My whole day had been a nightmare. I’d never, ever, had feelings for a friend’s boyfriend, let alone fiancé. I’d analyzed the whole situation at least a thousand times – I didn’t know how it happened, but I vowed it would never happen again. I wanted to confess, tell her everything, beg her to forgive me, but the selfish part of me wouldn’t let me tell her. I was sure the truth would land me on a plane bound for the west coast by the afternoon.

Bianca had been so good to me, my first real friend since I got here, and I’d kissed her fiancé. I was so ashamed of myself. I didn’t even try to tell myself that it had anything to do with her feelings for another guy – because it didn’t. I couldn’t look her in the eye the rest of the day. When Drake went to join Brent and Bianca in the state room, I couldn’t follow. The guilt was overwhelming. I wanted to crawl into a corner and hide. I considered taking the dingy back to shore just so I didn’t have to face them, to face her. My stomach was tied up in knots, and I was miserable. I could hear my mom’s words from my childhood, “Never lie, cheat, or steal, Camille – any other mistake you make can be forgiven, but lying, cheating, or stealing are actions done with malice, with forethought. You invite evil into your heart if you do any of them.” Mom was a bartender and a waitress most of my life, so she always had advice for me when I needed it, and in that moment when I needed her words of wisdom, these were the ones that replayed in my head.

When the three came back up on the deck, I couldn’t tell Bianca what’d happened. I knew Drake hadn’t said anything because she was laughing and carrying on. It was a good thing I’d watched Titanic two hundred times over the last ten years. I knew every scene, the entire dialogue for the whole movie. I played it over and over in my head, so Bianca couldn’t see what I’d done.

By the time we pulled up in front of Bianca’s house, I was sick of the movie and had started going over lyrics to songs in my head. As miserable as I felt, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I’d never purposely lied to anyone in my life. I knew I’d need to tell her, but I was so distraught I couldn’t tell her today. Thankfully, Brent dropped her off first. I pretended to be asleep in the car because I knew I couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. I continued with song lyrics in my head until she was safely inside her house. Drake had walked her to the door. He didn’t seem to be affected at all – no guilt. What a scum bag.

When he got back to the car, I “woke up” from my pretend nap, but refused to make eye contact with him or speak. The shame began to morph into anger. I felt like I was going to come apart at the seams, and he acted like nothing had happened.

Brent was oblivious to my inner turmoil when he asked Drake, “You and Bianca want to catch a movie later?”

I didn’t give Drake a chance to answer, “Brent, I’d rather hang out with Gretchen and Will tonight.”

Brent glanced over his shoulder. “Uh, okay. I didn’t know you were awake. We can hang out with Mom and Dad today and catch a late showing tonight.”

I didn’t even glance at Drake in the front passenger seat, “No thanks. Too much sun.”

To his credit, Drake agreed. “Yeah, I’ve got a pretty tough week coming up. I doubt we’ll be able to do anything.”

I could see Brent looking between Drake and me. He knew something was up but couldn’t put his finger on it and shrugged. “Okay. Maybe next weekend?”

I cringed at the thought, but Drake again answered, “Maybe. Oh wait...I’m going to a pre-season game in Charlotte next weekend.” I was thankful he seemed to want to keep just as much distance from me as I did him. Maybe he felt just as guilty as I did and was just better at hiding it.

When Brent and I walked in the door, we heard voices in the family room, but I didn’t have the strength to put on a happy face. I went to my room, shut the door and crawled into bed. It was only a little after 4 p.m., but I couldn’t face anyone. It was a fitful sleep; images of Drake kept seeping into my subconscious. Every time I saw those light blue eyes in my head, I startled myself awake – refusing to replay any of the images I’d seen on the yacht today. At midnight, I knew I needed to talk to someone. I picked up the phone and scrolled to Daniel.

He picked up right away, dispensing with the customary, “Hello,” and said, “So, tell me about your latest adventure.”

“I miss you.”

“Oh come on, tired of the private jets and yachts already?”

“Shut up. What’re you doing?”

“Beach day. Bonfire in Carlsbad, met a girl.”

“You always meet a girl. In two days you’ll figure out she’s not perfect and you’ll meet another girl.”

“Naw, I’d give this one a week.”

“Wow, she must be special. You’re such a man-whore.”

