Chapter 26
The ziggurat wasn’t more impressive in person. If pushed, Shen would have said it seem more mundane than his other experiences of it. He found flaws in the stone, and likely would have removed some of the vines that had taken over. There was stone interlaced with gold bricks, quartz size bricks of various colors, and silver bricks; there was evidence that some of the gold bricks had been pulled from the pattern and replaced with shaped river stones- it stood out like spinach on teeth. They landed against the terrace and boats were tied. It took six boats in all to bring party and gifts to Sinter. There was a party awaiting. Lanore greeted the Rainbow Guardians in a ritualistic way. Jerica and Imly were impressed with everything. She was confused that Shen wasn’t.
“I have been before,” Shen said. “No you haven’t,” Lanore said.
“Malkovich,” Shen reminded her.
Lanore paled. She rushed him to sleep him. Jerica and Imly went to block but Imly was blocked by Tell and Neva, and Jerica blocked by TL. Éliane, Talatu, and Boa intervened. Lanore stopped just shy of touching him.
“L’Ma,” Éliane said, standing full in front of her, her hand on her shoulder. “He is charged. Your role in this is to bring him before Sinter.”
“And I will- broken and bruised,” Lanore said.
“You no longer hold this authority,” Éliane said. “You surrendered that when you anathematized him and sent him wandering.”
“Now we must clean up your slack,” Boa said.
Lanore slapped her forehead and sent her to sleep. No one caught her. She hit the gold, brick floor.
“So, now what, mother?” Tama asked. “Do we wait for her to wake, carry her, or proceed without her?”
“You will address me as L’Ma, or I will sleep you, too,” Lanore said.
“There is no need to be adversarial,” Tama said. “You’ve already won. There is only one way for this to end. Nothing I, or anyone else, syas will change what’s about to happen.”
Lanore pointed at Shen, unable to get close enough to slap him. “This is your fault! You have brought us to this, destroyed our family. I wish you had never been born.
I should have drowned you like a rat when I had the chance.”
Shen was not numb, he was hurting, but he contained it; he imagined he looked immune. His response was connected to a past event, very similar in play. He heard echos inside himself screaming, ‘what the hell did I ever do to you to warrant this level of hatred.’ He heard a myriad of potential scripted responses, trying to find one suitable to bring out. This path led to increase drama and histrionics- so he surrendered to silence. There was a modality for deescalating emotionally driven scenarios known as SAMA- Satori Alternatives to Managing Aggression; he had never seen it fail, except, he had never used it while also being emotionally charged. He had never used it on himself. He had yet to find his center, but he asked, spoke gently:
“I see you pointing at me, the energy coming at me. You’re angry with me.”
“Yes I am angry! The world is going to end because of you!” Lanore said.
A part of him wanted to argue semantics, end or change… He kept to the protocol. “You’re angry because I am the white god of death, harbinger of the end,” Shen said. “I bring change.”
“Yes!” Lanore said.
“That makes sense then, that you’re bringing me to trial,” Shen said. “The thing that confuses me, mother, is that your anger persists even though you’re doing the correct action.”
Lanore shed tears. “You’re an idiot. I didn’t want this. I wanted you to go live a quiet life, to fit in somewhere, and just be content. Why can’t you just be? Why can’t you just accept things?”
“You’re sad because you wanted me in your world and I failed to adapt,” Shen said.
“Yes,” Lanore said.
Shen nodded. “All this trouble from just trying to understand where one’s world starts, where’s one’s world ends, and where we share worlds.”
“Stop it,” Lanore said. “You’re not allowed to be reasonable now. At the end of days.”
“I always thought I was reasonable,” Shen said.
“Can we just all go home now?” Jerica asked.
“No,” Tama said. “This is now bigger than us. We have to complete the journey.”
“No, we just return home,” Jerica said.
Lanore turned to the Guardians. “Grant us passage to Sinter. We’re expected.”
