Human beings are really kind of dumb. We have the natural ability to be happy any time we want. Yet, we don’t learn to use it. Instead, we spend our time trying to acquire things and do things to make ourselves happy. We try to gather people around us who will make us happy. “Things” do not have the power to make us happy. Other people do not have the power to make us happy. To be happier, you have to learn to find happiness inside of yourself and bring it into your life.
People try to do things to accumulate lots of stuff, find better relationships, feel better, become more successful and live longer. A lot of this effort is aimed at making themselves happier. But, much of the time this effort is not effective. In reality, there is nothing we have to do to be happy. We make ourselves happy naturally. All of this running around trying to be happy just gets in the way.
You are probably saying to yourself that I’m crazy and that all of these things do make us happy. People who are not happy just don’t try hard enough, or are not lucky enough to get what they want to make themselves happy.
I don’t believe it. I look around and see people working like demons, acquiring things, gathering lots of people around them, and being successful. But, they are not happy. They are not healthy. Their relationships are toxic. Still, they keep working hard to get more of whatever they have.
The simple fact is, human beings evolved to survive and have babies who survive. That’s it! To thrive as a species on a hostile planet, where everything was trying to kill us and eat us, our mind-bodies* evolved to do what it takes to survive. We did not evolve to be happy.
Because of the way we evolved, we approach everything we do as if it were a survival course. We sweat and strain, and pursue all kinds of things in order to be happy – money, looks, relationships, health, knowledge, entertainment. This activity is more of what we did 100,000 years ago, stumbling through jungles or across plains, looking for something to eat. We still refer to our environment as a jungle -- urban jungle, business jungle, dating jungle.
We are willing to spend a lot of time, and we are willing to suffer to get what we want – hoping that in the end what we get will bring happiness. People who are unwilling to make the effort are called lazy or losers.
What do we want though? In the end, don’t we all just want to be happy? Isn’t happiness the purpose of all of this hard work? Of course it is. We want to do more than just survive. We want to be happy. We want to be fulfilled. We want to live with purpose. Working hard, acquiring a lot of stuff, and being “successful” does not guarantee happiness.
The truth is, we all have the natural ability to be happy right now. At this moment, as you are reading this book, you can be happy. Nothing needs to change in your life. You can be happy just the way you are. And here is a bonus. Psychologists tell us that happy people have better relationships, better health, are more successful and live longer lives. They are not happier because of these things; instead they have these things because they are already happy. It is not success that makes you happy. It is happiness that makes you successful.
The way to approach life is to learn to be happy first. That’s right. Just learn to be happy. By doing so, chances are all of the good things in life that you want will come to you. And, all of the time you are waiting for them you will be happy. If they never come, you will still be happy.
It seems obvious that happy people would have better relationships. It is much easier to have healthy long-term relationships if you are already happy, and you are not looking for someone who can accomplish the impossible task of making you happy.
It may come as a surprise that happy people are often more successful. One reason is that better relationships mean better connections with others and more chances of success. In addition, people who are happier are apter to like what they do, and stick with a career longer. Staying with a job that you like usually leads to greater success than jumping from job to job, looking for the one that will make you happy (another impossible task).
Happy people are healthier and live longer. Nobody is quite sure why, but one reason is that it is easier to adopt a healthy lifestyle when you are happy. Unhappy people are more likely to sit on the couch, in front of the tube, hoping that the next joint, the next drink or the next pint of ice-cream will get them through another day.
So, this book is about being happier. It is about changing your approach to life so that the natural happiness that is already inside of you can come into your life.
It takes about an hour to read this book. During this hour, you will read about different ways of being happier, and each one includes something you can do right now to make yourself immediately happier. Anyone who reads this book and tries the exercises can be happier in one hour.
Going forward, if you can devote an hour a day to these practices you will be happier and happier over time.
Is it worthwhile to devote an hour of your time to learning to be happier? Obviously I think so. If being happier will give you better relationships, better health, more success and a longer life, what better way could you spend your time?
The basic message of this book is, happiness is already inside of you, waiting to be released. It is not something you can buy and it is not something anyone can give you. Nobody can do anything to make you happier.
Instead, you have to find it within yourself and then choose to allow it into your life. Being happy is like flicking a light switch. When the light is on you are happy, and when the light is off you are not. The conditions of your life usually do not matter. What matters is whether the light is on or off. In this book, I show you how to turn on that light.
* In this book I will use the term mind-body, which refers to the way the human body and the human mind are inextricably linked, and interact with the world as a single unit.