Chapter 5
The induction ceremony to become an apprenticed Sister was not a secret affair. Men and women were invited to witness. It was meant to be informative and inspirational. It was meant to encourage respect for the Sleeping Forest. There were people from Midelay, and province outside of West Midelay, along with a party from Easterly. Midelay was in charge of the ceremony. Fourteen candidates were accepted. Candace was one of them. The group in attendance stood some distance from the forest. The candidates were lined up ready to go. N’Ma instructed them. “Just within the edge of the Sleeping Forest, there are painted trees. The first three to touch such a tree and return here will be apprenticed. Go.”
The girls ran. The girl in the lead ran as if she knew nothing about Sleeping Trees. She didn’t trip over a root. Her speed and momentum from running and jumping made her foot ‘tap’ significant enough that the tree responded. A psychic burst put her to sleep, along with the girl that was right beside her, competing to be first. They both went down hard.
Shen immediately moved as if he were going to render air, but G’Ma tripped him.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
Candace was spread out from the groups, wanting to avoid being taken out by someone else’s misstep. There was audible gossip about her being coached. Six girls, Candace included, made it to the thick of the Forest. The light only penetrated so far, shadows seemed alive, indicating a silent rustling of leaves. Candice hesitated at this boundary. Inside, clearly marked by human hands, were Sleeper Trees painted from root to about the height of an adult’s reach. She chose one and went in, her speed cautiously reduced. There was no clear, fast track to a tree, as roots went in every direction, crossing each other. If she stayed feet to earth only, she risked breaking an ankle if she fell. She put a hand on a tree, singing softly to it. Prayerful, asking permission to touch it. She balanced on a root and went in. She made it to the painted tree, and saw another, just beyond this. It was this side of Heart’s Wall, and visible. She tried to stay Heart, but the sound around her, and the flickering of light through trees kept bring her out. If she closed her eyes, the movement of leaves reminded her of fire. She went to the next, deeper painted tree. There was another deeper in. She looked back. She could see out. One of her peers met her eyes, smiled, and went further in. Candace went in. Her Heart confused her. There were a circle of trees all around, tightly enough that if she thought she were enclosed by trees. With her eyes, she could discern darkness and lightness, and knew which way was back by this alone. There was no painted trees behind her. She circled her tree, and found that painted side was on one side. She circled their tree, and headed back, drawing a straight line from painted side out. She was baffled to find herself emerging simultaneously with another sister. She felt for sure they would have been ahead. The one that emerged with her had gone as deep, if not further in, as she. There were more girls at the edge, asleep. Had they hit a root? As she and her fellow candidate emerged, a thud sounded. A Master had shot a bolt from a cross bow and tagged one of the trees. As she went down, she saw two other bolts. She and her peer slept.
Shen went forwards.
“Hold your ground, or I will make you sleep,” Lanore said.
The group dispersed into smaller groups, sat down on the Earth and on blankets, and began to eat and drink. Lanore, Tell, and Neva sat at their campsite with their apprentices and their families.
“Come on,” Tama said.
Shen looked to her and then approached Lanore. “L’Ma, I am worried.”
“Boys will do that,” Lanore said, garnering appreciative smiles from her group.
“They could be hurt,” Shen tried.
Lanore looked at him. “They could be. They may die. This is not your concern.”
“This is the way it has always been done, boy,” G’Ma said.
Shen started to walk away.
“Where are you going?” Tama called.
“Home,” Shen said.
“Come back and sit your ass down here,” G’Ma said.
Shen was in tears. “You sent your own daughter out there to die?!”
Lanore clinched her hands. She stood. “You think I don’t know? You think any mother here doesn’t know what’s in line for us? We do what we do, all of us. The sooner you come to grips with reality, the easier this path will be for you. Get over here, sit down, eat your meal, and stop emoting like 2 year old! You’re not Fiver.”
“No!” Shen said.
Lanore tagged his forehead with the palm of her hand. He went down as easily as the Candidates, sound asleep.
“It’s about time you…”
Lanore hit her mother. She fell over sideways, sound asleep against Ceolla who eased her all the way to the ground.
“Anyone else tired?” Lanore asked.
