Take Control of Chronic Disorganization
Jerri felt trapped by the contents of her home and desperate to change a situation that was paralyzing her life. She was so embarrassed that someone might see inside through a window that she kept all of her blinds closed. The dimly lit interior was depressing on the bright sunny days of May. Inside was a waist-high maze of dozens of boxes, bags of empty soda bottles, stacks of unopened mail, and layers of clothing.
Jerri confessed that she had always found it impossible to be organized. She just could not decide where things should go. She had not allowed anyone, even close friends and family members, to enter her home for many years. It had taken tremendous courage for Jerri to invite someone into her space, into her life, but this 29-year old explained tearfully, “It’s overwhelming. I just don’t want to live like this anymore!”
Feeling totally overwhelmed: that’s the mantra most commonly uttered by those who find themselves in the midst of the chaos of clutter that grows with every mail delivery, notice from school, ring of the telephone, arrival home from a shopping trip. The piles grow because decisions must be made, and decisions cannot be made because the options seem to be never ending. Frustration and exhaustion soon sets in, and the result is the despairing sense of being “overwhelmed.”
Daily life should not be so hard!
Do you find yourself an unwilling participant every time you need to go somewhere or get something done? Keys just seem to elude you. Your children come to the door, ready to go by with only one shoe. The bills you finally remembered to pay need to be mailed today in order to avoid more late fees, but where can you find the stamps? Now, where are those envelopes to be mailed? You set the keys down to locate the stamps and now, where are the keys?
Chaos and clutter is a circle, a maddening one!
For some of us, this is an occasional scenario, but for others, the constant confusion disables an otherwise productive life.
You secretly think “If only I could get organized…” You have a sense of what you want to do, need to do but you somehow cannot seem to get there. Your place just does not even resemble those Better Homes and Gardens abodes everyone raves about and you doubt it ever will. What can you do?
You have made many efforts in the past, read the books, purchased containers, sorted and stuffed and stowed, but a short time later it seemed worse than ever before. For some reason, you did not or could not keep clutter at arms reach. You fear filing papers away because you may never again find them. Could it get any worse?
Being Organized does not Just Belong to Others!
In fact, “being organized” is not a goal worthy of your investment for its own sake, but “being organized” is often necessary to make other goals manageable. At the very least you could hire a professional organizer and pick their brains for tips and hints that you could acquire all on your own.
Some organizer-coaches have found that coaching by telephone is an additional service they can provide to benefit clients challenged by chronic disorganization. An organizer- coach has experience in both on-site, hands-on organizing and in the education, support and clarification process of coaching conversations. Coaching by telephone has made these services available to those who are in geographic regions with few professional organizers. It is also a good service for those who are just too embarrassed to have anyone come into their home.
Accumulating mess, junk and clutter can reach huge proportions for some. Jerri went with the professional coach. Right now, they are likely on some kind of treasure hunt together. Her professional coach has taught her to look for the gems amidst the garbage and mess and that includes a gem of an idea. Together, they are both coming up with workable ideas to help Jerri better manage her own disorganization.
There are still times when Jerri feels overwhelmed, but they are fewer, and she has a strategy for moving beyond it. She schedules a session with her organizer-coach and knows that the time they spend together will be both fun and freeing.
In addition, best of all, today, sunlight fills her home.
Smart Time Management for Busy Moms
When people complain that they do not have enough time to do something, what they are really saying is that the thing is not a priority, and what they are doing is choosing another activity in its place.
Let’s face it, time cannot be managed but people can!
You can tell time to last longer but it just will not do it. So instead of managing it, we must manage ourselves and use our time well. The best way to begin the discussion of time management is to take a look at your busy life and then develop a plan, a vision, or a program.
Whatever you want to call it, it will give your life good direction. If you do not have a plan or at least a distant goal, you will not know which path is the right path to take in your daily life. Whether it is going to the grocery mart without a shopping list, or deciding whether to work full time, a game plan is what is needed most or decisions are haphazard and just will not work so well.
1. Establish priorities.
Write each priority down if it helps (and it usually does). This creates a road map to life and will enable you to easily see how to spend each of your days. For example, if you are clear that your priority is to have an outing as a family, then you will be able to say no to activities that take place during that planned time hour.