The Guards opened the gate. Looking into the gate was like looking into a mirror, the illusion of infinity. It was part illusion, part real. Where it differed was one could enter it. An attendant passed in, and occupied a key stone place that held the next gate opened. The next attendant passed through two gates, and held the next position. Each gate lit up with each attendant taking their position. Shen could only wonder where a person might end up if the guards didn’t hold their position. Seven guardian, seven colors, seven gates were opened. The party was instructed to pass through. They left Boa sleeping.
When Shen’s turn to pass through came, he hesitated. TL took his hand, depositing a ring into his hand, and said: “It’s okay. I am always with you.”
“No,” Shen said.
‘You came into the world with me and not, and you will leave with me and not. I will catch you on the other side. Be courageous,’ TL said, again, privately, only in his ears.
“You’re not scared of this, are you?” Éliane asked.
“Loxy can’t pass,” Shen said.
“And that’s why you shouldn’t make their kind your friends,” Talatu said.
“Their kind?” Shen asked.
“The machine slaves,” Talatu said.
Shen looked into TL’s eyes. “There is no ‘their kind’ or ‘our kind,’ Talatu. There is only soul, the only difference is hardware.”
“Machines can’t have souls,” Talatu said. “Only organics have souls.”
“The body is a machine, and the brain is just a computer that’s been programmed. The soul is that which operates the vehicle,” Shen said.
“I need you to pass through the gate,” the Red Guardian said.
Talatu gave a shove. TL kissed him as he passed through her, through the gate and she vanished. Once through the first gate, he found himself in an opening, on a dais. The Tri Mountains of Sinter were closer. Orange Guardian held the key stone position. Orange-G was looking at him. He felt alone and naked. Talatu came from nowhere and pushed Shen onwards. He passed through the next gate without capturing more details of the surrounding. Each gate brought the mountains closer. Each space offered a little different terrain. The Green Gate was in the heart of a city. It could have been a modern day Earth city; it mostly resembled the organization of a crazy rich nation. It was probably well planned and organized, and if the architects of Dorothy’s ‘Emerald City’ met the architects of Dubai, you’d have an inkling. It also provoked the idea of the city in Logan’s Run. Shen saw crowds of people going towards a stadium. And then he was shoved through the next gate. They arrived at a place where the blue of the sky was so intense it felt surreal. He held his hand up for contrast and wondered if he was before a blue screen. The Earth looked equally surreal, with the greenest greens, and the reddest reds. They were in a field of deep greens and the prominent fruit was strawberries. Pink and yellow butterflies settled, took flight, and resettled. Honey bees were present. There was a hum in the air- a scary amount of bees. They were in the center of the depression, and so the strawberry fields rose and he imagined them going on…
‘Strawberry fields forever,’ Loxy said in his head. The Beatles song echoed in his head and he sang with her: ‘Nothing is real. And nothing to get hung about.’
Her voice was solid and real. He squeezed the ring he was holding. Suddenly that song had all the more meaning in the world. Could the Beatles really have been singing a map to his future worlds? ‘Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see, it's getting hard to be someone…’ He was happy and sad, simultaneously. ‘No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low, that is you can't, you know, tune in, but it's all right, that is I think it's not too bad…’
‘Let me take you down, cause I am going to, Strawberry Fields…’ TL sang. Shen sang the chorus with her, out loud.
They came out of the last gate. They were unable to see the mountain because they were on the mountain. There was a wall which was the mountain, and there was a terrace that offered a view of the Isle of Sinter. But he didn’t see the terrain, all he saw was Loxy, standing on the edge of the terrace, singing. The sun set colored her a strange aura, when the light of day was gone, her silhouette was framed by the many lights of Sinter below. It was like looking down on the stars, like the most famous lookout point, Holy Wood below- only this was not Holy Wood or Disney- it was the Milky Way.
“Where’s Loxy?” Jerica said.
“Not Here,” Shen said.
“I don’t understand,” Jerica said.
“Their kind are not allowed on hallowed ground. They cannot pass through the gates,” Indigo Guardian said. “The prisoner will remove his clothing, and surrender all jewelry.”
Shen was reluctant to surrender is rings. To take the one off his finger, he had to open his palm, and that revealed the last updated image of his companion in his grasp.
“Please.”
