What do you think defines a man?
His age? His ability to make a woman pregnant? Or his ability to work?
Maturity is not in age but in responsibility. Some folks are forty and immature. I see people who grow old but do not grow up; with the idea that life is a playground. Maturity begins when you take responsibility.
How do you respond to situations? Do you blame other people for your actions or misfortune or do you take responsibility?
Joshua and Jerry played in the sitting room and Joshua throw a ball at Jerry. Jerry managed to duck and the ball hit the glass door leading to the veranda and of course, the door broke. When their mum returned from work and saw the mess, she naturally asked Joshua as the older one, who broke the glass. Joshua's response was rather shocking as he shifted the blame to Jerry.
“I threw a ball at him and he dodged and the ball broke the glass, Jerry caused the glass to break.” Joshua refused to take responsibility for his actions. The very way most people live their lives. We are so scared; we keep blaming others unaware that only low self-esteem individuals try to avert responsibility.
One major reason we keep breathing in and out is the responsibilities or duties we have to perform. These duties beckon on us day and night waiting to be carried out. Do not wait until you are told what to do like a 3 year old. Do it because it is the right thing to do.
Taking responsibility is an open door that leads to trust. Your mum tells you to watch your younger brother before she leaves for the market. While she is away, you clean the house, do the laundry, feed your brother and help him with homework. Can you imagine the joy that will be on your mum's face when she returns? That is what taking responsibility is all about. Now she is assured that she can travel for a week and you will be able to take care of the house, she now trusts you.
Now imagine it the other way when she goes to the market and returns to a nasty looking house. Things are not where they ought to be and something gets missing to crown it off. How do you think she would react? You most definitely will lose her trust and it will take a long time to earn it back.
Responsibility is a state of being accountable and answerable for your actions. As you grow older, you are accountable for your future. No one can make decisions for you as regards to your life; the ball is in your court. We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our actions.
I noticed that when a student gets a good grade in a particular subject, he takes the glory and tells everyone how intelligent he is but when the table is turned around and he gets a low grade, he blames the teacher or the circumstance he found himself. He accuses the teacher for his poor performance even if he actually did not prepare for the test. Now my question is why the change of attitude? Why do we take the glory of successes and push blame to our failures? It's our life and we should take responsibility for the results we get, be it good or bad. That's the right attitude towards life. A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.
Everyone yells "Change' in our society, wishing and praying for it to be better but how many of people really work towards that dream? Some believe it's not their responsibility.
Yehuda Berg said “our contribution purely depends on our consciousness and our willingness to support those in need, to show vulnerability and accept the support of others, to share without expecting the credit, to give it out all and allow our hard work to decide the outcome, to understand that control can only be achieved with shared responsibility.”
One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one make and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. We should take responsibility and be the change we want to see.
As a married man, your family is your responsibility. Do not run from your duties as a man, face them.