No one from her group met her eyes. Tell seemed amused. Neva struggled not to judge. Tama’s eyes were on her knees. Someone from another group met Lanore’s eyes.
“Mind your own camp. And accuse me of coaching again, and I will have your hide,” Lanore said.
Tell and Neva got up and managed to get Lanore to walk with them without it being apparent they were trying to coach her. She calmed as they drew out of earshot of the gathering.
“What is wrong with me?” Lanore asked.
“Maybe we should give the boy more information. He only reacts emotionally when he is concerned for the wellbeing of others,” Neva said.
“I am confused by all this double talk. Treat him like a boy, I get grief, and now you want me treat him like a woman, make him privy to our ways?” Lanore asked. “It’s not his place.”
“It’s his place to care for the tribe,” Neva said.
“He challenged me in public!” Lanore said.
“He can’t challenge you in public,” Tell said. “He can’t question you in private.”
“You agree with Neva?” Lanore asked.
“No. Her kind are much too soft on males,” Tell said. “But then, if you make anyone sleep in water, they drown. So, naturally there way is different.”
“But you would do something different here?” Lanore said.
“He knows things,” Tell said.
“Useless things,” Lanore said.
“He knows things, with a confidence that you’re not going to beat compliance into him,” Tell said.
“False things,” Lanore said.
“The validity of his beliefs are irrelevant,” Tell said. “He will respond to those beliefs, then to ours. He is resistant to our ways, but he has shown willingness to understand, to negotiate. That is something.”
“You can’t negotiate with crazy. Rabbits and science and nonsense words that mean nothing, gift us nothing,” Lanore said.
“Have either of you entertained that he is a tree tulpa?” Neva asked.
Both Lanore and Tell looked at her sideways. A slight breeze touched them and Neva offered her empty hands as if that was evidence enough.
“You know the stories. The Trees were the first people standing. They created us to care for the world and the sea, so there can be more plants,” Neva went on. “Some of these people they created were spectacularly useful, like the ant and bee people and the glow beetle people, and the bird people. They were the first distribute the seeds of life. Tree Sprites, fairies, unicorns, elves, all of these beings are simply manifestation of the trees. As the trees aged, their sophistication in bringing forth life increased. We, the people, are also manifestations of the trees. Each of us is tree spirit, dreaming of being human, and when we die we return to the tree, bringing them stories of the minute world. They hold the ages, we hold the days. Each incarnation of us lives on in the spirit of the tree, giving them a measure.”
“Have you been drinking spirits?” Lanore asked.
“I thought you were going to say we all return to the ocean,” Tell said.
“Trees. Oceans. They’re all one,” Neva said.
“How do you figure?”
“The ocean is in the trees. The trees are in the ocean. The earth is in the trees, the trees are in the earth. The air is in the tree, and the trees are in the air,” Neva said. “We walk the earth they hold together, we move through air and water that they give us. We are all one.”
“We are all one,” Lanore repeated. She repeated it as she, too, had heard it. She accepted it as sacred, but said it like reciting multiplication tables.
“I heard Shen say the Sleeping Forest was likely one tree. He said it was similar to Pando, the Trembling Giant,” Tell said.
“Meaningless. Absurd. Look at that. Does that look like one tree?” Lanore asked.
“It looks like one forest,” Neva said.
“Says the girl who says all trees look alike,” Lanore said.
“Says the girl who thinks all waves look alike,” Neva said.
Lanore chuckled. “I love both of you.”
The group cheered. They hurried back to see one of the girls get up. She was staggering to her feet. She seemed confused. She turned as if hearing something. She walked into the forest to never be seen again. The father raged and had to be brought down to his knees where he pounded the earth and was sedated by a nearby Master. Candace got up next. She, too, staggered. She walked towards the group. Stopped. She turned back to the forest. She took steps towards the forest. Tell and Neva took Lanore’s hands in theirs. She paused inside the forest. She took a step forwards. She touched a tree, kissed it, turned and walked back to the group, to her family. Lanore hugged her fiercely. She didn’t hug back. She was clearly dazed and full of questions.
She led with, “Why is G’Ma and Shen sleeping?”