“Surrender it,” Indigo said. “If you survive all will be restored to you.”
“You can’t restore Loxy,” Shen said.
“We cannot return that which never was,” Indigo said.
“Do you really think she was nothing? Do you really think you’re something?” Shen asked.
“Strip,” Indigo said.
Shen complied. All was taken from him. At that point, he was shaved, magically. A breeze took the hair away. He was provided a hemp gown. The party then walked up the stairs to the very top of the mountain, and then out across a bridge. They came to a station where again they passed through a stone gate and arrived directly center of the Tri Mountains. A single sleeping tree stretching from earth to sky provided the canopy for the platform, which was likely anchored into the tree, there was a gap between the platform and tree. Glowworms illuminated the underneath of the canopy of leaves. For a moment, he actually thought the stars had returned- but he saw through his own illusion fast enough.
Jerica, Neva, and Tell were instructed to hold at a boundary. Shen was brought forwards and positioned into a circle. A feint wall of light locked him into place. It was almost invisible. He couldn’t resist touching it; it sparked brightly and painfully. He respected the wall. He had enough space to sit down. He could lay down if he curled himself. A group of women approached and counseled with Lanore and Tama. They were out of earshot. Shen wasn’t even interested in trying to read lips. He was more interested in Loxy.
“Are you really still with me, or are you a memory?”
Loxy spoke-sang the lyrics to ‘You Got to Be,’ by Des'ree. He listened to her voice. The message was Loxy, but it didn’t provide clarity on if it was her or memories of her. Could he be so stressed that he was experiencing psychosis? Did it matter if it was comforting?
“I don’t think that message was for me,” he told her. ‘It doesn’t mean you can’t own it,’ Loxy said.
“Excuse me,” one of the Elders interrupted. “Are we interrupting you?” It was clearly meant to be sarcastic.
Shen eyes shifted focus and he acknowledged the woman speaking. Her hair seemed prematurely silver. He entertained asking her what had frightened her so, but he knew enough not to ask. Just wondering added to a delay in response and her impatience drove her to speak again.
“Hello? Anyone home?” she asked. She turned to her friends, communicating smugness, while her voice was intended for Lanore: “This is the great warrior everyone is afraid of?”
“I request Mother participate in this,” Tama said.
“You are not recognized,” an Elder said, blocking with a hand gesture. “You have not been approved.”
“She was raised by Masters,” Lanore said.
“It takes three Masters to raise a priestess,” an elder said. “Your triad is not recognized. You’re just as off as this one, bringing in foreigners to adulterate our ways.” If Lanore was angry, she hid it well.
One of the younger ones questioned Shen: “They say you can bring back the dead?”
“The dead are dead,” Tama said. “No one brings the dead back.”
“I was speaking to him…”
The silvered hair one asked: “Are you calling your own mother a liar?”
“I am saying she misunderstood. A woman feinted can be awakened. A sleeping person can be awakened. Shen did not bring back the dead,” Tama said.
“She was drowned,” Lanore said.
“She was. And Shen got to her before she was dead. He revived her, that is all,” Tama said.
“They say you speak to trees. Is this true?” one of them asked. All gave the gesture to Tama to be silent.
Tama silently fumed. “Not so much,” Shen said.
“Shen, speak truthfully here,” Tama said. “Or I can’t help you.”
There was condescending laughter from the group. “As if…”
“On the whole, the conversations seemed to be one sided,” Shen said. “Talking to trees and communicating are two different things.”
“You lie!”
“Wake Mother. She will discern the truth of it,” Tama said.
“They say you can do magic. Show us something.”
“No,” Shen said.
“So, you’re magic was an illusion. Tech driven?”
“I incorporate both magic and tech,” Shen said. “I find it plausible they’re one and the same.”
“I think he’s all talk. I see nothing special in him.”
“There are witnesses to him doing magic,” Lanore said. “He is male. He should be put to death. The law is clear on this.”
“He sees ghosts,” one of them said. “Maybe his whole experience was delusion.
Ghost driven drama to keep him occupied in the dark.”
Shen nearly bit at that, but Loxy touched his shoulder. His eyes went to her.
