(Readers of all ages can read from this point on)

That night Diana and I hooked up in the hotel room was the beginning. In the following weeks I’d come to learn more about her. For one thing, her demon name was “Ruin” and no one knew her as Diana. That was her former human name. Demons that were born that way are called Naturals. But demons that were once human are known as Transfers.

Diana was unlike any other Transfer demon I had ever met. She thrived on danger and thrills. She was an adrenaline junkie and if it was something that could kill her, she was more than happy to take part in it.

Since she made me the vial of Lanta, we were able to stay off the Paras’ radar for weeks. We used that time to do whatever the hell we wanted. We blew up empty buildings that were important to the angel community, we hijacked Para-owned cargo, and we set fire to a sacred Para museum in Paris. No one got hurt, but watching the building go up in flames gave me the greatest satisfaction.

We didn’t spare the Demon world either. It would only take a few seconds to enter a bar and find something to her disliking. She’d lure the demon that had offended her in some way, over to her. Her eyes would get a dark glow and the demon would lean in, under her spell, and go in to kiss her.

Before he would even make contact with her lips, she’d inhale deeply and suck the energy right out of him. Sometimes if the demon was a real prick, she’d play with him. She’d loop the smoky grey stream that was his energy between her fingers and walk away; he would follow as he was under her control. And when she was no longer interested, she’d finish inhaling his energy and the demon would drop dead. She was a succubus with flare.

When we weren’t pissing off Paras or killing demons, we’d drink Coy, smoke Demon weed (Alka), and have sex. We’d have lots of it and just about everywhere. We’d do it in drop-top convertibles while in the middle of traffic crawling with humans. We’d hook up on the top of Mount Everest and the bottom of the ocean floor while sea life continued to swim around us.

In a barn just outside of Oklahoma, I discovered erogenous zones Diana didn’t know she had. In a mattress store in Ontario, Diana showed me there was a direct correlation between the number of pillows on the bed and the desired angle of penetration. And in the Ritz Carlton Hotel elevator, we stumbled into a sex position that was so complicated we laughed the whole time and she ended up leaving an imprint of her right nipple on the ceiling.

We only had three rules between the two of us: No questions. No commitments. No killing humans or angels. For the most part, being with her was fun. Actually, it was more than that. Diana had reached a place I longed to go: the place where you genuinely didn’t give a damn about anyone or anything.

There was another thing about her that I craved; Diana was wicked. She made no apologies for it. She destroyed what she wanted and did so for no other reason than it’s what she wanted to do.

I, on the other hand, was always having to monitor my thoughts and actions when I was growing up. And I did what was expected of me. I helped even before I was asked. I fought evil and tried to do what was right. But after that night at the bar with the five humans, none of what I did before mattered.

Many times I thought of telling the Paras what really happened that night. I thought of telling the whole world, but that won’t change what they did to me at The Center. And telling them the truth about the death of the five humans would only get someone else in trouble. And I may be a lost cause but I’m not a rat. And I would never give out information that would send someone to The Center—especially a member of my own team. 

Another aspect of Diana I liked: she didn’t care what anyone thought of her. She was a demon and she had no issue taking everything that came with that title. She didn’t love or ache to be with anyone. She had no attachment at all and that meant she was free.

I tried to be free of my past, but there were nights when the things that happened at The Center came back to me. I’d flash back to the mixtures designed to literally twist my soul until I begged for mercy. The simulations they’d play out where I’d watch everyone I loved be subjected to inhumane torture just to see how I would react.

Then there was the final test they gave me. It was the test that I failed every time and it would result in even more pain and torture. That test that made me stay at The Center a whole year instead of a week. The test that almost made me hate my love for Pryor.

One night when my nightmares were particularly bad, I bolted right up in full panic mode screaming, “STAY AWAY FROM HER!”

“Silver, you’re not at The Center,” Diana shouts as she turns me to face her.

It takes a few moments to realize that I’m not bound to a chair. There are no long tubes filled with poison digging into my skin. No one is stripping pieces of my soul away to see where the demon in me starts and the angel begins as I lay on the floor dying.

“I haven’t had a nightmare in days. I thought it was over. Damn it!” I scream as I hurl a bottle of Coy at the wall.

The tension creeps up from the soles of my feet to the tips of my hair.

I sit down on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. Frustrated and feeling like a complete head case, I plow both hands through my hair, lie back, and stare at the ceiling.

“I’m guessing the ‘her’ is the redhead? The First Noru?” she asked casually as she stood above me.

“What? Oh, yeah.”

“Does she know how you feel about her? Does she know about the deal you had to make in order to get out of The Center?”

“No.”

“You’re not gonna tell her?” she asked.

“What happened to no questions?” I replied.

“Fine, forget it,” she said.

I reached over and tugged on her red satin lace-trimmed nightie. She gave in and lay beside me. She then placed her head on my chest.

“Screw The Center and screw the Angel world. You’re a demon,” she reminded me.