“Man-whore? I just love women. So really, what happened today? That mouth freshener girl, did you two do anything today?”

“Mouth freshener girl?”

“Binaca, right?”

“Her name’s Bianca, you bonehead!” Daniel sucked at remembering people’s names. One time he introduced one of his girlfriends to me as “Anita” when in fact her name was “Benita.” She corrected him several times before she decided he wasn’t worth her time. Daniel was a great guy but was never big on details.

“Oh, there’s such a big difference. Did you two get together?”

“Yeah, Brent took us all out on the boat today. But, I’d much rather hear about your day.”

Daniel’s tone was accusatory, “What happened, Camille?”

“Nothing happened. Can’t I just be homesick and want to know what’s going on with you?”

“No. I know you too well. It’s midnight there. You didn’t call me all day: something happened. Spill it.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

“I can’t. I just seriously screwed something up and wanted to hear a friendly voice.”

“I hate it when you hide shit. What happened, Camille?”

I took a deep breath. This was why I had called him. I needed to get it off my chest. I had to tell someone before I imploded from the guilt. Daniel was part psychic, at least that’s what I’d always told him. He always knew when he wasn’t getting the whole story and would drag it out of me, give me advice, and then tell me everything would be fine. “Okay, so there’s this guy, who I don’t like, that I kind of kissed.”

“Why would you kiss a guy you don’t like?”

“I don’t know. Why do you wear socks to bed?”

“Because I don’t like my feet to be cold when I sleep. I’ll ask again: why would you kiss a guy you don’t like? Do you like him, but you don’t want to admit it?”

“I don’t know him well enough to like him or not like him. But I know I don’t like him.”

“Camille, can you hear yourself?”

“Would you shut up and listen?”

“Alright, alright, so you kissed this guy, who you don’t like, and it bothered you so badly that you had to call and tell me you don’t like him.”

“Something like that.”

“If you’re looking for relationship advice, I say: don’t kiss him again.”

“You’re such a genius. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“That’s what I’m here for, baby. To help you weed through the complexities of your psyche. This one was a real stumper. I’ll put it on your bill.”

“So, he’s kind of Bianca’s fiancé.”

“Kind of or he is?”

I took a deep breath, “He is.”

“My vote hasn’t changed. I still don’t think you should kiss him again.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. Do I tell her?”

“Hmmm, who initiated, you or him?”

“Does it matter?”

“If you initiated, then you have to decide if telling the truth is worth giving up the first friend you made out there. If he initiated it, then he’s a snake. He’s probably done it before, and he’ll more than likely do it again – so tell her.”

“I think, maybe, I initiated it. I don’t know...it all happened so fast.”

“Whoa, Cami, you kissed this guy knowing he was Binaca’s fiancé?”

“Her name’s Bianca, and I didn’t mean to.”

“You know, I saw that on the news last week. People walking down the street, minding their own business, and BAM their lips turn elastic and wrap themselves around a friend’s man. Happens all the time. It’s a side-effect from the ‘Stupid Pill.’ Must have refilled your prescription before you lef’ town.”

“You’re not helping, Daniel.”

“Cami, look. You feel bad for a reason. Own up to it with Bianca and it’ll make you feel better.”

“There’s more at stake than me. If I tell her, she’ll break off her engagement. Drake says it won’t happen again.”

“Sounds like you already made up your mind.”

“I feel horrible. I needed to tell someone.”

“I’m not a priest, so no absolution. I think if it were you, you’d wanna know. If it was just a kiss and nothin’ more, she probably won’t break it off with him. But if you don’t tell her and it is something more, you take responsibility for everything that happens next.”

“Nothing else is going to happen.”

“Judge and jury, right?”

“What?”

“If you don’t say anything, and this guy really is a slime ball, you’re acting like the judge and jury by not saying anything — basically forgiving him on Bianca’s behalf. You need to decide if you want to be the judge and jury or if you want to be the cop and report it for her to decide.”

“And if it backfires and blows up in my face?”

“Then she wasn’t that great of a friend to begin with. You can always come back to Cali.”

“Thanks, Daniel. Call me and tell me about Day 2 with Miss Wonderful tomorrow.”

“Who?”

“Uh...the girl you met today?”

“Oh yeah. Get some sleep. You’ll feel better tomorrow. Le’ me know if I need to pick you up at the airport.”