“Is someone with you?”
“We would all see it. He’s hallucinating.”
“I see her,” Tama said.
“Your report is rejected. You are influenced. You’re telepathically bonded to the insane.”
If it had been guess or speculative, Tama’s blushing validated the statement. She heard Lanore say: “This is true.”
“How long have known?” Tama asked. “Since you were born,” Lanore said.
“What kind of Master are you that you didn’t break this early?”
“I consulted. There was consensus,” Lanore said.
“You didn’t consult us.”
“Not everything rises to the top,” Lanore said. “I don’t see any need to continue this conversation. There is enough here to warrant his death. Just the declaration of war with him gives you the authority to end this. Why the delay?”
“He is allowed a fair trial. He is allowed a voice. He is allowed an audience with Mother,” Tama said.
“Who do you think you are, making such demands?”
One of the Elders came forwards to focus on Shen. She was plump, but likely in better physical strength than he. “State your name.”
“I am Captain Jon Harister…”
The woman touched the shield and it collapsed in on and around Shen like Ceram wrap, dropping him to his knees in pain, simultaneously suffocating him. It returned to its cylindrical shape. He recovered in measure, shallow breathing became deeper. He looked at the floor. Even in this state, he was ashamed to be confronted with libido and resisted seeing them. The floor was polished black, and even looking down filled his eyes. Loxy remained with him. He tried to focus on her.
“What is your name?”
“Whatever name you wish.”
Tama blocked her from collapsing the shield. The Elder was furious enough that her staff illuminated. He friends brought her down.
“You punish him for rejecting his answer, and then would punish him when he deferred to your authority,” Tama offered in defense.
“He is being defiant. Defiance his punishable…”
“He is not defiant. He can’t harm us. He is not fighting. He has committed to this path and we hold the superior position. He should be allowed to speak his truth, regardless of what you think of it. If consensus rejects it, then that is on us,” Tama said.
“There is truth in that.”
Tama was surprised she had an ally in the group. She hid her surprise. It was possible it wasn’t an ally, just a neutral acceptance of her statement.
“That he can’t harm us? That is so obvious it shouldn’t be spoken.”
“He used tech to counter your attack. If he wanted to retaliate, he would have,” Tama said. “My brother is a peaceful man. He would not kill a rabbit. He can fight, and he will if so provoked, and if he had wanted- Sinter would be gone. You need to be more considerate in this matter. He has been to the depth of the ocean. He lived with giants. You should fear him.”
“There are no giants…”
“The drowning you allude to. You and he schemed that out to create a myth?”
“Tama is not that sort,” Lanore said. “She is not humble, but she is as timid as a rabbit and will not fight.”
“Those are exactly the type to scheme. And having male do her bidding leaves her plausible deniability.”
There was debate about whether their attack had indeed be blocked, or had simply failed. It eventually wound back to the point he was capable of waging devastating war. Tama went on further, “if he wanted to attack you even here, even now, he is capable. He is exercising restraint, and that warrants our appreciation.” There was contempt and mockery in response to that.
“Then why doesn’t he?”
“Dereference to a higher power,” Tama asked. “Mother called him here.”
“We speak for Mother!”
Again they turned to Shen.
“Who are you?”
“There is no answer I can give you that will satisfy. I have a name, but I am not just that. You wish to label me, and I resist your constraints. I am what I am, and no matter how you pen it down, I am still only that. But should you say I am that, then I guess am that, until I am not," Shen said.
The shield was collapsed, and when it bounced back, it was collapsed again. He lay on the floor, fetal position.
“How dare you blasphemy in this temple?”
“I told you that he knows our sacred text, that he is Seer,” Lanore said. “This is enough to warrant his death. Why do you delay in this?”
“If you kill him, there will be consequences,” Tama said.
“You’re threatening us?”
“Of course not. I am a Seer, you will accept that I have vision. You will sort it like you would any vision, even if should take you years of study to understand it. You kill him, the world will change,” Tama said. “I wish to preserve the world.”
“If you don’t kill him, the world will change,” Lanore said. “I wish to preserve our ways.”