“It’s not that easy. I mean, you’re lucky; you don’t love anyone,” I said.

“Yeah...lucky,” she said softly as she slid her head away from me.

Looking back, that was a moment I should have picked up on. Dear Omnis, I was so clueless at the time. I had never lied to any girl I had been with, and Diana was no exception. I told her the truth; I couldn’t be in a serious relationship. I was too screwed up, and besides any girl would always come second to Pryor; that wasn’t fair to whomever I was with.

Normally when I told the girls I was only in it for a night or two, they were okay with the arrangement. They were quick to run and tell everyone we’d spent the night together. When asked, I would never confirm anything. I felt the girls deserved their privacy. If they wanted to shout out a list of their bedroom encounters, that was up to them. But the Angel and Demon worlds would never hear anything about my encounters from me. I always thought that was childish but then again I wasn’t much better, so whatever.

Then there were a few girls that wanted relationships. Although I had warned them I wasn’t boyfriend material and I was not looking for the same things they were. The fact is, when you sit a girl down and say “I don’t want to be with anyone” what she hears is “he doesn’t want to be with me.” Knowing that, it became my job to spot the girls who wanted something long-term and stay away from them. That way I wouldn’t be a jerk off and hurt them.

But Diana was different—she wasn’t looking for anything long-term either. Yes, we spent months together, but many times she talked about loving her freedom and not understanding why humans and angels are so hooked on the whole “love” thing.

I convinced myself of this but as the weeks went on, I knew I was in trouble. For one thing, she kept asking about Pryor. She wanted to know how long I’d had feelings for her and why I couldn’t just turn my feelings off. We argued a lot more and although the makeup sex was mind blowing, there was definitely tension.

In the end though, we didn’t part ways because of emotions. We parted ways because it turns out in the end we were very different...

One morning we had planned an attack. We waited until after hours and had placed bombs inside the Para headquarters in China. Minutes before they were set to go off, I found out a few Paras were actually left in the building.

“We have to go and get them,” I told Diana.

“What, no way!” she replied.

“Look, I told you I would destroy property and make the Paras’ lives hell, but I’m not killing anyone.”

“The Center is run mostly by Paras. They are the enemy here. Why not take out a few of them?” she asked.

“Most Paras are bastards because they think they have some kind of monopoly on goodness. They’re arrogant and entitled. And yeah, sometimes I wish I could snap their necks. But they are still angels and I’m not going to stand by and let them get killed.”

“You stood by while I killed demons, so what’s the difference?”

“The difference is those demons were going to attack us.”

“And the Paras didn’t attack you?”

“That’s different. The Paras who work at The Center don’t represent every Para out there,” I informed her.

“So why have you been helping me destroy their buildings?” she asked.

“Buildings can be replaced. I’m not taking a life.”

“How long do you think you can go on denying your true nature? You’re a fucking demon, just get over yourself,” she rages.

“Call me whatever you want, but I’m going to save them,” I shout as I run back into the building.

I manage to enter the building and warn them in time. The Paras narrowly escape the blow of flames. Once they are safe, I take off and head back to the designated meeting place, just outside Beijing.

It’s late and the colorful streets are fairly empty. I walk into the alley and see her silhouette. She’s leaned up against the wall, smoking Alka. Alka looks like a human cigarette but it’s black and has a neon green glow at the tip. When you exhale, the smoke replays the last few moments before you lit it. The more you smoke, the further back it goes. Smoking is just as stupid for angels and demons as it is for humans. It dulls your senses and weakens your power over time.

“Everyone’s safe,” I told her.

“My hero,” she says, dripping sarcasm.

“I told you I couldn’t let the Paras die.”

“You’re the one who’s always talking about what little shits Paras are. Now we have a chance to take a few out and you bail?”

“What is with you and killing people?” I demand.

“Um, well I don’t know if you know this or not but I’M A FUCKING DEMON!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to be this way,” I argue.

“I’m not this way; we are this way. You have the temper of an evil being. You have the powers evil beings have and I don’t give a damn how grey your damn wings are, you are evil. Today was your chance to stop running away from who you are and you blew it.”

That’s when I look at the puff of smoke she’s blowing into the air. In it there is a hazy image of her watching the Paras enter the building earlier.

“Did you know there were angels in the building?” I ask.

“Silver, I can’t help you if you are not willing to admit who you truly are.”

“DID YOU KNOW THEY WERE IN THERE?”

“Yeah, I did; so what. Angels die.”

“You can’t possibly understand because you don’t feel anything for anyone. I’m done,” I replied as I turned and walked away.

“Silver, wait. That’s not true.”

I turn and face her but keep the distance between us.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“There is someone I have feelings for. I tried to help him today because... I love him,” she said as she averted her eyes.

“Diana...”

“I’m trying to help you become who you really are.”

“The guy who you think I am; I’m not that guy.”

“Then who are you?”

“Someone who stayed too long. Good bye, Diana.”