They offered her food, she accepted water, and then she threw up. Tell had a bucket ready to catch it. N’Ma came and examined her. She checked her eyes, her temperature, and listened to her heart.
“If you had a vision, do not share it,” N’Ma said. “It would be best if you sleep, if you can. Also, I want you to leave Tama and Shen with me for a spell, maybe a full season.”
Lanore bowed, “Of course, N’Ma. Should I leave Ceolla?”
“I think I can handle a child or two,” N’Ma said. “I got them. I will return them to you.”
Lanore bowed.
They had a space set for Candace. They unrolled blankets and she took to it. She was asleep when the next girl came about, about an hour later. This girl rose from her sleep, heard something and started running, neither towards the group, nor towards the forest. She hit a root and went down again. She fell over top of another girl. They would both be lying there the next day, when the bodies were allowed to be recovered. Another girl got up and started yelling at the forest. She remained yelling until she was recovered. Another girl got up and walked back. She didn’t speak. She did go to sleep, but she never spoke again. Another girl came out, she spoke, she had a bite to eat, and then asked if she could be excused. She laid down and took a nap. Both she and Candace woke up the next day, functioning, but different. They were each accepted by a Master, said goodbye to their family, and were led away.
The remainder of the ceremony was gathering the Sleeping. They were cremated as one on a funeral fire. The father whose daughter had gone into the woods slipped into the forest while eyes were on the fire. He was never seen again.
Jon woke to find himself in a space they called ‘High Conference.’ He was not on the circle, a line on the floor that was illuminated and loosely defined a place where people stood during meetings. It was a ‘virtual’ space, a place where crew avatars met when it was too inconvenient for the body to be present in an impromptu meeting. He was near the dome, looking out into space. The outside view didn’t have to be space. It could be anything they wished to project. Alien world landscapes, or underwater environments. It usually reflected where they were in space-time. The ‘space’ looked familiar, like he should know it, and he struggled to make it fit. A portion of a nearby nebula sufficiently illuminated by nearby stars- could have been a mountain only there was clearly stars to one side. It looked alive, flowing, shifting. Lightening illuminated it from the inside. He touched the dome, tracing out a square and retreated the section out so that he saw more of the nebula- and recognized the Pillars of Creation. He was no longer interested.
The dome responded to his request- suggesting he was really back on the ship. As he focused, though, he realized he could see his reflection on the dome. He must have been all of 8. He would be 52 years old in a month, and here he was, in 8 year old body! The recoil nearly had him running for help.
What stopped him from running was the reflection beyond him. A brunette, Egyptian styled haircut, a bit longer than she usually wore it, touching her shoulders. Her smile moved constellations of freckles. He turned, and she was still there. Solid real. Her uniform suggested Star Trek, only the gold top was comprised of two tone sequins, and if you rubbed her, she’d have a streak rainbow heavy on the violet instead of the gold layer. She was fit thin, yet well endowed. Her eyes were upturned, hooded, almond shaped- mesmerizing, emerald green, a noticeable artifact in the right eye, a feature of central heterochromia. She was brunette, bold, dark eyebrows, freckled with discernable constellations on her cheeks; the right cheek could be the Ursa Major. The prominent left constellation sometimes changed, likely a trick of perspective. Sometimes Jon thought he saw the ‘Chameleon Constellation.’ At the most direct angle, he clearly found the ‘star point’ “Capella,” and then the Constellation ‘Auriga’ naturally fell prominent. Capella was fitting, Latin for female goat, as Jon was a Capricorn. Auriga was intriguing because it translated into Charioteer, as their team call sign was Solarchariot. Her nose was slightly upturned. If she pouted, the fullness of her lips made a heart shape. If she smiled, rooms noticeably brightened.
Loxy was an enigma. The love of his life. The First Officer of his ship. He hugged her. It was beyond strange because his head met stomach, her hands came to his shoulder, then cupped his head, holding him close. She withdrew, holding his arms at shoulder, and knelt down.
“Don’t fucking do that,” Jon said.
She smirked. “Come to eye level?”
“Oh,” Jon said. ‘She’s not treating you like a child,’ he told himself He frowned.
He sighed. Tears welled and dropped. “Sorry. Ship status?”