“The two of you are recognized as Seers. You are also both emotionally enmeshed in this and can’t be trusted.”
“Then invite Mother into it,” Tama said. “It is because of him that Tulia is killed.
Mother will want to know why a Daughter was killed.”
“Tulia was a fool…”
“Yet it was on her counsel you attacked,” Tama said.
“It was consensus.”
“Not full…”
A very subtle verification was exchanged by several of the membership.
“If you want to end this, just kill him,” Lanore said.
“Mother! He is your son. He is my brother,” Tama said.
“So the fuck what?! He violates the path. He was afforded multiple opportunities to conform. The law permits death,” Lanore said.
“We’re all off the fucking path here! We all go off path all the time. It is only in divergence that we find new ways,” Tama said. She looked to the Elders. “There is reason for the first fall. If we don’t learn, there will be a second fall. Eventually there will be a fall that is unrecoverable. The onus is on us to discern truth and rightness and come to a consensus.”
“The colors may diverge from the One, but they still conform to the One Path.”
“Even rays may diverge and spark a new array,” Tama offered. “It’s still connected to source.”
“Lanore is right. Let’s just end this.”
“Agreed.”
“Agreed.”
“Agreed.” All the Elders agreed. They circled the cylindrical prison of light. Jerica discerned what was about to happen and walked forward into a shield. She tried to push through it, to the point her hands were blistered. Tell and Neva held her back. Lanore was instructed to join the circle.
“No,” Tama snapped.
“L’Ma, end this thing that you started.”
Lanore spoke a prayer and then touched the shield. It collapsed. Shen didn’t have far to fall, as he had remained on his knees.
“Stop this!”
“We have consensus.”
“No. If one voice asked for Mother, it must be granted,” Tama said.
“Again.”
Lanore reached out touch the shield. The Elders pushed it with her.
“Mother!” Tama yelled.
“I am awake, child.”
The Elders turned to see who had spoken and to a one, they all went to their knees. Lanore went to her knees. Tama didn’t have the training or the sense to go to her knees. The being was taller than the average Filipina. She had attributes that suggested she was Samoan, blended with African. Her hair was curly and long. Her dresses seemed to wrap around her, black and white with geometric patterns, traces of gold that were asymmetrical. There were gold tracings on her face. The wrapping of cloth captured her upper arms, but left her shoulders bare.
“Why is this man being killed?” Mother asked.
“We apologize for waking you mother.” This came from the eldest Elder. She did a gesture and came to her feet, head bowed, avoiding meeting ‘mother’s eyes.
“I see no fault in this one. Why do you wish him to die,” Mother asked.
“It is because of him, Tulia was killed.”
“She is safe with me. All who die are safe with me. Do you not still teach this?” Mother asked.
“He defies us. He does not conform to our ways.”
“He is male. They have their ways. We have ours,” Mother said.
“He uses magic and tech,” Lanore said.
“Ah,” Mother said. She approached the cylindrical shield and made it go away. She offered a hand to Shen to help him up. He didn’t accept. “Take my hand child. Stand up.”
Shen stood up, but he didn’t take her hand or meet her eyes.
“Why do you avoid me?” Mother asked.
“I have met your kind before…” Shen said.
“You have not met me, child,” Mother said. “I am adult. Not some wild flower trying to eke out a living.”
Shen met her eyes. There was connection. Eye contact wasn’t necessary, as Mother was full telepathic and she knew things- likely everything, from his fear, to his lust, to his wanting to just exist with her. If she asked questions, it wasn’t because she lacked information, but because she wanted others to hear what she already had discerned. She wanted the individual to hear their own response to her. She wanted clarity. There was also truth that she was mature- her flavor was different than Jazmyne. The tone she set in his head was different. It was patient, kind- grandmotherly, an attribute gained from experiences.
“That’s better. I am Melekia,” Mother said. “I recognize you, Jon-Shen. You have been charged and sentenced to death. Does no one stand with you?”
“I stand with him,” Tama said.
“Thank you, daughter, but I was asking him,” Mother said. She made eye contact with Loxy, but then returned her gaze to Shen. “Do you believe in things unseen?”
