Confession of a First Responder
This book is dedicated to all the first responders. May you find some help from reading it.
What should I do when I feel exhausted and angry while fighting a losing battle?
How can I protect myself while wrestling an invisible, deadly enemy?
Who could help me when I have lost my appetite and interest in life?
Who can restore my inner peace when I am troubled by all the suffering and death?
Who understands that I too have my problems and work stress even before the crisis?
Who knows about my own wounds, worries, and existential struggles?
When can I have some time for myself to regain my strength and sanity?
But I was born and trained for a time like this,
With my own feet, I rush where angels fear to tread,
With my own hands, I rescue people from the jaw of death.
I don’t feel like a hero, nor an angel, I am just answering my calling.
I’m still able to put aside my personal feelings and focus on saving lives,
I can still have a sense of satisfaction bringing comfort to a dying person, but how long can I carry on before I collapse while on duty?
What keeps me going is my firm belief that there is nothing more valuable then life–
I can see it in the sad eyes of those desperately wanting to live, when they can hardly breathe–
I can hear it from those struggling with all their pain but whispering the names of their loved ones–
Since we only live once, I want to make it worthwhile for myself and everyone else.
Meanwhile, I wish I could scream, cry, laugh, or dance as a normal human being,
I wish I could have a normal family life when this pandemic is over.
But I will always say Yes to life, no matter what.