Loxy nodded. Business first. “We’re good,” Loxy assured him.
“We’re not good. What is this, episode Rascals, TNG?” Jon asked.
“Much more complicated, I assure you,” Loxy said. “Likely less fun, considering your present emotional state.”
“My emotional state is appropriate,” Jon snapped. He frowned, clenching fist. He forced himself to unclench, and a hand came up. “For being all of eight, and the contextual confusion. I have been trying to reach you.”
“We know,” Loxy said.
“You’re aware that you’re not here.”
“Oh, fuck me. Yes I am. The computer responded…”
“It recognized your presence,” Loxy agreed.
“Hence, here,” Jon said.
“High Conference is sublime enough to reach you even there,” Loxy said.
“If I accessed the virtual deck, why am I still 8?” Jon asked.
Loxy smiled. “You like being 8?”
“No!”
“Better 8 than your original 8?” Loxy asked, probing into his life situation.
“It’s different,” Jon said. “Okay. Yes. Remarkably improved. Not the point.”
“Jon, your avatar is likely a projection of how you feel. Eight. Confused. Not in control.”
“I don’t have to be in control,” Jon argued.
“Yeah, you do. Don’t get me wrong. You’re good at letting go, more than most people, but you also hold onto stuff,” Loxy said. “You can be any age here. It’s just a matter of doing it.”
Jon nodded. “Okay, I accept that. Now let’s talk about recovering me.”
“Okay,” Loxy said. “First, how much do you remember?”
“I remember everything up to a point. I don’t know how I got to Tamor,” Jon said.
“Tamor is the name of the world?” Loxy asked.
“I think so. Or the continent I am on. Much of the information is privileged to female gender,” Jon said. “I am listening. I am trying to remote view things. It would be better if they would let me write. I don’t feel very successful relying on new memories.”
“What do you remember prior to being there?”
“Nothing. That’s a gap. I remember all of my life. This life here with you. I remember my life before you. I remember several other incarnations, with you,” Jon said. He smiled. “I remember us, here….” He paused from realization. “I remember other lives with you. Away Missions? Some of these lives, I don’t remember remembering prior to being on Tamor.”
“That’s interesting,” Loxy said.
Jon’s look indicated he didn’t share her enthusiasm.
“Whatever your experience was, you didn’t lose your memory. Or much of it. You gained some memories. Almost like hypnosis,” Loxy said. “This is good.”
“How is this good?”
“I don’t have to start your education completely from scratch,” Loxy said.
“Education?”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t remember me. Us,” Loxy said. She sat down on the floor, Lotus position. “First, let me assure you, you and I are still connected. Don’t go trying to make another tulpa me. I will come to you. You will experience full imposition again.”
“I am lonely now,” Jon said.
“I know. Kind of theme with this incarnation of you,” Loxy said. “Kind of a theme of many of our incarnations together.”
Jon conceded. He drew closer, put his forehead against hers. He longed to hear her voice in his head, telepathic transmission, something stronger than the memory of her voice.
“They call me Shen,” he lamented.
“Oh,” Loxy said. “That’s kind of nice.”
Jon retreated. “Do I look Chinese?”
“Are they Chinese?” Loxy asked.
“They’re all over the map,” Jon said. “The group I am with seems to be predominantly Filipino. There some evidence in facial feature for Japanese and Chinese influence. There is an African woman. I would bet anything she is descendent of Maasai. Dark, dark chocolate.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Loxy said. “We love chocolate.”
“I am eight,” Jon said.
“Physically, yeah. Emotionally, you have always been eight-ish,” Loxy said. He glared. “Okay, maybe twelve-ish. But you are still intellectually about thirtyish.”
“I am fifty one years old,” Jon said. He wrung out his hands. “In an eight year old body. I have wanted do-overs, but not like this.”
“You have not wanted a do-over since meeting me,” Loxy said. “Not since Little Man.” Little Man was code for Jon’s son in his other life.
“Is this a do-over?”
“No, this is a parallel developmental, a tangential universe,” Loxy said. “We’re still trying to understand the situation.”
“Oh! There are Sea Nomads here; Baju. I have heard rumor of another Caucasian woman… Was I killed? Am I a clone?”