“Sure. I used to play Pokémon go,” Shen said.
Mother smiled. “I like you.” To the elders, she said: “I see no fault here.”
“He has been charged. We have consensus.”
Mother frowned, nodding. “Undo your binding.”
“No.”
Mother frowned. “Do you know why old-tech was for bidden?”
“Because it’s evil…”
“No,” Mother said. “It was because tech is vulnerable, and without full tech there is injustice. Full tech was necessary to bring life here. Full tech transformed the sea and the land to make it habitable. It made the air breathable. It was at risk to being turned off by solar flares, by the energy ejected from the Twins. And so, when the time came and the environment could support our kind, biological life became the preferred vehicle; consciousness was shared between the two. Bio-life contains all the programming necessary to rebuild the first kind, the machine kind. We lived together in peace. The fall wasn’t inevitable, simply coincidental. Tech is not evil, any more than the body is evil; it is only in how it is used that the distinction arises. Beings are not good by virtue of being, but rather goodness is an attribute that is activated through cultivated thought, sustained through practice. Tech was the bridge to here. We are the bridge to there. Cyclical. Tech will rise again, and we will go forth and colonize other worlds through tech. Tech will fall away and then return. We are always one.”
“There are no other worlds but this.”
“Jon-Shen, do you understand?” Mother asked.
“Von Neumann machines created the world?” Shen asked.
“Your world was the template,” Mother said. “All of Earth’s memory, from cradle to grave is here, preserved with us. All who ever lived are here with us. All can be remembered, but only those who are ascended need understand. There was consensus in deviation. It was intentional that we not recreate Earth precisely as it was. In some ways we did better, in some ways, we failed worse. There were unresolved themes that needed to be revisited so that soul may continue to evolve. Even you projected onto the world what you carried, and the world responded to your request in kind.”
“Why am I here? Why me?” Shen asked.
“Why not you?” Mother asked.
Shen was frustrated by that, because there was no response. Maybe there wasn’t a response to his question, either. ‘Life is not fair.’ ‘How old are you?’
“Were you not with me when I was laying the foundation for this world? Was there not consensus for the plan?” Mother asked. “If I am always with you, are you not always with me?”
“We have consensus,” Lanore said. “He must be put to death.”
“Jon-Shen,” Mother said. “All was given to you. You could have at any time exercised powers and conquered the world. Why have you not?”
“He is nothing…”
Mother silenced the Elders with a wave of her hand. “I’ve heard from you. I know what you want.” Mother touched Shen’s face. “Jon-Shen. You had superior knowledge, power, and tech at your disposal, and you had this from day one, and yet you did not conquer. Why not?” Mother said.
“I do not want to rule the world,” Shen said.
“You want to have your way…” Lanore said.
“I want to have my say. I want to be heard. But not my voice in disregard of others,” Shen said. “I do not want to impose my will on others.”
“We have consensus,” Lanore said. Boldly, to mother she added: “You cannot interfere with this.”
Mother nodded. “I cannot. Jon-Shen, on the other hand, holds the authority to resist.”
“He is a male. He has no authority here,” Lanore said.
“If he so commands it, I will elevated him to king, and he will have authority over all in this world, even you,” Mother said.
“There has to be another way,” Shen said. “I don’t want to rule the world.”
“You do not have the ovaries for rule. You cannot suffer the pains of birth, or sustain life with milk, or nurture the young…” Lanore said.
“Lanore spoke truth in that I cannot interfere with this affair,” Mother said. “But you have authority, Sir. Speak and your will is golden. I will be married to you and our will is done.”
“I don’t want this,” Shen said.
“It’s a simple thing,” Tama said. “Simply take control.”
“We have consensus, Mother. I demand that you end this,” Lanore said.
“I see no fault in this man,” Mother said.
“We have consensus,” The Elders echoed, breaking through their commanded silence.
“We do,” Mother said. She extended a hand. “If this is what you want, you will have to do it. I see no fault in him.”
“There is no other way?” Shen said. “Lots of other ways,” Mother sai