Chapter 12
Move Past Your Fears
Moving Beyond the Fear
Conquering a fear or phobia is about more than simply understanding it – it’s about embracing that fear repeatedly and moving past it within your heart. It’s a process that takes place over time and, while some will make large strides upfront, others will find that their journey is ongoing.
Your friends and family are your strength and are there for you to support you – do not be afraid to lean on them. As you work past your fear, you will need their support, certainly emotionally, but also as you work past your fear physically. Someone afraid of public speaking may find comfort in a simple hand on the shoulder or well-intended push forward. Someone with technophobia may find working with a close friend a way to safely and confidently learn a new technology while escaping the often accompanying frustrations. Agoraphobia sufferers may find that, in the company of a trusted friend, they are able to push themselves into new situations and encounter larger spaces. Use your support system – they want to help.
Reflecton Your Successes
Keep a journal of your journey. Though you will experience setbacks and though some days will undoubtedly be tougher than others, each step forward, no matter how small, is a step forward. On days that you are feeling low, read back on your earlier entries to find evidence of just how far you have come; often you will find evidence of your journey’s progress by visiting the earlier days.
Measure Your Progress
To see improvement, define what that means to you at the beginning of your journey. Set tangible goals and milestones – and break large goals into small steps. For example, if you suffer from shyness, set small steps – start with meeting a coworker in the eye, then saying hi to someone new in the office. From there, aim to attend a work happy hour (with a friend). You get the idea. Encourage yourself into new situations and count each one as a new achievement.
Importantly, share your journey – whether that is with a family member, a coach, a friend, or fellow sufferer. By sharing your journey, you are not only more accountable for continuing on your path, but you get support through each step and encouragement to continue and congratulations on each success.