“We don’t know the particulars,” Loxy said. “But I assure you, you are you, or you wouldn’t be able to access the virtual deck. I would not be able to communicate with you like I am.”
Jon nodded. If he was wearing Star-Tech, communication would likely be improved. He did not have to wear tech for communication to happen. His ship was capable of identifying his physical energy signature anywhere in the Universe. This ability was a blending of human psy abilities and high tech. If there was one remote viewer on the ship, the ship’s primary AI interface could experience what they experienced. No one remote viewer ever experienced the same thing. Some were visual, others auditory, and some tactile. The more remote viewers on the ship, the greater the AI’s ability to bring coherence to the data retrieved. The ship’s ability to teleport to other locations was made possible through remote viewing humans. Jon was the center point for point to point travel. Until he was dead, retired, or resigned, the ship would likely resist being redirected.
Loxy got up and walked to the dome. She opened up several squares, putting faces inside. The first to come up was Lanore, followed by Tama, then Candice.
“My family,” Jon said, saying their names. He touched Lanore. “She gave birth to me."
“Interesting,” Loxy said. “You remember prenatal life?”
“Yes. It was a long darkness. I thought I was in a sleeping bag, having a fevered dream. I thought you kept touching me, reassuring me, but in hindsight, I guess that was Tama,” Jon said. “How did you get these?”
“Our remote viewers found you, we’ve been gathering intel,” Loxy said. “Tell us what you know of the world. Do you have a map?”
“Limited,” Jon said. “My memory or imagination is getting in the way. Every time I try to perceive the whole world, I get flashbacks to the Death Star.”
Loxy seemed amused. “That’s interesting.”
“It’s annoying. I can’t get around that image,” Jon said.
She put an image of the Death Star on the dome. “Okay. Is their world artificial?” Loxy asked.
“No,” Jon said. His first answer was almost assuredly the correct one, but then he had second thoughts. “It’s not a space station. It feels terraformed.”
Loxy nodded. “That’s the sense we get, too. They don’t speak English.”
“They don’t. They don’t speak anything common, but many of the names, they sound like Earth names,” Jon said.
“They’re a colony world?” Loxy asked.
“That would explain the abundance of rabbits,” Jon said.
“So they have familiar animals?”
“I have not seen anything alien, if that’s what you mean. There are stories of dragons and bears that walk upright,” Jon said. He sighed. “The thing that bothers me the most about the world is the lack of stars.” He turned to her. “Be straight with me, Loxy. Where am I?”
There was some evidence that Loxy was having an inner conversation with someone else, if her eyes going up and to the right meant anything. It was not uncommon when in High Conference to see someone ‘check out’ and then return. In this virtual space, they were avatars. When she focused, she had made a decision to respond. She didn’t look concern. It wasn’t like she was about to reveal, ‘you have cancer and six weeks to live.’ She was serious, however. Professional. Not her usual good humor, ready to crack a joke or make an obscure reference.
“It’s called a Soul Trap,” Loxy said. “Essentially, it’s a pocket universe connected to ours by the equivalent of an umbilical cord. A wormhole.” She illustrated on the dome.
“The black hole on this side is approximately 12 kilometers in diameter. The one on your side appears to be three kilometers in diameter. Souls go in, exploring. They don’t usually come out.”
“Like a wasp trap? Souls are too stupid to go the narrow and out the way they came?” Jon asked.
“It’s not about being stupid,” Loxy said. “But, you’re analogy is appropriate. We have found two artifacts inside the bubble. A G-type star, relatively young, and a single planet. It wasn’t hard to find them, as they’re only other significant artifacts other than the black hole. The size of the pocket, the stability of the pocket and the star’s orbit around the black hole, and the stability of your planet’s orbit, suggests this space was artificially created.”
“For what purposes?” Jon asked.
“We don’t know,” Loxy said. “There is only one species in the galaxy with the technology capable of making such a space. Reasons for creating a space is for security. They establish pocket colonies to ensure their species survival. They do it for experimentation. If something goes wrong, they can cut the cord and set the pocket adrift. Pocket universes can come into existence naturally, but this feels contrived. Not sinister. None of us have detected malice.”
