happy we met.”
Tell turned, and walked away. They disappeared into the growing darkness, they pinged out of the heart space, they were not beyond clicking but Shen didn’t want the echo of it. Shen could have illuminated his suit and sparked the land, sending their shadows stretching, but he didn’t. Lanore took Neva’s arm. Full dark took the sky. All silhouettes washed away.
“This will be your first lesson in walking with your heart,” Lanore said.
“My heart is sad, how can I see with it?”
“Wrong heart,” Lanore said.
Lanore stopped. Tama was right in front of her. Neva couldn’t see her, but she knew someone was there.
“He’s beyond the Heart’s Wall,” Tama said. “We should wait till he catches up.”
“He will catch up in the morning. Continue on,” Lanore said.
“We have lost too many people to be losing another,” Tama said.
“Today has been incredibly difficult. Follow your path, not his,” Lanore said.
“No, we wait, or I will go and collect him,” Tama said.
“You will continue on, or I will carry you,” Lanore said. “How do you wish to proceed?” There was silence. “Don’t make me waste a light.”
Tama turned and proceeded in the direction towards home. They came to a point of confusion. Landmarks were missing. Lanore accused them of trusting their eyes, not their heart. Neva, though she couldn’t see as they could, knew they were moving in the right direction. They pressed on and eventually saw the Light of the tower. The closer they got to tower, the more they were tempted to use their eyes. Rocks and felled trees slowed them up but they made it to the gate. All but Tama retired. Tama remained by the gate, waiting.