If free time is a priority, then you may choose to limit the amount of extracurricular activities a child participates in. Set your priorities with integrity and then stick to them. You will also be able to see when you are straying from any designated path. If you are often straying, then perhaps it is time to reevaluate your plan and then see if it is still working for you.
2.Decide whether you want to be the Chief, Cook and Bottleawasher. Alternatively, perhaps you prefer to be the MANAGER.
A family manager wears a number of different hats, from chef to accountant to personal shopper to nurse to teacher. That does not leave much time for taking care of yourself. The way to claim more time for yourself is to become a great manager and train others in your household to do more of the work in your place. Then (the hardest part) be brave enough to let them do it even if it is not exactly the way you would want it done.
3. Eliminate Time Drainers.
Be realistic about how you spend your time. It sometimes helps to set a timer when doing certain activities to keep track of just how much time you are putting into any activity. A good plan is to work for 45 minutes of any hour, then take a break for some 15 minutes and use that time to watch TV, surf the web, write e-mails, read magazines, etc. Give yourself a time limit for time off and then get back to doing productive tasks. You will feel more refreshed this way.
4. Dealing with Phone Calls and Other Interruptions.
Make use of a stopwatch when you make non-essential telephone calls or when you are interrupted by a call. Be stern with yourself on this and you will save lots of time. Give yourself a time limit so you can move on to the next important thing. Gracefully say “I need to take care of something” and then excuse yourself from the conversation.
5. Shopping Trips
People who love to shop can lose track of time and can lose a whole day without really noticing. Approach shopping as a chore and not a hobby and you will find time you never thought you had. Shop with a list or even a timer. Go into the store for the things you need only. If you are at a shop to take advantage of a sale, set a timer and when the timer goes off, you are done. Go directly to the checkout counter and then head off for home.
6. Coordinate Your Errands
Do your errands when the stores are the least busy. You will be amazed at how many essentials you can take care of at 9:30am and at 9:30pm. Banks and post offices all have slower days than others, too.
Avoid shopping on the busiest days and the busiest times and your errands will speed along much faster and you will not be so frustrated.
Group tasks by type and location. This means you need to have your list of errands. Determine where you can do each. In addition, go to the area where the most tasks can be done. Or go to the do-it-all-giant-super-mega store where you can do grocery shopping, house wares shopping, get glasses, take pictures, and enjoy your dinner. You will save valuable time.
7. Accumulate Free Time
We usually think things will pass along faster than they actually do. Leave free time in your day for when life is unpredictable. Also, leave small wedges of time between appointments in case of traffic or other unknowns. If there is no emergency, then you can relax, read, make calls, listen to the radio, or sip some coffee or tea.
8. Refuse the Last Minute Madness
Always plan ahead for what you will need. Planning ahead does eat up some time, but not nearly as much as not planning at all. Living your life by accident leads to more of the same.
Live with purpose and intention and get more done. You will gain a sense of control when you can quickly lay your hands on what you need and know ahead of time that you have everything you need.
Create a launch pad area where you keep your to do list, returns & receipts, directions, and anything else you will need for your day. Kids need these for backpacks and school items. Make grocery lists so you do not have to stop and think on the spot and avoid impulse buying.
9. Spell it any way you Like N-O Spells NO!
Four-year-olds can say it, so why can't we? Stop saying yes to every club, PTA, and acquaintance that asks you to do something. There are still only 24 hours in your day. Make yourself a priority and say NO to someone today! Give back to yourself for a change. A good rule is never say yes immediately unless you really feel you want to do it. You can always call back and say yes later.
When you do not say NO you end up overscheduling and this makes everyone a little nuts. Keep this in mind for children as well. Too many activities may be more entertaining, but it certainly comes with the cost of stress. Even if you are raising the next whiz kid, every child needs time to do homework, go to school, sleep, eat, and have free time to engage in creative play and thinking without be overbooked.
10. Delegate that Authority.
As soon as your children are old enough, teach them how to take care of organizing, cleaning, and other household maintenance. Teach your spouse as well. This will blend harmony into the fabric of your lives.