“How did I get here?” Jon asked.
“We encountered an entity. You were kidnapped,” Loxy said.
“Go on,” Jon said.
“It captured you and accelerated into the black hole, entering above relativistic speeds. Reversal of age, or entropy, is either due to traveling faster than relativist speeds, or because of the entity’s biology or tech, or a combination. Maybe it was trying to reverse engineer humans. Maybe it just needed you to be a child. For whatever reasons, it would appear that it caused you to age backwards, and at the appropriate age, it implanted you into a host, probably someone who was already pregnant,” Loxy said. She touched the picture. “Lanore?”
“Why?” Jon asked.
“Million dollar question,” Loxy said. She looked up, nodded, and returned her eyes. “We’re going to lose signal soon.”
“No! Why?”
“I don’t know. We’re noticing a decay in coherence,” Loxy said.
“What does that even mean? Plot contrivance feel here,” Jon said.
“Yeah. Do you have any orders?”
“I take it you can’t take the Enterprise through the black hole,” Jon said.
“We cannot,” Loxy said.
“Can you beam me out of here?” Jon asked.
“No,” Loxy said. “It might be possible for you to build a portal and we link portals.”
“Not likely, not with their tech, in my life time,” Jon said.
“You could find that alien that kidnapped you,” Loxy said. “It clearly has tech.”
“Lord help it when I find it,” Jon said. “Where’s my uniform?”
“It’s here,” Loxy said.
“What happened to ‘one uniform for life?’ Why didn’t it come with me?”
“The alien didn’t take it. It was only interested in you, not the tech,” Loxy said.
“Is she okay?”
“Your suit AI’s interface?” Loxy asked. “Yes. She awaits your return.”
“Am I recoverable?” Jon asked.
“Technically plausible,” Loxy said.
“That species you referred to, the one that makes these traps, they can’t…”
“They won’t,” Loxy said. “A moral boundary issue.”
“They have none?”
“They are super ethical, and they will not violate the sanctity of this space. This isn’t just tech driven, it’s soul driven,” Loxy said. “The space you’re in, it’s a consensus reality.”
“I didn’t consent,” Jon said.
“Maybe not consciously,” Loxy said.
“Why would I unconsciously agree to this?” Jon asked.
“I don’t know. Why would I consciously agree to be your tulpa?” Loxy asked.
“It’s not the same,” Jon said. “Is it?”
“Maybe. One of the biggest complaints of alien abductions on earth is the lack of control people feel, that it happens against their will, but the encounters are agreed upon, subconsciously for sure, maybe even agreed upon prior to birth,” Loxy said. “A telepathic creature will almost always communicate with your core you, your unconscious mind before it reaches the surface you, the you that you perceive as you. Maybe it doesn’t identify with the primary personality interface. You are not who you think you are. Even on a good day.”
“Loxy. Do I have time to sort that better with you and Jung together?” Jon asked.
“No,” Loxy said.
He sighed. “I don’t know what to do here.”
“Grow up?” Loxy offered.
“Ha ha,” Jon said.
“At least you didn’t say something cliché like, forget about me, go on with your lives,” Loxy said.
“Oh, fuck that. I expect you to recover me,” Jon said. “If I die, you go back in time and you recover me, and you leave a dead meat doppelganger in my place.”
“Yes, Sir,” Loxy said. “Oh, I need to tell you this before you go. It’s going to be weird for you.”
“Oh? Weirder than being born again?” Jon asked.
“Every time we remote view you, we find a different age of you,” Loxy said. “Every time we successfully communicate with you, you’re at a different age. You appear not to be remembering encounters, which is not inconsistent with soul to soul encounters, especially if you’re dreaming. There is a good chance, you will experience temporal anomalies.”
“Oh, you’re going to have to try and explain that,” Jon insisted.
“Schrodinger’s Box,” Loxy said. “Meme it.”
Jon sorted it, scowled. “I better not be the fucking cat in this meme.” Loxy gave him an amused, sorry look. “Oh fuck me. Am I alive or dead?”
“Every time we peek into the trap, we get a different you,” Loxy said.
“Even dead?”
“Dead isn’t what people think it is,” Loxy said.
“I am dea